Find Me Someone

"What was Project Insight for?" Pierce rose to his feet, walked over to the massive floor-to-ceiling window, and looked down over Washington.

"For order." Sitwell answered as if reciting from memory. "Through algorithms, we predict threats, and before those threats can take shape... eliminate them."

"Exactly." Pierce nodded. "Stark, Banner, Steve Rogers... they are all on the algorithm's list. They are threats, but... predictable threats."

"But this Homelander..." Pierce's smile vanished. "He isn't in the algorithm. He appeared out of nowhere, he's absurdly powerful, and now he's practically brothers with the President."

"He isn't threatening order, Rumlow. He's... establishing his own order."

"So what?" Rumlow snorted disdainfully. "He's still human. And humans have weaknesses."

"Oh?" Pierce turned to look at him.

"Weaknesses?" Pierce's voice turned cold. "Brock, report the results so far."

Rumlow's smile froze.

"Well... the agent we planted backstage at The Jimmy Show tried to collect saliva from the glass he drank from. The glass 'accidentally' shattered before the agent could touch it."

"We sent a Level 7 agent disguised as an extra on the set of Homelander: Origins, intending to 'run into' him. Before the extra could enter his trailer, his assistant Ashley fired her on the spot for falsifying her résumé."

"We even sent our best sniper, equipped with specially designed sampling rounds, to try and... scrape a little skin off him."

Pierce sneered. "The result was that Homelander vaporized the sniper's scope from two kilometers away with Heat Vision... The sniper is still in psychiatric rehabilitation. He firmly believes he saw God."

"That bastard..." Sweat beaded on Rumlow's forehead.

"Brock..." Pierce sat back down and interlaced his fingers.

"He can hear our heartbeats. He can see through our bones. He might even... this pervert might be listening to our conversation right now."

Meanwhile, Azu, who was sunbathing on a beach, suddenly raised his middle finger in Washington's direction.

"What do we do, sir?" Sitwell's brows knitted tightly together. "If he finds out about us..."

"Go, Sitwell. Use all our 'assets.' I don't care what methods you use—I need his DNA."

"A strand of hair, a drop of blood, even a flake of skin."

Pierce patted Sitwell on the shoulder. "Even if he really is Superman... we will create Kryptonite."

"My hair..."

Azu stood in his silk robe inside the enormous walk-in closet on the top floor of Starr Tower, his face full of irritation.

"Ashley!"

"Yes, sir?" His chief assistant, Ashley, rushed in on her heels like a gust of wind.

"Why?" Azu pointed at the leather couch. "Why is there... a blond hair on it that doesn't belong to me?"

Ashley froze. She examined it carefully. "Sir... isn't... isn't this your hair?"

"No." Azu's gaze was ice-cold. "This one... is too thick. And... it's fake."

He pinched the false strand between two fingers.

"This is... the what time this month?" Azu's voice was very calm.

Ashley's tablet was lit up. "Sir, counting the 'female fan' from last night who tried to 'hug' you at the charity gala and was electrocuted unconscious by your custom suit... this is already the twelfth time."

"Twelve times." Azu smiled.

Even in his previous life, when he had been a film emperor, he had never seen so many insane stalker fans.

At first, he thought it was merely a clumsy test from S.H.I.E.L.D.

For example, three days ago.

He had been in the gym at Vought Headquarters, "pretending" to work out for promotional photos, when a new "cleaner" wiped down the equipment nearby with laughably clumsy movements.

Azu's X-Ray Vision easily saw through the military-grade biological sampling device in her uniform pocket.

What had he done then?

"Bzzzt—"

To everyone else, the cleaner's phone had simply short-circuited with a crackle.

But from Azu's perspective, he had used precisely timed Heat Vision for 0.01 seconds to melt the sample case through her uniform, while conveniently burning the phone in her pocket as well.

"Oh, my," he said, "gently" steadying the woman. "It seems your phone's quality is rather poor. Interested in Vought's newest V-Phone?"

The female agent fled in panic.

Azu was already sick of it.

These "rats"... were too filthy.

He recalled that faint yet unmistakable... stench of rot within S.H.I.E.L.D.

"Ha." Azu smiled. "...It's Hydra. Fuck, I hadn't even come looking for you, and you came looking for me instead."

The memories from his previous life instantly came together.

"Serpent Shield... fuck, snakes and rats in the same nest."

"Sir?"

"Ashley. What do you think... paparazzi and stalker fans hate most?" Azu suddenly asked.

"...Uh, getting caught by security?"

"No." Azu shook his head. "What they hate most... is the spotlight."

"I'm sick of these bitches yanking out my hair."

"Ashley."

"Yes, sir."

"Find me someone."

Two days later, Los Angeles. A battered Dodge van sat parked in an alley.

This was Rising Tide's mobile base.

Skye, sporting two enormous dark circles under her eyes, was trying for the Nth time to breach a S.H.I.E.L.D. encrypted firewall.

"Fuck! Failed again!" She irritably raked a hand through her hair, grabbed a can of Vought energy drink, and took a huge gulp.

"S.H.I.E.L.D... you bastards, what the hell are you hiding..."

Knock, knock, knock.

Someone was knocking on her van door.

Every hair on Skye's body stood on end!

Even homeless people refused to come to the place where she had parked!

She snatched up the stun gun from beneath her seat and aimed it at the door.

"Who is it?!"

"Someone... who appreciates your talent."

The voice outside the door was gentle, magnetic, and somehow familiar.

Trembling, Skye pulled open the door.

The sunlight... was blocked out.

A man in a red-and-blue uniform stood outside, an American flag cape draped behind him. He lowered his head and smiled at her.

"..."

Skye's brain crashed for three seconds.

"I... fuck?" The stun gun slipped from her hand and clattered to the floor.

"Home... Homelander?!"

"Hello, Skye." Azu's smile was flawless. "Mind if I... come in and sit down? And perhaps connect to your Wi-Fi?"