Naruto: Cards on the Table—I Just Want to Slack Off with Tsunade
Chapter 6

Uchiha Shinichi's "Taijutsu Nightmare"

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Morning sunlight spilled across the training grounds of the Uchiha estate. The morning mist gradually dispersed, leaving a faint, refreshing chill in the air.

At the center of the spacious grounds—

Uchiha Raishin stood ramrod straight with his arms crossed, his gaze sharp and his entire bearing radiating the authority unique to an elite jonin.

Across from him, Uchiha Shinichi wore the dead-fish stare of someone who had completely given up struggling. He radiated a sense that life was no longer worth living, as though he might drop to the ground and play dead at any moment.

"Shinichi, your training officially begins today!"

Raishin's voice was firm, his eyes gleaming with excitement. Every inch of him exuded the wild joy of a father thinking, My son has finally come to his senses!

He waved a hand toward the open space ahead, a confident smile lifting his lips—

"For a ninja of the Uchiha Clan, Taijutsu is the most fundamental of fundamentals!"

"Only by forging a strong, resilient body can you improve your chances of surviving in battle!"

Shinichi: "..."

The corner of his mouth twitched as he inwardly launched into a furious tirade—

No, I don't want combat strength! I just want to laze around in peace!

Besides, Taijutsu?! Doesn't the Uchiha Clan just crush opponents with the Sharingan??

Why does an Uchiha like me have to practice Taijutsu!!

Still, he knew that if he resisted now, the system's "electric shock package" awaited him.

So he could only force down his internal screaming and offer a strained smile. "...All right, Father. I'll do as you say."

Raishin stood with his hands behind his back, his gaze steady and a confident smile on his lips.

Morning light fell across his crisp Uchiha clan attire, making him look all the more composed and imposing.

He gave Shinichi a long look, a hint of anticipation in his eyes, then nodded slightly and said with satisfaction, "Good! Then we'll start with the most basic training—"

He paused. His gaze suddenly sharpened as he slowly raised his hands and assumed a distinctive Taijutsu opening stance.

Shinichi raised an eyebrow at the sight, inwardly muttering, What's that stance? It actually looks pretty... cool?

A smile lifted Raishin's lips, his voice low and confident. "Our Uchiha Style Taijutsu differs from both Konoha's Strong Fist Style and the Hyuga's Gentle Fist."

His gaze was sharp as a blade, and pride colored his voice. "The Uchiha Style approach to combat revolves around one thing—elegance! It is art expressed through Taijutsu!"

"Elegance? Art??"

Shinichi froze for a moment. He had expected the Uchiha Clan's Taijutsu to be fierce and overpowering like the Strong Fist Style, or precise and incisive like the Gentle Fist, but "elegance"... that hardly sounded like a ninja's way of fighting.

Raishin noticed the confusion in his eyes and smiled slightly. "Don't underestimate Uchiha Style Taijutsu. It doesn't simply rely on the Sharingan. It is an art that perfectly integrates offense and defense!"

With that, he pushed lightly off the ground, his body instantly becoming an afterimage as he moved swiftly across the training grounds!

Shinichi's eyes widened—

Raishin glided before him like a shadow, his movements graceful and his footwork precise. Each step seemed like a dance across the battlefield, yet concealed an exceptionally fierce attack.

"Uchiha Style—Shadow Step!"

Raishin's figure flickered in and out of Shinichi's sight, now in front, now behind, making his movements impossible to predict.

He circled Shinichi lightly, like a gust of wind, moving so fast that he even left a faint afterimage.

Shinichi's heart gave a jolt at the sight.

Th-this is really Taijutsu? Why does it feel like dancing?! No wonder Madara Uchiha was called the "Rose of the Battlefield"!

He had assumed that ninja Taijutsu training involved a straightforward, brutal style of head-on fighting, but the scene before him completely overturned that notion.

How was this ordinary hand-to-hand combat?

It was clearly an exquisite art of battle!

Raishin stopped and stood with his hands behind his back. His lips curved slightly as he continued:

"The core of Uchiha Style is 'flow.'"

"We aren't bound by the ferocity of the Strong Fist or fixated on the precision of the Gentle Fist. Instead, we seek to 'control everything between movement and stillness.'"

He gently raised a hand, his fingertips tracing through the air as though demonstrating an ancient form of Taijutsu.

"Our attacks aren't mindless charges. We put our enemies at the greatest disadvantage at the smallest cost to ourselves."

"Evade attacks with dance-like footwork, end battles with precise strikes, control the rhythm of the battlefield, and leave your enemies struggling to respond... that is the essence of Uchiha Style Taijutsu!"

After hearing this, some of the laziness faded from Shinichi's face. For the first time, he looked at his father seriously.

So... the Uchiha Style way of fighting is actually this distinctive?

Honestly, he had initially thought Taijutsu was merely a supplementary skill in ninja combat. He had even assumed that powerful ocular techniques were all he needed, and that such "flashy nonsense" was completely unnecessary.

Now, however, he suddenly realized something—

Combined with the Sharingan, Uchiha Style Taijutsu might truly turn a battle into an artistic performance entirely under his control!

Seeing a spark of interest in Shinichi, Raishin's lips curved slightly.

"Come, Shinichi. I'll personally guide you through the first step."

He slowly extended a hand, palm upward, beckoning Shinichi forward.

Shinichi fell silent for a moment, then took a deep breath, slowly positioned himself, and copied Raishin's opening stance.

Raishin smiled slightly, a glimmer of approval flashing in his eyes.

"Good. We'll start with footwork!"

He stepped back and planted his feet firmly. "First, learn how to 'flow.' Come, move with me!"

Watching his father, Shinichi still felt some resistance, but this time, he did not give up before even trying.

If I have to learn, I might as well learn properly...

He gently adjusted his breathing and took his first step.

Uchiha Shinichi's plan to turn his lazy life around had begun!

Raishin stood a short distance away with his arms crossed, anticipation on his face. "Good, Shinichi. Come on, show me your talent!"

Shinichi took a deep breath. A rare trace of seriousness shone in his dead-fish eyes as he silently declared—

Hmph, today I'll show you the "true essence of martial arts" from another world!

He abruptly stepped forward and swung his right fist, then turned his left fist over, executing a fluid series of movements in one unbroken sequence!

His footwork imitated Raishin's Shadow Step as he tried to display the elegance of Uchiha Style combat, twisting his body nimbly in time with his own "perfect" angles of attack.

Finally, he brought the sequence to a stylish close, lightly tapping the ground with his foot and striking a finishing pose he considered "full of presence." His lips even curled into a smug little smile.

"Whew—perfect!"

"This is my style, the style of Uchiha Shinichi!"

Imitating Raishin's stance, Shinichi had performed what he considered a perfect sequence of moves.

In Raishin's eyes, however, Shinichi's movements looked like this...

ጿ ኈ ቼ ዽ ጿ ኈ ጿ ኈ ቼ ዽ ጿ ኈ...

When he opened his eyes and looked at Raishin...

Raishin's expression had completely frozen.

His mouth twitched, a vein throbbed at his temple, and he stared at Shinichi with a complicated look. The question What did I just watch? was written all over his face.

"Shinichi..."

Raishin spoke slowly and quietly, as though struggling to settle his emotions. "Were you just... fighting?"

Shinichi's lips lifted with a hint of confidence. "Of course! Father, what did you think?"

Raishin drew a deep breath, trying to keep his reason intact.

He struggled to find the words as he gave Shinichi a complicated look. "Your movements... how should I put this..."

He gestured with one hand, then finally pressed it to his forehead and let out a long sigh.

"How was that Uchiha Style Taijutsu? It was clearly some bizarre combination of Drunken Fist, dancing, and aerobics!"

"???"

Shinichi's smile instantly stiffened, his eyes going blank. "W-wait, Father. What do you mean?"

Raishin's mouth twitched as he pointed toward Shinichi's earlier "combat stance" and said with mixed feelings:

"Your steps were unsteady, and your movements had no power whatsoever! That turn looked like dancing, and your balance was off when you punched. You were practically doing group calisthenics!"

"And the most ridiculous part was that finishing pose... what was that?! Did you think you were filming a ninja romance drama?!"

Shinichi: "..."

He stood rooted to the spot in a daze, silently recalling his movements.

Then...

His face slowly reddened, the corner of his mouth twitched, and cold sweat broke out across his forehead.

Damn it... no way... was I really dancing just now?

Raishin sighed deeply and rubbed his temples, looking utterly exasperated. "Shinichi, I really underestimated your 'creativity'..."

"You actually managed to turn Taijutsu into something this absurd. I honestly don't know whether to praise your imagination or scold you for fooling around..."

Just then, a soft laugh came from nearby.

"Pfft..."

Both turned to see Xueli standing in the doorway, her hands covering her mouth and her eyes brimming with laughter.

"Oh my, Shinichi, those movements were rather artistic," Xueli said with a bright smile. "Why not consider becoming a dancer instead?"

Shinichi's face instantly fell, leaving him utterly speechless. "Mother, please don't kick me while I'm down..."

Raishin shook his head helplessly and pointed at Shinichi. "Never mind. You grasp things well, but your movements are too flashy and lack any real fighting power."

"From now on, I'll personally correct your movements!"

"Today, we'll start with basic punches! I'll make you understand what true Uchiha Style Taijutsu is!"

The corner of Shinichi's mouth twitched, and he could not help wailing inwardly.

I'm done for. Looks like there's no escaping today...

He took a deep breath and forced a stiff smile.

"All right... Father, I'll take this seriously."

Raishin nodded in satisfaction, his lips curving slightly. "Good. Then let's begin!"

Standing to one side, Xueli watched them with a bright smile, her eyes full of tenderness and anticipation.

Uchiha Shinichi's "plan to turn his lazy life around" had officially entered the "hellish training" phase!

End of Chapter
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