Meanwhile, a thousand miles away in the Land of Birds.
A gilded palace rose from the barren earth, stark against the crumbling thatched huts around it.
On the palace terrace, a middle-aged man in a medal-covered military uniform and sunglasses spread his arms toward the setting sun, as though embracing the entire world.
Behind him stood two rows of shapely bodyguards in bikini armor. Instead of kunai or shuriken, they carried matching Defender assault rifles plated in pure gold.
"Colonel." A bodyguard stepped forward, her voice sweet. "General Quan of the Land of Rivers has rejected your proposal."
"Hmph. A sparrow could never understand an eagle's ambitions."
Colonel Ka removed his sunglasses, revealing bloodshot eyes burning with fervor. He gazed into the distance as though he could already see himself stealing the show at the Five Kage Summit.
"He's just a dog with no ambition. But I..."
Colonel Ka clenched his fist. Ten gold rings glittered on his fingers in the sunset.
"I'm the man who will become a god!"
The capital of the Land of Birds was less a city than a vast, absurd circus.
There were none of the orderly Arsenals of the Land of Rivers here, nor Konoha's modern skyscrapers. Garbage lined the streets, and gaunt civilians begged in the mud. Above their heads, enormous screens played Colonel Ka's speeches on a loop.
In the video, Colonel Ka stood in a diamond-studded open-top jeep, waving to a frenzied crowd. Amplified through loudspeakers, his voice echoed across the city:
"My people! The age of ninja is over! We have been granted power by the gods! We no longer need to bow to the great nations!"
Beneath the holographic projection, columns of soldiers marched past in lockstep. Their uniforms were a riot of colors, and their weapons were just