Idiot No. 1 Was Killed

What kind of rookie are you supposed to be!

Real rookies are all licking my boots to death!!!

The system screamed internally in a cracked voice, but its body obediently returned the deducted attribute points to Russell. And sure enough, there really was a so-called Novice Gift Pack.

Strength Attribute Point X2, Agility Attribute Point X3, Intelligence Attribute Point X1, Free Attribute Point X3!

Seeing the clearly distinct attribute points, Russell finally realized that what he'd gotten before were all Free Attribute Points. Under normal circumstances, Free Attribute Points were definitely more valuable.

Russell's expression turned sour. Higher value meant harder to draw, which meant the system had cheated him out of a lot of wealth points.

He'd just raised his fist when the system had already scurried off into the distance, craning its neck and not daring to come close.

Russell cursed the idiotic system under his breath. In his mental world, distance meant nothing. He swung a punch into empty air, and the distant system looked like it had been hit in the face by an invisible hammer, crouching down with its hands covering its face.

After adding the attribute points, his base parameters changed again...

Host: Russell

Strength: 13 (7+6)

Agility: 12 (6+6)

Intelligence: 12 (9+3)

Wealth: 5700

Just then, the system pinched its nose and scurried in front of Russell, looking like it wanted to lick his boots: "Dad, the three basic attributes don't need to be as balanced as I said at the start. As long as the gap isn't too huge, it won't cause any harm."

Bam!

Russell pulled back his fist: "Uncle Luo!"

System: "..."

Whatever you call me, the result's the same—you just want to beat me up!

The system's heart was heavy, but like a fish on a chopping board, it couldn't resist. It still had to keep licking, forcing a smile: "So... Uncle Luo Dad, adding Free Attribute Points to Agility can prolong life. It's not true immortality, but if you keep adding, there's no lifespan limit. You can stay young forever!"

Russell's heart stirred at that. No lifespan limit and eternal youth—it was incredibly tempting. Probably every living being's shared pursuit.

But...

What good was being a weakling who lived as long as the sky? Still just a weakling, maybe a bit chewier at best! A weakling's most important task was to know itself. Let living as long as the sky go to hell—becoming a fighting chicken was what mattered.

So Russell decisively dumped all his Free Attribute Points into Agility.

Host: Russell

Strength: 13 (7+6)

Agility: 15 (6+9)

Intelligence: 12 (9+3)

Yeah, that felt better now!

Agility covered physique, the five senses, poison resistance, environmental adaptability, HP, physical defense, and so on. Three Free Attribute Points elsewhere wouldn't boost combat power much, but adding them to Agility made him tougher to beat.

That's right, Russell wasn't adding points for eternal life—he was adding them to be durable!

Simply put, before adding points, Russell would get one-punched by a boss. After adding them, it was different—he could at least be saved!

Done adding points, Russell opened the Novice Gift Pack. Calling it a gift pack, it was really just a Novice 10-Draw.

Ding!

Host initiates Novice Draw, total draws 10 times, obtaining the following...

"Hold on!"

Russell turned his head with a face full of black lines, staring at the system that was deliberately acting cute: "Why are you the one talking?"

The system stuck out two fingers, poking them into its cheeks on either side, and said adorably: "La la la, I've been the voiceover all along!"

Bam!

Straight punch!

Nosebleed!

You can't spoil something like a system. Catch it and beat it, and after the beating, it'll behave!

Russell stepped on the face-down system, ignoring the goofball silently weeping under his foot, and looked over the 10 cards he'd obtained.

Character Card: Husky (Fighting is out of the question, unless the ceiling makes the first move)

Item Card: Glycerin Enema (Excellent moisturizing effect on the skin, especially useful as a skincare product in cold, dry winters, effectively preventing skin chapping)

Item Card: Desert Eagle · Heavenly God (Take back what I said in Chapter 6—the Desert Eagle is still pretty impressive, because spending money brings happiness)

Item Card: Band-Aid X3 (Strong hemostatic, antibacterial, disinfectant)

Item Card: Loose Immortal Pill (Pop one in your spare time, become an immortal on the spot)

Character Card: Ding Xiu (Not bad, kid. That girl... she's nice and wet~)

Character Card: Duan Shuiliu (I'm not targeting you. I'm saying everyone here is trash.)

Skill Card: Iron Blood Jump Shot (Fight and retreat, never back down.)

Skill Card: Acupoint Sealing Technique (Extremely lethal against female targets. Inflicts paralysis + numbness + dehydration negative status.)

Strength Attribute Point X1

Russell: "..."

So many things to complain about, no idea where to start. Forget it, moving on!

Russell added the Strength Attribute Point, watching his Strength rise from 13 to 14, feeling an indescribable sense of accomplishment.

Two more draws left. The ones from the Assassin Alliance world, contributed by the Butcher and the Repairman—Russell didn't save them. Might as well pull them while the iron was hot.

Character Card: Wu Liuqi (Senior hairstylist at Dabao J Hair Salon)

Skill Card: Pistol Mastery (Your pistol skills are excellent.)

Russell: "..."

Who the hell is Wu Liuqi?

Pistol Mastery is already a permanent skill. What do I need this card for?

So frustrating. I really want to find a system and beat the crap out of it!

Russell shot a malicious glance at the system under his feet. The latter shuddered all over, realizing a beating was coming, and immediately scrambled up, hugging Russell's thigh and wailing loudly.

"I'm innocent!!"

"It's not my fault! The draws are all luck-based. What you get has nothing to do with me. I swear to the heavens, I don't have the authority to rig the draws. My authority is even lower than yours. If you can't do it, there's no way I can."

The system smeared snot and tears all over Russell's pants, his expression more wronged than Dou E's. With his current Little Lori look, it was genuinely hard not to feel pity and want to take him home and pamper him.

Bam!

Straight punch!

The system hit the ground without a sound. This time, he didn't cry—because he couldn't. His tears had long since dried up!

The draws were over. No point staying here any longer, but Russell realized a serious problem: this mental world was under his control, yet he had no idea how to leave.

Russell crouched down, lifted the system—whose pupils had gone vacant in self-abandonment—wiped the blood from his nose, and flashed a warm, gentlemanly smile: "From today on, you're sticking with me. If I ever get an itch to throw a punch, be smart about it!"

Are you a demon?

The system was completely speechless. He could already foresee his miserable daily life: no status, no seat...

Wait, I still have a future!?

The system jolted upright, kneeling before Russell, and asked excitedly: "Dear host, what do you mean by 'sticking with you'? You're not planning to erase my will and turn me into a mechanical, brain-damaged system?"

Russell used the head-pat kill, stood up, and looked down at him: "Of course not. You're already so dumb you're basically brain-damaged. If I deleted you, where would I find someone dumber?"

"Boo hoo hoo~~~"

At that moment, the system felt pathetic. He was being called brain-damaged, yet he wasn't angry at all—he was actually happy.

"By the way, are there many systems like you?"

The system blinked, thought for a moment: "I don't know if there are many, but the host I used to assist, Idiot No. 1, ran into another system before. They had a mission conflict and even fought!"

"What happened?" Russell raised an eyebrow. If you call someone an idiot, they must be a real idiot.

"That battle was earth-shattering, sun-and-moon-darkening, mountains-and-rivers-shattering, all-life-exterminating. My host and the enemy fought from the ground to the sky, from the sky to outer space, and from outer space back to the surface..."

Bam!

Russell pulled back his fist: "This isn't a novel. Why are you rambling with all this filler? What happened? Get to the point!"

"Idiot No. 1 got killed!"

Russell: "..."

Failure Diary

Fewer and fewer readers, more and more failures I know.