Idiot No. 1 Was Beaten to Death

What kind of newbie were you supposed to be?!

Real newbies would have licked my boots to death by now!!!

The system screamed hoarsely in Russell's mind, but its body obediently returned the attribute points it had skimmed off. There really was a so-called Novice Gift Pack, too.

Strength Attribute Point x2, Agility Attribute Point x3, Intelligence Attribute Point x1, Free Attribute Points x3!

Looking at the clearly different attribute points, Russell finally realized that all the ones he had received before were Free Attribute Points. Under normal circumstances, Free Attribute Points were definitely more valuable.

Russell's expression darkened. Higher value meant greater difficulty in drawing them, which meant the system had scammed him out of a great deal of Wealth Points.

He had barely raised his fist when the system had already scurried away, peeking at him from a distance without daring to come closer.

Russell silently cursed the system for being an idiot. In his mental world, distance meant nothing. He immediately punched at empty air, and the distant system seemed to be struck in the face by an invisible hammer, clutching its face as it crouched down.

After adding the attribute points, his basic stats changed once more...

Host: Russell

Strength: 13 (7+6)

Agility: 12 (6+6)

Intelligence: 12 (9+3)

Wealth: 5700

Just then, the system pinched its nose and darted before Russell with a fawning look. "Daddy, the three basic attributes don't actually need to be balanced like I said at the beginning. As long as the difference isn't too huge, it won't cause any harm."

Bang!

Russell withdrew his fist. "Uncle Luo!"

The system: "..."

No matter what you called me, the result was the same. You just wanted to beat me up!

The system was exhausted, but fish on the chopping block had no way to resist. It still had to keep groveling, forcing out a smile. "Um... Uncle Luo Daddy, adding Free Attribute Points to Agility can extend your life. It isn't true immortality, but if you keep adding them, there won't be any limit to your lifespan. You can stay young forever!"

Russell was quite tempted upon hearing that. No lifespan limit and eternal youth were incredibly alluring. That was probably the shared pursuit of all living things.

But...

What was the point of a weakling living as long as heaven and earth? It would still be a weakling, just one with a bit more chew to it! The most important thing for a weakling was knowing its place. To hell with living as long as heaven and earth; becoming a fighting chicken was the real priority.

Thus, Russell decisively put all his Free Attribute Points into Agility.

Host: Russell

Strength: 13 (7+6)

Agility: 15 (6+9)

Intelligence: 12 (9+3)

Mm, now that felt good!

Agility encompassed physique, the five senses, poison resistance, environmental adaptability, health, physical resistance, and more. Three Free Attribute Points wouldn't improve his combat power much if added elsewhere, but putting them into Agility would make him tougher.

That was right. Russell hadn't added points to live as long as heaven and earth; he had done it to become more durable!

Simply put, before adding points, Russell would have been one-shot by a punch when fighting a BOSS alone. After adding points, things were different—he could still be saved!

Once he had finished allocating points, Russell opened the Novice Gift Pack. It was called a gift pack, but it was really just a Novice 10-Draw.

Ding!

The host has activated the novice lottery draw. Total draws: 10. The following have been obtained...

"Wait!"

Russell turned around with a dark expression and looked at the system, which was deliberately acting cute. "Why are you the one speaking?"

The system raised two fingers and poked her cheeks from both sides, saying cutely, "La la la, I've always been the voice-over!"

Bang!

A straight punch!

A bloody nose!

You couldn't spoil a system like this. Catch it and give it a beating, and it would behave afterward!

Russell stepped on the fallen system. Ignoring the goofball silently weeping beneath his foot, he checked the ten cards he had obtained.

Character Card: Husky (Fighting is impossible. Unless the ceiling throws the first punch.)

Item Card: Glycerin enema (It has excellent moisturizing effects on the skin. It is especially useful in cold, dry winters, effectively preventing chapped skin.)

Item Card: Desert Eagle · Heavenly God (Take back what I said in Chapter Six. Desert Eagles are still powerful, because spending money is what brings happiness.)

Item Card: Band-Aid x3 (Powerful hemostatic, antibacterial, and disinfecting effect.)

Item Card: Loose Immortal Pill (Take one when idle, and become an immortal on the spot.)

Character Card: Ding Xiu (You've got good taste, kid. That girl is quite something~~~)

Character Card: Duan Shuiliu (I'm not targeting you. I'm saying everyone here is trash.)

Skill Card: Iron Blood Jump Shot (Fight while retreating, never back down.)

Skill Card: Acupoint Sealing Technique (Extremely lethal against female targets. Can inflict the negative states of paralysis + numbness + dehydration.)

Strength Attribute Point x1

Russell: "..."

There were so many things to complain about that he didn't know where to begin. Forget it, this would do!

Russell added the Strength Attribute Point. Watching his Strength rise from 13 to 14 gave him an indescribable sense of accomplishment.

There were still two draws left. Russell hadn't saved the two contributed by the Butcher and the Repairman in the Assassin Alliance world, so he might as well draw them while the iron was hot.

Character Card: Wu Liuqi (Senior hairstylist at Dabao J Hair Salon.)

Skill Card: Pistol Mastery (You're great with a pistol.)

Russell: "..."

Who was Wu Liuqi?

Pistol Mastery was already a permanent skill, so what did he need this card for?

This was so upsetting. He really wanted to find a system and beat it up!

Russell looked down at the system beneath his foot with ill intent. The latter shuddered all over, realizing it was about to get beaten, and immediately struggled to its feet before hugging Russell's leg and howling in tears.

"I've been wronged!!"

"It has nothing to do with me. The lottery draw is all luck; whatever you draw has nothing to do with me. I swear to heaven, I don't have the authority to alter the Lottery Draw. My authority is even lower than yours. If you can't do it, then it's even more impossible for me."

The system smeared snot and tears all over Russell's pants. Her expression was even more wronged than Dou E's, and combined with her current Little Lori appearance, she truly made people feel sorry for her and want to take her home to cherish her properly.

Bang!

A straight punch!

The system fell in response. This time, she didn't cry, because she couldn't. Her tears had already run dry!

The lottery draw was over, and there was no need to stay here any longer. However, Russell discovered a very serious problem: although his mental world was under his control, he had no idea how to leave it.

Russell half-crouched, helped up the system that had begun to give up on herself with unfocused eyes, raised a hand to wipe away her nosebleed, and revealed a warm smile. "From today onward, you follow me. If my hands ever get itchy, be sensible about it!"

Are you a demon?

The system was completely speechless. She could already foresee her miserable daily life ahead—no status, no seat...

Wait, I still had a future!?

The system jolted and dropped to her knees before Russell, asking excitedly, "Dear host, what did you mean by following you from now on? You aren't planning to erase my consciousness and turn me into a mechanical brain-damaged system?"

Russell patted her head, stood up, and looked down at her. "Of course not. You're so stupid that you're basically brain-damaged already. If I deleted you, where would I find someone even dumber?"

"Wuwuwu~~~"

At that moment, the system felt she was so cheap. She had clearly been called brain-damaged, yet she wasn't angry at all. She was even happy.

"By the way, are there many systems like you?"

The system blinked and thought for a moment. "I don't know whether there are many, but Idiot No. 1, the host I assisted before, encountered another system once. Because their missions conflicted, they even had a fight!"

"What was the result?" Russell raised a brow. If even you called him an idiot, then he had to be a real idiot.

"That battle shook heaven and earth, blotted out the sun and moon, shattered mountains and rivers, and wiped out all living things. The host I assisted and the enemy fought from the ground to the sky, from the sky into outer space, then from outer space back to the surface..."

Bang!

Russell withdrew his fist. "This isn't a novel. Why are you padding things out with so much nonsense? What was the result? Get to the point!"

"Idiot No. 1 was beaten to death!"

Russell: "..."

Failure Diary

There were fewer and fewer readers, but more and more fellow failures I knew.