When Ji Ting heard Ji Yanzhi say that, his breathing grew heavy with the dull ache in his chest.
He didn't want to see Ji Yanzhi atone by hurting himself. Tearing open Ji Ting's wounds didn't mean he had to dig flesh and blood out of his own to repay him twice over.
That would only add to the pain they caused each other. It couldn't mend any of the cracks.
After a long while, he let out a heavy breath. "Ji Yanzhi, I'm starting to regret it."
Ji Yanzhi lifted his head and looked at him with reddened eyes, but Ji Ting didn't look back at him. "I regret not beating you up at the Laboratory Building. At least then you might have listened to everything I had to say, and you wouldn't have deliberately said those things to hurt me again."
An indescribable ache surged through Ji Yanzhi's heart. "We can never go back, can we?"
Ji Ting stood up and walked over to him. "Do you know about the Proust Effect? I don't eat vegetable dishes because the taste of vegetables reminds me of the abuse my mother put me through as a child."
Ji Yanzhi's pupils trembled, as though he already knew what Ji Ting was about to say. Bitterness spread unchecked through his mouth.
"By the same token, suppose we stayed together for the next few decades. Every time I opened up to you, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from fearing that what I told you would become a weapon you'd use against me someday."
Ji Yanzhi gripped his hand tightly. "I won't. I'll never do it again. I mean it!"
"I believe you mean that right now." Ji Ting didn't pull free of his fingers, but his words were so rational they