The Lecherous Jiraiya Makes a Grand Entrance!

Shinji Uchiha stepped out of the teahouse and stretched.

He felt refreshed.

Hiruzen Sarutobi was probably still checking whether the Uchiha infighting had really happened. That old man would never take anyone's word for it until he saw the bodies with his own eyes.

Fortunately, Shinji had prepared plenty of bodies for him...

And Danzo, the only person who knew who those bodies really were, lay unconscious and unable to speak.

The only flaw was that others in Root might recognize the bodies. But the Uchiha would never let them get close enough to check.

As he pondered this, the sunlight before him was suddenly blocked. Shinji looked up and froze. "You're... Lord Jiraiya? You're back in the village?"

Standing before Shinji was a broad, imposing man with shoulder-length silver hair. He stared at Shinji with a solemn expression.

One of the Konoha Sannin, the lecherous Jiraiya, had made his grand entrance!

"Kid, want to talk?"

To be honest...

Shinji had no desire to talk to him.

Shinji stood with the Uchiha, while Jiraiya stood with Konoha. What was there to talk about?

Still...

Shinji glanced at the string of challenge notifications and frowned.

"What would you like to talk about, Lord Jiraiya?"

Jiraiya gave him a bold thumbs-up, then pointed down the street with a tilt of his head. "Shall we?"

"All right. You are my senior, after all."

"Ahem..."

"Well, kid? Not bad, right? Wahahaha! This is Konoha's only mixed bathing spot!"

Smack!

Jiraiya slapped Shinji on the shoulder and let out a hearty, lecherous laugh.

The young women in the bath shot them looks of disdain.

A group of women floating with their breasts above the water quietly sank up to their necks, then paddled far away...

They had thought the handsome black-haired young man was a cool, aloof noble they could approach for a chat.

Who would have guessed his friend was an old pervert?

In that case...

He was probably just as bad!

Amid the curling steam, Shinji relaxed every muscle and let out a contented groan.

"Jiraiya, you really know how to have a good time!"

"Hahaha!"

Jiraiya laughed. "Kid, that's because you haven't read my masterpiece. If you had, you'd admire me even more!"

"Icha Icha Paradise, right? Hmm... It's quite a hit! I'll be sure to read it carefully when I get the chance."

"Haha, it won't disappoint!"

Jiraiya laughed, then abruptly turned to him with a serious expression. "Kid, what are you really trying to do?"

"?"

It took Shinji a moment to follow. "What are you asking, Lord Jiraiya?"

"You know what I'm asking."

"I don't."

"You do!"

"I don't—"

"All right!"

Jiraiya's serious act collapsed in an instant.

He hung his head. "Guess I'm still not cut out to play the dashing master swordsman! No wonder I can never write heroic characters properly."

"?"

Shinji Uchiha's eyes widened.

Seriously, man?

"Well!"

Jiraiya slipped back into his easygoing manner. "Kid, I'll be blunt. The Third Hokage sent word asking me to come back... He said you wanted to become head of the Uchiha Clan, lead the Uchiha in a coup, and seize the Hokage Position?"

"We can't have that, can we?"

"..."

Shinji stared at him. "When did you get that message?"

"Hmm..."

Jiraiya thought for a moment. "A few days ago. The Land of Grass isn't too far from Konoha."

"Come on, your information's ancient!"

Shinji Uchiha rolled his eyes. "Things have moved on!"

"Huh?!"

Jiraiya started. "Don't tell me you've already become Hokage? What about the old man? He's not dead, is he?"

"..."

Shinji turned to face him.

He studied the so-called "best intelligence gatherer in Konoha" closely.

"Enough probing. You must have returned to the village a while ago and watched how things developed before deciding to talk to me."

Shinji rubbed his chin. "Let me think. Knowing you, you haven't even gone to see the Third Hokage yet, have you?"

Jiraiya smiled easily. "What a sharp kid! Even mixed bathing couldn't cloud your judgment. Wahahaha!"

Shinji's mouth twitched.

He sighed. "So ask whatever you want. I'll tell you everything I know."

"Hmm... Thank you."

Thank me?

Shinji asked, puzzled, "What have I done to earn your thanks?"

"Well... It's nothing."

Jiraiya tipped his head back, his expression peaceful, his eyes touched with memory and regret.

"I've been back in the village for a day, and I found all of Konoha talking about you, Shinji Uchiha! They're also talking about... the Konoha Military Police Force!"

"Kid, do you really want to become Hokage?"

Shinji Uchiha looked utterly unconcerned. "No. I haven't the slightest interest in the Hokage Position. If I had to sit in an office reviewing paperwork day after day, year after year, I'd rather die on the battlefield. Only someone stuck with the 007 'blessing' knows what it's like."

"Really?" Jiraiya scratched his head.

"Really!"

"Hahaha! Then we're kindred spirits!" Jiraiya had barely stayed serious for three seconds before he burst into laughter again, heedless of everyone around him.

Shinji glanced around with narrowed eyes.

That booming laugh of yours is about to scare every woman out of the bath...

"But..."

Jiraiya looked curious. "What's the 007 blessing?"

"Oh, it's just a simple work schedule. They only hire strange creatures called beasts of burden..."

Shinji wrung out his towel, laid it back across his forehead, and made it up as he went.

Jiraiya was making things up too, after all.

Shinji didn't feel the least bit guilty about it.

"..."

Naturally, the shrewd Jiraiya noticed.

He coughed and said solemnly, "Kid, after investigating for a day and spending this time with you, I've decided you're a decent guy!"

"As long as you don't endanger Konoha, I think we can be friends!"

"Hm?"

Shinji asked in surprise, "You're not going to call me to account? Or decide that anyone who threatens Konoha has to be wiped out?"

"I took quite a bit of power from the Third Hokage, disrupted Konoha's steady development, and beat Shimura Danzō, the leader of Root, so badly he's still in a hospital bed..."

Jiraiya put his hands behind his head. "I'm getting old. I don't want to bother with tedious things like that. I'm working on something great now, and that's where I'm putting my energy!"

Oh—

Looking for the next victim of fate. Got it.

Shinji nodded. "So you're going to let things take their course and stay out of it?"

"That's right."

Jiraiya nodded. "But I'll say it again, Ghost. Konoha's peace was hard-won. Don't start a war lightly."

"Otherwise... I won't stand by and watch!"