Three Ways to Be Unfilial, and Having No Government Job Is the Worst

"The spring below the waterfall is nice and cool! If you're coming, hurry up."

Sha Yi had only just thought to invite his old friend.

"But I... didn't bring swim trunks."

Shen Qi actually wanted to go.

He had grown up in the countryside, with a canal at the village entrance and Weishan Lake not far away. Swimming in the river and catching fish had been part of every summer.

"You're with a bunch of grown men! What do you need swim trunks for?"

Jiang Chao, who played Li Dazui, called out.

"What, afraid to show your bare ass?"

Sha Yi hadn't invited Yu Entai because Yu Entai was too shy and afraid to get in the water.

"Hell, if none of you are scared, why would I be?"

Shen Qi didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

He had even seen Sha Yi's backside before. When Sha Yi was filming Wrong Carriage, Right Groom, the director had tricked him into baring it.

And he really had bared it!

Every viewer had seen it.

The group strolled along, laughing and chatting without a care.

Before long, they reached a spot where they could swim.

Silver moonlight revealed a pond of modest size, its clear water gleaming beneath the moon.

The others clearly knew the place. As soon as they arrived, they stripped without a second thought, pushing their pants straight down.

Then they jumped in one after another with a string of splashes, like dumplings dropping into a pot.

Judging by how carefree they were, the pond probably held no danger.

Shen Qi didn't hesitate. He tossed aside his clothes and dove in.

After baking in the sun all day, the water was still pleasantly warm at night.

"Well, Xiao Ji? Feels good, doesn't it?"

Sha Yi asked, splashing the water.

Once everyone was naked, there was no telling the big stars from the small.

"He's no little Ji!"

Fan Ming's dry comment made everyone else fall silent.

Little Ji?

The moon was bright, and visibility was excellent.

They had all seen clearly when Shen Qi took off his pants.

That was one enormous pendulum!

Sha Yi couldn't bring himself to call him "Xiao Ji" again. Half envious and half curious, he asked, "Brother, what did you eat to grow like that?"

"Just call me Xiao Ji. Big or small, it works the same, right?"

Shen Qi didn't know how to answer.

He had no plans to become a gigolo.

And he didn't like discussing size with other people.

Back in school, he had often been teased for being too big. For a while, it had even made him self-conscious.

Only after growing up did he realize it was an advantage, something he could take pride in.

"Well, well. Where are you from, brother?"

Jiang Chao came closer, curious.

He had gained thirty pounds for his role, and when a man put on weight, that particular part looked even less impressive.

"Zaozhuang, Shandong..."

"Shandong, huh..."

As soon as he said it, the others' tones shifted subtly.

"Don't you have a Mistress Museum in Shandong?"

"Could you possibly mean a museum?"

In fact, the inscription on the Shandong Museum had been written by the celebrated Guo Moruo.

As calligraphy, it was a work of high quality.

Unfortunately, visitors unfamiliar with cursive script liked to joke that it read "Shandong Mistress Museum."

"I've heard you Shandong people care a lot about government jobs. Back in ancient times, one Shandong man even sold out 107 brothers to get one..."

"No way... Wait, are you talking about Water Margin?"

It wasn't the first time Shen Qi had heard that corny joke, but he played along and acted surprised.

He knew how to be a good straight man.

Sure enough, everyone burst out laughing.

"I also heard Shandong people's standard for a spouse is no criminal record within three generations."

"Why?"

"So it won't affect anyone in the family applying for a government job! A Shandong person without a government job is like a Westerner without Jerusalem!"

"That's not far off. People back home are obsessed with those jobs. They say, 'There are three ways to be unfilial, and having no government job is the worst.'" Shen Qi sighed. "I almost got one myself."

He had been carrying that bitterness with nowhere to let it out.

But with everyone soaking in the water without even their pants on, he suddenly felt like baring his soul too.

So Shen Qi told them what had happened.

It was awful!

Fucking awful!

Yet as they listened, the others kept struggling not to laugh.

Sha Yi, who cracked up easily, ducked his head underwater. A long stream of bubbles rose to the surface.

"Don't get discouraged. You could try applying to the National Theatre of China or Beijing People's Art Theatre. Those are proper permanent posts too, and you can get household registration. Once you've put in enough years, there's even a path to becoming a first-class actor..."

Fan Ming was from Shandong too.

His family hailed from Linyi, Shandong, though he had moved to Xuzhou as a child when his father left the military.

He understood Shen Qi's disappointment all too well. What Shandong native didn't have a soft spot for a secure government job?

Back home, when people gathered at New Year, the first questions were "Where do you work?" and "Is it a permanent position?" Then the conversation turned to national affairs.

If you weren't in the system, you couldn't get a word in even if you earned over ten thousand a month.

"Thank you, Mr. Fan."

Shen Qi expressed his gratitude.

But his feelings were complicated.

Was the National Theatre of China somewhere just anyone could get into?

He could barely secure his immediate future. How could he dare think that far ahead?

Still, many actors at the time had a theatre-troupe background:

Fan Ming came from the Jiangsu Nanjing Military Region Frontline Drama Troupe; Jiang Chao, Yan Ni, and Sha Yi belonged to the Air Force Political Department Drama Troupe; and Xiao Jian was with the Military Region Comrades Art Troupe.

"Don't call me Mr. Fan. You're the one who's actually a teacher! Do we look like teachers? Just call me Fan Ming."

Fan Ming had seen plenty of the world.

And when it came to rich women... he knew more than anyone.

A few years earlier, he had married a woman six years older than him.

She was divorced, had a child, and was worth over a hundred million.

A wise man stayed out of love—unless she was rich!

"Fan Ming, Sha Yi, Jiang Chao, Xiao Jian..."

Shen Qi addressed them one by one.

Only then did he truly become part of their little circle.

They had taken off their pants and dropped the formalities. One dip in the pond had brought them closer.

As long as their interests didn't clash down the road, these naked men soaking beside him would probably lend a hand whenever they could, provided it cost them nothing.

"You know Zhang Yi, right?"

Xiao Jian was loud and boisterous on screen, but quiet in real life.

He was plain-looking and only a little over five foot three. Perhaps he was somewhat self-conscious.

"Yeah. He's the one who gave me the information for this audition."

Shen Qi hadn't intended to bring it up.

He and Zhang Yi knew each other a little, but not well enough for Shen Qi to ask him for any major favors.

Much less Xiao Jian, whom he knew only through Zhang Yi.

His original plan had been simple: if he passed the audition, he would take the role. If he failed, he would look for the next opportunity.

If he happened to run into Zhang Yi or Xiao Jian someday, they could get properly acquainted then.

Having grown up in the countryside, Shen Qi was more sensitive about these things than most.

If he didn't want to be turned down, he wouldn't ask for a favor in the first place.

"Zhang Yi asked me to look out for you, but honestly, this production is so broke it pinches pennies on boxed lunches. What can I do for you?" Xiao Jian shook his head with a rueful smile. "We don't have a single big name. Everyone on this crew is down on their luck."

He had been delighted when he landed the role.

Then he joined the production, saw how things stood, and felt his heart sink. The crew really was broke!

Even though director Shang Jing spent every day rallying everyone and promising the show would be a hit, Xiao Jian still couldn't see much hope for it.

It made sense when he thought about it: Yan Ni had just divorced and was raising her child alone; Nie Yuan had taken the male lead opportunity from Sha Yi... Not one person in the cast had ever truly made it big.

They were all struggling, so who was in any position to look down on anyone else?

At first light the next day, Shen Qi was hauled out of bed.

The director thought he was holding up production.

That was right!

Holding up production!

On any set, that was a serious accusation.

Shen Qi felt miserable too.

But he knew he had indeed caused the most retakes yesterday.

He had to own it.

Besides, when the director said he was holding up the crew, his solution wasn't to replace Shen Qi. It was to get him up early to rehearse.

Seen that way... the director was being pretty decent!

That morning, they were filming the scene where Lü Xiucai "talked him to death."

Shen Qi had little screen time in it, but the scene was pivotal to the whole show. It was Lü Xiucai's moment to shine and the emotional peak of the entire sequence.

To make Lü Xiucai's triumph land, Shen Qi, as the supporting actor, had to fall hard enough to make an impact.

Shang Jing wasted no words. He took Shen Qi straight into the main hall and began rehearsing the scene.

And he taught more than movements and lines.

He went from how to perform the scene to why it had to be performed that way, demonstrating as he broke down the character's motives, the pacing, and even the emotional logic behind every line.

For Shen Qi, that morning's extra rehearsal was less a run-through than a thorough lesson in the anatomy of acting.

Only when filming began did he fully appreciate the importance of a good teacher.

There was a reason so many directors valued formal training.

Unfortunately, far too many formally trained actors were hopeless. They could spend years acting and still have no idea how to do it.