"Tang Tang, tell Mommy honestly. Where on earth did your things come from? You certainly have plenty of strange odds and ends."
"Mommy dearest, I... I just had a dream, and when I woke up, there were lots and lots of things beside me, including these lollipops. But you don't like them, so why don't you try these spicy strips instead?"
At some point, a packet of spicy strips had appeared in Ye Tangtang's hand. Between the strange packaging and its strange contents, Shen Qingqing could only shake her head.
"Do you really think Mommy will believe that?"
Ye Tangtang looked up, blinking her big, innocent eyes. "Everything I said is true. Why won't Mommy believe me?"
Mommy dearest seems harder to fool now. But I exchanged points for all these things. Even if I told her, she wouldn't understand.
"All right, Mommy dearest believes you," Shen Qingqing said. "It's just that these things look so strange. Are they really tasty?"
"They're tasty."
Ye Tangtang opened the packet and gave Shen Qingqing one of the Spicy Strips. It nearly sent Shen Qingqing to an early grave on the spot...
"Mommy, isn't it delicious?"
"Mm... delicious... You eat them."
Shen Qingqing clutched the water jug on the table and drank the whole thing, her lips swelling slightly from the heat.
She... she would never believe her daughter's nonsense again.
Ye Tangtang took a satisfied bite of a spicy strip, feeling refreshed from head to toe, then skipped out of the Palace of Gathered Elegance.
I still have to go butter up Scumbag Dad. Maybe he'll give me another reward. I want lots of money, so when the imperial palace is destroyed, I can take Mommy out to eat, drink, and have fun.
"Mommy, I'm going to find Emperor Father. Something this delicious deserves to be shared with him, of course."
Shen Qingqing immediately stopped her. If His Majesty ate this, he might just have Tang Tang's head cut off.
"Tang Tang, your Emperor Father doesn't like spicy food."
"That's all right. I have other things too. These are my little jelly cups, and I have potato chips!"
Ye Tangtang pulled more tasty treats out of her clothes. It was like she had Doraemon's pocket in there, with everything imaginable.
Shen Qingqing: "..."
"Mommy dearest, I'm off."
"All right. Take it slowly, and don't get lost. Have Chunyu go with you."
"Okay."
Ye Tangtang skipped out of the palace hall.
"Have you heard? Lady Shu put a green hat on His Majesty. Apparently, she was fooling around with an actor in her palace. His Majesty flew into a towering rage and had them beaten to death."
"She got what she deserved. How dare she cuckold His Majesty? That's His Majesty we're talking about!"
"But His Majesty really is rather pitiful. I heard Lady Liu put a green hat on him last time too."
"Lady Liu was executed because she was carrying on with another man too. Could His Majesty be unable to perform? Is that why the consorts in his harem keep finding other men?"
"Hahaha! His Majesty gets one green hat after another."
Ye Tangtang pricked up her little ears to listen to the gossip, her big eyes darting about. Could it really be true? Her scumbag dad couldn't perform anymore!
Hahahaha! Little Useless System, my scumbag dad is so pitiful! He's been given so many green hats that he's turned green all over. Maybe he really can't perform. Otherwise, why would so many people cuckold him?
Green-Hatted Scumbag Dad. What a lovely name.
Ye Tangtang couldn't help laughing aloud. The palace maids gossiping nearby suddenly spotted the Ninth Princess and dropped to their knees in terror, begging for mercy.
"Ninth Princess... I didn't mean to gossip about His Majesty."
"Please, Ninth Princess, spare my life."
"Please forgive me, Ninth Princess."
"Get up, all of you. Get up. I didn't hear anything just now. Carry on. Bye-bye."
Ye Tangtang beamed and said goodbye to the palace maid sisters, then continued toward the Hall of Mental Cultivation with the spicy strips in her hand.
La la la la la la, I'm a little expert at selling newspapers...
With Chunyu leading the way, Ye Tangtang soon found the Hall of Mental Cultivation. She had just lifted her foot to enter when Eunuch Wang stopped her.
"Ninth Princess, His Majesty... His Majesty is in a rather bad mood right now. You'd best not go inside."
"A bad mood?"
Ye Tangtang's little mind whirred. It must be because another consort had put a green hat on Scumbag Dad.
"Yes, His Majesty is in a bad mood. I'm afraid his anger might spill over onto innocent people, so please come back tomorrow instead."
Ye Tangtang declared confidently, "I came to bring Emperor Father something delicious. Once he eats it, he'll definitely be in a good mood."
Eunuch Wang actually believed Ye Tangtang's nonsense. He waved to the young eunuchs and let her inside.
"Who's there!"
The deep voice carried overwhelming authority.
"Emperor Father, it's me! It's Tang Tang."
Hearing his daughter's soft little voice, Ye Yubei felt half his anger dissipate, and his voice softened without him realizing it.
"Tang Tang, what brings you here? Come to your Emperor Father."
Ye Tangtang's tiny figure appeared, dressed in a pretty little padded jacket and skirt with a fluffy cape. Her delicate face was fair, and her hair was arranged in two little buns. She looked innocent, harmless, and adorable.
If you didn't know what was going through her mind, you really would have thought she was a sweet, quiet little princess.
Ye Yubei practically melted at his daughter's cuteness and opened his arms for a hug. His daughter really was the thoughtful one. She even knew to visit her Emperor Father.
Those rotten boys were no use at all.
But in the very next second, reality slapped him squarely in the face.
Hahahaha! I absolutely won't admit that I came to laugh at Scumbag Dad. Scumbag Dad's been given a green hat. Don't laugh, don't laugh...
Hahahaha! I just can't help it! Little Useless System, don't you think my scumbag dad is pitiful? A perfectly respectable ruler of a nation, and his consorts cuckold him every day.
Ye Tangtang struggled to hold back her laughter, but she still couldn't stop the corners of her mouth from curling upward.
Ye Yubei: "..."
This wretched girl really had come to laugh at him.
Could she not get through a single day without infuriating him?
Ye Tangtang wore a worried expression. "Emperor Father, are you in a bad mood? Why are you in a bad mood?"
Ye Yubei glanced at the little daughter in his arms. What a convincing act. If he hadn't known her inner thoughts, he really would have been fooled into thinking she had come out of concern for him.
"It's nothing. You're still little, Tang Tang. You wouldn't understand."
Hahahaha! Scumbag Dad doesn't dare say anything. He actually doesn't dare say it! He can't exactly tell his daughter, 'Your dad has been given a green hat. Two of them, in fact.'
Ye Tangtang was beside herself with laughter. The little figure in her mind was already rolling around laughing. Holding it in was far too hard.
Ye Yubei: "..."
Was she addicted to this now?
Hadn't she laughed enough?
Ye Yubei felt as though he had lost every last shred of dignity in front of his daughter.
"Emperor Father, don't be angry anymore. Tang Tang brought you something delicious today. I guarantee you'll want more after you try it. Even Mommy said it was delicious."
Qingqing had said it was delicious too? Then he really had to taste it and find out what this wonderful treat was.
Ye Tangtang pulled half a packet of Spicy Strips from her clothes and presented it before the tyrant like a treasure. "Emperor Father, this is it."
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