Couplets (Part Two)

The others had no idea who Hu Xiaotian was, but everyone knew Xu Zhengying. To them, Xu Zhengying and Wu Jingshan had torn away all pretense of civility today and were going at each other head-on, drum against drum, gong against gong.

Only Xu Zhengying knew that Hu Xiaotian had effectively taken him hostage. However bitter he felt, he could only swallow his knocked-out teeth along with his grievances. Clearly, Xu Zhengying was not the leading man of this group. Over there, the shameless Hu Xiaotian was already grinning as he cozied up to Huo Xiaoru. "What would you like to drink, Miss Huo?"

Huo Xiaoru glanced at the teapot on the table and smiled. "Do I have a choice?"

Hu Xiaotian nodded. "At least two."

Remembering what he had said earlier, Huo Xiaoru hurriedly shook her pretty head. "Then I'd rather not choose." His smile always seemed to harbor some indescribable mischief, and she feared he might say something vulgar again. She had chosen to sit beside him partly because his display of talent had drawn her in, and partly because she disliked Wu Jingshan and his companions. Yet seeing that utterly carefree grin on Hu Xiaotian's face, she began to regret it. He was probably another spoiled official's son; perhaps that dazzling talent had merely been a fleeting flash of inspiration. Still, now that she was here, she could only settle in and take things calmly.

"There's tea, and there's plain water," Hu Xiaotian said. "I think plain water would suit you better, Miss Huo."

Huo Xiaoru smiled. "What makes you say that?"

"A lotus rises from clear water! Only clear water could do justice to your peerless beauty, Miss Huo."

The first half genuinely left Xu Zhengying marveling at Hu Xiaotian's talent. But at the second half, he turned his head and-pfft!-sprayed his entire mouthful of tea onto the floor. Good grief, could you possibly lay it on any thicker?

Hu Xiaotian was thoroughly annoyed by Xu Zhengying's bizarre behavior. Are you kidding me? I'm trying to flirt here! Have all your years been wasted, Xu Zhengying? Don't you know when to make yourself scarce? Don't you realize you're a gigantic light bulb-a third wheel? Forget it. This fellow will never see a light bulb in his lifetime anyway.

The little maid behind Huo Xiaoru giggled. Her smile was rather sweet, revealing two small, pearly-white bunny teeth.

"You certainly have a way with words, young master," Huo Xiaoru said with a smile. "May I ask your name?"

"Hu Xiaotian!"

The two hit it off so well that all the scholars and men of letters filling the hall became mere scenery.

Wu Jingshan, the Minister of Rites, gave Su Qingkun a meaningful look. Furious though he was, and much as he wanted to sweep out in a huff, he could not leave. Scholars had their proud backbone, and they treasured their dignity. If he left now, the joke about the minister being a dog would probably spread throughout the capital by tomorrow. He was a revered figure in literary circles and had spent half his life in officialdom. He could hardly lose to a yellow-mouthed brat who still smelled of milk.

Understanding his meaning, Su Qingkun stood and said with a thick-skinned smile, "My lords, distinguished talents, we have gathered here at the Misty Waters Pavilion today. Not only are we fortunate enough to have Lord Wu, Minister of Rites and leading figure of the Plum Mountain School, among us, we have also specially invited Miss Huo Xiaoru, whose talent is renowned throughout the capital. This truly is a rare grand occasion for the capital's literary world. I propose that we make friends through literature and each display our abilities, composing more immortal lines for the beautiful scenery of the Misty Waters Pavilion and adding more splendid writings to this peaceful, flourishing age of our Great Kang."

Everyone voiced their approval. Although there had been some unpleasantness earlier, and Wu Jingshan had suffered a blow to his dignity, his position was undeniable. They nominated him to set the challenge. After this brief respite, Wu Jingshan had finally recovered somewhat from his displeasure. He took a sip of tea, rose, and paced with his brows deeply knitted, putting on an air of intense contemplation.

To Hu Xiaotian, the old fellow was plainly showing off and pretending to be profound. Nine times out of ten, he was cooking up some dirty trick, and that trick was most likely aimed at him.

When Wu Jingshan's gaze fell on Huo Xiaoru, his brows suddenly relaxed. "Then let this old man set a challenge," he said with a smile. "How about we compose a couplet together?" Writing poems and matching couplets were the favorite pastimes of talented gentlemen and beautiful ladies. Even a talented gentleman as old as Wu Jingshan was no exception. What could he do? It was the one thing he was good at.

Everyone cheered. Wu Jingshan stopped pacing and looked at Huo Xiaoru's half-veiled, lovely face. "Listen carefully, everyone. My opening line is: 'Gathering and silk make color; add a few embellishing strokes, and a pattern takes shape!'"

The gathering applauded loudly again. Wu Jingshan's opening line was indeed ingenious, cleverly incorporating two characters through their component parts. A couplet of this kind required not only precise parallelism but also two similarly embedded characters in the answering line. It truly concealed subtleties within its wording. Clearly, the leader of the Plum Mountain School had not earned his reputation for nothing.

Their flattery made Wu Jingshan feel rather pleased with himself, and his confidence gradually returned. He turned his gaze toward Xu Zhengying.

Xu Zhengying frowned. He had always been known for his scholarship and was no ignorant fool. After thinking for a while, he said, "I have it! My answering line is: 'Jie and wood make Jie; wholly devoid of humanity, yet still called a king!'"

Everyone praised his answering line, and Xu Zhengying looked pleased with himself. Today, he had finally recovered some dignity through his own learning.

Wu Jingshan nodded. "Not bad. The parallelism is reasonably sound."

Then someone else spoke up. "I have a line too!" It was Qiu Zhigao, son of a Grand Academician of the Hanlin Academy. Having successfully drawn everyone's attention, he declared in a ringing voice, "Water and you make wine; if one can turn back, one becomes human!"

"Excellent!" Another round of cheers rang out. As Qiu Zhigao delivered his line, he looked toward Hu Xiaotian's table. His couplet carried a hidden meaning: he was urging Hu Xiaotian to turn back while simultaneously implying that Hu Xiaotian was not human. On another level, he was currying favor with Wu Jingshan beside him. Wu Jingshan caught the insinuation, and at last a trace of a smile appeared on his face.

Hu Xiaotian acted as though he had heard nothing, and Huo Xiaoru remained silent as well. Qiu Zhigao had aimed his couplet at their table, not only insulting Hu Xiaotian but seemingly venting his displeasure at her decision to sit there, urging her to turn back before it was too late. Huo Xiaoru could keep her composure, but the little maid holding the dog behind her could no longer restrain herself. "What's so impressive about that? Even I can match a couplet like this."

Everyone froze at her words. This little maid really doesn't know how high heaven is or how deep the earth runs. Who does she think is gathered here? Every one of us has eight bushels of talent-great scholars, literary masters. What could a little maid like her possibly know?

The little maid said, "Woman and lowly make maid; why should a woman not refuse to be called a slave?" Her words stunned the entire gathering. These so-called scholars and men of letters were utterly shaken. No one had expected even Huo Xiaoru's little dog-holding maid to produce such a brilliant answering line. With a single utterance, she made these men, who habitually prided themselves on their literary gifts, feel secretly ashamed, and left Minister Wu and his companions looking dull by comparison.

Su Qingkun, the Deputy Chief Censor, said, "I have a line too: 'On one great cold day, water without a single dot cannot become ice!'" He offered his answer now to ease the awkward atmosphere. His couplet was neatly matched and ingenious, and everyone applauded once again.

Having delivered his line, Su Qingkun cupped his hands to thank the gathering, clearly very satisfied with his answer. Then he looked at Huo Xiaoru with a beaming smile. "Miss Huo, might you have an even more ingenious answering line?"

Huo Xiaoru smiled faintly and was just about to speak when Hu Xiaotian declared beside her, "I've thought of a line!" His voice was remarkably loud, and he sprang to his feet as though afraid the others might fail to notice him.

Who do you think you are? Must you pop up just to make your presence felt? Su Qingkun thought. Hu Xiaotian had just abused him so thoroughly that he might as well have drenched his head in dog's blood, and he hated the boy bitterly.

Seeing Hu Xiaotian stand again, Wu Jingshan curled his lips in a cold smile. In his view, the boy had only won their earlier verbal clash through a sharp tongue; that hardly counted as learning. When it came to genuine scholarship, how much could a mere youth know?

Hu Xiaotian's eyesight was excellent. Even at that distance, he could clearly see Wu Jingshan's contempt. He smiled. "My answering line is: 'Person and speech make trust; without a minister above, one is a petty man!'"

The hall instantly fell so silent that not even a crow or sparrow could be heard. Hu Xiaotian's answering line was exquisitely clever. While maintaining precise parallelism, it concealed a cutting edge within its words, once again drenching Wu Jingshan in a torrent of abuse. Wu Jingshan trembled from head to foot with rage. Had he not been struggling to preserve his image as a cultured, refined official, he would probably have started swearing. Damn your uncle! What have I ever done to you? You just won't let me go, finding roundabout ways to call me a petty man!

Sitting beside Hu Xiaotian, Xu Zhengying was now utterly won over by his talent. Everyone says Hu Buwei has an idiot for a son. If Hu Xiaotian is an idiot, then there can't be a clever person left in the world! No wonder Hu Buwei wouldn't budge when I tried to arrange a marriage between our families, even offering him his pick of my three daughters. So that was it-his son is a heaven-sent genius! "Person and speech make trust; without a minister above, one is a petty man!" Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! Wu Jingshan, you old dog, you dared insult me. Ha! Now your retribution has come, hasn't it? Hu Xiaotian is right. You old dog are nothing but a petty man!

After Hu Xiaotian delivered his answering line, not a single person dared offer another. What sort of fellow was this? He even dared insult Minister Wu. His nerve was outrageous. By now, someone eager for gossip had discovered Hu Xiaotian's identity and leaned close to whisper it into Wu Jingshan's ear. Wu Jingshan seethed. So this boy was actually the only son of his sworn rival, Hu Buwei! Wasn't the boy supposed to be an imbecile? Yet the one before him was a sharp-tongued, crafty, mean-spirited little schemer. Once he learned Hu Xiaotian's identity, Wu Jingshan immediately lost the desire to continue their contest. Hu Buwei's son was a junior. Even if he won, there would be little glory in it, and if he fell at the boy's hands, he would become the laughingstock of the world. In truth, however, he had already fallen-and fallen hard.

Wu Jingshan slowly rose. Having spent most of his life in officialdom, what storms had he not weathered? He naturally knew when to stay and when to leave. He cupped his hands toward the gathering. "This old man still has important matters to attend to. I take my leave!" With that, he walked away without looking back.