Naruto: Cards on the Table—I Just Want to Slack Off with Tsunade
Chapter 5

His Training Life Officially Began

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"Father, I want to start training."

When Uchiha Raishin heard Shinichi volunteer to train, he froze on the spot.

Shinichi? Wanted to train?!

That little slacker who spent all day lying in bed picking his nose, who would never stand if he could sit, had actually volunteered to train?!

Raishin stared blankly for several seconds before snapping back to his senses, his face flushing with excitement. "Shinichi! Y-you've finally seen the light?!"

The corner of Shinichi's mouth twitched as he inwardly ranted, No, I haven't seen any light... I'm just afraid the system will electrocute me!

But seeing his father's tear-filled eyes, as though he might hug him and burst into tears at any moment, Shinichi could only force an awkward smile. "Uh... more or less."

Raishin immediately patted Shinichi's shoulder, his voice utterly firm. "Excellent! Starting tomorrow, I'll personally supervise your training!"

Shinichi: "..."

Wait, what?! Personally supervise?!

He was just about to refuse when the system's ominous reminder sounded in his mind:

[Ding! Friendly reminder: if the host refuses to train, the "Electric Shock Package" will be activated~]

Shinichi's mouth twitched. He forcibly swallowed his refusal and managed a strained smile. "Then sorry for the trouble, Father..."

Raishin nodded with satisfaction. "That's my boy. You're finally starting to act like an Uchiha!"

Standing beside them, his mother, Xueli, shook her head with a soft laugh and gently reminded them, "Training is a good thing, but don't push yourself too hard."

Raishin waved a hand, his tone resolute. "Don't worry, Xueli. If a child wants to grow, he can't be afraid of a little hardship!"

He turned toward Shinichi, excitement flashing in his eyes. "Five tomorrow morning. We start training on the dot!"

Shinichi's face instantly turned ashen.

Early the next morning, the sky was just beginning to brighten, and mist drifted through the air.

Konoha was still steeped in tranquility, but the Uchiha Residence was already bustling.

In the courtyard, Shinichi stood swaying beneath a tangled mop of naturally curly silver hair, his eyelids drooping and his dead-fish eyes full of sleepy exhaustion. He looked ready to fall asleep at any moment.

Raishin, however, was brimming with energy, enthusiastically stretching his limbs, his gaze blazing. "Shinichi, today we'll start with the most basic Taijutsu conditioning. Let's get you used to a ninja's life as quickly as possible!"

Shinichi raised his head toward the gradually brightening sky and let out a weary sigh, grumbling quietly, "Father, could we start with something easier? Like... lying down and sensing Chakra?"

Raishin gave him a sharp knock on the forehead, looking utterly exasperated. "Quit trying to slack off, you little rascal. Get moving!"

Rubbing his head, Shinichi began warming up with an aggrieved expression, wailing inwardly, It's over, it's all over! My peaceful life of lazing around... is coming to an end!

Morning sunlight filtered through the thin mist into the courtyard, while the breeze gently stirred the leaves with a soft rustling sound.

From a distance, two figures, one large and one small, could be seen beginning their far-from-harmonious daily training routine.

Dawn was breaking, a thin veil of mist shrouded Konoha's streets, and the air carried the fresh scent of dew mingled with earth.

Yet for some people, this lovely peace and quiet meant the start of a genuine nightmare.

"Keep going! Don't stop!"

Accompanied by a forceful shout, a small figure struggled through push-ups in the morning light in the Uchiha Residence's courtyard.

His face was exhausted, his eyes dull, and he looked as though he might collapse and never get up again at any moment.

"Father... could I... have some water first?" Shinichi asked faintly, each word seeming to burn through the last of his health points.

"No!" Raishin stood beside him with his hands on his hips like a stern military officer, his voice unyielding. "If a ninja can't handle even this much physical conditioning, how is he supposed to survive on the battlefield?"

Shinichi inwardly ranted, The battlefield? Are you kidding me? I just want to sleep at home!

Still, he did not dare argue, knowing that complaining now might only earn him even harsher training.

Beside them, Xueli sighed softly, holding a bowl of steaming Miso Soup. "Raishin, this is Shinichi's first time training. Don't push him too hard," she said gently.

Raishin waved a hand, his tone firm. "Children need to train from an early age. No slacking off! Today's goal is a hundred push-ups, a hundred squats, and fifty laps around the courtyard!"

At those numbers, Shinichi froze on the spot. "...What? Fifty laps?"

Raishin patted his shoulder with a pleased expression. "Of course. As a member of the Uchiha Clan, you can't neglect basic conditioning."

Shinichi's mouth twitched, and his eyes slowly went lifeless. He screamed inwardly, Father, are you sure you're really my biological father?!

But with the system's threat still hanging over him, he could only grit his teeth and keep going.

After that hellish training, Shinichi had completely lost his soul.

He lay sprawled on the courtyard grass, arms spread, mouth slightly open, staring blankly at the sky as though his soul might leave his body at any moment.

"So this is... the limit of my stamina..."

His lips trembled slightly. He no longer had the strength to move even a finger.

Raishin stood beside him with his arms folded like an instructor and nodded in satisfaction. "Hmm. You barely managed it, but you did complete today's goal."

He looked down at the immobile Shinichi, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly. "Next, once you're used to this level of intensity, we'll start Taijutsu training."

Shinichi's pupils contracted slightly, as though he could see the road to hell stretching out before him, and his exhaustion instantly deepened.

Xueli emerged from the kitchen and sighed softly at the sight. "That's enough, Raishin. Stop scaring Shinichi. He's already worked hard enough today," she said gently.

She carried an elegant wooden tray laden with fragrant food—steaming Miso Soup, rice topped with freshly grilled eel, and several carefully prepared side dishes.

The aroma drifted on the breeze, instantly filling the entire courtyard.

Shinichi's brain, which had completely shut down, abruptly rebooted at the scent. His nose twitched, and he laboriously turned his stiff neck toward the tray.

"Th-that's... food?!"

The next second, as though jolted by Lightning Release, he sprang from the ground. His eyes instantly regained their sparkle, and he lunged toward the food without hesitation!

"Ohhh! Mom! You're an angel!!"

With excitement utterly devoid of dignity, Shinichi threw himself at the dining table, his eyes brimming with grateful tears. His earlier dead-fish look might never have existed; now he was bursting with life and energy.

"This can't be a hallucination... It smells so good. Can I really eat it?" His expression suggested he was questioning everything he knew about life.

Xueli sat down with a soft laugh and pushed the tray toward him. "Go ahead. You used up so much stamina just now. You need to replenish your energy."

Before she had even finished speaking, Shinichi was already wolfing down the food like a whirlwind. The instant it entered his mouth, he seemed to come back to life, and even his dead-fish eyes began to shine.

"This is so good!!"

The sauce-soaked eel rice was soft and fragrant, and paired with the warm Miso Soup, it nearly moved Shinichi to tears. In that moment, he grasped a profound truth:

"As long as I eat delicious food, I can get stronger!"

Shinichi ate so quickly that both Raishin and Xueli were taken aback. The food visibly vanished from his bowl, and before long, he had polished off three large bowls of eel rice.

Raishin raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Hey, you looked half dead during training, but now you're full of energy."

With his mouth stuffed with rice, Shinichi replied indistinctly, "That's because food is the best secret recovery technique!"

Shinichi swallowed his mouthful of rice and nodded smugly. "Exactly! Food is power! As long as I eat enough, I can get stronger!"

Raishin: "..."

As he spoke, Shinichi picked up another piece of sushi and popped it into his mouth, a blissful expression spreading across his face.

"Ah..." Raishin sighed, ultimately saying nothing more.

He had expected Shinichi to be so exhausted after training that he would collapse into bed. Instead, the boy had somehow revived himself to full health with a single meal.

Though his attitude toward training was a headache, Raishin had to admit that the boy did seem to have some potential.

Smiling, Xueli served Shinichi another bowl of rice and said gently, "Eat plenty. You'll need to get used to training this hard from now on."

Shinichi was feasting happily when those words made his hand jerk, nearly sending his chopsticks tumbling.

He stiffly turned toward his mother's "gentle smile," an ominous feeling rising in his heart. "W-wait... You're not planning to... make me train like this every day, are you?"

Raishin gave him a smile that plainly said, "Of course." "Do you even need to ask? Starting today, this is your daily routine."

Shinichi's face instantly went deathly pale. "Th-this is inhumane!"

Shinichi wanted to cry but had no tears. The wonderful food before him had somehow become his last supper before "death training."

Yet despite his inner breakdown, he continued frantically eating—after all, delicious food was his only comfort!

"As long as I eat enough, I'll definitely survive training... right?"

He desperately consoled himself inwardly as he stuffed his face.

Night gradually fell over Konoha, and the lights of the Uchiha Residence illuminated the boy in the courtyard.

His training life had only just begun—and his "food-based energy replenishment plan" had officially launched as well!

End of Chapter
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