Kakashi: You Really Are the Worst!

Shinji looked up and smiled.

Hiruzen Sarutobi had finally had enough of the chaos. "Can someone tell me whether Danzo is alive or dead?" he roared.

The Medical Ninja exchanged glances. "Third Hokage, Elder Danzo is still alive. His body is weak and his mind is sluggish, but his soul can still sense the outside world. There's no doubt he's alive... Though his condition doesn't seem to have been caused by an outside force."

"If he's alive, what are you arguing about? Shut up, all of you! Quiet!"

Sarutobi barked the order, then glanced at Shinji Uchiha and gave him a nod, his expression complicated.

Shinji froze.

Then he rubbed his nose.

Well, look at that...

He even has to thank me for not finishing Danzo off.

Nearby, a Medical Ninja said helplessly, "Third Hokage, we were arguing because there are Foreign Cells in Elder Danzo's body. They're extraordinarily vigorous, but they don't seem human... They're what made him like this. The cells in his body have gone out of control..."

"..."

Sarutobi fell silent for a long time before sighing. "How do we treat him?"

"Well..."

"Is there a problem?"

The Medical Ninja said helplessly, "We've never dealt with cells like these... We have heard of them, though. They're from the First Hokage, Senju..."

"Uh... Perhaps Lady Tsunade could help?" The Medical Ninja saw Sarutobi's expression change, shuddered, and hurriedly swallowed the rest of his words.

Sarutobi stared at Danzo, who looked neither human nor ghost, and sighed again. "I understand. Your job is to keep him alive. Can you do that?"

"...We should be able to!"

"As for Tsunade, I'll think of something."

"Yes!"

Before long,

the Medical Ninja carried Danzo away on a stretcher.

At last, everyone's gaze fell on Shinji Uchiha, the man responsible for reducing Shimura Danzō to this state.

"Don't look at me."

Shinji said calmly, "I told you Elder Danzo had been secretly researching the First Hokage's cells all along. I didn't do anything to him. He brought this on himself."

"Perhaps Senior Orochimaru could treat him? He's accomplished quite a bit in this field too."

"..."

After having another old secret exposed in public, Hiruzen Sarutobi fell silent for a moment. "Enough, Shinji! Stop making snide remarks!"

"Oh..."

Shinji looked perfectly earnest. "I only meant to say what an excellent teacher the Third Hokage is. Princess Tsunade became the strongest Medical Ninja in the Shinobi World. Lord Jiraiya befriended the sages of Mount Myōboku and wanders the world, free as a bird. And Senior Orochimaru is something else entirely..."

"Enough!!!"

Sarutobi finally lost his temper. "Today's matter ends here! Whether Danzo lives or dies... no longer matters. Shinji, I hope you meant what you said earlier."

Shinji nodded.

He knew what Sarutobi meant.

"Of course. My personal grudge against Shimura Danzō will never involve Konoha or my clan. As I said, I've only ever had one goal: to make things better for the clan and for Konoha, to let both sides put aside their prejudices and truly come together..."

"Otherwise, I could have killed him just now to avenge my parents and Shisui. But hatred... won't solve anything."

Sarutobi finally breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad you can say that..."

"But!"

Shinji raised a finger. "I have one condition..."

The farcical meeting ended in haste.

No one was held accountable.

Shinji Uchiha, the new Clan Head of the Uchiha Clan, was recognized by all the major ninja clans in the village, and a new rule was established—

The Konoha Military Police Force would be passed down through the Uchiha Clan for generations!

But the police force would always remain part of Konoha!

Inside the office,

Hiruzen Sarutobi closed the Scroll of Seals and let out a long sigh.

"The Flying Thunder God Technique, the Multiple Shadow Clone Technique... He has those wicked eyes, and we know so little about them. Now he's even more dangerous!"

He looked at a photograph in the office. "Teacher... What should I do? I don't want a lifetime of work, everything our two generations have strived for, to be ruined by one wrong decision of mine."

"You said the Uchiha were an evil and dangerous clan. But if your approach of winning them over doesn't work, what else can I do?"

Sarutobi closed his eyes in anguish.

Beneath Hokage Rock,

Shinji carefully gathered the Sharingan he had removed from Danzo's arm, one by one, placing them in nutrient solution for safekeeping.

"That technique you used earlier... Was it the Lightning Blade?"

Shinji paused.

He looked up at Kakashi, who stood beneath a tree with his usual cool air, and smiled. "If you want to know, Senior Kakashi, spar with me and you'll find out."

"..."

After a long silence, Kakashi nodded slightly. "All right."

"?"

Shinji blinked.

That's not right. Why would Kakashi Hatake, Konoha's king of brooding, come looking for me on his own and, for once, agree to a spar?

"Uh, sorry. Could you give me a moment?"

"Mm."

Shinji finished packing, put the bottles into a Storage Scroll, and looked at Kakashi. "Shall we go to the Training Ground at the Uchiha Clan Compound?"

Kakashi paused. "Why?"

"Well..."

Shinji smiled thoughtfully. "There are too many eyes in the village. It wouldn't look good if someone saw an ANBU squad captain fighting the Uchiha Clan Head, would it? The Uchiha compound is far from the village center and nice and quiet. You're not worried I'm plotting something against you, are you, Senior Kakashi?"

"...Fine." Kakashi rolled his listless eye.

On the way,

Kakashi remained quiet.

Many Uchiha on the street were surprised to see their Clan Head walking with Kakashi of the ANBU. Still, they greeted them politely, showing no obvious hostility.

Kakashi watched them.

He felt slightly out of place.

He had heard the Uchiha were proud, much like the Hyuga, and fiercely guarded their Sharingan bloodline...

Would something happen if he walked into the Uchiha Clan Compound in broad daylight?

"I heard one of your former teammates was also from the Uchiha Clan, Senior Kakashi. A hero who died in the Battle of Kannabi Bridge?"

"...Yes."

Kakashi came back to himself. He didn't look particularly sad.

"Huh..."

Shinji narrowed his eyes with a smile. "I've heard people in the clan talk about Senior Obito. He was so kindhearted. He helped old ladies cross the street every day... Day after day, year after year. The fact that he managed to keep it up until he graduated from the Ninja Academy was truly admirable."

"..."

Kakashi could not hold back. "Maybe that was just his excuse for being late. Besides, I didn't know him that well..."

"Oh!"

Shinji nodded in sudden understanding. "Of course. You graduated early because you were a genius, Senior Kakashi. I suppose you wouldn't have spent much time with a dead-last like him."

Kakashi: "..."

You really are the worst!

"Sigh."

Shinji ignored Kakashi's expression. "You know, our Uchiha Clan really is strange. Quite a few who die away from home somehow come back to life..."

"?!"

Kakashi froze and whipped his head toward Shinji. "You... How could the dead possibly come back to life?!"

"Oh?"

"Have you forgotten, Senior Kakashi?"

"The masked stranger who appeared on the Night of the Nine-Tails was an Uchiha. After my parents died, I took a particular interest in the Masked Man and went through the clan's Scrolls. Every Uchiha death over the years was documented in detail... Even those who had lost their eyes. Not one was missing."

"But..."

Shinji's expression turned grave. "If that's true, how could an Uchiha who isn't in the records have appeared?"

Kakashi's eyes widened.

Not far behind them, a small white Haku-like figure rose from the snow, blending almost perfectly into it.

"Oh dear... Obito, this isn't good!"