So Smooth

Feeling his Sanity about to drain away completely, Zhang Xuan clenched his back teeth and tried to get his buckling legs working again...

The sheer horror before him battered his brain, but too much was as bad as too little. Fear beyond his threshold had made his limbs—give up altogether!

No matter how hard Zhang Xuan tried, his legs simply would not move. It gave him the absurd feeling of: We, your subjects, stand ready to fight to the death, so why has Your Majesty surrendered first?

For a while, Zhang Xuan's legs were too weak for him to get up and flee, while this family of "people" made no further moves either. Both sides simply sat before the campfire, silently staring into each other's eyes.

"Seriously, buddy, is your family's happiness index really that high living here? Enough to make you smile like that?"

He cracked a flippant joke, but his heart was pounding madly. He only wanted to use humor to distract himself from the tremendous shock of the sight before him.

"It is indeed quite nice. This is blessed ground with excellent feng shui, a fine place to settle down."

The man's mouth remained stretched all the way to his ears, exposing grayish-white flesh, as he spoke in a hoarse voice devoid of emotion.

"The roast chicken is ready. Taoist priest, please help yourself."

Before his words had faded, the woman who had been sitting stiffly suddenly moved.

Her arm thrust straight into the fire like that of a puppet without sensation. Flames licked her skin with faint sizzling sounds, yet she showed no reaction.

Amid the flickering firelight, the woman withdrew her hand from the campfire, clutching something that gave off white steam, and slowly held it out to Zhang Xuan.

"Here, Taoist priest. Don't be shy. Eat."

The mountain woods were silent. A mountain breeze swept through, rustling the dense leaves and bringing a little life to the stillness.

But when that cool breeze brushed Zhang Xuan, he felt as though he had fallen into an ice pit.

His pupils abruptly contracted as he stared fixedly at the object in the woman's hand—a human foot roasted black, its skin and flesh peeling outward, fat dripping from it. A rich meaty aroma mixed with the smell of charring washed over him.

"This... this is..."

Zhang Xuan's throat tightened, and his stomach churned so violently that he almost vomited.

More horrifying still, although the woman's body had not moved, her arm stretched endlessly like rubber. The charred human foot drew closer and closer, almost touching his face.

Zhang Xuan could already smell the intensely nauseating, rich aroma of meat coming from the human foot...

What do I do? Fight them head-on?

Thoughts flashed through his mind. Palm Thunder?

But his strength was exhausted. He could barely stand, let alone cast a spell. Even if he managed one shot, there were three monsters before him. He had no way to handle them.

Run?

His legs felt filled with lead, so weak they could barely support his body.

Run? Run, my ass!

He cursed inwardly as cold sweat slid down his temples.

The charred human foot almost touched the tip of his nose, its rich meaty aroma making him want to retch.

"Taoist priest, eat..."

The woman's voice was hollow and cold, as though it came from the depths of hell.

Just as that blackened, roasted big toe was about to brush Zhang Xuan's chin, he understood that there was no escape...

Suddenly, the look in his eyes changed.

He bit down hard on the tip of his tongue, and the intense taste of blood burst through his mouth.

The fear and hesitation in his eyes vanished, replaced by a ruthless gleam.

Fuck it. When a man dies, his dick points skyward. I'm going all in!

With that thought, Zhang Xuan stopped dodging. He abruptly leaned forward and thrust out his right hand—

His palm passed the sizzling, greasy human foot and came to rest on the Female Ghost's deathly pale face.

Her skin felt icy beneath his hand, like a snake's skin, with a sickening slickness.

Zhang Xuan grinned, showing his white teeth. "Madam, you're so smooth."

The Female Ghost froze.

She did not understand why the Taoist who had been trembling in terror a moment ago suddenly seemed like an entirely different person.

There was no fear in his eyes. Instead, they held a hint of mockery and provocation. He even... dared to flirt with her?

In the instant the Female Ghost was distracted, a spark of lightning flashed in Zhang Xuan's eyes.

Lightning abruptly blazed in his palm, its brilliant purple radiance driving back the surrounding darkness.

Boom—

The lightning exploded. The Female Ghost let out a piercing scream, her form twisting and shattering in the dazzling light before finally turning into a wisp of black smoke that dissipated into the night sky.

Thud, thud, thud—

Zhang Xuan staggered backward several steps, his face white as paper, swaying on the verge of collapse. Only when his back met a rough tree trunk did he barely manage to hold himself upright.

Zhang Xuan was afraid of death, true, but no one could call him a coward. Pushed far enough, he could throw everything away without a second thought and fight for that sliver of survival!

Using the last of his strength to deliver a vicious blast to the Female Ghost's face, he had decided to gamble—betting that the other two ghosts would be frightened into retreat by their companion's utter destruction.

Even ants cling to life. Ghosts should be no different...

He thought this to himself, his gaze fixed firmly on the two remaining ghosts.

Reality, however, dealt him a blow straight to the head.

The two ghosts, one large and one small, first looked shocked. Then their mouths, stretched to their ears, stopped laughing wildly and opened into gaping, blood-red maws instead. Their eyes gleamed with murderous intent as they bared their sinister fangs and advanced on Zhang Xuan, step by step.

"Damn it, luck wasn't on my side..."

Zhang Xuan gave a bitter laugh, a trace of blood seeping from the corner of his mouth.

His strength had long since run dry. The lingering power of Palm Thunder still danced at his fingertips, but he no longer had the energy to cast it a second time.

The two ghosts' footsteps sounded especially clear in the silent Lin, each step seeming to land on the very tip of his heart.

Zhang Xuan's breathing almost stopped. Only one thought remained in his mind—

Immeasurable fucking Heavenly Lord. Looks like today—I'm going to die here!

Suddenly, a thunderous shout came from the distance—

"What fiend dares harm the living? Reveal your true form at once and let this humble monk send you on!"

"Sarira relics, go!"

At the sound, Zhang Xuan's spirits lifted. He narrowed his eyes and looked in the direction of the voice, only to see a gleaming bald head charging toward him from the distance.

Before he could react, three unidentified objects came hurtling over. One struck him squarely in the forehead.

"Hiss!" Zhang Xuan sucked in a sharp breath. The burning pain in his forehead nearly made him jump. He looked down. That pitch-black thing was actually—a Black Donkey Hoof?!

Is this Monk here to catch ghosts or kill people?! Zhang Xuan cursed inwardly. Wiping away the tears that the intense pain had forced from his eyes, he hurriedly threw himself to the side, because he had heard what that bald monk said next:

"Behold your Buddha's Vajra Seal!"

A chill sank into Zhang Xuan's heart. This Monk's aim was more terrifying than the ghosts. If he did not dodge now, the ghosts might not have been sent on yet, but this "Buddha" would send him on first.

Sure enough, the moment Zhang Xuan dodged, a dark shape streaked through the spot where he had been sitting. Then, with a sizzling sound, it struck one of the ghosts. The ghost had still been laughing wildly with its head tilted, but now it abruptly retreated two steps, wisps of bluish smoke rising from its body as its expression twisted in pain.

"Is that a... a brick?"