Chapter 31

The Ferris wheel in the distance had already lit up in colorful lights, turning slowly round and round.

From here, they could still hear the screams of people on the roller coaster as it plunged down.

Zhou Jingcheng was still looking for a VIP parking spot, while Shi Jihan was already itching to go, poised in a runner's starting stance as he waited for the instant the car door opened.

Zero-Zero-Zero suddenly realized: [Host, you aren't using public funds for personal enjoyment because you wanted to come play at the amusement park, are you?]

Shi Jihan smiled shyly: [What nonsense are you talking about? Am I that kind of person?]

[No,] Zero-Zero-Zero said. [You're not a person.]

Shi Jihan cursed under his breath.

But cursing at an egg couldn't slow down his sprint. The moment Zhou Jingcheng parked, he charged out with the Paws-Tucked Emperor.

"Go, go, go!"

"Wer, wer, wer!"

Before Zhou Jingcheng had even pulled up the handbrake, the car was empty.

Only the swinging car door remained, fanning him back and forth.

Zhou Jingcheng's silence was longer than his life: "..."

Why did he suddenly have the illusion that he was raising two beagles?

What a terrifying illusion.

But when he was dragged onto the roller coaster, Zhou Jingcheng realized that maybe it wasn't an illusion after all.

He sat in the middle. Pizza had a little seat of his own, while he and Shi Jihan flanked Zhou Jingcheng on either side.

When the roller coaster started moving, both man and dog were thrilled.

At this point, Zhou Jingcheng remained calm. Afraid Pizza might have an adverse reaction, he kept a close eye on him.

When the roller coaster accelerated, man and dog screamed excitedly.

Shi Jihan: "Aaaahhh!"

Pizza: "Werwerwer!"

Zhou Jingcheng silently covered his ears amid the howling wind.

When the roller coaster plunged straight down, man and dog screamed around him.

Shi Jihan: "Aaaaaaaahhh!"

Pizza: "Werwerwerwerwerwer!"

On the track that stood ninety degrees perpendicular to the ground, Zhou Jingcheng blanked out and enjoyed the 3D surround sound. He felt that dying face-first into the ground wouldn't be so bad.

When the roller coaster spiraled through turn after turn, man and dog screamed with abandon.

Shi Jihan: "Werwerwerwerwerwerwer!"

Pizza: "Werwerwerwerwerwerwer!"

As the roller coaster slowly came to a stop, Shi Jihan looked at the silent Zhou Jingcheng beside him. "Why didn't you scream at all?"

Zhou Jingcheng spoke. "From time to time, the high gibbons gave long cries, their calls lingering and mournful. Their echoes traveled through empty valleys, lingering sadly for a long while before fading."

This was where the delayed effect of Chinese class showed itself. Today, he finally understood the profound meaning of that classical text—understood it completely and thoroughly.

A hand reached over and felt his forehead.

"Oh my God, Xiao Zhou, did that scare you stupid?"

"Worse than that," Zhou Jingcheng said, closing his eyes peacefully. "A bullet from many years ago hit me right between the brows."

[Ding, Malice Points +8]

Shi Jihan: o-O?

What a weird lunatic. He gave Zhou Jingcheng a disgusted look and dragged Pizza away.

He did not forget to ask the photographer whether he had captured any suitable photos.

Looking at the photo of a man and dog screaming with their mouths wide open in matching poses, the photographer sent back an OK.

[Suitable. Extremely suitable. They're even a matching couple set.]

Not everyone could open their mouths that wide, like a heavenly dog swallowing the sun.

Before they moved on to the next ride, the photographer hurried to export the pictures for editing.

First, he edited out the unlucky guy in the middle covering his ears. Then he began reconstructing the Dog Emperor's face, manually reshaping his body, adding some hair, and putting on a little makeup.

A beagle transformed into a pure, innocent beauty.

Well, there was no need to edit the employer's face. With his head thrown back and mouth open, his features could not be seen anyway. All that showed were his tonsils.

For the second attraction, Shi Jihan charged toward the water rapids ride.

The beginning was fine, but later there was an extremely thrilling stretch of consecutive plunging turns. The current was incredibly fast, and quite a few people ahead were falling into the water like dumplings.

Wearing life jackets, Shi Jihan swayed from side to side in the tiny raft and clung tightly to Zhou Jingcheng.

"Aaaahhh, Zhou Jingcheng! I'm scared!" His arms and legs wrapped tightly around the other man.

Zhou Jingcheng held Pizza in his arms, with Shi Jihan wrapped around him on the outside as well. Under the double pressure, he could barely breathe and struggled to squeeze out a sentence. "If you're scared... why are you riding this?!"

His voice was nearly drowned out by the roaring water.

Shi Jihan clung around his neck and refused to let go even if he died. He shouted back, "The point is to be scared!"

As soon as the words fell, the raft tipped straight into a plunge!

"Help!"

Shi Jihan nearly bounced out of the raft. Terrified, he hurried to grab the rope and released Zhou Jingcheng.

Zhou Jingcheng reached out to catch him. Their fingers barely hooked together in midair, but they were soaked and too slippery. After struggling uselessly a few times, they still slipped apart.

Zhou Jingcheng fell into the water before him. He had swallowed two mouthfuls before he could even sit up.

"Aaaaaahhh!"

Shi Jihan dropped from the sky.

Landing ass-first, he shoved Zhou Jingcheng right back into the water.

Zhou Jingcheng cursed, "I %&% glug glug... Shi Jihan ooOoOo°... &% fuck!"

[Ding, Malice Points +10!]

Shi Jihan hurriedly pulled him up. "Sorry, sorry! Are you okay?"

Zhou Jingcheng wiped his face and sat there questioning his life.

Why had he come here to suffer like this?

Oh. Shi Jihan had invited him.

Did he have to come just because Shi Jihan invited him?

Why? Who said so?!

After the two came out of the drying room, Shi Jihan quietly contacted the photographer to ask whether he had gotten any shots.

[Photographer: No. This time was too difficult. You were both wearing disposable raincoats, so nothing could be photographed.]

Fine, then they were still missing a lot of material.

Shi Jihan saw Dianjia Bro sitting listlessly on a bench, his hair hanging completely limp. He looked even more dispirited than a dejected Little Beagle.

He sat at the other end of the bench and scooted over bit by bit until their thighs were pressed together. Then he raised a hand and poked Zhou Jingcheng's shoulder. "Um, how about we eat dinner first and talk about the other rides later?"

"No." Zhou Jingcheng gazed up at the sky at a forty-five-degree angle, letting sorrow flow upstream into a river.

"I'm full from drinking."

Shi Jihan felt sad and apologetic for Zhou Jingcheng's ordeal. Spotting an ice cream stand in the distance, he carried Pizza over to line up. When it was his turn, he leaned against the ice cream truck window and asked, "Boss, do you have matcha flavor?"

Dianjia Bro seemed to like that flavor quite a lot. He had eaten plenty of it last time.

He really was thoughtful.

The owner said, "Yes. Do you only want matcha?"

Shi Jihan said, "And one mint chocolate chip!"

The matcha one was finished first. Carrying Pizza was too tiring for Shi Jihan, so he put him on the flower bed by the roadside and stood there obediently waiting for his own ice cream.

Pizza glanced at the ice cream in his hand, which was starting to melt.

Then he looked again, his little black bean eyes rolling.

The next second, the wavy-haired dog head crept sneakily toward the ice cream, his tongue striking with precision—"Slurp!"

Once both ice creams were ready, Shi Jihan dashed back to Zhou Jingcheng and handed him the matcha cone. "Eat quickly, it's going to melt."

Zhou Jingcheng had barely regained a little life force. He accepted it. "Thanks."

He did not really like sweet things; they felt cloying in his throat. But matcha was indeed alright, not overly sweet or rich.

Zhou Jingcheng took a bite off the tip of the cream.

The weather was too hot, and the ice cream melted quickly. Matcha cream slowly slid down the edge of the cone. Zhou Jingcheng pulled out a tissue and wiped the sticky cream from his fingertips.

Just as he was about to crumple the tissue and toss it into the trash, the corner of his eye caught a suspicious streak of cream green.

Zhou Jingcheng slowly lowered his head and met Pizza's gaze as he sat on the ground.

Pizza stuck out his tongue and gave him a smile.

There was still matcha cream around his mouth that he had not licked clean. "Werwerwer!"

No need to thank me, human. I tried it for you in advance.

Very calmly—extremely calmly—Zhou Jingcheng rotated the cone half a turn and, sure enough, saw the lick marks.

Ha. He knew it.

The life force Zhou Jingcheng had just regained instantly dropped back to zero.

[Ding, Malice Points +3]

What happened? Shi Jihan, who was remotely directing the photographer, immediately turned around to look at Dianjia Bro.

Honestly, what a handful. In just a moment, he had earned himself another thirty thousand yuan.

But he discovered that Dianjia Bro was looking at him too, and there was actually a trace of grievance in those phoenix eyes.

Zhou Jingcheng said, "Shi Jihan, how could you let the dog lick my ice cream?"

Shi Jihan froze. "Huh? I didn't."

Following Zhou Jingcheng's accusing gaze, he saw the ice cream with a bite missing, then the cream at the corner of Pizza's mouth.

"Pizza!!" Shi Jihan covered his face and wailed, his expression twisting into a famous painting. "What have you done?!"

Pizza proudly puffed out his chest. "Werwerwer!"

What crime have I committed?

Shi Jihan's fists clenched. With a thunk, he gave Pizza a smack on the head.

Pizza let out a "Wuu~," then locked onto the remaining half of the ice cream in Zhou Jingcheng's hand and pounced, swallowing it in one bite!

He licked his lips in satisfaction. "Wer!"

Tasty!

Zhou Jingcheng silently stared at the cone in his hand, which now had only the point left, and closed his eyes.

Peace leads to distance; doing nothing saves oneself.

It was only an ice cream. There was nothing to fuss over.

Yes, the Buddhist son of the Beijing elite circle should be this detached and elegant, his emotions unmoved by external things.

He opened his eyes.

But Pizza really deserved to die!

Zhou Jingcheng crushed the pointed end of the cone in his hand.

Pizza sensed his killing intent early. Before either man could react, his four paws skidded as he turned around and bolted.

Shi Jihan, still holding the retractable leash: "Huh? Huh?!"

One second earlier, he had been pulling out his phone to scan the code and buy Zhou Jingcheng another one, while Zero-Zero-Zero lavishly praised him as [The Growth History of a Miserly Rooster]. The next second, he leaped up like a charging tiger, a swift wolf, a nimble leopard, and launched into a thousand-meter fitness test.

"Stop! Stop right there!!"

His unyielding shout echoed over the entire amusement park.