As Long as I Take Off My Coat, Who Would Know I'm Wearing Glowing Underwear?

Ye pinched two pairs of fluorescent green underwear and waved them through the air.

The green light cast Obito and Asuma's faces in a sickly shade of green.

Obito stared at those two clusters of green light, his Adam's apple bobbing hard.

He looked at the bottomless darkness ahead, then at the deadly things in Ye's hands.

For the sake of showing off tomorrow, and so he would never have to touch anything indescribable again.

I'm doing it!

Gritting his teeth, he reached down to pull them over his legs.

"Wait!"

Asuma suddenly darted over from the side and firmly grabbed Obito's wrist.

His expression turned grave as he pointed at the Uchiha Gunbai clan crest on Obito's back, his voice trembling.

"Obito, are you sure you want to wear that thing with the Uchiha crest on your back?"

Obito froze instantly.

His mind buzzed.

He suddenly shuddered, instinctively turning to look at his back. His gaze then swept over to the hidden Sarutobi clan pattern on Asuma's collar.

The two exchanged a glance, and the air froze for half a second.

If anyone saw the Uchiha prodigy and the Hokage's son doing handstands in glowing green underwear in the middle of nowhere at night...

That would be a disgrace severe enough to wipe out a clan!

No words were needed. They instantly reached an understanding.

"Take them off!"

They spoke in unison.

Their movements were wild and swift.

Obito tore off his coat and stuffed it straight into the bushes by the road.

Asuma was even more decisive. He stripped off even the undershirt embroidered with the hidden Sarutobi pattern, leaving only a thin white inner garment.

Then, the two closed their eyes and, as if marching to their deaths, pulled the glowing underwear up from their feet.

Buzz!

Buzz!

The instant they put them on, two violent green beams erupted at once and shot into the sky.

The bushes and gravel within twenty meters were instantly illuminated in crystal-clear detail.

The blinding green light scared even the crickets in the grass into abruptly going silent.

Three clusters of green light stood side by side in the wilderness, delivering a visual impact that shattered the limits of human aesthetics.

Obito looked down at himself, and his pupils contracted sharply.

A white inner garment paired with fluorescent green underwear—this sight was ten thousand times more disgusting than getting kicked across the Training Ground by Guy earlier that day.

What an eyesore!

Asuma's lips trembled wildly, and his expression could no longer be described as merely "pained."

As the dignified Hokage's son, he now had a cluster of green light over his head, looking exactly like a cheap night lamp stuck by the roadside.

Ye stood three steps away with his hands in his pockets, leisurely admiring this masterpiece for the ages.

He snapped his fingers in satisfaction. This was a huge profit.

[Ding! Guard-Break Points from Obito Uchiha: +888!]

[Ding! Guard-Break Points from Asuma Sarutobi: +777!]

[...]

The numbers on the System Panel jumped wildly as shame sent the Guard-Break Points soaring.

"Let's go."

Ye lifted his chin. "Youth waits for no one."

Obito clenched his teeth and roared, "Go!"

Guy took the lead, and the three clusters of green light filed out after him.

Obito and Asuma ground their molars. They flipped over at the same time, braced themselves on their hands, and returned to their handstanding posture.

This time, their vision was completely clear, and no obstacle could hide from them.

With dazzling green light above them, the two sped through the darkness, frantically accelerating to catch up to Guy and Ye ahead.

The night grew darker still.

On a desolate alleyway outside Konoha.

A Genin in a kimono staggered forward along the wall.

Shimura Renya, born of the main branch, had spent half his life without managing to become a Chunin.

His ninjutsu was nothing special, but when it came to connections, his cousin Shimura Danzō's name could frighten half of Konoha in the shadows.

Relying on that relationship, he had lined his pockets in the Logistics Department. Not only had he secretly bought himself a private residence outside the village, but he had also kept a mistress.

At that moment, he let out a sour belch reeking of cheap sake.

Go back to the clan grounds?

No.

That yellow-faced hag only knew how to nag. His mistress was waiting for him tonight.

When he reached a secluded dead end, the alcohol surged up, and he suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to relieve himself.

Renya half-squinted through drunken eyes and looked around.

The area was silent. There was not a soul in sight.

Without a care, he boldly untied his waistband, hummed an off-key tune, leaned against the wall, and had just worked himself into the mood.

His muscles relaxed.

The floodgates opened.

At that very instant.

Whoosh!

A violent green light sliced across the alley entrance!

Might Guy raced forward on his hands, looking like a green meteor flying low across the ground.

The blinding green light instantly turned the dark alley into broad daylight, casting Renya's old face in a sickly green shade.

Renya shuddered violently from head to toe.

The flood that was about to burst through the dam was frightened back into the reservoir, and his bladder spasmed painfully.

His mind went blank. Clutching his pants tightly, he shrank into the corner, his eyes nearly popping out of their sockets.

"Th-this is Konoha's streetlamp becoming a demon?"

He rubbed his bloodshot eyes and craned his head toward the alley entrance.

It was empty. There was not even a cat.

"I drank too much. I definitely drank too much."

Renya cursed as he slapped his forehead, then turned back around.

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and worked himself into the mood again.

Scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape!

A dense burst of friction rapidly approached through the darkness.

Then, two even more dazzling green beams charged straight out of the alley entrance!

Obito and Asuma were sprinting at full speed on their hands.

The two green lights merged, shining as brightly as signal flares and blasting Renya's face from every angle.

Renya's legs gave out, and he collapsed onto the ground. Half his drunkenness was instantly scared away.

He stared blankly at the two upside-down "Green Lantern Ghosts" approaching him in glowing green underwear.

His mouth hung open, but not a single sound came from his throat.

At that moment, his entire worldview shattered into pieces.

Obito and Asuma were startled too, quickly flipping over and landing on their feet.

Taking a closer look, they saw a perverted drunk sprawled on the ground, his pants hanging halfway down and his face full of terror.

Obito's heart instantly leaped into his throat, while cold sweat broke out on Asuma's forehead.

In the dead of night, in the middle of nowhere, they had been doing handstands in glowing underwear.

If this drunk recognized them, tomorrow's top headline across the village would definitely be about the Hokage's son and the Uchiha boy's perverted fetish!

Who could possibly handle that?!

They absolutely could not let him recognize them!

The two exchanged a glance and instantly reached an understanding.

Asuma decisively stepped forward, planted his feet firmly, and raised his crossed hands.

Obito pushed off with his feet and heavily stepped his right foot into Asuma's palms.

"Up you go!"

Asuma thrust both hands upward, launching Obito into the air.

In midair, he became an enormous green light source radiating immense pressure.

Fueled by the fury of his guilty conscience, Obito straightened his right leg and launched a flying kick straight at Renya's face.

Renya looked up.

The enormous green light source rapidly expanded before his eyes.

His forehead was instantly lit green.

Bang!

The kick landed squarely on Renya's forehead, sending his eyes rolling back as he collapsed into the mud, completely motionless.

Obito landed steadily and dusted off his hands.

Asuma checked Renya's breathing. After confirming that he was still alive, he stood and smoothed his hair.

The two began coordinating their story with solemn expressions.

"Self-defense."

Obito looked completely serious.

"Punishing public urination and protecting Konoha's environment is everyone's responsibility."

Asuma nodded furiously.

Everything they had done was righteous. They definitely were not afraid of being recognized.

"The wind's up—run!"

Obito growled.

The two flipped back into handstands, fled the scene in a panic beneath their two clusters of green light, and rushed off to catch up with the group ahead.