Naruto: Cards on the Table—I Just Want to Slack Off with Tsunade
Chapter 49

Orochimaru, an Eleven-Year-Old Jonin

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In Year 21 of Konoha, the geniuses of the shinobi world were gradually making their names known.

That year, Orochimaru successfully advanced to Jonin at the age of eleven, a year earlier than in the original timeline, and his strength far surpassed that of his original self.

Although he still developed snake-based ninjutsu and signed a contract with Ryūchi Cave, his fighting style had already diverged drastically from its original course.

If the Orochimaru of the original timeline had been a cold-blooded, cunning viper lurking in the shadows, then in this life, he had transformed into a serpentine dragon that prowled the battlefield, constantly seeking openings and surviving and hunting in the most uncanny ways.

—His entire approach to combat had changed!

Unlike the original Orochimaru, who relied on the Substitution Technique, hiding underground with Earth Release, and the flexibility of snakes in battle, this life's Orochimaru had completely rebuilt his close-combat system under Shinichi's influence.

He learned and inherited the Six Styles taijutsu from Shinichi, then innovated and refined it through battlefield experience, ultimately developing an extreme survival-oriented taijutsu system of his own—the Snake Shadow Six Styles!

If Shinichi's Six Styles were fast, fierce, and overwhelming, allowing him to rampage across the battlefield and crush enemies with flawless taijutsu, then Orochimaru's Snake Shadow Six Styles embodied an uncompromising philosophy of survival—

Extreme evasion, counterattacks, dodging, cunning, unpredictability, relentless harassment, and tormenting his prey!

He no longer sought to clash head-on with his enemies. Instead, he pushed his body's flexibility to its limit, twisting like a venomous snake to evade attacks in the tightest spaces. He could even dislocate his bones to bend his joints at angles ordinary people could never imagine, avoiding enemy slashes and ninjutsu attacks.

His fighting style became even more sinister and unpredictable—enough to terrify his enemies!

"You can touch my shadow, but you can't touch my body."

—That was the core principle behind Orochimaru's fighting style!

The combat style of the Snake Shadow Six Styles:

Shave: Snake Shadow Step—Combining Shave with a snake's twisting movements, he made his movement patterns utterly unpredictable. An enemy's eyes struggled to track his trajectory, and he could perform extreme evasive maneuvers even while moving at high speed.

Moonwalk: Snake Molt Sky Dance—Using Moonwalk to launch himself into the air at high speed, he circled nimbly overhead like a gliding snake. Combined with Wind Release, it even allowed him to remain airborne while fighting.

Iron Body: Snake Scale Hardening—He infused chakra throughout his body to strengthen his skin, then further imitated the principle behind a snake shedding its skin. This allowed Iron Body not only to withstand attacks head-on, but also to "shed" his skin in an instant to avoid fatal damage!

Kami-e: Snake Shadow Illusory Dance—Combining Kami-e's extreme evasion with techniques based on bodily flexibility, he made his body as supple as a snake, slipping through enemy attacks and reaching the limit of "staying close without getting hit."

Tempest Kick: Snake Fang Slash—Combining Lightning Release with chakra concentrated in his feet, he unleashed blades of wind like a snake's fangs: swift, sharp, and highly penetrating. His kicks could even leave behind a paralyzing electrical effect on impact, briefly immobilizing his enemies.

Finger Pistol: Snake Venom Fang—He strengthened Finger Pistol with chakra, giving it the toxicity of a snake's fang. Once a strike landed, his chakra could seep into an enemy's body, disrupting their chakra flow and even affecting their perception.

—These Snake Shadow Six Styles transformed Orochimaru's fighting style into a state of "you can't kill me, you can't hit me, and I'll kill you instead"!

Even Jonin-level enemies felt as though they were fighting not a human, but a cunning venomous snake. No matter how precise their attacks were, they could never land a clean hit, while Orochimaru always found the slightest opening to deliver a fatal blow.

His reputation spread rapidly throughout the shinobi world.

Some called him the "Undying Viper," because he always survived battlefields where death seemed certain. Even after taking a fatal blow, he could escape in some uncanny fashion.

Others called him the "Living Curse," because his attacks often inflicted terrifying, lasting damage. Even those who dodged his strikes might still be poisoned or suffer an imperceptible erosion of their chakra.

—"If you can kill Orochimaru once, kill him ten times."

That was something many ninja agreed on.

Yet even after being killed ten times, Orochimaru could still crawl out of a pile of corpses with a smile.

When Shinichi heard these rumors, he couldn't help laughing as he said:

"A snake? Heh... He's no longer just a snake. He's turning into a serpentine dragon."

Tobirama Senju was initially shocked by Orochimaru's growth, but then a satisfied smile appeared on his face.

"Hmm... He's interpreting the Six Styles in his own way."

The Six Styles were, at their heart, a fighting style—the ultimate expression of pure taijutsu. Yet Orochimaru had found within them a path of evolution that suited him and pushed it to its limits.

That was the true essence of the Six Styles.

Tobirama Senju gently set down his teacup and looked at Shinichi, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly. "It seems your 'Six Styles' have already influenced an entire generation."

Shinichi shrugged. "I didn't teach him that. He figured it out himself."

"But you showed him the way," Tobirama said meaningfully.

Shinichi smiled. "It's pretty interesting... Still, what I'm more curious about now is how much further he can evolve."

"A snake will become a dragon in the end."

That year, eleven-year-old Orochimaru became one of Konoha's youngest Jonin—and one of the most feared monsters in the entire shinobi world.

And his evolution had only just begun.

Next came Tsunade's promotion to Jonin.

Unlike Orochimaru, Tsunade took raw power and destruction to their absolute limits.

Even Shinichi feared that taking a punch from Tsunade would instantly turn him into minced meat.

Tsunade's fighting style drew inspiration from Shinichi's Six Styles, Mito Uzumaki's Sealing Jutsu, and her own naturally monstrous strength, ultimately forming a combat system of her own—the Senju Strong Fist!

It was a fighting style that completely discarded flashy techniques and crushed enemies through sheer physical prowess and monstrous strength. Compared with the Six Styles, which emphasized a balance of speed, technique, and explosive power, Tsunade's Senju Strong Fist had only one core principle—smash! Smash! And smash again!

—If they were an enemy, one punch would leave them unable to get back up!

The combat style of the Senju Strong Fist:

Monstrous Strength Enhancement: Earth-Shattering Collapse—Tsunade strengthened her fists with a burst of chakra. Even if her punch missed its target, it could pulverize the ground, creating a small earthquake and robbing her enemies of their footing.

Monstrous Strength Blast: Gravity Collapse Fist—With precise chakra control, Tsunade concentrated chakra in her fist the instant she punched, then released it all upon impact. A single punch could blast through steel and instantly shatter a ninja's chakra shield.

Strong Fist: Burst Impact—Using the Six Styles technique Shave, she closed the distance to her enemy in an instant and delivered a punch with blinding speed, leaving them no time to react.

Medical Enhancement: Bone Reinforcement Technique—Tsunade used Medical Ninjutsu on herself to keep her bones and muscles in peak condition during battle, preventing injuries from the recoil of her own attacks while increasing her endurance.

Ultimate Monstrous Strength: Heaven-Shattering Strike—Tsunade's ultimate attack combined the chakra amplification of the Strength of a Hundred Technique with a single all-out strike. According to calculations, it was powerful enough to collapse a small mountain!

One day, Tsunade conducted a test at the training ground.

She casually threw a punch at a massive boulder in the testing area—

The result was that the boulder vanished under a single punch, and the ground beneath it collapsed into a thirty-meter-deep crater!

Standing in the distance, Shinichi silently wiped the cold sweat from his forehead and thought:

Good thing I didn't act cocky in front of her. Otherwise, there probably wouldn't even be bone fragments left of me...

When Orochimaru heard about it, he lightly licked his lips and remarked, "Tsunade's fists... They really are unmatched."

Even Tobirama Senju commented during a leisurely break:

"Hmm, she's my brother's granddaughter, all right. At least in terms of 'single-target destruction,' she's already surpassed him."

Yet Tsunade herself was dissatisfied with her progress.

To her, Shinichi's talent was simply monstrous. In just a few short years, he had already reached the threshold of the shinobi world's pinnacle. Although she had already reached Kage level, she still fell short of the truly powerful.

She refused to accept it!

She refused to let Shinichi leave her behind forever!

So rather than stopping, she chose to keep pushing her limits—

She not only continued practicing Sealing Jutsu and Medical Ninjutsu, but also began researching Lightning Release Chakra Mode at Shinichi's suggestion, hoping to take both her monstrous strength and speed to the next level!

When Shinichi heard, he immediately gave a wry smile.

"Hey, hey, hey. Lightning Release Chakra Mode plus monstrous-strength punches? Tsunade, are you trying to make sure there isn't a single intact patch of ground left in Konoha...?"

Tsunade shot him a fierce glare and clenched her fist, a dangerous smile curling her lips.

"Shinichi, I'm warning you. Once I master Lightning Release Chakra Mode, if you ever dare say 'you can't catch up to me' again, I'll show you what the real 'Senju Strong Fist' looks like!"

Shinichi: "..."

—Now she really was someone he couldn't afford to provoke!

That year, Orochimaru advanced to Jonin and became Konoha's most cunning hunter;

That year, Tsunade advanced to Jonin and became Konoha's most terrifying destroyer!

Meanwhile, Jiraiya "accidentally" formed a contract with Mount Myōboku and went there to train.

—The legend of the "Sannin" was slowly unfolding on the stage of the shinobi world, and this was only the beginning!

In Konoha, every Genin followed the established process of carrying out D-rank and even C-rank missions, gaining experience and laying the groundwork for their future growth.

Yet Uchiha Shinichi—a monstrous genius whose name resounded through every major clan compound in Konoha, and whom various nations had even placed on the Black Market's bounty lists—had somehow never completed a single D-rank mission!

Not only that, Shinichi had never even set foot inside the Ninja Mission Dispatch Office!

"The esteemed young clan leader hasn't even done missions to find cats, pull weeds, or repair walls!" his classmates from the Konoha Ninja Academy all remarked.

Yet Shinichi was utterly unconcerned. In fact, he felt perfectly justified.

He lounged lazily in the courtyard corridor of the Senju Main Residence, a stalk of foxtail grass between his lips, and mused with an indifferent expression:

"Hah... Konoha really is a strange place..."

"Look at the ordinary ninja. Jonin handle wars, Chunin provide battlefield support, and Genin? They destroy heaven and earth."

—That was right. Konoha's Genin were all monsters!

Shinichi found the thought amusing. In a place like this, did he really need to take D-rank missions?

"You've got to be kidding. I'm a 'Genin' with a combat record more impressive than a Jonin's, and you want me to find cats?"

"If that got out, wouldn't all the other ninja villages laugh themselves silly?"

He shrugged, rolled over, and continued sunbathing.

As far as he was concerned, ninja missions were best avoided whenever possible. Slacking off was the true path, after all.

Besides, in Konoha, he never lacked opportunities to fight outside missions.

Just think about it:

In Tobirama Senju's laboratory, countless research projects awaited his development every day.

Tsunade dragged him into sparring matches every day to catch up with him, afraid she would be left behind.

Orochimaru pulled him into discussions about fusing chakra natures from time to time, and had even proposed the forward-thinking theory of "evolving the human body to its ultimate limits."

Even within the Uchiha Clan, plenty of radicals kept watching him hungrily, waiting for a new challenge for the clan leadership...

My life is more exhausting than going to war... Shinichi thought, mentally drained.

In the end, he reached a conclusion:

"D-rank missions? Heh, whoever wants to do them can go ahead."

"For a 'Genin' like me, destroying heaven and earth is enough."

End of Chapter
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