Pangu split primordial chaos to open the heavens; the clear and turbid parted, and heaven and earth appeared. In the newly opened world, all creation lay wild and untamed. First, dragons and phoenixes plunged the primordial world into turmoil; then Hongjun taught the Dao to three thousand.
On the Primordial World stood a supreme divine mountain named Mount Buzhou. Formed from Pangu's spine, it was hailed as the Pillar of Heaven.
At that moment, beside a cliff atop Mount Buzhou, a fluffy divine beast lay lazily in the sun. Half white and half black, with two dark circles around his eyes, he looked endearingly clumsy despite his sharp claws. He was the first Iron-Eating Beast in all heaven and earth. Houtu, one of the Twelve Ancestral Shamans, had taken him as her battle pet and named him Gungun.
Before transmigrating, his name had been... Forget it. It had been too long; he no longer remembered. Best leave it at that.
Mm, the Shaman Tribe's drilling again. What a waste of time. They can't win anyway. Wouldn't they be better off using that spare time to pick some spirit fruits for me? Yaaawn... Hearing the sudden commotion below the cliff, Gungun yawned and grumbled inwardly.
As a transmigrator, he knew very well the broad course this world would take. In the war between the Shaman Tribe and the Demon Race, both sides would suffer devastating losses, leaving neither able to contend for the position of heaven and earth's leading race. In light of both the war among the Dragon, Phoenix, and Qilin Tribes and the war between shamans and demons, the Heavenly Dao recognized that the primordial world would never know peace until its leading race emerged. Thus, it formally appointed the weak human race as heaven and earth's leading race, and the primordial world's rightful protagonist took its place.
Forget it. The Shaman Tribe will still have the Underworld as a sanctuary in the end. Let them fight. At worst, I'll move to the Underworld when the time comes. With that thought, Gungun rolled over, rested his paws on his bulging belly, closed his eyes, and went back to snoring away.
While he slept soundly, a mechanical voice he had long since muted rang out in his mind.
[Ding! Host is sleeping like a slacker. Lazy Fish Points +1.] [Ding! Host is sunbathing like a slacker. Magical power +1.] [Ding! While sleeping, Host scratched his belly, then rolled over and changed positions to continue slacking off. Primordial Spirit strength +1.]
Time trickled by, and three hundred years passed.
A slender figure arrived. She was a woman dressed in a cream-colored gown, her ink-black tresses cascading like a waterfall to her delicate waist. Her beautiful face was serene and noble.
With light steps, she walked over to Gungun and looked down at him. Seeing him still lying there fast asleep, with drool even trickling from the corner of his mouth, she knitted her brows slightly. Then she raised a bare, jade-like foot and nudged him gently, saying in a cool voice, "Gungun, wake up."
"Mm, stop it. Go away." Gungun waved a bear paw, swatting the woman's foot. Then he rolled over with his back to her, scratched his rump, and kept sleeping.
"..."
At the sight, the woman's already furrowed brows drew even tighter. Then her lips parted, and she spoke in a voice as cold as a ten-thousand-year-old icy pool. "If you don't get up, I'll kill you and roast you."
"Aw? Aah!" Hearing that, Gungun froze for an instant, then jolted awake. His eyes flew open, and he sprang off the ground. Landing on all fours, he shook his head vigorously, looked up at the beautiful woman before him, and said in an earnest, guileless voice, "Lady Ancestral Shaman."
"You're sleeping in again. Have you refined the Great Witch Essence Blood I gave you?" Houtu asked her battle pet.
"Uh... not yet." Gungun lowered his head, sounding a little embarrassed.
It was not that he lacked the ability to refine the Great Witch Essence Blood. After transmigrating, he had bound himself to the God-Tier Slacker System, which let him keep growing stronger simply by remaining idle. As the first Iron-Eating Beast in heaven and earth, he also possessed the divine ability to swallow heaven and devour earth. Refining a single drop of Great Witch Essence Blood was nothing to him. The problem was...
That drop of blood essence smelled fucking awful. Houtu had recovered it from the corpse of a rough Shaman Tribe man killed in battle. Gungun disliked it, so he did not want to eat something like that.
Hearing Gungun's answer, Houtu slowly clenched the hand hidden inside her sleeve. Then she asked him, "How is your cultivation of the Witch God Scripture I taught you coming along?"
"Uh... pretty well, I guess." Gungun lowered his head even farther.
"What do you mean, pretty well? How far have you gotten?"
"I've just about managed to memorize it all."
Houtu: "..."
That's it? So, after three hundred years, you haven't even started practicing?
Silence fell at once. A heavy atmosphere settled over the place, and Gungun trembled, deeply uneasy.
[I'm an Iron-Eating Beast, not a shaman! Why should I refine a great shaman's blood essence or practice the Witch God Scripture? I can get stronger just by lying down, okay? Even if I'm your battle pet and need some mark of the Shaman Tribe on me, you could just give me your blood. That rough fellow's blood stinks too much. I really can't stomach it.]
"Hm?" Just as she was about to give this foolish, ungrateful creature a proper lesson, she suddenly seemed to hear a strange voice. That voice... actually sounded like his. But he had neither opened his mouth nor used a spell to transmit his voice. She had not sensed even the slightest fluctuation of magical power. What on earth was going on?
[If I tell her the truth and ask for a drop of an Ancestral Witch's blood essence—no, it doesn't even have to be blood essence, just a reasonably pure drop of blood—would she give it to me? I've eaten so many spirit fruits, but never an Ancestral Witch's blood. Or... milk would work too. I'm an Iron-Eating Beast, and beast milk is my favorite.]
[Mm, no, that definitely won't work. She'll beat me to death. Ancestral Shaman Houtu is super fierce!]
[But what if she insists on making me refine that stinking drop of Great Witch Essence Blood? I really don't want to eat it. It reeks! As for the Witch God Scripture, reading it makes my eyes swim. I'd be better off getting stronger in my sleep. If I say that, she'll definitely beat me again, won't she? Sigh, this poor baby has it so rough. She's always bullying me. I don't even have beast rights. Boo-hoo...]
The voice, identical to Gungun's, kept reaching Houtu's ears, gradually bringing a strange look to her face.
Her clenched fist slowly relaxed. Looking at Gungun by her feet, she thought, He won't refine that drop of great shaman blood essence because he thinks it stinks? Great Shaman Youhui... really wasn't very fond of keeping clean. He wants my blood, and reading the Witch God Scripture makes his eyes swim. Does he not understand it? That shouldn't be possible. His aptitude is excellent; he shouldn't have any trouble understanding the Witch God Scripture. How could... Hah, he must simply be too lazy. Too lazy to read, too lazy to think. Of course he won't understand it that way.
With that thought, Houtu closed her eyes and took a deep breath. After a long while, she opened them and made a grasping motion toward Gungun from a distance. A jade scroll flew out of his fur and landed in her hand. Then she lightly cut her finger, releasing a drop of Ancestral Witch Pureblood, and let it float down before Gungun. She told him calmly, "Since you have no desire to cultivate the Witch God Scripture, don't. This is a drop of my blood. I'll give you five hundred years to refine it. In five hundred years, I will lead my tribe in an attack on the Demon Race. If you haven't cultivated a great witch's body by then and have no Ancestor Witch Blood to protect you, don't come crying to me with your Primordial Spirit if you die."
With that, Houtu turned and left.
Watching her exquisite figure retreat, Gungun blinked and thought, This time... she's not spanking me? Has she changed her ways?
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