"Pfft—" Harley Quinn covered her mouth and laughed. "His brain's never worked too well. You know that."
Homelander turned to Joker, his expression growing solemn.
"Listen, Mr. Joker."
"Although I've just founded the Earth Human Federation, I regret to say we haven't had time to set up a civil service."
"At present, I'm the federation's only civil servant."
Homelander pointed at himself.
"So I have to wear several hats."
"I'm the police officer responsible for arresting you."
"I'm also the prosecutor responsible for charging you."
"And the judge responsible for trying you."
Then he pointed to an excited Harley Quinn behind him.
"And this beautiful, charming lady is our specially appointed jury."
"Now." Homelander snapped his fingers. "The Human Federation Supreme Court, Kent Farm Circuit Court, is officially in session!"
"What?" Joker's smile faded a little. This turn of events wasn't in his script.
He had been tried countless times and faced countless judges and psychiatrists.
But he had never seen anything like this. It was even crazier than he was.
"Your Honor, the prosecutor will read the charges." Homelander switched roles mid-monologue, adopting a pained expression.
"The prosecution will now present its case."
Homelander made a show of taking out an imaginary set of notes.
"The defendant: Jack. The charges are as follows:"
"First, crimes against humanity. That one doesn't need explaining."
"Second, being ugly and having terrible taste. Green hair with a purple suit? What are you, a moldy eggplant? You're charged with damaging the federation's image and inflicting irreparable visual pollution on the new world's cultural development."
"Pfft—hahaha!" Harley Quinn couldn't hold back her laughter. "A moldy eggplant! That's perfect!"
"Third, and most important..." Homelander narrowed his eyes, murderous intent plain to see.
"...you made my little pumpkin sad."
"The evidence is conclusive, and the facts are