Why did Batman have a thing with everyone?

"You... you devil!"

Poison Ivy's face had been flushed red, purple, and even blue with rage, but now it was deathly pale, so pale that even much of its original green had faded.

Especially when she actually saw Zuo Ci drag an enormous flowerpot out of nowhere. Her face went even whiter.

You've got to be kidding...

The thought of being trapped inside it, swaying in the breeze, and fertilized every day with steaming, freshly squeezed, one hundred percent natural, additive-free fertilizer made Poison Ivy feel like she was about to fall apart.

Was this guy a devil from hell? Why was he so evil...?

"Oh, almost forgot you can talk. You can't talk as a welcoming pine. What if you scare the customers?

I happen to have some unwashed pig intestines here. Ball them up and they'll make a perfect plug. They'll even double as fertilizer. Nice, very nice..."

When she saw Zuo Ci actually put on gloves and pull out a writhing clump of pig intestines that gave off wafts of steam, Poison Ivy completely broke down.

"I'll pay you back! I'll pay! Please get that thing away from me, please..."

The last shred of defiance she'd started with was gone now. Poison Ivy wept pitifully, looking every bit as though Zuo Ci had broken her.

"See? If you'd done this sooner, you could've saved me some trouble."

Discarding the clump of pig intestines projected by a drone, Zuo Ci pulled a small bucket of red paint straight out of his clothes, dipped a brush into it, and painted Poison Ivy's face.

Then he produced a contract from somewhere and slapped it against her face.

"Nice. That settles it."

Zuo Ci looked at the hideous, bright red face stamped on the contract, then at Poison Ivy's resentful gaze, and nodded in satisfaction.

"Don't look at me like that. This paint is eco-friendly, okay? All additives, nothing natural, one hundred percent packed with formaldehyde, and really hard to wash off."

Poison Ivy no longer wanted to say even a single word to the bastard in front of her. She only wanted to get out of this miserable hellhole as fast as she could.

"If there's nothing else, you're free to go. Have a nice life, and remember to pay me back soon. I charge interest here~"

He signaled for Jack to pry apart the bundle of steel bars glowing green. Weeping pitifully, Poison Ivy fled into the night without looking back, wailing all the way.

"Didn't you say you were going to hand her over to the cops? You're just letting her leave?"

Jack asked as he wiped the paint off his hands. After everything that had happened tonight, he was finally certain.

His boss was clearly no saint either.

"That's what I said, but it's the middle of the night. Let's not give the cops more work. Besides, even if they did lock her up, they couldn't handle Poison Ivy's powers. In the end, it'd just turn into another little kinky game between her and Batman."

"True. Looks like no matter what world you're in, the cops aren't exactly... wait. What do you mean, a little kinky game with Batman? She's involved with Batman?"

From the earlier introduction, Jack knew Gotham had a spandex-clad freak called Batman-or a superhero, rather-and that he was the strongest, most dangerous guy in all of Gotham.

Although Jack hadn't met him yet, he'd already pictured him as someone like his deadbeat father, Yujiro Hanma, who only cared about the strong and had no interest in women. And now he was being told Batman had a thing with Poison Ivy?

For some reason, Jack felt Batman had suddenly dropped a notch in his estimation.

"Yeah, and it's not just Poison Ivy. Among Gotham's supervillains with any kind of reputation, pretty much all the women have a thing with him, and pretty much all the men want to have a thing with him.

In a sense, Gotham is basically Batman's harem."

Huh?

Wait, the women were one thing, but how did the men get mixed up in this too?

Jack was feeling rather lost.

"Uh, just to confirm, when you say they want to have a thing with him, are you joking, or...?"

"Oh, that? It's like saying your dad sees everyone weaker than him as the opposite sex."

"Oh, so you're joking, then."

"..."

"You're joking, right? Right?"

Seeing the meaningful smile on Zuo Ci's face, Jack suddenly felt as though he'd learned something he really shouldn't have.

"Anyway, Poison Ivy hasn't done anything too outrageous. Plus, she's more or less one of Batman's lovers. If I go too far and she goes whining to Batman about me, explaining myself could get awkward. So let's leave it at that.

After a blow like this, she won't recover anytime soon anyway. Works for me."

Jack really wanted to point out that she would be perfectly justified in complaining about him. It wouldn't even count as whining.

The things he'd done really were a bit too... much.

"All right, if that's everything, it's time to deal with those bastards from the Maroni Family.

Looks like I went too easy on them last time. I'll have to get nasty this time."

Zuo Ci stretched a little, then changed back into his classic mage outfit.

"Need my help?"

"Oh, no. They're just a few ordinary mob bosses. I can handle them on my own.

Besides, what I'm about to do isn't really something I should bring someone else along for."

Hearing that, Jack suddenly had a bad feeling. Almost without thinking, he asked a question.

"What are you planning to do to them?"

"Nothing much. Just strip them naked, write 'Welcome' on their bodies, and toss them into a gay hookup club."

"Hiss..."

Jack suddenly felt his previous understanding of his boss had been incomplete.

Calling him no saint didn't even begin to cover it. He was a complete bastard!

"Didn't see Batman again tonight. Who knows where that guy's run off to? Boring."

Lying atop the eaves of a jewelry store, Catwoman idly twirled a sparkling necklace around her finger.

Who knew what Batman had been busy with lately? She'd barely seen him at all. Without her favorite game of cat and mouse, her life had suddenly become boring.

"Whatever. This is no fun. That's it for today... hmm? Where's that crying coming from?"

Hearing the sobs drifting up from the street, Catwoman turned to look and spotted a dark figure running toward her along the road.

The figure looked rather like Poison Ivy.

"Poison Ivy? What's wrong? Why are you crying so hard?"

Catwoman jumped down from the eaves and stepped right into Poison Ivy's path.

As one of Poison Ivy's few close girlfriends in Gotham, Catwoman cared a great deal about her.

"Did that bat-head bully you again? Don't worry, I'll..."

Halfway through, Catwoman abruptly choked on her words. After all, anyone faced with Poison Ivy's brilliantly vivid red face would have found it hard to remain unaffected.

"Um... you... did you... bloom?"

Unable to make sense of what had happened, Catwoman struggled for a long while before finally managing that one question.

Then Poison Ivy cried even harder.

"Waaah!"