Equipment problems

"Huh? You're saying you can't make this thing any smaller?" Li Jie stared glumly at the recorder in his hand, barely half the size of his palm, then glanced at his colleague from the technical unit. "Steven, you're the best technician in the department. Surely you can think of something."

"Save the flattery. You know I'm a police technician, not the next Edison." Steven answered lazily, waving a hand to stop Li Jie from reaching for his wallet. "I'd like to make a little extra money too, but I really can't do it this time. Besides, it's already small enough to hide in a sleeve or pocket. Why do you need it that tiny? Planning to meet a suspect in the shower?"

"Uh..." Li Jie scratched his head. He could hardly admit that he wanted to stick the recording equipment onto a rat. "I just thought smaller would be safer."

"Unless you plan to strip naked and smuggle it in up your ass, the current size is fine." Steven opened the safe and took out a device the size of a matchbox. "Smaller ones do exist. This is a recently released digital recorder, something the department bought to look impressive. No tapes at all, just digital file storage... never mind, you wouldn't understand. All you need to know is that it's expensive. The device and storage card cost over thirty-five hundred dollars."

Fuck, I wouldn't understand? One look at the screen on my crappy phone from before I transmigrated would scare you to death!

In a fit of rage, Li Jie smiled at him. "Well, sorry for the trouble."

Forget it. The thing was far too expensive, especially since he needed more than one. He returned to the main office and saw Alan dutifully going through case files at his desk. Walking over, he asked quietly, "Have you seen the Chief today?"

"He went out with two people. I think they were visiting some officers? Sorry, sir, I wasn't really paying attention."

"It's fine. No need to be nervous." Li Jie patted his shoulder and motioned for him to sit down. It looked like Bob had started moving too. He needed to pick up the pace on his end.

He went to the parking lot, took out his phone, and dialed a number. A voice tinged with pleasant surprise soon came from the other end.

"Born humble, housed in a tiny box,

Clothed in wood, crowned with burning heat.

One heartbeat kindles the light of life;

One sacrifice grants another rebirth.

Who am I?"

"Ha! Ed, this one's easy." Li Jie was excited too. At last, a riddle he could solve. "The answer is a match."

"Uh... that's true, but could you try thinking a little deeper?"

"A little deeper? Then... a lighter?"

"Whew... a hero, Jay," Nygma said with a hint of resignation. "You've become the hero a lot of officers are talking about."

"Nobody asked about me when I was trading bullets with people. Donate fifty grand, and suddenly I'm a hero. What a fucking honor." Li Jie snorted. "What about you, Ed? How are things with that girl... Miss Kringle?"

"Uh... uh..." The voice on the other end suddenly began to stammer. "I think things are going well. I think she... she..."

Nygma's voice dropped abruptly. "She... might also... like me?"

"Tsk, tsk. They ought to put you on a playing card." Li Jie silently curled his lip. "Can you talk right now? I need a favor. Do you know anyone who can modify or build miniature recording equipment?"

"I'm alone in the evidence room right now," Nygma answered. "Modify miniature recording equipment? How small?"

"Hmm... small enough for a rat to drag it close to a target without being noticed, then quietly drag it back afterward... just assume I have a rat that can follow instructions. A colleague at the East End station said there are digital devices, but they're too expensive."

"A rat? Then ideally... no more than twenty grams." Nygma thought for a moment. "I'll make you a prototype before tonight. Wait for my call."

"You can do that too? Ed, seriously, as long as women aren't involved, you're an absolute, absolute genius." Li Jie sighed with heartfelt admiration. "I can teach you how to pick up girls next time."

"No, thank you. I'd rather learn from your partner."

"Uh..."

Li Jie had wanted to argue, but when he remembered Wilson still groping women and cuddling one on either side even in the hospital, all his words dissolved into a sigh.

"...You couldn't be more right."

He left the station, bought a few things in Chinatown, then headed straight to the charity clinic.

The moment he entered, the nurse at reception hurriedly called the office in alarm. After all, he had beaten up the director's former lover right there last time, though it was hard to say whether the two still had feelings for each other. Now he had a long box tucked under his arm and was heading upstairs as if he owned the place. Who knew what was inside?

Doctor Thompkins, however, wasn't particularly afraid. She was genuinely compassionate, not some sanctimonious hypocrite. If she scared easily, she wouldn't have opened this charity clinic in the face of pressure from every direction to do her best to help the poor. After receiving the warning from reception, she left her office and intercepted Li Jie in the hallway.

"Officer, what are you doing here again?"

"Uh..." Li Jie pulled out the box under his arm and offered it to her. "I'm sorry about the confrontation here yesterday. A small gift, as a token of my apology."

"Oh... well, thank you!"

Western women generally responded well to this sort of thing, and Thompkins's attitude softened. She picked it up and examined it carefully. "Black tea and a tea set... Jim told me you gave Falcone the same thing?"

"How could that be?" Li Jie immediately denied it. "The one I gave Falcone was much more expensive."

"You really are... an honest man." Thompkins smiled too. "Are you here to see Harper and Karen? They're probably taking a nap."

"No, I was just passing by. There's no need to wake them." Li Jie searched his pockets and pulled out an envelope. "Please give this to Officer Gordon."

"This is..."

Thompkins felt the envelope. There seemed to be cards like credit cards inside. Her brows drew together. "Are you trying to bribe him?"

"No. Just like yours, it's a gift to express my apologies."

Li Jie opened the envelope and took out two cards to show Doctor Thompkins. "A membership card for the Police Association Benefit Store and one for Lucia Children's Bookstore."

"Oh, you even prepared a gift for Barbara." Thompkins's tone immediately turned cold. "Or are you trying to send him a reminder this way?"

"Of course not." Li Jie sighed. Talking to these people was exhausting. "Honestly, I admire Officer Gordon. He's one of the few good people in Gotham. Besides, he was the one who provided backup during that shootout a few days ago, so I'm grateful to him and don't want things between us to get too ugly. But I also really dislike the way he handles things. Something that could easily be resolved often turns into a complete mess because of his idealistic approach."

"Uh..."

Doctor Thompkins fell silent for a moment at his words. As though remembering something, she gave a wry smile.

"Yes, I know exactly what you mean. But... that isn't what you need to worry about right now. The twenty-four-hour deadline is almost up. I have to report to CPS immediately, though I can hold them off for three days with a medical report."

She returned to her office, retrieved several documents, and handed them to Li Jie. "These are your copies. Are you ready?"

"It'll work out. Thank you, Doctor."

After leaving the hospital, he found a car dealership, intending to get a cheap used car. Driving a police car was still too conspicuous. Although it was common practice in Gotham, it would be a nuisance if Internal Affairs decided to make trouble over it.

Following the principle of fleecing strangers halfway and fleecing acquaintances all the way, the dealer insisted on asking twenty thousand dollars for a Cherokee with three deaths to its name. Only after Li Jie said he planned to call people from the department to check the provenance of his cars did the man honestly quote a price of twenty-five hundred.

Li Jie paid, then made him thoroughly inspect the car and replace the tires in the name of after-sales service. He didn't particularly care about the deaths. Those were a Gotham specialty. What poor person's car didn't have a few to its name?

After running all over town that day, by the time he met Nygma at the Gotham Police Department that evening, he collapsed into a chair in the evidence room and didn't want to move a muscle.

"What happened to you?"

"Nothing. Have you had dinner?"

"Not yet. I just finished assembling what you wanted. Want a look?" Looking rather pleased with himself, Nygma handed him a device half the size of a lighter, then rubbed his hands and watched Li Jie expectantly. "It's nothing special, really. I just took apart two hearing aids and a digital watch, added some scrapped equipment from the evidence room and a hand-wound microcassette. It can record about thirty minutes."

"OMG! OMG!" Li Jie raised both hands high, then bent sharply at the waist and slapped his ankles. "What brought light into this world? Your wisdom, Ed!" He straightened and pointed at the sky outside the window. "Do you see those stars? Those great kings... the great sage Nygma watches over us from up there!"

Nygma shook his head and stopped Li Jie's antics with a resigned look. "Jay, you know I've seen that movie too, right? What comes next isn't exactly flattering."

"Don't sweat the details. But seriously, having you work as a forensic technician is such a waste. It's a loss for all humanity." Li Jie carefully tucked the device into his jacket pocket. "Come on. Let me buy you something to eat."

"Anything's fine." Nygma took his coat off the rack. "What do you need this thing for? You aren't really planning to put together some kind of cat, dog, and rat spy team, are you? Historically, both the Soviet Union and America spent enormous amounts of money and time trying to..."

"If... forget it. Come on, let's go." Li Jie waved a hand. "I'll tell you once we're out of the station. I don't think anyone here except you is trustworthy."

They hurried into the newly purchased used car. As Li Jie started the engine, he told Nygma about Otis and Harper and her brother. After listening, however, Nygma merely nodded silently, then shook his head.

"Jay, I think you're overcomplicating this. You realize that even if your rat-catcher friend and rat agents follow your instructions with perfect precision, how can you know when those people will discuss their crimes? Time isn't going to wait for you!"

He stroked his chin, tapping four fingers against his cheek. "CPS isn't some powerful agency. Some matters are urgent, others can wait. If all you want is to stop them taking Harper and her brother away, just put on a mask, intercept the caseworker on his way home, and press a gun or knife under his chin. I guarantee he'll agree to your demands."

"Just... just like that?" Li Jie stared at him, dumbfounded. "That's way too..."

"Too crazy?" Nygma smiled faintly. "For other places, yes. But it's different here, Jay. Have you forgotten? This is Gotham. Of course, you'd have to do it cleanly."

"Holy shit, how did you come up with that? Every time I talk to you, I feel like an idiot!" Li Jie scratched his head hard several times. "Seriously, would you like to transfer to the Eastern District Precinct? There's no forensics unit, but I can have Chief Bob set one up for you. If you want, you can double as the medical examiner too, or even the technical supervisor."

"Then you'd have to pay me at least three salaries. But... never mind. Most people here are idiots, but... I doubt the Eastern District Precinct would be any different."

"At least I could solve riddles with you?"

"Oh!" Nygma covered his face. "Please don't bring up your riddle-solving skills."

"Well... there's Wilson too... Miss Kringle wouldn't be there, but he'd definitely introduce you to plenty of girls." Li Jie leaned closer. "Besides, if you earn honors or achieve something at the Eastern District Precinct, wouldn't your Miss Kringle see you in a whole new light?"

He stroked his cheek and said in a high-pitched voice, "Oh, Ed, I regret not getting to know you sooner! You'll forgive me, won't you?" Then he planted his hands on his hips and shouted in a man's voice, "Dream on, bitch. You used to ignore me. Now I'm out of your league."

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" Nygma waved his hands repeatedly, cutting off Li Jie's performance. "Jay, let me think... give me some time to think..."

"No problem." Li Jie sat up straight and hit the gas, sending the car shooting forward. "But before that, put that genius brain of yours to work. What should we get to eat?"