Bargaining

Life was getting impossible.

He had woken up full of fighting spirit that morning. After all, he had come back from Metropolis yesterday, called his landlord to get the heating fixed, and then suddenly received a system message that night.

[Changed Waylon Jones's fate to a · degree. Gained 2 skill points.]

Holy shit, two points!

He had jumped right up. He had never had this much to work with in his life, but then deciding how to spend those two points left him stumped.

Based on his gaming experience, it was best to develop one skill tree first and only invest in others once that build came together. But he couldn't resist wanting to see the two remaining skill cards. After agonizing over it for ages, he finally let out a pained shout:

"Fine, I'll pretend all my heartfelt devotion went to the dogs!" Then he gritted his teeth and clicked the two cards with a fist and a meteor in the background.

The fist card held no surprises. As expected, it involved close-combat skills.

[All-Around Expert: Your knowledge and proficiency with most melee weapons and hand-to-hand combat techniques have reached the level of proficient·.]

[Advancement tasks: Straight punches: 0/5000 Snap kicks: 0/5000 Horse stance: 0/5000 Hopping steps: 0/5000

Swing punches: 0/5000 Hook punches: 0/5000 Slashes: 0/5000 Thrusts: 0/5000]

[*Complete all tasks to increase the skill level.]

[*The weapon of criticism cannot replace criticism by weapons!]

But the meteor card wasn't the magic he had imagined. Instead, it unlocked a strange skill.

[Chinese-Style Iai: Justice from above deals devastating blows to your opponents in various forms.]

[*Cooldown: 720 hours. This skill cannot be upgraded.]

[*You've hit the jackpot!]

He had no idea what it meant, but it was still a good thing. Yet somehow, the moment he stepped into the Police Department that morning, his heart felt heavier than if he were visiting a grave.

Li Jie leaned listlessly against the car window, watching Bob's car roll into the parking lot. The door opened, and first came the belly, then the rest of the man squeezed out. Li Jie opened his own door and hopped out, silently following Bob to an old Ford in a corner of the lot.

"Well? Are you ready?"

"That's not up to me. It depends on how well you've prepared." Li Jie yawned. "I got up even earlier than yesterday. You'd better have some good news for me."

"Well, I did my best. This is all of it." Bob smiled and hauled open the Ford's trunk. Three black hard-plastic cases sat neatly inside, with faded police asset numbers printed on them.

"An AR-15, a Remington 1100, two sets of Level III Body Armor, and a few other things."

"What did you say? You actually got them?"

Li Jie reached for the first case and flipped its latches open in one sweep. An AR-15 semiautomatic rifle lay nestled in the black protective foam, its finish a matte charcoal gray. It was so new he could practically smell the gun oil. Beside it sat four neatly arranged magazines loaded with gleaming brass rounds, a tactical red-dot sight, and two dark-green police flashbangs.

"Holy shit, a new gun!"

The cold touch of the barrel sent a thrill through him. The second case held two dark tactical vests, the outlines of thick composite ceramic plates clearly visible in the front and rear pockets. The third contained a semiautomatic Remington 1100 shotgun, its compact barrel radiating menace.

"Fuck, just how much did you squeeze out of them?" Li Jie shook his head in amazement. "Where's the rest?"

"That's it. It's all here." Bob lit a cigarette and answered with a perfectly straight face.

"Cut the crap. If you can give me all this, you must've gotten at least three times its value out of them." Li Jie curled his lip. "Where's the money?"

"Uh... uh... we'll talk about the funding later, but this really is all the equipment." Bob scratched his head awkwardly. "The rest is personnel approvals and stuff. Nothing much to do with you."

"Listen to yourself, boss. This stuff is nice, but it's nowhere near enough. No, don't tell me it's already worth several thousand dollars." Anticipating Bob's objection, he waved it away. "This stuff keeps me alive. It doesn't give me a reason to risk my life. You wouldn't work yourself to death plowing someone's field just because they gave you a new hoe."

"You bastard. Even you're pulling this bargaining shit on me."

Bob took several hard drags on his cigarette, lowering his head as he calculated with a grim expression. After a while, he tossed the butt on the ground and ground it out with several forceful stamps.

"How much do you want?"

Li Jie said nothing. He just held up one finger.

"A thousand? No problem. It's a deal!" Bob immediately broke into a broad smile and spread his arms to hug Li Jie, only for Li Jie to push him away.

"Don't fucking dream. Ten thousand each for the two of us."

"Not a chance! Are you insane? That's twenty thousand dollars altogether. Why should I give you twenty grand?" Bob's face fell instantly. "That's... that's money I secured!"

"Heh. For a job that risks your life like this, street punks charge three thousand, gang enforcers charge five thousand, and veteran cops charge twenty-five to thirty thousand per person." Li Jie stared coldly at the Chief. "Then send your money to pick up the prisoner. Or surely someone else at the precinct comes cheaper?"

"FUCK! FUCK!" Bob paced in several circles, then turned back and glared viciously at Li Jie.

"Five thousand!"

Li Jie said nothing. He shut the trunk and turned to leave.

"Six thousand! Wait, seven thousand. Seven thousand!"

"Fuck! Seven thousand five hundred! Seven thousand five hundred! Each, and not a cent more!" Bob chased after him and grabbed his arm, his face bright red. "I won't give you another penny. If you're still not satisfied, I'd rather put on the body armor and go myself."

"Seven thousand five hundred. And from now on, my training ammunition, fuel, and equipment repairs all go through reimbursement. No blocking the claims. At least, not by you." Li Jie stopped and returned to the Ford.

"Fine! Deal!"

Hearing that those expenses would go through reimbursement made Bob feel much better. But the thought of parting with seventy-five hundred dollars sent waves of pain through him, as though someone were carving out his heart. He couldn't help punching the car hard, then clutched his wrist with a hiss and a grimace.

"Come on, is that really necessary? Between the funding, the authority they're handing down, and Falcone's eventual thank-you gift, you'll make at least a hundred grand out of this." Li Jie stacked the three cases and heaved them into his arms. "What about the tactical van?"

"Falcone... let's finish the job first. Hmm... the tactical van got rejected. That thing's too expensive. They'd never approve it." Bob cradled his hand and slowly worked his joints. "I'm not lying. There's really no chance."

"If you ask me, you didn't cry hard enough. Forget it. A patrol car probably won't do, so let's use mine." Li Jie carried the cases to his vehicle. "But we're clear on this: if it gets damaged, you're buying me a replacement."

"Fine... uh... we'll talk about it when... huh? You bought that antique from Central Headquarters? What have you done to it?" Bob fiddled with the latch on the window panel. With a clang, the panel dropped down into a prep counter. "Fuck, that scared the shit out of me! You actually cook in this thing!"

"It's all because that bastard Wilson converted it like this. I can't just let it go to waste. Approve a permit so I can operate legally while you're at it." Li Jie switched on the electric stove with practiced ease. "Well? Want a taste? I'll treat you to one."

"I knew that kid couldn't be trusted. Good thing I didn't tell him about the assignment in advance, or the whole city would know. You can brief him yourself later." Bob sighed. "It's free, right? Extra meat and extra eggs! I want two!"

"Holy shit, a new gun!"

Wilson opened the case and rubbed his hands excitedly. "Look at this gorgeous baby. And two big boxes of slugs, too. How'd you get these out of that old fat bastard?" Suddenly, he eyed Li Jie's ass suspiciously. "You didn't..."

"Fuck off." Li Jie tossed him the handover paperwork he had just received. "We've got a dangerous assignment this afternoon. We have to go to Central Headquarters and bring back the surviving suspect from that carjacking case we cracked last time. Fish Mooney might ambush us on the way. If you're scared, there's still time to back out."

"Fuck, why would I be scared? Why would Fish Mooney snatch a prisoner? Is she afraid the case will implicate her? No wonder they canceled my leave. I've gotta go squeeze a few hundred bucks out of Bob." Wilson hefted the body armor. "Help me try this on."

"I already negotiated with Bob. Seventy-five hundred each." Li Jie took the vest and unfolded it. "Can that scrawny body of yours carry this?"

"How much?!" Wilson jumped straight up and let out a shrill squeal. "Seven... mmph, mmph..."

"Don't fucking shout, shit!" Li Jie had been ready and clamped a hand over his mouth. He had originally intended to tell him that Fish Mooney was preparing to rebel against The Roman, but he was afraid the news would spread across the city before the morning was out. "Keep it in. You just need to know."

"FUCK. Getting seven thousand dollars out of Bob's pocket? That's harder than landing on the moon." Wilson pressed a hand to his chest and took several deep breaths. "Is there anything you Chinese can't do? I wouldn't even be surprised if you became president of the United States someday."

"Quit fucking around. Check the equipment. We leave for Central Headquarters at noon to pick him up."

"Roger, roger. Heh." Wilson still couldn't quite close his mouth. "Bro, I've got a younger sister. Want to meet her? Her figure..."

"Fuck off!"

"You got it!"

Standing in the main office hall at Central Headquarters, Li Jie looked at the stream of people and the hive of little partitioned cubicles, then sighed.

"This place is fucking huge."

"Ha! Look at you, country bumpkin. Haven't you been here before?" Wilson laughed. "I've been here ages ago."

"No, I've never had business at Central Headquarters." Li Jie scratched his head. He remembered that Wilson had joined the Police Department less than two months ago and had been patrolling with him ever since. "When did you come here?"

"Before I became a cop." Wilson shrugged. "Got arrested a few times. That's pretty much unavoidable when you're in a gang. Hey, Montoya, which officer handles the prisoner transfer paperwork?"

The Latina officer passing by shot him a cold glance, apparently not remembering him. Still, for the sake of his uniform, she pointed toward the middle of the hall.

"Go see Alvarez."

"Thanks!"

Li Jie hadn't expected Wilson to know anyone here. "You know her?"

"She arrested me. Haven't seen her in years. Seems like she's gotten prettier?" Wilson smiled and walked toward the officer Montoya had pointed out. "Hey, Alvarez. We're here for the transfer."

"Oh..." The officer at the desk took the paperwork from Wilson without expression, stared at it for a while, then told them to wait there and rose woodenly to head upstairs.

The place was roughly four times the size of the Eastern District Precinct and packed with all sorts of people. Voices, the electrical hum of the lights, and ringing phones blended into an enormous mass of noise that made his head buzz.

The two carefully avoided their colleagues escorting suspects through the hall and gradually backed toward a corner. As they stood there bored out of their minds, a voice suddenly came from nearby.

"Mr. Nygma, you left this on my desk."

!!

"Quick!" Li Jie's eyes lit up, and he tugged Wilson along. The two sneaked behind a pillar and pricked up their ears.

"It's a riddle." That was Nygma's voice.

"A riddle? It's a cupcake with a bullet sticking out of it." The woman's voice sounded a little impatient. Li Jie quietly craned his head for a look. She was about twenty-five or twenty-six, plainly dressed and reasonably attractive. She looked a little like... a female classmate who got slightly above-average grades?

"It's... it's a riddle. The cupcake is sweet, and the bullet is deadly..."

Nygma persisted, but the young woman was already losing patience. "It's not a riddle. And it's frightening, bizarre, and not fit to eat." She shook her head and strode off, leaving Nygma standing there dejected and embarrassed.

He glanced around, hoping none of his colleagues had noticed, only to hear a string of strange noises.

"Psst, psst."

Following the sound, he saw two men behind a pillar by the entrance, pulling faces and beckoning insistently. His face instantly turned bright red.

"Ed, your flirting game is terrible." Li Jie pulled him behind the pillar too and raised his eyebrows at him. "The stuff you're telling her is too complicated. Women don't go for that."

"Jay, what are you doing here?" Caught in the act, Nygma could barely get his tongue to work. "I... Miss Collinge and I... we're just... just colleagues. Besides, it was only a very simple riddle."

"Ed, it's only simple to you. That's like a mathematics professor giving an elementary school kid a calculus problem. You're the smartest person in this city. You can't compare ordinary people's intelligence to yours." Li Jie curled his lip. "That whole... 'the cupcake is sweet' thing... if you asked me to guess, my answer would be a stage-three diabetic chugging sugary cola..."

"At least I know you're not ordinary. I can never guess what answer you're going to come up with." Nygma shook his head helplessly. "Miss Collinge... she's different."

"There's nothing different about her. She's the cautious, ordinary type. Guys who stand out can win her over pretty easily." Li Jie thought for a moment. "Show her something different about yourself."

"Something different? But you just said..."

"Something she can understand. For example, Edward Nygma analyzes evidence, uncovers a lead, and solves a major case, earning praise and a promotion. She probably won't understand how you found the lead or analyzed the evidence. She'll only understand that you got praised and promoted, so whatever you did must have been impressive."

Li Jie patted Nygma on the shoulder. "You need to impress her through simple, familiar social achievements, not complicated, highly specialized expertise."

He turned to Wilson, who hadn't said anything. "Well? Am I right?"

"Right, my ass." Wilson snorted. "If you ask me, go sleep with a couple of girls with big asses, and you'll realize there are plenty of women in this world better than her. Hey, I'm Darnell Wilson, Eastern District Precinct. His partner."

"Hi." Nygma reached out and shook his hand, then turned back to Li Jie. "What about you, Jay? How do you pursue women?"

"Him? Ha! You actually believe his bullshit?" Wilson looked at the slightly embarrassed Li Jie and burst out laughing. "He's probably still a virgin."