And so, at Luke's strong urging, the group stopped shopping and settled in for a five-stack at a burger joint.
What a wonderful evening!
Luke thought about how long it had been since he had teamed up with anyone besides Ninja Soldiers (never, actually). Tony and Coulson were either too busy with women to bother with their buddies or workaholics (by necessity), and neither would play with him.
Glancing at Jane, who was still awkwardly getting used to a touchscreen phone, and the others who had only just downloaded the game, Luke could already picture himself slaughtering the opposition while they worshipped him and cried, "Carry us, boss!"
Luke invited the other four into his party and confidently started matchmaking.
"Your ranks are so low, I can only play unranked with you. Just don't feed. I'll carry!"
The others glanced at Luke's prestigious ranked badge and assured him they would not feed.
The game soon began, and Luke charged out of the base first.
His thirst for slaughter was rising!!!
First blood!
Luke quietly looked up. Everyone looked rather strange, but no one said anything.
"That was a mistake. They outnumbered me. Don't worry, I can recover!"
Luke hurriedly offered a few explanations, but the others had already realized something was wrong.
Finally, a few minutes later, Luke silently slipped into the restroom.
He summoned a Ninja Soldier and handed him the phone.
Here's the phone. You play!
He watched the Ninja Soldier force his account's kill-death ratio from negative to positive, with the two sides' combined kills reaching nearly a hundred.
Finally, the Ninja Soldier tapped the rally signal a few times, then led his teammates in a push that destroyed the enemy base. Luke sighed in relief, took back his phone, and left the restroom.
"Oh, I just fed them a few kills first. Otherwise, it wouldn't have been a challenge."
Luke explained to the others.
Like hell we believe you!
The four had more or less reached a conclusion, but said nothing. And so their "happy" gaming session continued.
Luke ended up visiting the restroom six times that night.
Fortunately, once Jane and Erik, the two doctors, understood the rules, they managed to carry by sheer force. Thor and Darcy both sat beside Luke to make sure he did not feed, and they finally scraped together a few wins without a substitute playing for him.
Well, surrendering meant losing half, which also meant winning half. Do it enough times, and that counted as a few wins.
Before long, the group abandoned Luke, leaving him to drink his cola alone.
"This game's really interesting. It's genuinely challenging."
"Definitely, especially when your teammates are terrible."
Watching them excitedly discuss the game, with Thor practically glued to Jane, Luke quit the game and silently left the burger joint.
Odin, it's not that I won't help you. Just look at Thor! He's actually gone chasing women over a game?
A mere game was enough to lure you away. Are you going to decide the winners of your battles with rock-paper-scissors next?
What a disgrace to Asgard's royal family! Wait, don't I count as a new member of Asgard's royal family too?
Luke shook his head. What a lousy competitive game. He had to compete in real life every day, and now he had to compete in games too?
I'm going to play single-player games!
He returned to his little home in a huff and meekly hugged his blanket as he fell asleep.
Under the blanket's magical power, it was already the next day when Luke opened his eyes again.
He opened his system and found that the nearly three million energy had all been mined. Luke considered whether to spend so much energy buying Ninja Soldiers outright or expanding his squads.
Converting all his troop types into Ninja Soldier equivalents, Luke currently had 5,000 Ninja Soldiers (with 3,000 actual Ninja Soldiers), and buying one Ninja Soldier cost 510 dark energy.
If he bought Ninja Soldiers while reserving enough energy to reach his cap, he could buy roughly 3,800, but he only needed to buy 2,000 to reach the cap. In other words, spending 1.22 million energy would let him prepare five million energy for an upgrade.
Looking at the thick book of coordinates Odin had given him, he felt a surge of confidence.
Upgrade first! Deal with squads when a big battle comes!
He spent 1.22 million energy to reach the cap, leaving 1.9 million energy, 3.1 million short.
Luke entered the Shadow Dimension, planning to conquer a few more shadow dimensions.
Too lazy to wait for Mordo and the others this time, Luke went straight for single pulls. After nearly twenty pulls, he got two lesser dimensions, thirteen micro dimensions, and five dead coordinates, finally gathering the energy he needed.
While waiting for the Shadow Legion to clear the dungeons, Luke flipped through the book in his hands.
Odin really did care about appearances. At first, Luke had thought the book contained at least a thousand coordinates, enough to keep him mining for ages. Instead, a single coordinate took up several pages. Couldn't he learn from the Ancient One?
Look at someone else's big shot. Not only is she bald (scratch that).
Not only is she Earth's guardian, she's hardworking and practical. She single-handedly revised all five thousand-plus spellbooks at Kamar-Taj into new editions, and even the coordinate book she gave me was packed with writing, without wasting a scrap of paper.
Your book looked so thick at first that I thought it contained loads of coordinates, but it turned out to be a whole ocean of padding. Every coordinate lists its discovery date and discoverer, and you even remember to tack on a few lines praising how wonderful you are.
A showman was a showman, but even if he put this coordinate book, as thick as a Xinhua Dictionary, over a fire to boil off the padding, it still contained over a hundred coordinates. Even with some dead ones among them, it was worth over ten million dark energy.
After waiting a while for the Shadow Legion to finish clearing the dungeons, Luke told them to take all the loot straight to Kamar-Taj, then headed off to Thor.
Although Odin had said he wanted to test Loki, Luke had no idea how he intended to do it. What if Loki still sent the Destroyer over?
Thor had awakened his divine power, but what if something else went wrong?
The fights against the Abomination and Whiplash bosses had not followed the movie plots, and Luke could not guarantee there would be no strange changes this time either.
By the time he had farmed up his energy cap, it was noon. Luke drew a circle and went straight into town.
Come to think of it, where were Jane and the others staying?
Thor had undoubtedly followed Jane, but Luke still did not know where she lived.
He was about to send Ninja Soldiers to search the town when several oddly dressed people swaggered past him.
What a coincidence. Luke smiled at the sight of "Uncle Jackie," Robin Hood, and Thena among them.
The "upright and impartial" Heimdall had let this group through so they could find Thor and persuade him to return to Asgard, because not long before, Loki had visited Jotunheim, the Frost Giants' homeland.
But Loki had deliberately blocked Heimdall's sight, keeping him from knowing what Loki had done there.
A true king would disdain such petty tricks.
Deep down, Heimdall looked down on someone like Loki, who only knew how to scheme, but he was still very worried about Thor on Earth.
Thor still had no idea that his brother had begun entertaining thoughts he should not have.
As a supporter of Thor, Heimdall decided to let Thor's little followers tell him what had happened in Asgard. Naturally, he also found a way around the new king's order forbidding him from sending anyone to Earth.
I, Heimdall, was drinking in a tavern at the time. Everyone around me can testify to that. I certainly didn't open the Bifrost to send anyone through. I have a solid alibi.
Meanwhile, Luke followed the group through town for a while before finding Thor, who was happily playing a duo match with Jane.
"Damn you! How dare you mock me, Thor! I'll kill you a hundred times!"
Thor muttered away, his fingers constantly sliding across his phone screen.
"Thor has encountered an enemy!" Volstagg shouted.
Fandral took a closer look. "He's roaring at that little box in his hands. The enemy must be inside!"
"It must be a Midgardian sorcerer. I've heard Asgard's sorcerers say that Midgardian sorcerers possess unusual abilities!" Hogun added the final word.
Sif wanted to say something, but Volstagg had already charged forward.
"Accursed sorcerer! How dare you torment Thor!"
A precise swing of his axe split the phone in Thor's hands without so much as scratching Thor. Luke nodded from his hiding place. The fellow's martial skills were decent. Although they could not compare to the Shadow Ninjas' pinnacle skills, they were still something to be proud of.
"Well done, Volstagg! The four boars, six pheasants, and that cow that sacrificed itself for you in your belly would be proud!"
Fandral stepped forward and added a few sword strikes. Hogun, finding their efforts inadequate, swung his war hammer and smashed the phone to pieces.
Thor had been completely focused on the game, right in the middle of a crucial team fight, when his phone turned into a pile of dust.
Damn it!
With no time to talk to Asgard's Three Idiots, Thor ran over to Jane. He watched as his team inevitably lost the team fight because he had gone AFK, then lost their base in the same push.
"Hey! Thor, we've finally found you again!"
Volstagg ran forward excitedly, but lightning surged all over Thor, electrocuting Volstagg the moment he touched him and dropping him to the floor.
"I was engaged in a sacred duel with my enemies! What were you doing?"
That was my promotion match!
Besides, we haven't even been apart for a day. Why are you acting like it's been months?
Lightning flashed in Thor's eyes as he stepped forward and grabbed Volstagg by the collar.
"I thought you'd encountered an enemy. Speaking of which, how can you summon lightning without your hammer?"
Thor had not tried to kill him, so Volstagg remained conscious and even asked him a question in return.
"I'm the god of thunder, not the Hammer God. Why wouldn't I be able to release lightning without my hammer?"
Thor tossed Volstagg onto a nearby chair, only for Volstagg to crush it beneath him.
"My heavens, you need to lose weight," Thor said with a frown.
Sif walked into the room helplessly. Looking at Fandral and Hogun, who dared not make a sound for fear Thor might electrocute them too, she sighed.
"Thor, calm down. We have something important to discuss!"
Thor had been furious just now, but he was still extremely happy to see his friends and followers.
"Why have you suddenly come to Earth?"
Sif stepped forward. "We want you to return to Asgard immediately!"
Thor frowned and glanced back at Jane, and at the phone in her hands.
"Father banished me. Until I earn his forgiveness, I will not return to Asgard."
Saying one thing while meaning another, Thor turned away so his friends would not see his guilty eyes.
"But the Allfather fell into slumber shortly after you left, and with the queen's support, Loki became Asgard's acting king!" Sif said urgently, afraid Thor did not understand how serious this was.
But.
Loki's taken the throne! Wonderful!
Thor showed no sign of anxiety or anger. After all, he was a diehard Loki fan!
Besides, after getting that little device last night, he had tried other games, including a particularly hardcore strategy management game that had left his head spinning.
If becoming king meant facing similar things every day, he would probably die of exhaustion before Asgard fell.
Rather than being a king in the rear, he still preferred to be a soldier charging into battle.
"Loki is better suited to being king than I am."
Thor turned to Sif and spoke earnestly, afraid they would drag him back and force him to deal with state affairs and all that.
Looking into Thor's eyes, Sif knew he meant it, but she found it hard to accept. She had broken the new king's prohibition and followed three idiots all the way here to find Thor, yet Thor did not want to return to Asgard.
While Sif was agonizing over this, Thor spotted Luke outside the door.
"Hey, Uncle!"
"Yes, my good nephew? What is it?"
Luke walked in with a smile.
Thor scratched his head sheepishly and pointed at the phone's remains on the floor. "My phone got smashed. Could you buy me a new one?"
Uncle?
Asgard's Three Idiots and Sif were stunned by the greeting. Why did Thor have an uncle they had never heard of?
"Thor? Since when did you have an uncle?"
Volstagg tugged at the hem of Thor's clothes and asked quietly.
"He's the sworn brother my father took yesterday. That does make him my uncle."
Yesterday?
Asgard's Three Idiots instantly grew wary.
Thor might not know, but how could they not?
The Allfather had fallen asleep yesterday, and the queen had remained constantly at his side to care for him. How could he have sworn brotherhood with a Midgardian yesterday?
Thor had only just arrived in Midgard. This fellow must have tricked him!
The three exchanged glances, then prepared to attack Luke in tacit agreement.
But Luke waved a hand, and a vast swath of shadows turned into ninjas, surrounding them completely. Countless blades held them captive; the slightest movement would draw blood.
"Are all of you this stupid?" Luke glanced at Sif, who was itching to act.
Good grief, birds of a feather really do flock together. The moment I mention my identity, they all want to take a swing at me. Just what you'd expect from Thor's followers. Do they all think the same way too?
Sif silently moved her hand away from the spear on her back and gave an awkward smile.
"I imagine that if His Majesty the Allfather swore brotherhood with you, he must have given you something as proof."
Finally, someone who isn't a brute. Just how low is the average Asgardian IQ?
Luke took the token Odin had given him from a Ninja Soldier, feeling rather speechless. The thing was fairly large, and hanging it at his waist always felt like carrying the keys to an entire building in Guangdong. It was terribly uncomfortable.
"Do I have to take this thing out first every time I tell an Asgardian who I am? Don't you have some kind of smart identification system that can recognize people?"
For a "divine race" that had developed for tens of thousands of years, they really had put all their tech-tree points into The Croods next door.
Sif gave an awkward smile, but sensing the unmistakable aura of the Allfather on the token made her feel there might be more to this.
Wasn't His Majesty supposed to be asleep? How could he be out here swearing brotherhood with a Midgardian? And if he wasn't asleep, why wasn't he doing anything about Loki?
Luke waved for the Ninja Soldiers to release Asgard's Three Idiots, then disdainfully pushed aside Thor, who had come over to plead for them.
Honestly, even bothering to argue with these fellows felt beneath him.
Just as Luke was about to find a chair and rest, a sudden clamor came from outside the window...
Before you continue