The Birth of Heavenly Court's First Batch of Newbies

No one answered no matter how long he called. The Earth God dejectedly plopped down onto the dirt in the garden and stared up at the sky. He couldn't report them, couldn't beat them, and wasn't even a match for a few children. Many of those little brats were Innate Divine Beings, while some were descendants of exotic beasts with Primordial Bloodlines. Fight them? Fight my ass.

Just when he was in despair, he heard a voice—profound and unfathomable. Yet no matter how he called afterward, there was no response. Just as he had begun to hope, Qin Fen mercilessly cast him back into the abyss. Now that voice had appeared again, and he immediately perked up as if pumped full of adrenaline.

"Is it really you, Immortal? That's wonderful! I know about the books, Immortal, but what exactly is a bookstall?"

Of course he understood setting up a stall. Back when he had still been mortal, what kind of stalls hadn't he seen? But a bookstall? Could those little punks actually be buying calligraphy and paintings? He wouldn't believe it even if someone beat him to death.

But since the Immortal had spoken, there had to be a solution.

"A bookstall is just putting out some books for those little brats to read." Qin Fen was thoroughly disdainful. Another country bumpkin.

"Books?" What books? The Earth God's face darkened. They would read books? Even we can't stand reading them. "May I ask what kind of books, Immortal? Immortal arts? This little one's means are limited, and they wouldn't be interested in them anyway. Things like the Four Books and Pentateuch are far too dull."

"Those definitely won't do." Qin Fen picked his nose. I can't stand reading any of those either. "Like Investiture of the Gods or Journey to the West. Haven't you heard of them?"

Qin Fen intended to give him something exciting. Things like Pleasant Goat and Boonie Bears were popular among modern-day kids, but they definitely weren't as shocking as those two books. Besides, it would be hard to explain where the latter came from. He wasn't an idiot; he had his reasons for choosing these two sets.

"How could I not know? Those were major events from many years ago. Though the memories have faded somewhat, those who lived through them are still around. The older generation remembers them vividly, and they still boast to their families about their glory days." The Earth God slapped his forehead. This was brilliant. But while it was good, he didn't know many of the inside details clearly. Writing these books wouldn't be easy—the key was making them appealing.

Exactly. That was Qin Fen's intention: use the fathers' glorious deeds to stir up the little brats' curiosity. And the books couldn't just be text—they had to be picture books. That was the only way they would be enticing enough. Hadn't he fallen into the trap that way himself back then?

And once the children read them, they could also stir up the adults' memories, laying the groundwork for his next move. Qin Fen had it all figured out. The Heavenly Court had been rigid for far too long; its recent changes had only been forced by circumstances. If he wanted benefits, he had to gradually awaken people's most primal desires. Whatever they lacked, he would give them. As a modern man, heh, he would turn their Heavenly Court upside down.

"I can provide them to you, but..." Qin Fen deliberately paused. Whether he ate well or drank gruel in this life depended entirely on WeChat.

"But what? Please show mercy, Immortal. As long as it is within this little one's abilities, I will never refuse." The Earth God was no fool. These immortals were all ancient old foxes, seasoned in the ways of the world. The moment Qin Fen paused, he understood that there was no such thing as a free lunch.

"One thousand Merit." Qin Fen had no idea whether that was a lot or not. More was always better.

One thousand Merit? Why didn't you just rob him? That would be faster. The Earth God's eyes turned red. Though he had quite a bit of Merit, it hadn't fallen from the sky. One thousand right off the bat? Good heavens, did you know how many good deeds he had to do and how many people he had to help to earn one thousand Merit?

"I can't do it, this little one truly can't! Please have mercy, Immortal. One thousand is too much. It's not that I'm unwilling, but immortals have annual Merit assessments. Losing one thousand at once is unbearable. How about five hundred?"

I really can't do it? Qin Fen's mouth twitched. Bargaining? This was the first time he had encountered it. I'm already an Immortal, and you still won't give me face? Looks like being an Earth God really wasn't easy.

An image immediately appeared in Qin Fen's mind: every time Monkey encountered a demon he couldn't figure out, he would take it out on the local Earth God.

"Though mountains and rivers may keep us apart, how about eight hundred Merit from the heart?" Qin Fen sent the line with malicious amusement.

The Earth God looked at it, his mouth twitching. "True feelings remain in the Heavenly Court; leave me five hundred to support myself."

You're really stingy, aren't you? You won't even add a little? Qin Fen laughed. This Earth God was interesting, far more amusing than that Food God fellow. As expected of a capital official, even if he was at the very bottom of the ladder—an old hand through and through.

The Earth God was equally depressed. Had this Immortal been a merchant before joining the ranks of immortals?

"Five hundred it is. Wait there. I'll send them to you shortly." Qin Fen didn't plan to drag things out. Instead, he chuckled to himself. How could two sets of books possibly be enough? Sooner or later, they would finish them. Heh. There would come a time when you begged me again. Even a mosquito was still meat.

First, he would cast a long line to catch a big fish. This old fellow was the Earth God of the Heavenly Court's Immortal Herb Garden.

The Earth God panicked. He didn't think any further ahead at all; he only wanted to get past this immediate hurdle. Even afterward, he would have no solution, because Qin Fen possessed a terrifying advantage: you fuckers couldn't calculate him.

"Please show mercy, Immortal! Help me quickly!" the Earth God shouted, only to discover that the unfathomably powerful Immortal, whose Divine Dragon-like head and tail could never be seen, had vanished again.

Qin Fen really had vanished. He informed the kitchen, then immediately rushed out of the store and ran straight to the supermarket on the ground floor of Dayang Department Store. Surely they sold children's books here.

Seeing how undisciplined this newcomer was, the kitchen apprentices were a little displeased, each of them frowning. Zhang Ye said nothing, merely casting a calm glance in the direction Qin Fen had left.

Qin Fen dashed into the supermarket and headed straight for the target. He picked out two sets of comic books, paid at once, and left. Entering the restroom, he found a secluded stall and shut the door, then pulled out his phone and photographed the books.

Looking at the two new sets of icons, he chose send. At that moment, he received a notification: "As of now, your remaining phone balance is 683."

Damn, that used a lot of data. He had just topped up one thousand, and more than three hundred was already gone. In other words, that cookbook alone had cost him nearly three hundred Merit. Qin Fen didn't dwell on how much he had spent. The wool came from the sheep, after all. Without hesitation, he transmitted the books.

Then he quietly scrolled through Moments, watching for changes. Matchmaker Yue, that fellow who had appeared for the first time, popped up again.

Matchmaker Yue: I'm doomed, I'm doomed! Not long ago, because of population expansion, the Jade Emperor called me in for a talk. Then in the blink of an eye, because the Buddhist School was aggressively recruiting believers, that bastard Taibai actually suggested that we develop the population. Now he wants me to tie Marriage Fates again. Do you think Marriage Fate is like visiting a brothel, where you get the job done if you pay? It has to be calculated—it's very complicated.

Besides, there aren't many among the old ones who have that kind of interest anymore. As for the young ones, they're all clueless greenhorns who don't know anything. What am I supposed to do? How can I spot signs of Marriage Fate? Tying the wrong Red Thread would be a major disaster!

Back then, I made one little mistake, and the Mortal Realm's dynasties ended up with the vice of homosexuality. Sinful, sinful!

Holy shit, so all this time, it was this old bastard who caused the whole gay thing, soap-dropping, and chrysanthemums getting wrecked? Qin Fen was stunned.

I'll increase updates after next week when I change my status. I really don't dare to right now. Things are about to speed up, and putting it on the shelves during recommendations would be a loss. Thank you all for your support. Whether it's clicks, bookmarks, recommendations, or tips, they are all tremendous motivation for me.