Crazy Diamond, Part One

"Auntie, Fang, Fang~~" (soft background music)

Long, long ago, when the Douluo Continent was still shrouded in darkness, humans were weak. Spirit Beasts hunted and attacked them.

"Auntie, Fang, Fang~~" (soft background music)

Back then, most humans could not withstand a Spirit Beast attack. Every night, their villages became hunting grounds. This went on for ages. As humans fought off wave after wave of Spirit Beasts, their numbers dwindled. At one point, they nearly went extinct.

But! (A hat appeared. But!)

"I received a revelation from the divine being who descended upon us! Now I understand everything!" the red-haired man shouted to his tribe.

Click! (The camera suddenly pulled back.)

"The god has revealed the truth! Only by cleansing the souls of our people with Spirit Beast blood can we evolve! Everyone, you have to believe me! Oh, believe me!" the man went on.

"You bastard! Who is this god you're talking about?" the elders and young men asked in terror.

"Stop spouting nonsense! The Spirit Beast tide is coming. Another tribe is going to fall," someone said, slumping to the ground and shaking his head in despair.

"Your words are an insult to the god of Spirit Beasts! There's no need to fight fair with a lunatic like him! Everyone, get him!"

"Offer him as a sacrifice to the Spirit Beasts!"

"Fools! Philistines! You ignorant lot! Today I'll make you understand the path to evolution!"

That was the moment Soul Masters were born!

(A rousing opening theme from Part Two began.)

From the depths of silence,

The awakening pillars crossed through time.

Their crimson blood

Drew together the courage to rise!

The academy arc began in earnest!

"Hey! You lot, stop standing around!"

Flender descended from the sky. He folded his wings, planted his hands on his hips, and looked up sternly. At the sight of the academy's true boss, the others stopped fooling around. One after another, they struck poses: Jonathan's arched-back stance, Jotaro's hands-in-pockets stance, and Joseph's face-covering stance. Then they waited for Dean Flender to speak.

"Mubai, go into town and get a few sets of bedding. Pick up some spares, too. And on your way, ask the craftsman at the village entrance to come check whether there's anything wrong with the dormitory," Flender instructed.

"Oscar, help prepare lunch and dinner. It's the first day of term, so make something generous," Flender continued.

"Can we order in?" Oscar asked, his eyes lighting up.

"If you're paying," Flender said with a smile. Oscar immediately knew that was out of the question and headed straight for the kitchen.

"Hongjun, go with Jodio and see whether he can fix your Martial Soul. Give it your best, and don't shy away from the pain," Flender said, turning serious. On the way here, Jodio had told him what his latest Spirit Skill could do. This was a tremendous gamble. If it worked, Flender felt he would have no regrets where these students were concerned.

"Come on. Time for the final test." Jodio beckoned Ma Hongjun over.

"Yes, Prime Minister," Ma Hongjun said with a grin as he followed.

"Boss, think we'll get any new students this year?" Ma Hongjun asked as they walked.

"Who knows? It's like a student who's done nothing special all his life suddenly having a shot at becoming class president. Or pulling an SSR after 648 draws. Or using your free daily reward for a draw when you don't expect to win anything, then winning anyway. It could happen." Jodio shrugged.

By Jodio's reckoning, Dai Mubai should run into Tang the God King and Xiao Wu in town. But Dean Flender might not: he and Zhao Wuji would be helping Jodio shortly. That meant they would not get the sheet metal. Well, Jodio had already arranged to sell it to someone important in town anyway.

Jodio pictured a certain black-handed holy eagle's face replaced with Tang San's, followed by the classic line, "How can you be so selfish? Back off!" His quiet chuckle turned into a laugh, then into a fit he could not stop.

"Heh. Heh-heh-heh, gurarararara!" Jodio's laughter startled Ma Hongjun. For a moment, he thought his boss had lost his mind. Then Jodio abruptly stood straight and stopped laughing, his expression turning serious.

"Let's go. We'll make the final adjustment to your Martial Soul." Jodio folded his arms and strode ahead, looking supremely confident again.

"My Martial Soul isn't that important, but Boss... what's going on with your hair?" Ma Hongjun asked, pointing at it in confusion.

Jodio's Spirit Skills had made an absolute mess of his hairstyle. He had awakened Silver Chariot at Soul Power Level 5, so he could still keep it under control. Stone Free, which came at level 10, had given him fluorescent green highlights. At level 20, Gold Experience had added three doughnut curls to his forehead. And now? These Stands were getting more and more outrageous.

These days, a blue, star-patterned headband drew Jodio like chickens drew Hakimi, a pit latrine drew Hakiwang, or a pretty woman's hand drew Josuke!

Damn it! This was outright memetic contamination! Jodio could only curb the craving by wearing a headband at night. Worse still was Josuke's ridiculous pompadour. Damn it! Who would want anything to do with that hairstyle?

Every so often, Jodio's hair quietly began to bind itself together and gather into a pompadour. All he could do was check its reflection in his watch now and then to see whether it had changed. Sure, it looked good on Josuke, but Jodio could not accept it on himself!

Jodio figured that once his fifth Spirit Ring appeared, he would lose control of these restless hairstyles altogether. There went his beautiful blond hair. Wait—did that mean his moldy-pink octopus hairstyle might come back someday?

No light entered the little hut. Zhao Wuji and Teacher Shao Xin were already waiting inside. Zhao Wuji smiled and nodded when he saw Jodio, then immediately grew serious again. He had the two of them sit down and wait for Flender.

"Is everyone here?" Flender asked, striding briskly into the sunless hut.

"Good. Jodio, tell the other teachers your plan. Let's see how likely it is to succeed."

←To Be Continued

Gao Weis—JoJo! (A coin dropped. Transition music from Part Five played.)

Information currently available:

Level 40 Stand: Crazy Diamond

User: Jodio Joestar

Spirit Ring: Purple — five-thousand-year Gem Orchid Ribbonfish

Destructive power: A; speed: B+; range: D-; stamina: C; precision: C; development potential: A (increased)

Stand ability: Crazy Diamond used its extraordinary power to repair broken objects. Combined with its strength and speed, it could also break an object first, then repair or rearrange it, making it an unpredictable Stand in battle and a valuable fighting force. But every part of an object had to be present for it to be repaired. Crazy Diamond could not restore a piece that had vanished from the world.

If two pieces were far apart, its user could choose which piece traveled toward the other. This could be used to track a location, or its user could hold on to a moving piece to travel with it as the object was repaired.

Crazy Diamond could smash two objects and join them together when it reassembled them. It could restore objects to their raw materials and heal living beings, no matter how severe their injuries. But it could not heal its user, revive the dead, or remedy congenital defects—Jodio's chief concern. Its healing could take effect instantly.

If Josuke used this ability while in a bad mood, a target he struck might be twisted by an improper restoration. (Jodio intended to exploit this loophole.)