Qin Fen's Rotten Idea Makes Matchmaker Yue Kneel

Qin Fen hurried back to the restaurant early in the morning. The moment he stepped through the door, countless eyes around him swiveled toward him. Whether they were waiters, cashiers, apprentices, or kitchen hands, all of them fixed their gazes on him.

Their faces immediately broke into smiles.

"Brother Qin is here."

"Brother Qin, have you eaten?"

"Brother Qin, you came so early. Sit down and rest for a while. We'll take care of things in the kitchen."

Faced with the enthusiastic greetings around him, Qin Fen smiled awkwardly. He had really gone overboard yesterday.

"Go on with your work. Don't mind me." After greeting his colleagues, he found a quiet corner and sat down.

He scrolled through his Moments and finally found the long-absent Matchmaker Yue.

The old fellow had been rather depressed lately. His formerly radiant face had vanished without a trace. He had no idea which bastard had been spreading word everywhere that he was going to tie red strings, regardless of match, status, or family background, and hold one huge matchmaking event.

How could that possibly be acceptable? The Heavenly Court's immortals had largely come from the Investiture of the Gods, and everyone knew perfectly well how they had gotten there. Back when Chanjiao and Jiejiao had fought fiercely, countless Jiejiao disciples had died and been listed among the gods. Chanjiao had made a killing from it. Although many of them had also been invested as gods, their statuses were clearly different.

Enemies grew especially jealous when they met, let alone enemies burdened by the hatred of death. Some had daughters, while others had sons. At the thought of this Ten-Thousand Matchmaking Conference, they could not help but break out in cold sweats. What if their sons took a liking to their enemies' daughters?

The thought of becoming in-laws with an enemy was anything but pleasant.

Matchmaker Yue went to the Li residence. The Third Prince was no longer young and was still an old virgin—a textbook tall, handsome, rich guy.

But the moment he explained his purpose after entering, King Li kicked him straight out.

He then ran to the home of Wen Zhong, the Thunder Department's Chief Deity and Grand Preceptor. He heard that Wen Zhong had a daughter as beautiful as a woman from a painting, and immediately got ideas. She was a standard fair, rich beauty.

A bolt of heavenly lightning blasted him out.

Matchmaker Yue: Sigh, tying red strings and playing matchmaker isn't easy. If I'm not careful, I'll end up like a rat in a bellows, taking heat from both sides. What should I do next?

Just as he was feeling dejected, he suddenly heard a familiar voice.

"Why are you so downcast, Daoist?"

"Hmm, is that Daoist Nature? You came at just the right time. I've run into trouble with the Ten-Thousand Matchmaking Conference."

Qin Fen narrowed his eyes. Of course he had run into trouble. Someone was stirring up mischief.

"I have already divined the cause of your distress. It is because relations are not harmonious, correct?" Qin Fen typed leisurely.

"Daoist, you truly are an enlightened immortal. I beg you to guide me through this confusion and help me overcome this difficulty."

"Haha, what's so difficult about that?" Qin Fen's eyes gleamed. Mind you, this was not showing off—he was thinking.

"Please enlighten me, Daoist." Matchmaker Yue had put aside his pride. The Jade Emperor's decree was a serious matter.

"My mouth feels bland. Sigh." Qin Fen thought to himself, It's been so long, and he still hasn't given me any benefits. That won't do.

"I still have a Peach of Immortality." Matchmaker Yue went all in. What a profiteer—bringing this up now was obviously extortion. But you couldn't catch a wolf without sacrificing a child. Matchmaker Yue gritted his teeth. What was one Peach of Immortality? As long as he did well and earned the Jade Emperor's favor, would he still have to worry about lacking rewards?

How generous. Qin Fen wanted to say, Upload it right away, but damn it, that thing would probably bankrupt him. He could see it but not eat it.

"Daoist, you misunderstand. Peaches of Immortality are so precious; how could I take what you cherish? Ordinary food and drink to satisfy my appetite will do. Nothing valuable is necessary."

Matchmaker Yue's eyes bulged. He had already prepared himself to be fleeced, but Qin Fen suddenly changed direction, nearly leaving him unable to catch his breath. What the hell was he playing at? Couldn't he just finish what he wanted to say in one go? How could he refuse to follow common sense?

"Well, if that's the case, I attended the Peach Banquet a few days ago and met the Great Sage. Since we have a good relationship, he gave me two bottles of Monkey Wine. I'll give you one."

The Great Sage! Qin Fen suddenly realized it. How had he forgotten about him? The monkey was not in the Heavenly Court. Although he had attained the title of Victorious Fighting Buddha, he was not at Spirit Mountain either. He was still lounging around in his hometown, Flower-Fruit Mountain.

Flower-Fruit Mountain was a famous blessed land and celestial grotto, with spiritual earth and exceptional monkeys. The Monkey Wine brewed by those little monkeys was definitely extraordinary. Although it could not compare to heavenly treasures, it was exactly what he needed right now. Put simply, he could afford it.

"That would be acceptable." Qin Fen said nothing more. What a joke—his phone credit balance was about to run out.

Hearing the other party's ambiguous reply, Matchmaker Yue froze. What the hell was this supposed to mean now? "Acceptable"—that word "acceptable" made his heart pound with fear. Could Qin Fen be planning to go back on his word?

"Then what do you want, Daoist?" Matchmaker Yue decided to be direct. I've already taken off my pants. You should show me something substantial now, shouldn't you?

"Aiya, Daoist, sorry, it's time for me to go earn Merit again. Let's chat next time." Qin Fen chuckled.

You ruthless bastard. And "aiya"? Could you be any more fake? Matchmaker Yue immediately called out, "Wait, don't, Daoist! There's plenty of time. Isn't it just Merit? I'll give you two thousand."

"How could I accept that? Merit concerns the cultivation of one's heart, and you do not have much of it either, Daoist." Qin Fen looked solemn and spoke with complete sincerity. He swore it came from the bottom of his heart. Only an idiot would turn down free gains. But as an upright new-era man of principles, a pure-blooded iron-blooded real man who could not be swayed by poverty or wealth and would not accept charity, Qin Fen might be poor, but his ambitions were not! Try not giving it to me, then.

You fucking hypocrite! Matchmaker Yue nearly spat blood, holding it back in his chest. This was getting benefits while pretending to be modest, then making him grovel.

That man's desire for revenge was too strong. Matchmaker Yue clearly remembered swallowing half the Merit last time. He had said Qin Fen did not have much Merit either, and now Qin Fen had dug a pit for him. Worse, he was being cheap himself, jumping into it willingly with a smile. A person—no, an immortal—could not be this shameless.

Strong desire for revenge? Exactly right. How could Qin Fen not know what the other man was thinking? A glance at WeChat made everything clear. He was magnanimous and broad-minded, a man of refinement! To put it plainly, Qin Fen held grudges over every slight and was narrow-minded. Taking advantage of him? Maybe you did not know why flowers were so red. Qin Fen could eat anything except a loss. Shameless, my ass.

"I think we should forget it." Qin Fen sighed. He was far too principled to ever force anyone.

"Don't, Daoist. I'm willing. Daoist, with your great talent, how can you waste it earning Merit? Let me contribute what little I can." Matchmaker Yue was about to cry. Immortals really could not be this shameless. Were you even an immortal? After saying that, he sent over two thousand Merit.

Your customer Matchmaker Yue has recharged 2000 for you. Your current balance is 2269.

Money! Qin Fen really was a man of principle. He could not accept benefits for nothing. As the other party waited anxiously, he immediately sent a message. A person had to have some integrity.

"Where's the Monkey Wine?"

Three Pure Ones above, please strike him dead with Nine Heavens Divine Thunder. After waiting all that time, this was what he got. One could imagine Matchmaker Yue's feelings. He was already about to faint. If he were not an immortal, with his snow-white hair and beard, he would have suffered a cerebral hemorrhage long ago.