Turned into a stool

After leaving the Imperial Garden, Dipper Mother did not return to her palace.

She walked for a while along a corridor amid the clouds.

Then she turned into a secluded garden. Inside stood only an old banyan tree, a stone table, and three stone stools. A thick layer of fallen leaves covered the ground.

An old man sat on one of the stone stools, wearing a drab, worn Daoist robe, his hair streaked with gray.

He had his head lowered, studying an unfinished game on the stone table.

He did not look up at the sound of footsteps, merely saying offhandedly,

"You're here? Sit."

Dipper Mother sat on the stone stool opposite him, glanced at the board, and casually placed a stone.

The old man tossed his black stone straight back into the basket, wearing an expression that said, Who told you to go putting stones wherever you please?

He looked very old, yet his complexion was ruddy. His eyes, though—there was something about them. They were impossibly deep, as though the entire primordial world lay within them. Look long enough, and they no longer seemed like eyes, but two bottomless black holes.

"Did you meet him?"

The old man stopped fiddling with his unfinished game.

"I did."

Dipper Mother's tone was noticeably more respectful in the old man's presence.

"That godson Wen Zhong took in. His surname is Wen, and his name is Wen Ning. He only started work today. He's a sharp one. The moment I introduced myself, he called me Grandmaster. His reaction was faster than his brain."

The old man chuckled and pulled a wine gourd from his sleeve. An overpowering aroma of wine immediately filled the air.

"Now that's a rarity, that boy Wen Zhong taking a godson. With his temperament, there aren't many people in the Three Realms he thinks highly of."

"His godson shares his surname."

Dipper Mother smiled faintly.

"Fate had a hand in it, too."

The old man nodded, took another sip of wine, then looked up at her.

"You gave him the Eight-Nine Mysteries?"

"I did."

Dipper Mother answered,

"Master, I was just about to ask you about that. The Eight-Nine Mysteries is a divine art for guardians of the Dao. Wen Ning is merely a newly appointed Heavenly Official, an Earth Immortal with a shallow foundation. I cannot understand why you instructed me to pass it on to him."

The old man set the gourd on the stone table without answering her question directly.

He reached over and picked up a fallen leaf.

Then he flicked it casually, and the leaf turned into a wisp of blue-green light, dissipating into the air.

"Do you still remember the last Heaven and Earth Calamity?"

The old man brushed his hands together, picked up his gourd again, and took another sip.

"The fifth Heaven and Earth Calamity is coming."

Dipper Mother fell silent. Every Heaven and Earth Calamity swept countless people into its wake, but she asked no further questions.

She had followed her master for over ten thousand years and knew well that, for him, taking a liking to someone at first sight outweighed ten thousand reasons. Otherwise, during the Investiture of the Gods War, he would never have led the Jie Sect in a gamble for that single elusive chance, despite knowing the fate ordained by the Heavenly Dao.

At his age, her master surely had his own reasons for what he did.

"That agency of his..."

The old man suddenly changed the subject, a hint of mischief in his voice.

"Has the sign for the entrance been delivered?"

"Wen Zhong has made the arrangements. It will arrive tomorrow."

"What does it say?"

"Thunder Department Human World Office."

The old man shook his head in disdain.

"That boy Wen Zhong is still terrible at naming things. Tell him to change it to something with more punch. He can't keep being so stiff and formal, as though he's approving official documents."

Dipper Mother nodded.

"I will be sure to pass that along."

Satisfied, the old man waved a hand and returned his attention to the board.

Seeing this, Dipper Mother rose, bowed, and turned to leave the garden.

Behind her, she heard the old man muttering to himself.

"That boy sounds entertaining. I'll go tease him sometime."

By the time Wen Ning woke on his folding bed, daylight had already filled the sky outside.

He recalled what had happened in the Heavenly Court, then raised his right hand. An arc of electricity sprang naturally from his palm.

His legs did not weaken, nor did his head spin. He barely felt anything at all, as though he had merely stretched.

With a thought, he extinguished the arc again. Clean and effortless, summoned and dismissed at will. Nice.

Wen Ning sat up. He was an Earth Immortal now.

A small-time boss who had spent two years running an agency in an urban village, with even the sign outside his door peeling.

Now he was a Heavenly Official of the Heavenly Court's Thunder Department. His life swung between highs and lows faster than his battered electric fan could swivel.

Remembering the jade tablet Dipper Mother had given him, Wen Ning hurriedly felt in his pocket. It was still there.

He held the jade tablet and turned it over in his hands. Wait, how am I supposed to use this? Do I just tap it against my forehead like Godfather did?

He tried pressing the tablet to the spot between his brows. Nothing happened. Then he tried feeding a trace of magical power into it. Still no response.

While Wen Ning was still puzzling over it, something seemed to give his consciousness a sharp tug, and he plunged into a vast expanse of darkness.

A formula appeared in Wen Ning's mind. It was neither text nor sound, but something pasted straight into his head with a mental Ctrl+V, exactly like the sensation when Wen Zhong had imparted the Five Thunder Righteous Method to him.

Eight-Nine Mysteries, first stage: myriad transformations. Allows transformation into all manner of forms, from mosquitoes and flies to mountains. To regain human form after transforming, silently recite the restoration formula. See Appendix Three for the formula.

Within his mental space, Wen Ning read the formula three times over, taking particular care to memorize the restoration formula in Appendix Three.

The very first second he returned to reality, Wen Ning had a bold idea.

He was an Earth Immortal now, with magical power inside him.

How will I know whether it works unless I try? He took a deep breath and circulated his magical power according to the formula.

He glanced around the shop, his gaze settling on the folding chair that had kept him company for two years. He knew it so well that he could recreate every detail in his mind with his eyes closed.

With a pop, he turned into a folding chair.

Wen Ning lowered his head to look at himself—no, that was wrong. He no longer had a head. His consciousness was spread evenly throughout the entire chair, and he could feel four metal-tube legs planted firmly on the concrete floor.

He tried to take a step forward. He stood there for half a minute without moving a single centimeter.

Wen Ning hurriedly recited the restoration formula in his mind. In an instant, he regained human form. Everything was normal, except his legs felt a little weak, as though he had been squatting too long.

"So I can transform."

He muttered to himself,

"But what good does turning into a folding chair actually do?"

Wen Ning decided to try again.

This time, he decided to turn into a big black dog.

He circulated his magical power, picturing a black dog in his mind as power flowed through his meridians.

A tingling sensation swept through his body. Once the transformation was complete, he looked down at his paws. They were tiny, thin, and short, covered in orange-yellow fur. His belly hugged the ground, and a long, slender tail trailed behind him.

He had turned into a weasel. All right, that was a failure.

Just then, an older woman out early to buy groceries passed the shop entrance and happened to spot a weasel lying inside through the glass door.

Her shopping basket nearly went flying. She walked away cursing: this lousy shop was shabby enough already, and now it had a weasel too. The feng shui probably wasn't any good.

Wen Ning hurriedly returned to human form. I'll take my time practicing tonight.

He looked at Wen Zhong's statue on the altar. He had yet to offer incense today.

He stood, walked over to the altar, lit three sticks of incense, and placed them in the burner. Then he respectfully kowtowed three times, his forehead striking the floor.

"Godfather, I've gotten started on the first stage of the Eight-Nine Mysteries. My transformations aren't very good yet, but I'll keep practicing. When Grandmaster visits the shop someday, I'll put on an exciting performance for her."

Just as Wen Ning was offering incense,

Bang, bang, bang. Several knocks sounded at the front door.