How could a prince of his stature go stealing lamp oil?!
Dantai Mo was utterly speechless.
Even paralyzed from the waist down, he still had his pride. He disdained such sneaking, thieving behavior.
Black Tortoise System: [Your Highness, my level is high enough to check other hosts' missions. I just discovered that the Fifth Miss of the Jinyang Marquis's Residence has a mission to win you over. You can simply hold your position and wait for the prey to come to you. Once she arrives, we can...]
Steal lamp oil.
Dantai Mo: "..."
Just listen to that haughty tone.
Was stealing lamp oil really something to be so proud of?
And "we"? Since when had he and this Useless System become a "we"?
[Win me over? What does that mean?]
Black Tortoise System: [It means earning your affection. I believe her ultimate objective is to marry you.]
Dantai Mo gave a cold snort to indicate that he understood.
The Fourth Prince, Prince Rui, was a famously handsome man in Great Xia. He had inherited all of Consort Yan's best features, with striking looks, graceful bearing, and an exceptional presence.
As the Book of Songs said, "There stands a refined gentleman, as though cut and polished, carved and ground." (1) Dantai Mo deserved the epithet of a gentleman as fine as jade.
Before he had lost all sensation in his lower limbs, Dantai Mo had been the dream lover of the court's noble young ladies. Even after his misfortune, some still declared that they would marry no one but him.
Dantai Mo reflected that the Marquis of Jinyang's Fifth Miss might well be another shallow person who cared only about appearances.
Since she would seek him out herself, the proud, reserved Dantai Mo put his mind at ease and continued his daily routine.
Yet day after day passed without so much as a glimpse of the Fifth Miss of the Jinyang Marquis's Residence.
Black Tortoise System: [Your Highness, the Marquis of Jinyang's Fifth Miss seems to be a lazy bum. Perhaps you should take a little initiative after all.]
Dantai Mo: "..."
Black Tortoise System: [Your Highness, trust me. Once you experience my capabilities, you'll be addicted!]
Dantai Mo: "..." Who would get addicted to stealing lamp oil?!
Jian Ruonan had absolutely no desire to do missions. The mission [Win over the Fourth Prince] sounded simple, but in practice, it was harder than climbing to heaven.
An imperial prince was so exalted. How could winning him over possibly be easy?
She had no intention of becoming a bootlicker.
Wasn't eating, drinking, and lazing around like a salted fish at the Marquis's Estate a much better life?
She couldn't stomach the bitterness of love.
After the system's interruption, Jian Ruonan had lost even her appetite for gossip.
Min and Jian Xilu were still waiting for the gossip!
Being left halfway through a juicy story was truly unbearable.
Staying too long in Shi-shi's room carried the risk of catching athlete's foot. Min felt as though she were sitting on pins and needles. Seeing that Jian Ruonan wasn't dishing out any more gossip, she hurriedly took her two daughters and bid farewell.
As it happened, the Duke's Mansion was hosting a grand banquet that day. The gatekeeper said His Highness Prince Rui had arrived, and the guests were already waiting in the Flower Hall.
Not expecting to encounter the Fourth Prince here, Jian Ruonan decided to take a look and see just what sort of divine being he was.
As for winning him over, she would leave that to fate.
But before Jian Ruonan had even caught sight of him, she had barely sat down in the Flower Hall when that familiar mechanical voice sounded in her mind again.
[Ding-] [Congratulations, host! You have attracted the Fourth Prince's attention. Points +5] [Your points have reached ten. Congratulations, host! You are now eligible to open the Points Mall.] [Would you like to open the Points Mall?]
Two red boxes floated in the air, one labeled [Yes] and the other [No].
Jian Ruonan promptly tapped [Yes].
A dazzling, multicolored Points Mall immediately appeared in her mind.
Only then did Jian Ruonan think to ask, [System, I haven't even seen that Fourth Prince yet. How did I manage to interest him?]
She was certain she wasn't a Mary Sue heroine. Even a Mary Sue heroine couldn't attract someone's interest before they had met, could she?
System: [Haha, I don't really understand that either.]
Jian Ruonan: Trash.
Long accustomed to the system's uselessness, Jian Ruonan chalked it up to a bug or an accidental operation and happily began admiring the Points Mall.
The system's aesthetic sense seemed stuck in the eighties. The entire Points Mall resembled an eighties disco, with neon lights of every color flashing madly.
Jian Ruonan became even more certain that the system was garbage.
System: [This is a dopamine color palette. The whole point is to make it irresistible.]
Jian Ruonan: [Keep blowing your own trumpet!]
In the center of the mall stood a large wheel. When it spun, a little steel ball inside spun with it. Whichever slot the ball landed in, she would receive the item in that slot. The wheel was divided into thirty-two slots, each containing a different item.
Jian Ruonan looked them over. The slots held potatoes, corn, sweet potatoes, chocolate, milk tea, gold, cosmetics... and modern medicines, among other things. Most amazingly, the items in the slots changed along with the flashing lights.
What really got Jian Ruonan's dopamine flowing was the toilet paper and sanitary pads in the slots.
When Jian Ruonan had first arrived, she had been at the Farm Estate. Having gone hungry for three days and nights, she hadn't needed the toilet. After returning to the Marquis's Estate and eating well, that particular need had arisen.
The chamber pot at the Marquis's Estate was extremely comfortable to sit on. Incense ash lined the bottom, and incense burned in the corner. There wasn't the slightest stink; it even smelled lovely. Its comfort rivaled that of a modern toilet.
What she couldn't stand was the toilet paper. It was so hard and rough that it had nearly rubbed her tender bottom bloody. She had tactfully suggested to Min that perhaps she could provide some soft cloth for her to use.
Instead, Min had brought her a box filled with smooth bamboo slips, each carved with various flowers.
Jian Ruonan, in her ignorance, had assumed they were flower-themed fortune sticks or something. She picked one up and examined it for a good while. "What is this?"
Min explained how to use it. "These are wiping sticks. You can wash them and reuse them."
Jian Ruonan nearly hurled the box away.
Min hurriedly explained, "These are all new. None have been used. Everyone in our family has their own wiping sticks. Have a maid wash them after you finish, then bring them out when you need them. If you don't want them washed, you can simply throw them away afterward."
Jian Ruonan: "..."
In the end, she had still chosen toilet paper. Rough as it was, scraping her bottom with a wiping stick reminded her of scraping putty during a home renovation. She was afraid she might accidentally scrape herself bloody.
At the sight of the toilet paper in the slots, Jian Ruonan's eyes practically glowed green.
[Do I exchange points for this?]
System: [No, this is the Wheel of Fortune. It's for prize draws. Each spin costs two points. Would you like to try, Nan Nan?]
[Yes!] Jian Ruonan thought it over. She had to win some toilet paper today!!
After two points were deducted, the wheel began to spin. The Points Mall's neon lights flashed nonstop, stimulating dopamine production. It was incredibly exciting.
"Good fortune comes, wishing you good fortune! Good fortune brings joy and love..." Swept up in excitement, Jian Ruonan began to sing.
"...may you prosper and flourish across the four seas!" (2)
As her song ended, the little ball stopped in an orange-red slot.
[Good fortune has come to your door! Congratulations, you have won one "potato"!!] System: [Congratulations, host! You won a potato on your very first draw.]
A potato?
What was she supposed to do with a potato?
Jian Ruonan suspected the system was taking a sly dig at her.
System: [This dynasty doesn't have potatoes. They come from foreign lands. Potatoes are incredible-their yield per mu is dozens of times that of rice or wheat. They can solve food shortages...]
Jian Ruonan: [Quit yapping. Another spin.]
What she needed most right now was toilet paper. As for the potato, keeping it to stew with some ribs would be fine.
[Would you like another draw?]
Jian Ruonan decisively selected [Yes].
This prize draw was just like pulling cards in a game: there were only zero pulls or countless pulls. Once you became hooked, you simply couldn't drag yourself out.
The system was exceedingly considerate. After Jian Ruonan used up her ten points, it even offered a lending service, loaning her points so she could keep drawing.
When she finally tallied her haul, Jian Ruonan had won four potatoes, two ears of corn, two boxes of Ibuprofen, one packet of salt, one packet of potent aphrodisiac, and ten "Thank you for playing, please come again" results... She hadn't won a single box of toilet paper and now owed the system thirty points.
Jian Ruonan: [...why do you even have something like a potent aphrodisiac?]
System: [Nan Nan, let me tell you, this stuff is amazing. With this packet, you can win over the Fourth Prince in minutes!! Nan Nan, you're so lucky!! Giving you the green light to buy on credit was worth it!]
Jian Ruonan: *[...]*
Just shut up already!!
Garbage really was garbage!!
Was that something you could just feed someone?!
Useless!
[Host's points: -30. Interest accrues at three points per day. Please actively complete missions and repay your debt promptly.]
Jian Ruonan: "..."
You black-hearted system! How could the interest be so high?!
Jian Ruonan had every reason to suspect that this game's purpose was to put her in debt so she would have no choice but to do missions!
This Useless System was playing mind games with her!
Before you continue