"Everyone here, hands on your heads and get down!"
The people in the bank lobby clearly hadn't expected this, but thanks to their everyday experience, they didn't panic too badly. They promptly crouched down without a fuss, and not a single idiot tried to play hero.
"Fuck! My luck can't be this bad!"
Zuo Ci slipped behind the counter in the confusion and cautiously poked his head out. Watching the armed robbers take control, he didn't know what to say.
Less than five minutes after arriving in this world, he'd run into a robbery. The next day, he'd come to the bank to withdraw money and walked straight into a bank robbery.
What kind of luck was this? Had some jinx possessed him when he crossed over? This was just ridiculous.
Of course, he didn't have time to dwell on any of that now. Zuo Ci studied the robbers while trying to figure out how to get out safely.
Preferably without spending any money.
[Beep beep, you have a new order. Mission name: Joker's Chaotic Joke (1) Mission description: As the embodiment of Gotham's madness, the Joker intends to destroy this city's last remaining light in his own way, personally carving the reverse side onto the coin. Mission requirements: Stop the Joker and his men from carrying out their robbery, ensuring that no one dies in the process. Mission reward: 10 points]
"Seriously? Why trigger a mission now?"
Besides allowing him to trade, Zuo Ci's Novelty Goods System occasionally issued missions that rewarded points upon completion.
Points had far more purchasing power than dollars. A legal local identity, for instance, cost twenty-five hundred dollars, but only one point.
That made the ten-point reward quite substantial. The problem was the difficulty, since he'd have to deal with the Joker...
Wait. The Joker!
Hold on, who do you want me to fight? The Joker?
Zuo Ci checked the mission description on the system panel, then looked back at the thugs. Although they were all masked, one of them was indeed wearing a purple suit and carrying a hand cannon.
The Joker was a famous DC Comics villain, possibly even its most famous. He was insane, unpredictable, and never acted according to logic—a complete and utter super-psycho.
Many people thought of the Joker as nothing more than an unstable ordinary man who relied on laughing gas to wreak havoc, but he was actually terrifying.
His close-combat skills alone put this guy on the same level of "ordinary person" as Batman. Most versions could trade blows with Batman evenly, and some could even beat him back.
And it wasn't just his fighting skills. His marksmanship and mechanical engineering abilities were excellent, too, and even his intelligence was top-tier.
As if that combination weren't frightening enough, DC Comics' editors kept slapping all sorts of inexplicable patches onto him, to the point where he couldn't even be killed anymore. It was downright disgusting.
"So under these circumstances, taking the Joker head-on would be pure stupidity. Which means it's time to practice humanity's finest traditional virtue-calling for backup!"
Zuo Ci then pulled the credit card out of his pocket.
"Batman, come get the Joker!"
Seriously, how was a pitiful ordinary guy like me supposed to deal with the Joker? Better leave this to that Big Guy in a bat costume. As long as the Joker gets stopped, my mission's complete. The system never said I had to stop him personally.
What? Why am I so sure Batman will come? Please, he's Batman! After that long conversation we had last night, I could be covered in listening devices right now.
"All right, my part's done. The rest is up to Batman."
Having said his piece, Zuo Ci shifted into a more comfortable position and quietly lay down behind the counter.
This spot was well hidden and unlikely to be discovered. Batman would show up soon to deal with the Joker, and then he could collect his points without lifting a finger.
Unfortunately, according to Murphy's law, things rarely went smoothly. They always took some inexplicable turn into absurdity.
Bang!
A deafening gunshot and the crash of shattering glass broke the lobby's silence. The bank manager, who had been hiding in his office, actually charged out with a shotgun in his arms, seething with rage.
"F**K! You bastards know whose turf this is?!"
The manager shouted as he expertly reloaded, even killing one of the Joker's lackeys with a single shot.
As Gotham City's largest bank, Gotham Bank had a tangled web of powerful connections. Ordinarily, even major Gangsters like Maroni or Falcone wouldn't dare make a move against it lightly.
That somehow filled the manager with an idiotic sort of courage. He thought those connections could solve any problem.
Unfortunately for him, today's visitor was the Joker.
Bang! Bang!
Two more deafening gunshots rang out-or perhaps cannon blasts would be more accurate. Looking at this brainless fellow, the Joker raised his enormous hand cannon and fired straight through his shoulder.
The manager, so arrogant a moment earlier, instantly became a caterpillar that could only lie on the floor and wriggle.
"Fuck, that saying really was right. Bad people aren't the scary ones-idiots are. Would staying in your office have killed you, man?!"
Watching the manager squirm on the floor, Zuo Ci slapped his own face in exasperation.
Seriously, how did someone with this guy's brains become a manager? Did he bend over for the executives?
"Still, at least he only got shot in the shoulder. He should be fine for a few minutes, until Batman gets here."
Looking at the blood all over the floor, Zuo Ci figured the man had learned his lesson and wouldn't do anything stupid again. Very soon, however, he learned exactly why idiots were called idiots.
"You think you're so smart?! Those... those people won't let you get away with this when they find out what you've done!"
Even gravely wounded, even unable to move, the manager insisted on roaring his defiance!
The Joker expressed his appreciation by putting another bullet into each of the man's legs.
"Ah! My legs! My legs!"
"Oh God, please just take this dumbass already. I seriously can't."
Zuo Ci truly had no answer to this situation. Would shutting up for two seconds kill you, man? Didn't you see the Joker and his guys were about to ignore you? You're practically begging to die.
"Fuck, I thought I could save some money. If I don't squeeze three to five million out of that moron after this, my last name isn't Zuo-it's Right!"
The system required that no one die. So although Zuo Ci wished that idiot would hurry up and disappear before he could inflict any more harm on the world, he still had to save him.
For my precious points, I'll put up with it.
"Boss, we've got all the money. Shall we go?"
Apart from the unlucky guy the manager had killed, the rest of the Joker Gang had gathered beside the school bus with bags of cash of every size, busily loading them aboard.
The Joker watched in silence, frequently looking up at the ceiling instead, as though waiting for something.
But the nocturnal creature he expected never appeared. Instead, a strange, uninvited guest showed up.
"Joker, this ends here."
At some point, a bizarrely dressed figure had suddenly appeared in the middle of the lobby.
He wore gray robes that looked like something out of a story, his entire face concealed beneath an enormous hood. At a glance, nothing but darkness could be seen inside.
In his hand was an enormous wizard's staff nearly two meters long, with a blue crystal at its tip flickering with light.
"Boss, this..."
The Joker Gang's other members didn't dare act rashly when they saw the strange figure who had appeared out of nowhere. They all turned to their boss.
The Joker had no such reservations. He raised his gun and fired two shots at him.
Wood splintered everywhere. The enormous hand cannon packed tremendous power, blasting several huge holes into the floor and counter.
And yet the strange figure, the primary target, remained completely unharmed.
[Product name: Mysterio's Projection Drone Price: $2,000/unit Effect: Generates hyperrealistic projections indistinguishable from the real thing, but is limited to small images. To generate large-scale images, please purchase the complete equipment set. Note: It can indeed generate any image, and I know what you want to do. But I must remind you: you can't touch it.]
"Please. Only an idiot would fight the Joker head-on."
Hiding in a secluded corner behind the counter, Zuo Ci saw that the hologram had drawn the Joker and his men's attention, then quietly began putting his real plan into motion.
Just wait, Joker. You're about to learn how treacherous this world can be.
Before you continue