Though the temperature was still low, Metropolis had none of Gotham's damp chill. Li Jie sat on a streetside bench, basking in the bright afternoon sun as he stuffed the last slice of pizza into his mouth.
As he left the building, Clark caught up with him to exchange business cards. Only then did he realize that they had been so engrossed in their conversation that neither had thought of it. In the end, Lois had shooed "two men who couldn't handle basic adult business" into completing the social formalities.
Since he felt too awkward to mooch a meal off them, he had to keep his own meal cheap. He glanced down at the cardboard box by his feet. Perhaps his casual clothes looked too shabby, because someone had tossed seven or eight coins into it. But with his thick skin, he felt no shame at all. If anything, he felt he had come out ahead.
Just as he brushed off his clothes and prepared to catch the bus, his phone rang with a chirpy little tune. The moment he answered, an enthusiastic greeting came through, drawn out to ridiculous length.
"Heeeey, brother! My brother in arms, who braved life and death with me! Miss me?"
Wilson's exuberant voice came over the phone, but unsolicited kindness always came with an agenda. An ominous feeling suddenly crept over Li Jie.
"Did you forget to go to the auction?"
"How could I? Fuck, is that what you think of me? I'm at the auction right now. Uh..." Wilson paused. "I even snagged you a great car!"
??
"Didn't I tell you to call me first?" His sense of foreboding deepened. "You didn't buy me some piece of junk, did you?"
"You don't trust me? Brother, that hurts! Eighteen hundred dollars for a Chevrolet G20. You won't find a better bargain anywhere."
A Chevrolet G20?
The model sounded familiar, but he couldn't place it right away. Still, that price seemed far too low.
"Are you sure that thing still runs?"
"Of course! Plenty of room, great value, powerful engine. I'm sitting in it right now. Listen to that beautiful roar. Sure, the mileage is pretty high. You know it wouldn't be this cheap otherwise. The tires and engine will need a thorough checkup."
A rumbling came through the phone. Li Jie still had plenty of doubts, but it didn't sound as though anything was wrong.
"All right, thanks, brother. I'm still across the bay. Once I catch the last ferry back, I'll definitely... wait!"
As he talked, his gaze wandered over his surroundings. Suddenly, a produce delivery van across the street caught his attention. "Robert's Fresh and Delicious" was printed on its side.
Chevrolet G20...
"What the fuck! Wilson, you son of a bitch, you bought me a cargo van?!"
The price really wasn't bad. He might even have gotten a bargain. But other transmigrators bought luxury cars and picked up beautiful women, or tore down the streets in intimidating, high-powered muscle cars. Meanwhile, he would be stuck miserably driving a cargo van like a delivery guy. He might even end up branching out into the moving business. At the thought, his vision went dark and his future looked bleak.
"What the hell did you do? How did you end up buying this thing?"
"Uh... brother... uh... calm down," Wilson said, sounding guilty. "Promise you'll forgive me first, okay? We're partners who've been through a hail of bullets together."
"I swear on your grandmother's fucking skull. Now tell me what happened!"
"Well... I got up a little late this morning. You know, handling two at once... okay, I'll get to the point." Wilson quickly cut himself off. "By the time I reached the precinct parking lot, someone had already bought the Crown Victoria. There was also a Suburban with about sixty percent of its life left and a confiscated Dodge Ram, but you definitely couldn't afford either. And if I came back empty-handed, your three hundred bucks for jumping the queue would have gone down the drain. So I... bought the last vehicle left. Hello... hello... brother, you okay?"
Li Jie said nothing. He just sat on the bench and let out a long, deep sigh.
The journey back to Gotham was just as long as the trip out, if not longer. Li Jie felt as though the rocking cabin had shaken every wrinkle out of his brain. He wasn't in a hurry anyway, so after getting off the ferry, he sat by the roadside for quite a while. His legs still felt unsteady.
"Fuck. I'm never getting on a boat again."
It was as though the city's sunlight had suddenly vanished. The air was damp and cold. He watched the bustling crowd on the dock gradually disperse, then stood and ambled toward the bus stop opposite. Before he could cross the street, a white van came up honking all the way and screeched to a halt in front of him.
The window cranked down, revealing Wilson's shifty-looking face.
"How did you know I was here?"
"Last ferry, right?" Wilson jumped out and tossed Li Jie the keys. "Your ride!"
"My... did you take it in for repairs this afternoon?" He circled the van. At least from the outside, it looked passable.
"Yep. Honestly, we got ourselves a bit of a bargain." Wilson hammered the bodywork with his fist. Instead of the clatter of sheet metal, it gave a dull thud. "The precinct confiscated this van, then requisitioned it to haul supplies and materials. Sometimes prisoners and corpses, too. But I knew you wouldn't care about that."
"That's true." Li Jie curled his lip. "Poverty's a lot scarier than ghosts or corpses."
"Knew it. After they requisitioned it, they had it modified with bulletproof steel plates and glass." Wilson walked around, knocking on the doors as well. "The tires were replaced just two years ago. But it's done a hundred and eighty thousand kilometers, and the engine and transmission were about shot, so I had the equipment guys get reliable replacements installed at a garage they know. A thousand dollars. Out of the thirty-six hundred you gave me, that leaves..."
He suddenly stalled, pulled a stack of bills from his jacket, and started counting.
"Eight hundred... right?"
Wilson handed over the money uncertainly. Li Jie pocketed it and patted his shoulder. "Thanks. Hearing you put it that way, this van actually sounds pretty good. Come on, let's get something to eat. My treat."
"Wait, you haven't seen my ultimate modification yet!"
The instant those words left his mouth, that old sense of foreboding surged back yet again. Li Jie reached out to cover Wilson's mouth, but it was too late. Wilson opened the back and sprang inside. Two little clacks followed, then a clang as a long rectangular metal panel in the side folded inward and lay flat, becoming a simple tabletop. Then something inside slid along a track with a swish, coming to rest beneath the opening.
Li Jie stared, dumbfounded, still trying to understand what he was seeing. Wilson turned a knob, and a cluster of flames whooshed up.
"Holy shit! Are you fucking insane?!" Li Jie nearly jumped out of his skin. "What is that thing? A propane tank?! You put it inside the van?!"
"That's the genius of my design. We can apply to use this van for patrols and get the fuel reimbursed." Wilson poked his head through the side opening, looking immensely pleased with himself. "You're such a great cook. We can fry dumplings or make fried rice in the van at lunchtime, and sell some on the side. No more eating those damned pretzels!"
"...fried dumplings..."
Li Jie repeated the words a few times, his eyes vacant. Then he suddenly jumped up and slapped Wilson on the head. "I'll fry your fucking grandmother!"
Watching Wilson clutch his head miserably, he couldn't help sighing again.
"What's done is done. Let's eat first."
"Hey, why can't I have the spicy chicken?"
At the Liu Quanfu Restaurant in Chinatown, Wilson held his chopsticks and asked in disbelief.
"Oh, because the chicken in this dish is fried. It represents your people's history of suffering. If I let you eat it, you'd think I was being racist." Li Jie dragged the plate in front of himself. "I'll take care of it for you."
"WTF? If that counts as racism..." Wilson yanked the plate back to the middle of the table, picked up two large pieces, and dumped them into his bowl. "Please be as racist as you like."
Li Jie smiled. He had gone a little too hard on the Four Joy meatballs earlier, so he lifted his bowl and noisily sipped his noodle broth. Just then, his phone rang with an unfamiliar number. He hurriedly sucked in the noodle dangling from his mouth and tapped the answer button with his pinky knuckle.
"Who's this?"
"Uh... Jay?"
The voice coming through wasn't particularly familiar. Li Jie hesitated, then suddenly remembered. He quickly wiped his hands with a napkin and picked up the phone.
"Ed?"
"Hey, it's me." The man on the other end seemed to relax, only to grow nervous again. "I heard Gora filed a complaint against you guys with the precinct yesterday?"
"Oh, probably. Must've been yesterday morning. I wasn't there anyway," Li Jie said carelessly. "But Bob chewed him out. No big deal."
"Oh, that's good. But I'm sorry I caused you trouble. Really, if it weren't for you, they might have suspended me. Uh..." Nygma didn't seem comfortable speaking this way, and stumbled over his words. "Anyway, thank you. And I'm really sorry."
"It's nothing, Ed. We already knew each other, didn't we? Besides, that Gora guy started yelling at me the moment he got out of the car. Fuck him." Li Jie waved off Wilson's questioning look. "Don't worry about the details. As long as everyone's okay. Oh, my partner and I are eating in Chinatown. Want to join us?"
"Ah... oh, no, I've eaten," Nygma said, sounding relieved. "But I heard something else. You might need to be careful. For some reason, Major Crimes is planning to send the prisoner transport hijacking case back to the Eastern District Precinct."
Huh?
Sending the case back meant they wouldn't get any of the accompanying honors or credit. Spitting out a prize that was already in their mouths? Peter Grogan was no pushover. Even if James Gordon was honest and selfless, at most he would bring the two of them onto the podium with him, not hand everything back untouched.
Unless... there were too many bones in this meat to swallow.
"Hey! Hey!"
Li Jie came back to himself and found Wilson knocking on the table and calling to him. "What's wrong? You've been staring into space ever since you answered."
"Thanks, Ed," he said, ignoring Wilson. "I'll keep an eye out. I'll come play some riddle games with you when I have time."
The voice on the other end suddenly grew much brighter. "Why don't we try one now? I'll ask..."
"How many steps does it take to put an elephant in a refrigerator?" Afraid Nygma would launch into another long, bizarre riddle, Li Jie quickly threw one out first to shut him up. Apparently unused to that sort of brainteaser, Nygma was caught off guard.
"How many steps... let me think... if the refrigerator symbolizes cold, cruel death..."
"Okay, Ed, let me know when you've figured it out." After a few polite words, Li Jie hurriedly hung up. Wilson gave him a puzzled look. "What happened?"
"Someone at Central Headquarters was asking about the medical examiner's complaint." He didn't mention the case. After all, they were only planning to return it. If Wilson went blabbing everywhere, it would cause trouble for Nygma.
"Don't worry about it. Bob will handle him." Wilson dropped his chopsticks on the table and went to get two more bottles of beer. "What was that you said about an elephant?"
"Just a little riddle. The question is, how many steps does it take to put an elephant in a refrigerator? Think you can figure it out?" Li Jie curled his lip. "Just focus on eating."
"What's so hard about that? Open the door, put it in, close the door. Three steps!"
"Huh?!" Li Jie was startled. "How did you come up with that?"
"What kind of riddle is that? That's exactly what I did to get the beer. But speaking of Central Headquarters, I almost forgot." Wilson popped the cap off a bottle and took several deep swigs. "Remember when we were on the road yesterday, and I told you I'd seen a guy pulling an ATM with his bare hands? You bastard used it as an excuse to say I was on drugs."
"What else? Your imagination isn't that wild when you're sober."
"I'm serious. Harvey Bullock and James Gordon from Central Headquarters found the guy yesterday."
"Wow," Li Jie exclaimed without a shred of sincerity. "Congratulations to Central Headquarters on two more fallen heroes, then. That bastard Loeb can pocket two death benefits."
"No." Wilson raised a finger and wagged it. "Apparently the guy took some new drug that made him as strong as a gorilla. But the stuff's seriously weird. It burns up the... what was it, in his bones?" He scratched his head. "I forgot. Some element, anyway. Once it was all burned up, his whole body collapsed like ash."
"So what?" Li Jie lifted his glass toward Wilson. "Didn't Bob tell us? Let those heroes at Central Headquarters charge into battle. We should mind our own business and make more money. Oh, come check out the market in Old Town with me later."
"Old Town? Why go shopping this late?"
"That propane tank should fetch at least thirty bucks. I don't want to accidentally get blown sky-high."
Before you continue