Yu Zhibo felt like absolute crap.
Old Yu-or rather, "Old Yu the disembodied consciousness," as he ought to be called now-was using what remained of his groggy thoughts to bitterly regret going on that drinking binge last night with his equally miserable coworkers.
He, Yu Zhibo, was thirty-five years old, an age when a code monkey... no, a software engineer was supposedly "in his prime"... fine, "on the verge of being scrapped."
The vegetation coverage on his scalp had declined year after year, putting him on the fast track to premium membership in the Bald Crown Club, while his beer belly continued its tireless expansion.
As a lowly coder worked to death by the cutthroat competition at a major internet company, his life story was remarkably straightforward: no car, no house, no girlfriend. In short, a "triple-zero product."
His greatest achievement had been surviving several waves of corporate "optimization"-layoffs-thanks to his tenacious and cheap vitality. But anyone could tell he was a grasshopper at the end of autumn. He wouldn't be hopping around for much longer.
Last night's dinner had been downright tragic. Everyone at the table was a "reservist" on the impending optimization list, drowning their bleak prospects in alcohol.
Old Yu had failed to restrain himself and knocked back a few extra glasses of that piss. And then... on his way home after the gathering, while crossing that goddamn old road, it happened.
His final memory froze on a dump truck that seemed to have charged out of another world.
Its headlights were as fucking bright as the sun undergoing a helium flash; its horn rivaled the intern beside his desk who clacked away at a mechanical keyboard all damn day. Then came the teeth-grating screech of twisting metal and the crack of his own bones shattering... followed by endless pain and dizziness.
So... am I dead? Old Yu's consciousness drifted through the darkness.
But the experience after dying was nothing like he'd imagined! Where was his life flashing before his eyes? Where was the angel coming to collect him, or Ox-Head and Horse-Face coming to drag him away? Failing that, even a system notification-"You have died. Would you like to respawn? (Y/N)"-would do!
Nothing. Absolutely nothing!
Before him was utter darkness. Too dark to see his own hand? No, he couldn't even feel where his "hands" were! His body seemed to have been completely scattered, leaving only a vague little sense of "self" stubbornly thinking away.
What the hell was this? Had the death process bugged out? Or was the server latency so high that his death confirmation hadn't reached the King of Hell yet? Being stuck in limbo was more torturous than just dying outright!
It was like a program suddenly going "Not responding" halfway through execution. He couldn't close it or do anything, only wait for the process to be forcibly terminated.
Fuck! This crappy life simulator can't even get the account deletion process right! Old Yu ranted inwardly.
He had no idea how long he remained stuck in that "Not responding" state. A year? A day? An instant? In this pure void, his sense of time was completely scrambled.
Gradually, though, Old Yu noticed something was off.
He still felt awful, but it wasn't the physical pain of being smashed to pieces. It was a kind of... stifling pressure, as though something had wrapped tightly around him. And he seemed to... still have a fucking "body"?
He couldn't clearly control his limbs or tell his head from his ass, but he could distinctly feel that he "existed."
He could even faintly "hear" a steady, muffled thump-thump.
Was that... a heartbeat?
It wasn't something he heard through his ears, but a resonant sensation transmitted from within.
His surroundings were no longer empty either. Something warm and soft enveloped him, holding him snugly under a gentle pressure.
Wait! This feeling... this setup... His brain, ravaged by over thirty years of code and overtime, instantly accessed its vast database of webnovels. Isn't this the fucking classic opening for reincarnation or transmigration?! Am I starting in the womb?!
At that realization, Old Yu nearly burst into tears of excitement-if he'd had tears. Heaven, or some passing deity, hadn't screwed this loser over completely after all. He'd been given a chance to reboot!
You're awesome, boss! I'm on my knees! Just please don't toss me into some weird world as a slime or a goblin! Give me a human character model, at least! Humanoid works too! Please! Old Yu frantically made wishes in his heart.
As "time" passed, Old Yu's senses improved bit by bit, like a loading bar filling up.
The environment enveloping him became clearer: warm and soft, with occasional rhythmic vibrations from outside.
Those indistinct sounds gradually became distinguishable too. He still couldn't understand them, but their rising and falling cadence was clearly the language of some intelligent species. And they sounded... a little familiar? As though he'd heard them somewhere before, though he couldn't quite remember where.
He could finally "move" a little as well. Not just mentally, but actually make some "limb" perform a tiny movement.
Every time he moved, the "mother" surrounding him responded with delighted tenderness. Her voice reached him through layers of obstruction, muffled but strangely reassuring.
Fine. Since I'm here, I might as well settle in. I was alone in my last life anyway, with no ties holding me back. I'll treat this life as leveling a fresh account! Old Yu quickly adjusted his mindset and even began looking forward to it. I just hope the starter village isn't too much of a scam.
After lying low for another indeterminate stretch, Old Yu had grown accustomed to his leisurely-and boring-fetal life of eating, sleeping, and occasionally moving around to amuse "Mom."
He even began trying to analyze the sounds outside and learn a little "foreign language." Unfortunately, he made little progress. A baby's brain had pitiful processing power.
Then, one day, the peace shattered!
The enclosure around him began contracting and squeezing violently. A clamor of voices came from outside, and that gentle voice grew rapid and shrill.
Holy shit! Am I being born?! Is it my due date already? Old Yu instantly grew nervous. Here we go! Here we go! The gates to the starter village are opening!
What followed was a truly chaotic, torturous ordeal. A powerful force pushed and squeezed him through a narrow passage, while forces and sounds from every direction left him utterly disoriented.
This birth experience deserves a terrible review! One star! Definitely one star! Old Yu furiously spammed mental comments as he was squeezed senseless.
Just as he felt he was about to be flattened into a two-dimensional creature, a tremendous suction came from ahead. Then-
Whoosh!
Intense, blinding light abruptly flooded all his senses!
Only then did he truly, physically "open" his eyes and learn what "before his eyes" actually meant!
I'm finally fucking out!!! Old Yu let out his first inward roar since transmigrating-or reincarnating.
He blinked hard through his blurry vision, trying to adjust to this excessively bright world.
The first thing to lean toward him was a huge face: a smiling middle-aged woman, joy shining from every wrinkle.
Old Yu's heart sank. Tsk... Mom in this life... looks a little... uh... plain.
He couldn't call her ugly, but she was certainly nowhere near a "gorgeous mother." A faint disappointment rose within him.
Forget it. Looks don't matter. Inner beauty is what counts. She's my mother, after all. I have to be a good son! Old Yu worked hard to straighten out his attitude.
Yet just as he finished that mental exercise, the woman deftly and carefully handed his soft little bundle of flesh into the arms of a much younger-and much weaker-woman on another bed nearby.
Sweat-damp hair clung to her pale cheeks, but her features were lovely, and she had an air of gentle grace.
As she looked at Old Yu, tears instantly filled her eyes. Amid her utter exhaustion, her gaze held indescribable joy and love.
With difficulty, she lifted her head and pressed a soft, deeply affectionate kiss to Old Yu's forehead.
Old Yu: *!!!*
He understood! He understood everything!
This beautiful woman was his actual mother! The older woman must have been a midwife or a maid helping out!
I knew it! What woman can jump up and carry a baby right after giving birth? I nearly mistook someone else for my mother. Forgive me, forgive me! Old Yu sighed in relief. At least he hadn't made a fool of himself.
He turned his still-uncooperative little head, trying to inspect his surroundings.
Good. Excellent! Every face he could see had black hair and yellow skin. They were typical East Asians.
Human! We're good! At least I picked the right species! Old Yu felt immensely reassured. This was already a blessing amid misfortune. At least he'd avoided the miserable opening of being born as something inhuman.
Next, the surroundings. The room was fairly large, but the decor... was a little puzzling.
It resembled an old Japanese-style building, with a wooden structure and sliding doors, yet there was clearly an electric light bulb hanging overhead!
Granted, its antiquated design looked straight out of the previous century. A few scattered objects nearby also looked like electrical appliances, though he couldn't tell exactly what they were.
The women around him-probably servants-wore clothing resembling slightly simplified kimonos and chattered away. Old Yu strained his ears to listen.
Hmm... that cadence... that intonation... He furrowed his tiny brows, assuming a baby could make that expression. Why does this sound more and more like Japanese?
In his previous life, he'd been a veteran shut-in who had watched countless videos-in every sense. Though he couldn't speak Japanese, he could recognize its distinctive pronunciation and intonation.
Earlier, he'd been listening from "underwater," through a "wall," while his newly transmigrated brain was still dazed, so it hadn't clicked. Now that he was "ashore," he could hear much more clearly.
Confirmed. It's Japanese, Old Yu decided. So I've been reborn in Japan? Judging by the buildings and clothes, this isn't modern Japan either. It looks like... the early Shōwa era? Or earlier?
He carefully studied his beautiful mother as she held him. She wore plain maternity clothes made from fabric that looked better than the servants' clothing, but certainly wasn't luxurious. The room's furniture mixed traditional and more modern styles, creating a strange sense of mismatched eras.
So... early modern Japan? Before the war? After it? Old Yu's little brain raced, trying to extract more information from the limited clues. If it was before or during the war, he was in serious trouble. That was an age when human lives truly counted for nothing.
Just as his thoughts ran wild and he worried about facing war straight out of the womb-
With a clatter, the door was yanked open.
A figure rushed in with a gust of wind.
He was a tall, straight-backed middle-aged man dressed in a seemingly plain black kimono. His face was resolute and square, his thin lips pressed tight, with deep lines running from his nose to his mouth. He looked stern, yet his brow now showed unmistakable anxiety and... a hint of anticipation?
That presence... those looks... could this be Dad in this life? Old Yu quietly assessed him.
As soon as the handsome older man entered, his gaze swept over Old Yu's weakened mother. He nodded with concern, then eagerly turned his eyes toward Old Yu.
A woman who looked like the head maid hurried forward and said something with a smile, presumably announcing good news along the lines of "It's a boy."
At those words, the handsome older man's expression thawed like melting snow, revealing an unmistakable smile of relief and pride.
He strode to the bedside, first gently squeezing Mom's hand with his large, rough hand and murmuring a few comforting words. Old Yu couldn't understand him, but guessed from his expression.
Hmm, not bad. He knows to check on his wife first. Not a total scumbag. Old Yu gave him a mental thumbs-up.
Then Dad's attention shifted entirely to Old Yu. He carefully lifted him from Mom's arms, his movements slightly stiff but very gentle.
He raised Old Yu before his face, his deep black eyes earnestly studying his freshly delivered darling son. Old Yu stared back with wide, innocent eyes, and father and son shared their first historic meeting of gazes since his transmigration.
After studying him for a while, the handsome older man seemed thoroughly satisfied, especially with Old Yu's supposedly bright, intelligent eyes-which were actually just bewildered. He cleared his throat, his expression becoming exceptionally solemn, and spoke in a low, clear voice, enunciating every syllable:
"Shinki. Uchiha Shinki!"
Old Yu: *???*
What was that? Shinki? Yoo-chee-ha Shinki?
That doesn't sound like anything good! "Shinki" sounds like the Chinese word for scheming, and that isn't a compliment! And what the hell is "Yoo-chee-ha"? Is his surname "Paint"? Does Japan have a surname like that? Or did I mishear him?
He desperately searched his meager store of Japanese knowledge, trying to parse those syllables.
Shinki... Shin... ki...? Yoo-chee-ha... Yu... chi... ha...? Shinki... Shin... ki...?
Wait!
Yu chi ha?!
Yoo-chee-ha?!
Could that fucking be... "Uchiha"?!
Old Yu's heart gave a violent jolt! A chill shot from his nonexistent tailbone straight to the crown of his head!
He suddenly remembered that when his new dad rushed in, the back of that black kimono seemed... seemed to have an embroidered design! He'd only caught a fleeting glimpse and hadn't seen it clearly, merely thinking it looked like a red-and-white lollipop...
A fucking lollipop, my ass! That thing... thinking about it now, it was clearly a red-and-white paper fan!!!
Confirmed! "Yoo-chee-ha" was "Uchiha"!
Yamete!!! Dame!!! he screamed inwardly in despair.
The Uchiha! That infamous clan of "innately evil brats"! They lived in Konoha, a village seemingly bright but seething with hidden currents, beneath the brainwashing halo of the "Will of Fire." Next door was an elderly troublemaking squad-Shimura Danzō and his Root-and the clan itself was a mess. In the end, they couldn't escape the tragic fate of having the traitor Itachi turn the entire clan into murder-mystery victims in a single night!
What kind of starter village was this? This was a fucking abyss dungeon on hell difficulty!
If he'd arrived too early, it was an era of war, when human lives were worth less than dogs'. Too late, and he'd land straight on the night of the massacre, with the Uchiha's oh-so-filial son offering a live demonstration of how to "take on seven at once." Whichever way he looked at it, he was doomed!
He was just a little software engineer who couldn't lift or carry a damn thing. Aside from writing bug-riddled code and occasionally trading political insults on forums, his greatest feat of strength was staying up all night without losing hair... no, wait, he'd lost hair anyway. He was supposed to survive the ninja world? Play mind games with a bunch of inhuman monsters who spat fire and water and dismantled Gundams barehanded?
Fuck this game! I might as well delete the account and start over!
The overwhelming flood of information and despair left Old Yu's tiny head buzzing. His fragile infant nerves seemed unable to bear the strain, and dizziness washed over him. He nearly performed a baby-sized faint on the spot.
Just as his consciousness was about to descend into chaos, and he prepared to escape this cruel reality through sleep-
An exceptionally clear, emotionless electronic notification sounded directly in the depths of his mind:
"Ding-"