Chapter 31

The Ferris wheel in the distance had already lit up in colorful lights, turning slowly round and round.

From here, they could still hear the screams of people on the roller coaster as it plunged downward.

Zhou Jingcheng was still looking for a VIP parking spot, while Shi Jihan was already raring to go, crouched in a runner's starting stance as he waited for the instant the car door opened.

000 suddenly realized: [Host, you're not abusing public funds because you wanted to come to the amusement park yourself, are you?]

Shi Jihan smiled shyly: [What nonsense are you talking about? Would I do that?]

[No,] 000 said. [You're not a person.]

Shi Jihan cursed under his breath.

But cursing an egg couldn't slow down his sprint. The moment Zhou Jingcheng parked, he charged out with the Paws-Tucked Emperor.

"Go, go, go!"

"Wer, wer, wer!"

Zhou Jingcheng hadn't even pulled up the handbrake before the car was empty.

Only the swaying car door remained, fanning him.

Zhou Jingcheng's silence was longer than his life: "..."

Why did he suddenly have the illusion that he'd raised two Beagles?

What a terrifying illusion.

But when he was dragged onto the roller coaster, Zhou Jingcheng realized it might not have been an illusion after all.

He sat in the middle. Pizza had his own little seat, and together with Shi Jihan, they flanked him from both sides.

When the roller coaster started moving, one man and one dog were incredibly excited.

At that point, Zhou Jingcheng was still calm. Worried Pizza might have an adverse reaction, he kept a close eye on him.

When the roller coaster accelerated, one man and one dog screamed excitedly.

Shi Jihan: "Aaaahhh!"

Pizza: "Wer, wer, wer!"

Zhou Jingcheng silently covered his ears amid the howling wind.

When the roller coaster suddenly plunged, one man and one dog screamed in surround sound.

Shi Jihan: "Aaaahhhhhhh!"

Pizza: "Werwerwerwerwerwer!"

On the track that stood at a ninety-degree angle to the ground, Zhou Jingcheng went blank as he enjoyed the 3D surround sound. He felt that dying face-first on the ground might not be so bad.

When the roller coaster spiraled through turn after turn, one man and one dog screamed without restraint.

Shi Jihan: "Werwerwerwerwerwerwer!"

Pizza: "Werwerwerwerwerwerwer!"

When the roller coaster slowly came to a stop, Shi Jihan looked at the silent Zhou Jingcheng beside him. "Why didn't you scream at all?"

Zhou Jingcheng finally spoke. "At times the high gibbons gave long cries, their calls drawn out and mournful, echoing through empty valleys before lingering endlessly."

This was where the delayed impact of Chinese class showed itself. Today, he had finally understood the profound meaning of that classical text—understood it completely and thoroughly.

A hand reached over and felt his forehead.

"Oh my god, Xiao Zhou, did you get scared stupid?"

"Worse than that." Zhou Jingcheng closed his eyes peacefully. "A bullet from years ago hit me square between the eyebrows."

[Ding, Malice Points +8]

Shi Jihan: o-O?

What a weird lunatic. He shot Zhou Jingcheng a disgusted look and dragged Pizza away.

He didn't forget to ask whether the photographer had gotten any suitable pictures.

The photographer looked at the photos, where one man and one dog had their mouths open in identical screams, then sent back an OK.

[Suitable. Very suitable. They're even matching couple styles.]

Not just anyone could open their mouth that wide on a day when heaven and dog ate the sun.

Before they moved on to the next attraction, the photographer hurriedly exported the pictures to edit them.

First, he photoshopped out the unlucky guy in the middle who was covering his ears. Then he started reconstructing the Dog Emperor's face, manually slimming his body, adding some hair, and putting on some makeup.

A Beagle transformed into an innocent beauty.

Mm, there was no need to edit the employer's face. With his head thrown back and mouth open, his features couldn't be seen anyway—only his tonsils.

Shi Jihan charged toward the water rafting ride for their second attraction.

The beginning was fine, but later there was an extremely thrilling stretch of continuous plunging turns. The current was incredibly fast, and plenty of people ahead were falling into the water like dumplings.

Wearing a life jacket, Shi Jihan swayed from side to side in the tiny raft and clung tightly to Zhou Jingcheng.

"Aaaahhh, Zhou Jingcheng! I'm scared!" His hands and feet wrapped tightly around the other man.

Zhou Jingcheng held Pizza in his arms, with Shi Jihan wrapped around him from the outside too. Under the double pressure, even breathing was difficult. He squeezed out with difficulty, "If you're scared... why are you riding this?!"

His voice was nearly drowned out by the crashing water.

Shi Jihan clung to his neck and refused to let go even if he died, shouting back, "That's exactly why I'm riding it—I want to be scared!"

As soon as he finished speaking, the raft dove straight down!

"Help!"

Shi Jihan nearly got bounced out of the raft. Frightened, he hurriedly grabbed for the rope and let go of Zhou Jingcheng.

Zhou Jingcheng reached out to catch him. Their fingers barely hooked together in midair, but they were too wet and slippery. After struggling futilely for a few moments, they still slipped apart.

Zhou Jingcheng fell into the water before him. He swallowed two mouthfuls before he could even sit up.

"Aaaahhhhh!"

Shi Jihan fell from the sky.

His butt planted squarely on Zhou Jingcheng, pushing him back into the water.

Zhou Jingcheng started cursing. "I %&% glug glug... Shi Jihan ooOoOo°... &% fuck!"

[Ding, Malice Points +10!]

Shi Jihan hurriedly pulled him up. "Sorry, sorry! Are you okay?"

Zhou Jingcheng wiped his face and sat there questioning his life.

Why had he come here to suffer like this?

Oh, Shi Jihan had invited him.

Did he have to come just because Shi Jihan invited him?

Why? Who said so?!

After the two came out of the drying room, Shi Jihan quietly contacted the photographer to ask whether he'd captured anything.

[Photographer: No. This one was too difficult. You were both wearing disposable raincoats, so nothing could be photographed.]

Fine. They were still missing a lot of material.

Shi Jihan saw Dianjia Bro sitting listlessly on a bench, his hair completely drooping down. He looked even more dejected than a gloomy little Beagle.

Shi Jihan sat at the other end of the bench and inched closer bit by bit until their thighs were pressed together. He raised a hand and poked Zhou Jingcheng's shoulder. "Um, how about we eat dinner first and talk about the other rides later?"

"No." Zhou Jingcheng gazed at the sky at a forty-five-degree angle, letting his sorrow flow backward into a river.

"I'm full from drinking."

Chapter 31

Shi Jihan felt sad and apologetic for Zhou Jingcheng's ordeal. Seeing an ice cream stand in the distance, he carried Pizza over to line up. When it was his turn, he leaned against the ice cream truck window and asked, "Boss, do you have matcha flavor?"

Dianjia Bro seemed to like that flavor quite a bit. He'd eaten a lot of it last time.

I'm really thoughtful.

The owner said, "Of course. Do you only want matcha?"

Shi Jihan said, "And a mint chocolate!"

The matcha cone was ready first. Carrying Pizza was too tiring, so Shi Jihan put him on a roadside flower bed and stood there obediently waiting for his own ice cream.

Pizza glanced at the ice cream in his hand, which had begun to melt.

Then he looked at it again and rolled his little black-bean eyes.

The next second, the wavy-haired dog head sneaked toward the ice cream, tongue striking with perfect precision—"Slurp!"

Once both ice creams were ready, Shi Jihan ran back to Zhou Jingcheng and handed him the matcha cone. "Hurry and eat it. It's going to melt."

Zhou Jingcheng had barely recovered a little life force. He took it. "Thanks."

He didn't really like sweet things; they made his throat feel cloying. But matcha was indeed alright, not overly sweet or rich.

Zhou Jingcheng took a bite off the tip of the cream.

The weather was too hot, and the ice cream melted quickly. Matcha cream slowly slid down the edge of the cone. Zhou Jingcheng pulled out a tissue and wiped the sticky cream from his fingertips.

Just as he was about to crumple the tissue and toss it into the trash, the corner of his eye caught a suspicious trace of matcha green.

Zhou Jingcheng slowly lowered his head and met Pizza's eyes as he sat on the ground.

Pizza stuck out his tongue and gave him a smile.

There was still matcha cream around his mouth that he hadn't licked clean. "Werwerwer!"

No need to thank me, human. I helped you taste it first.

Zhou Jingcheng calmly, very calmly, turned the cone halfway around. Sure enough, he saw the lick marks.

Haha. He knew it.

The life force Zhou Jingcheng had just regained instantly dropped back to zero.

[Ding, Malice Points +3]

What happened? Shi Jihan, who was remotely directing the photographer, immediately turned to look at Dianjia Bro.

What a worry. In just a moment, he'd earned himself another thirty thousand yuan.

But then he discovered that Dianjia Bro was looking at him too, and there was actually a hint of grievance in those phoenix eyes.

Zhou Jingcheng said, "Shi Jihan, how could you let the dog lick my ice cream?"

Shi Jihan froze. "Huh? I didn't."

Following Zhou Jingcheng's accusing gaze, he saw the bite missing from the ice cream, then the cream at the corner of Pizza's mouth.

"Pizza!!" Shi Jihan covered his face and howled, his expression twisting into a famous painting. "What have you done?!"

Pizza proudly puffed out his chest. "Werwerwer!"

What crime had I committed?

Shi Jihan's fist immediately hardened, and he gave Pizza a solid thump on the head.

Pizza let out a "Woo~," then locked onto the half-eaten ice cream still in Zhou Jingcheng's hand and pounced, swallowing it in one bite!

He licked his lips contentedly. "Wer!"

Tasty!

Zhou Jingcheng silently stared at the cone in his hand, which now had only its tip left, and closed his eyes.

Tranquility led to wisdom; nonaction carried one across.

It was only an ice cream. There was nothing worth arguing over.

Yes, that was how the Buddhist son of the Beijing elite should be—calm and elegant, with emotions unmoved by worldly things.

He opened his eyes.

But Pizza really deserved to die!

Zhou Jingcheng crushed the tip of the cone in his hand.

Pizza sensed his killing intent in advance. Before either of them could react, his four paws skidded as he spun around and bolted.

Shi Jihan, still holding the retractable leash, went, "Eh? Eh!"

One second earlier, he'd been taking out his phone to scan the code and buy Zhou Jingcheng another one, lavishly praised by 000 as [The Growth History of a Stingy Rooster]. The next second, he leaped up like a charging tiger, a fierce wolf, a nimble leopard, and launched into a thousand-meter fitness test.

"Stop! Stop right there!!"

His unyielding cries echoed through the entire amusement park.