"Ross..."
Ultraman glanced at the clock on the wall. It was already past six in the evening, and his excitement kept growing. He paced around the room without stopping.
Whenever he thought of Nalanduo's breathtaking beauty, he rubbed his hands together impatiently. He glanced at Ross, then hesitated, an unusually awkward look crossing his face.
"Captain, what is it?" Ross asked.
"Remember, how many times have I told you? Call me Archbishop."
"Yes, Captain," Ross replied with the solemnity of a vow.
"That's more like it." Ultraman nodded in satisfaction. "The thing is, you know how important tonight's wedding is to me. Could you help me out? Lately, I've been finding it a little hard to keep up with women..."
Fortunately, no one else was there. Otherwise, Ultraman could never have brought himself to mention something so embarrassing.
"Well? You can do it, can't you?" Ultraman stared at Ross anxiously.
Ross froze, then hesitated before answering. "Captain, do you want me to take your place on your wedding night?"
"To hell with you!" Ultraman flew into a rage and kicked Ross hard enough to knock him to the floor.
"You idiot! I've had my eye on Nalanduo for ages. Don't get the wrong idea. I'm asking whether you can help me put on a better performance in bed tonight."
Ross finally understood. A little disappointed, he shook his head helplessly. "Captain, I can make people sick, but I can't cure them. If you want to be impotent for the rest of your life, though, I can help with that."
Before Ross had even finished speaking, Ultraman's foot came flying at him...!
Ultraman was nearly sixty, after all. He had spent years chasing women, and his health had steadily declined until his indulgence had all but drained him.
On a night