The Heavenly Court Civil Service Exam

After Wen Ning fell asleep, he felt as though he were dreaming.

One moment, he had been lying on his folding bed; the next, he was standing in a sea of white.

Wen Ning looked down. Clouds lay beneath his feet, soft and springy, like a quilt of cotton batting that had been aired in the sun.

Clouds surrounded him, obscuring his view. Several bright red pillars loomed faintly through the mist, their tops too high to see. Golden dragons coiled around them, slowly moving, their scales making faint metallic sounds as they brushed against the pillars.

You know, this dream feels pretty real.

Wen Ning pinched his thigh. It hurt. It really hurt.

Can you feel pain in a dream? Is this not a dream?

Before Wen Ning could figure out what was happening, the crowd behind him pushed him forward.

He called it a crowd, but it was really a group of humanoid beings dressed in all sorts of outfits. Some wore robes, some wore armor, some had antlers on their heads, and some trailed fluffy tails behind them.

They surged noisily forward. Caught in their midst, Wen Ning was pushed along with his feet barely touching the ground, a constant buzz of conversation filling his ears.

"Looks like they've cut the number of permanent positions again this year. Did you hear? There were thirty-seven last year, but they're only recruiting twelve this year."

"Twelve? That few? Only twelve across the entire Three Realms? That's insanely competitive."

"What can you do? The Heavenly Court's budget is tight, too. I heard they've even scaled down this year's Peach Banquet."

Wen Ning was utterly confused. Just as he opened his mouth to ask what was happening, a hand suddenly landed on his shoulder.

The hand was strong, hauling Wen Ning straight out of the crowd.

He turned to look. A man in blue-green official robes stood behind him. Subtle lightning patterns were embroidered on his robes, and a token hung at his waist, engraved with the words "Thunder Department."

The man looked to be in his forties, and he regarded Wen Ning like an elementary school student who had arrived late.

"You're Wen Ning, correct?"

The heavenly official in blue-green robes opened a register and compared him with the portrait inside.

"Yes, all the information matches."

Wen Ning opened his mouth. His brain had yet to catch up, and in the end, he managed only a single sound.

"Huh?"

"What do you mean, huh? Come with me. You're registered for an interview with our Thunder Department."

The heavenly official snapped the register shut and turned to leave. After two steps, he looked back and saw Wen Ning still standing there in a daze.

"What are you standing around for? Come on. The interviews are about to start."

"Interviews?"

Wen Ning was even more confused. He had never signed up.

"What interviews?"

"The Heavenly Court civil service recruitment interviews."

The heavenly official kept walking without looking back.

"Your godfather signed you up. Hurry up and stop wasting time. You're the only one we're waiting for."

Wen Ning's mind instantly descended into chaos.

My godfather? Wen Zhong, the Heavenly Lord of Universal Thunder Who Responds to the Nine Heavens? He signed me up for the Heavenly Court civil service exam?

No, wait. When did I submit a résumé? Did I pass the political vetting? Did I take the written exam? I haven't even seen an admission ticket!

Before Wen Ning could digest any of this, the heavenly official had led him to an office with a sign above its door: "Thunder Department Interview Office."

Several people sat on benches outside, their backs ramrod straight. Every so often, someone took out a jade slip that looked like a crib sheet and bowed their head to memorize it, murmuring under their breath.

"Article 327 of the Heavenly Court Laws."

"Supplementary provisions to the Three Realms Public Security Regulations."

"The full title of the Jade Emperor is Supreme Sovereign of the Vast Heavens and Golden Palace, Naturally Wondrous, All-Encompassing, Most True Jade Emperor."

The heavenly official pressed Wen Ning into a chair. Before he had even settled into his seat, the official who had brought him handed him a numbered token bearing the words: "Candidate: Wen Ning. Background: Recommended by the Thunder Department. Number: C-74."

A plump young demon beside him noticed Wen Ning's human appearance and leaned over with easy familiarity. A pair of little deer antlers that had not yet fully faded still sprouted from his head, making him look like a deer demon who had only just reached adulthood.

He looked Wen Ning up and down, then lowered his voice to ask,

"Hey, brother, what's your background? Which mountain are you from? A Thunder Department official came to fetch you personally."

Wen Ning still had not recovered from the situation. It was, after all, rather more than his understanding of the world could handle.

"I'm not from any mountain."

"No mountain?"

The plump, antlered young man's eyes went round.

"Then where are you from? Don't tell me you're a mortal."

"I think I am."

Looking at those cute little pink antlers, Wen Ning had trouble resisting the urge to touch them.

The antlered young man's mouth opened into a circle big enough to fit a watermelon. It took him a long while to close it. He glanced around, and when he saw that no one was paying attention to them, he leaned closer, lowering his voice until it was barely audible.

"A mortal getting an interview in the Heavenly Court? Just how powerful are your connections? Who in your family works here?"

Wen Ning thought for a moment. He did seem to have a connection, so he said uncertainly, "I have a godfather. I think he's with the Thunder Department."

The antlered young man's expression changed instantly. He scooted half a seat backward, and even his gaze grew earnest. Sure enough, Wen Ning had connections.

"The Thunder Department? That's the hardest department in the Heavenly Court to get into. Who's your godfather?"

"The Heavenly Lord of Universal Thunder Who Responds to the Nine Heavens."

The antlered young man froze completely at the name.

About three seconds later, he began looking at Wen Ning with the reverence reserved for an honored ancestor. He could barely speak steadily.

"Brother, do you know who your godfather is? He's the foremost Thunder Department Chief Deity, the big boss of the whole department! And you call that 'I think he's with the Thunder Department'?"

Before Wen Ning could say anything, a woman in a long white dress beside them turned her head. A faint mist wreathed her body, making it clear at a glance that she was no mortal.

She looked at Wen Ning and spoke warmly.

"The Lord of Mount Tai on your side isn't exactly any less impressive. Why make such a fuss?"

Called out, the antlered young man chuckled and touched his antlers before making introductions for Wen Ning.

"This is Miss Bai Lu, the niece of Changbai Mountain's mountain god. As for me, I'm Lu Ming, the son of a minor mountain god serving under the Lord of Mount Tai. Pretty much everyone sitting in this row is a junior family member recommended by a deity from one of the departments."

Wen Ning followed the direction of Lu Ming's finger. A tall, thin young man sat to his left. Lu Ming leaned over and whispered,

"That one's the nephew of the Yellow River's River Earl."

There was also a little girl sitting quietly in the corner. She looked only thirteen or fourteen, wore her hair in two little braids, and was engrossed in a book titled The Complete Collection of Past Heavenly Court Civil Service Interview Questions.

Lu Ming lowered his voice even further.

"Meng Po's niece from the Underworld. Nobody down there dares mess with her. She's here for an interview, too."

Wen Ning felt as though his brain had run out of capacity.

He was an ordinary mortal with a marketing degree from a second-tier university, a failing agency, and only two hundred yuan left in his pocket. He had taken a nap and somehow been dumped here, sitting among the children and nieces of mountain gods, a River Earl's nephew, and Meng Po's niece, waiting for a Heavenly Court civil service interview.

You could not make this stuff up, yet it had happened to him.

He looked down at his numbered token and suddenly thought of a crucial question.

"What does this interview test, anyway? I haven't studied yet."

Lu Ming and Bai Lu both turned to look at him. Did having connections really let you be this brazen?

"Seriously, man? You came for an interview without even knowing what they test?"

Lu Ming was stunned. Was he really that fearless? He'd come without preparing anything at all?

"I told you, I don't even know how I got here."

Wen Ning admitted it honestly. He really had been sleeping just a moment ago. Who could have imagined he would be dumped straight into this place?

Bai Lu took a jade slip from her pocket and handed it to him.

"Last-minute cramming is still better than knowing nothing. These are common interview questions from the past three hundred years in the Heavenly Court. Take a look while you have time. Memorize whatever you can. Even if you can't remember them, at least get a general impression."

Wen Ning accepted the jade slip Bai Lu handed him. Dense rows of tiny text appeared across its surface.

Essay question: Discuss how to properly balance mortal incense offerings with environmental protection.

Case analysis: A local mountain god moved a mountain range without authorization, causing geological disasters in the mortal world. Analyze the disciplinary violations involved and propose a course of action.

Scenario simulation: If a mortal makes a wish to you, provide a compliant response and a method of fulfillment based on the relevant Heavenly Court regulations.

Final interview question (inferred from actual questions over the past century): Discuss the historical development of the modernization of the Three Realms' governance system and capacity.

After reading it, Wen Ning silently handed the jade slip back to Bai Lu.

Suddenly, he felt that his lousy agency might still be worth keeping afloat. Becoming a Heavenly Court civil servant was not absolutely necessary.

Just then, the door to the interview office suddenly opened, and a voice came from inside.

"Group C, prepare to enter."

Wen Ning glanced down at the gleaming designation on the jade token before him: C-74.

He took a deep breath and shook every other thought out of his head.

I'm already here. I have to give it a try.