Great Sage Sun's Staff (Please Bookmark!)

After reading through the quests, Shen Bing couldn't help looking up and groaning. What kind of ridiculous game was this?

There was no starter equipment, not a single monster in sight, and no character stats panel. All he had were these bizarre-looking quests, and the damned things didn't even say what the rewards were.

How was he supposed to pick a suitable quest? This was just messing with him!

"All right, I'm a newbie, so I'd better forget about Great Sage Sun's quest. If I go looking for him while he's in a rage, who knows if he'll kill me with one swing of his Staff?"

One swing... and I'm dead! Shen Bing shuddered. He decided it would be best to stay well away from Great Sage Sun from now on.

"Maybe I'll try my luck and see which quest is easiest." As a veteran gamer, Shen Bing had no intention of standing around guessing.

"Is there auto-pathing? Doesn't look like it. How am I supposed to find these NPCs?... Wait, isn't this an island? Don't tell me it's a bug and I'm stuck on the map."

Shen Bing stared blankly at his phone Screen, wondering if he should uninstall the damned game.

Then he tapped one of the entries in the quest list without thinking, and a prompt immediately popped up.

"Teleport to the quest location?"

"Might as well try." Shen Bing had nothing better to do, so he tapped Confirm.

The image on the Screen suddenly changed. He was standing before the entrance to an old-fashioned hall. Only... it looked rather run-down, like a temple that no one worshipped at anymore.

The Plague God Hall? Makes sense. Who'd worship the Plague God if they didn't have to? People would be too busy avoiding him.

Shen Bing zoomed out and discovered that, at last, he was no longer on the island.

What bothered him was that there still wasn't another player in sight. Was this a single-player game?

"Hey, Bing! I'm in a lousy mood. Come work out with me." The voice came from the doorway—not his phone, but his dorm room door.

Shen Bing looked up. A big man with a crew cut stood there. Shen Bing glared at him and said, "My name's Shen Bing, not Bing! You're the little one. Your whole family's little."

The big man was Shen Bing's roommate, Wang Bo, a full-blooded Shandong giant.

Ordinarily, Wang Bo would have declared that the whole world knew how "big" he was. But he looked deflated today. He sighed, lay down on his bed, and didn't answer back.

"What happened? Weren't you meeting your future mother-in-law today? You're meeting her before we've even graduated. Your life's a lot more exciting than ours." Shen Bing kept his eyes on the game as he spoke.

At that, Wang Bo sprang up and snarled, "Bing, we can stay friends as long as you don't mention meeting her!"

Shen Bing's interest was piqued. He looked up. "Oh? Sounds like something painful happened. Tell me so I can have a laugh."

"Get lost..." Wang Bo glared at him with something of a Diamond Warrior's fury. It lasted all of a second before he wilted again. "It's a long story. That woman actually wants me, a real man and the only son in eight generations of my family, to marry into hers! Marry into her family... Damn it! I struck that phrase from my dictionary years ago."

Shen Bing froze for a moment, then burst out laughing.

It might not have been so funny if it had happened to anyone else. But asking Wang Bo, that fiercely macho Shandong giant, to marry into his wife's family? The image was priceless.

"Have you got no heart? I'm about to lose my mind, and you're laughing your head off?" Wang Bo looked ready to charge over and throttle him.

Shen Bing knew him too well. Wang Bo's misery never lasted half an hour. He had a track record.

"Then find someone else. This is your hundred and eighth relationship, after all. What's one more?"

"But I really admire the heroes of Liangshan! One hundred and eight is an auspicious number..."

"Uh..." Shen Bing decided to ignore the lunatic. Wang Bo was getting more ridiculous by the day.

Under Shen Bing's control, his character had already walked into the hall...

When Wang Bo saw that Shen Bing was ignoring him, he lay back down. He even pulled his mosquito net shut to ride out his half hour of heartbreak.

"Which fellow Daoist has come to visit?" A dialogue window, the kind found in any game, popped up on the Screen. It pointed deep into the hall. There was clearly an NPC inside.

How unoriginal.

Then a window appeared above Shen Bing's character as well, with a field waiting for him to enter text.

Can I talk directly to the NPC?

If so, the game really did have a selling point.

After all, games these days followed fixed dialogue scripts. At most, they offered players a few choices. Players just kept clicking the mouse or tapping the Screen. Who paid attention to what the characters said?

Shen Bing promptly typed a line into the dialogue box.

"I am the Great Sage Equal to Heaven!" It was a joke, of course.

But when Shen Bing tapped Confirm, dialogue boxes began popping up one after another on the Screen.

Clang...

Clatter, crash...

A figure stumbled out. He had protruding brows, sunken eyes, and a narrow forehead. His beady eyes darted around before settling on Shen Bing's character.

"Great Sage, is that... Great Sage?" A dialogue box appeared above his head.

"This humble Plague God pays his respects to the Great Sage."

"Great Sage... why have you changed your appearance?"

"How may I serve you, Great Sage?"

The fellow was babbling. Shen Bing suddenly felt a little guilty. Had claiming to be the Great Sage Equal to Heaven gone too far? He'd scared the Plague God out of his wits!

A moment later, Shen Bing began to wonder when games had gotten this smart. Had the programmers prepared a Great Sage Equal to Heaven dialogue path in advance?

I've got to test this properly!

"I'm bored out of my mind. If you have anything good, hurry up and offer it to me!"

He tapped Confirm.

Perhaps Shen Bing was imagining it, but as his character delivered those words, the expression and manner displayed on the Screen fit them perfectly. It was as though the character knew what Shen Bing was thinking.

The Plague God NPC's face fell. "Great Sage, I hold such a lowly position. What treasure could I possibly offer someone as exalted as you?"

Just then, a cat meowed somewhere behind the hall—or rather, the word meow appeared on the screen.

Shen Bing had an idea and quickly typed, "That cat's meow pleases me. Give me the cat!"

"Great Sage, you're asking for my life! Doudou means everything to me. She may be an ordinary Demon Beast, but she's tough! Giving her a beating now and then is my only entertainment." The Plague God NPC's face nearly crumpled in misery.

Shen Bing almost spat blood. This guy really was bored. Eat, sleep, beat Doudou...

"But... Doudou recently had a litter of Cat Demons. If you truly like cats, Great Sage, I could give you one of them." The Plague God looked uneasily at the ordinary-looking person before him. When the Great Sage Equal to Heaven came knocking, you had to give something up. Even Lord Lao wasn't spared, let alone a lowly Plague God like him.

Shen Bing's interest stirred. A Kitten Demon was still a demon cat. It ought to make a decent pet.

Anything from the Immortal Realm had to be top quality.

Who would have thought his first pet in this game would come from extortion?

He had never heard of a game that let you play this way.

"Then hurry up and bring it here!" Shen Bing was settling into the role of a bully quite nicely.

The Plague God NPC hadn't expected to get off so easily. He trotted away and soon returned holding a kitten, which he presented to Shen Bing.

"The Plague God wishes to trade with you. Accept?"

"Accept!"

A trade panel popped up, with a kitten in the trade slot. Shen Bing hit Confirm without a second thought.

And then... the kitten vanished from the Plague God's hands.

"Impressive technique, Great Sage!" the Plague God said, offering a little flattery.

It was rather insincere. Universe in the Sleeve wasn't considered an advanced spell in the Immortal Realm; practically everyone could do it. The one who wielded it best, though, was Immortal Zhenyuan, the Ancestor of Earthly Immortals.

"I hear you've been bored lately and want to make a friend?" Shen Bing typed, then opened his inventory to take a look.

Kitten Demon (unnamed): A newborn Kitten Demon with little magical power. Innate ability: Plague God's Possession. Causes a designated target to suffer repeated bad luck. Duration depends on the Cat Demon's magical power.

Shen Bing thought the innate ability was a rip-off. Weren't pets in games supposed to help fight monsters and other players? What use was making an opponent unlucky? Unless luck was extremely important in this Immortal Realm game?

A window popped up in the upper-right corner of the inventory. "The other immortals won't associate with me. I really am bored stiff."

"How about I become your friend?" Shen Bing figured he could keep stringing the Plague God along, so he closed the inventory panel.

Before the Plague God could answer, however, a window appeared in the lower-left corner of the Screen. "What fiend dares sully my name?"

A moment later, Shen Bing saw a Staff rapidly growing larger before his eyes. It struck his character...

"My first death..." Shen Bing could have racked his brains forever and never imagined he would die like this.

NPCs can attack players whenever they want? That's ridiculous. There has to be something more to it.

"You were killed by Sun Wukong. Choose: Revive in Place / Safe Revival."

The Screen had gone gray, and a monkey had leaped into view. Shen Bing wasn't stupid enough to choose Revive in Place. That would only get him killed again.

The monkey seemed to be talking to the Plague God, but no dialogue windows appeared now, so Shen Bing had no way to know what they were saying.

With no other choice, Shen Bing selected Safe Revival.

The scene changed, and Shen Bing found himself back in a familiar place: that little island.

"Got killed and sent back to town," Shen Bing muttered.