Sure enough, she did not disappoint. Next, everyone heard Song Yaoyao ask:
*[Guagua, have you got any dirt on this old bastard? Tell me about it.*
Give me something to brighten my day!
*I've already decided. Once I know the old bastard's secrets, I'll write his story down and sell it to a storyteller. Then everyone in the capital will know!]*
The court officials sucked in a cold breath at that!
Ruthless. This girl was truly ruthless!
She had no intention of leaving Lord Yan a way out!
Guagua rolled its eyes dramatically. Its host was all talk. She was always saying she would turn this person's affairs or that person's affairs into a storybook, but what had she actually done? She had never written a single one!
She only thought about it in the heat of her anger. Once the incident passed, she forgot all about it!
*[I do.*
*Who would have thought? This old bastard is actually a cross-dressing pro!]*
[Guagua, what did you say? A cross-dressing pro? Something that juicy?]
Before Guagua could speak, Song Yaoyao raised her head to glance at Yan Kuan, then lowered it again.
Song Yaoyao's inner voice rang out once more:
*[Oh my, I just took a look at Yan Kuan. He looks perfectly respectable. I really never would have guessed!*
*Guagua, hurry up and tell me!]*
Nobody understood what a cross-dressing pro was, but from Song Yaoyao's excited inner voice, they knew this had to be a huge piece of gossip!
Everyone pricked up their ears, waiting for Song Yaoyao and that Guagua to enlighten them!
Lord Yan's body noticeably stiffened at the mention of cross-dressing!
It was such a closely guarded secret that even his trusted aides and his wife knew nothing about it. There was absolutely no way anyone else could know!
At that thought, Yan Kuan felt considerably reassured.
Then Guagua said:
*[Yan Kuan's parents had eight daughters in a row before finally having him.*
His father and mother were overjoyed!
They named him Yan Jinbao.
Yan Jinbao was raised by his eight older sisters. After spending so much time with them, their subtle influence gradually made his behavior somewhat feminine.
Yan Jinbao loved girls' beautiful clothes, their hair ornaments, and the rouge and powder they used. He also liked playing with girls.
When he turned six and was old enough to begin his education, his parents sent him to school. Because Yan Jinbao was effeminate, many of the children there refused to play with him.
They even gave Yan Jinbao a nickname: the fake eunuch.
Yan Jinbao got into a fight with his classmates over it. This time, he hit them hard enough to send them to a clinic.
When his parents learned why the fight had happened, they finally realized how serious the situation was.
From then on, they taught Yan Jinbao themselves. They forbade him from playing with his sisters or liking any of those girls' things.
To make their son more masculine, they changed his name from Yan Jinbao to Yan Kuan.
*Yan Kuan didn't understand why his parents wouldn't let him like those things. At first, he fought back, but after his father gave him several harsh beatings, he no longer dared defy them openly.]*
Song Yaoyao chimed in:
[Judging by how stubbornly he keeps sinking his teeth into me and refusing to let go, I doubt he gave up that easily.]
*[Correct. It was exactly as you imagined, Host.*
On the surface, Yan Kuan submitted, but in secret, he still liked those things.
However, he hid it very well, and his parents never found out.
After he passed the imperial examinations with distinction and acquired a residence of his own, he built a secret chamber in his study.
That secret chamber contains all sorts of women's belongings that Yan Kuan has collected over the years.
Rouge and powder, women's underpants, bellybands, embroidered shoes, menstrual belts...
There are things you'd never think of, but nothing you couldn't find in that secret chamber!
You could say it has absolutely everything!
Every evening after dinner, Yan Kuan goes to his study on the pretext of handling official business.
*In reality, he enters the secret chamber, changes into women's clothes, draws on his eyebrows, and powders his face. Once he's dressed up, he spends a good while admiring himself before reluctantly removing the makeup and changing back into his men's clothes.]*
[H-he even collects menstrual belts?]
[Host, they're all unused!]
[I know!]
By this point, everyone was looking at Yan Kuan differently.
So that was what a cross-dressing pro meant.
Yan Kuan's face flushed crimson. He wanted to charge straight out and cover Song Yaoyao's mouth!
He failed to consider that Song Yaoyao had never even opened her mouth to speak!
They absolutely could not let Yan Kuan tip Song Yaoyao off.
The officials standing in front of Yan Kuan pressed together, immediately blocking his path.
The two officials beside him also moved closer, taking him by either arm to prevent him from rushing out.
Then Yan Kuan saw the warning in the emperor's eyes and could only remain where he was.
He bitterly regretted it now. Why had he provoked such a harbinger of disaster?
Song Yaoyao continued asking:
[Does his wife know about the secret chamber?]
*[No.*
He's been extremely discreet. Even his trusted aides don't know.
*Host, Yan Kuan has another kink. Can you guess what it is?]*
*[I can't. Just tell me!*
*Guagua, if you leave someone halfway through a juicy story, heaven will strike you with lightning!]*
Yan Kuan had an even worse premonition, but he could neither move nor dare make a sound.
If he dared speak up, the emperor would certainly not spare him. His end would surely be miserable!
Sure enough, the next moment, Guagua's voice rang out:
*[All right, I'll tell you.*
When Yan Kuan sleeps with his wife or concubines, he likes to put on women's clothes himself and have them wear men's clothes before they...
*And Yan Kuan is the one on the bottom...]*
*[Aaaah, it's that wild?*
*Guagua, do you have a video? I want to watch.]*
[Host, my level isn't high enough yet. Once I level up, you'll be able to watch videos whenever you like.]
[Guagua, when will you level up, then?]
[I don't know either. It could be tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, or a year from now...]
[Uh, leveling up is that random?]
The court officials all stared at Yan Kuan with keen interest. Yan Kuan raised a trembling hand, but before he could say a word, blood sprayed from his mouth. Then he fainted.
Song Yaoyao jumped at the sudden turn of events:
[Guagua, what happened?]
[I don't know either!]
*[Did I just see that old bastard Yan Kuan cough up blood?*
And that was ridiculously dramatic. He sprayed it more evenly than a high-pressure sprayer.
*Wait, the hand he raised was shaking so badly. Was he having an epileptic seizure?]*
[Probably not. Don't people foam at the mouth and convulse all over during an epileptic seizure? The old bastard didn't seem to have those symptoms!]
*[Really? I'm too far away to see clearly!*
*I really want to go over and take a look!]*
The imperial physician had arrived, and the hall was in chaos.
Song Yaoyao and Guagua, the two culprits, carried on as though nothing had happened, still critiquing Yan Kuan's blood-spraying posture, the amount of blood he had sprayed, and the symptoms of epileptic seizures...
The court officials cast discreet, complicated looks at Song Yaoyao before looking away again.
This girl was formidable. On her very first day at court, she had already taken down a court official!