"I told you, Eli," Alpharius said softly. "Once you recovered, I'd treat you to real roast meat. This is the freshest cut of back meat, taken straight from one of this planet's Thorn Beasts."
Eli stared blankly at the roast meat in his hands. It was crisp on the outside and tender within, golden fat slowly dripping down the greaseproof paper. The aroma wafted straight into his nose, awakening the most primal hunger in his empty stomach.
For a mortal who had just narrowly escaped death, discovering that the kid he had once looked after was actually one of the legendary Astartes should have been a shock strong enough to make him faint or fall to his knees in worship.
But Eli's reaction once again shattered Alpharius's complex model of human behavior with pinpoint accuracy.
Eli swallowed hard. He actually paid no attention to the giant's true identity. Instead, he lowered his head, opened his mouth, and took an enormous bite of that genuine roast alien beast.
"Mmph... mm!"
Eli chewed eagerly, sucking in air as the hot meat burned his mouth, his face cycling through a whole range of expressions.
"Alf..." Eli frowned, complaining in a deeply disapproving tone that even carried a trace of disappointment in his lack of progress. "The meat's good, and you roasted it all right. But you really skimped on the seasoning! Where's the cumin? Where's the chili powder? Eating roast meat without cumin-how's that any different from chewing bark boiled in plain water? You've still got a lot to learn, kid!"
Silence.
The expressions behind the faceplates of the surrounding Alpha Legion Space Marines, cold as gods of slaughter, all froze.
As for Alpharius...
The demigod who had mastered conspiracy, lies, and betrayal stood stunned for three full seconds.
Then, "Hahahaha!!!"
A thunderous