Sitting in the carriage, Uzumaki Gamu snarked, "Well, well, asleep already? Sleeping pretty soundly, too... Hehe, treasure this while you can. Your suffering has only just begun!"
Inside Uzumaki Gamu, Son Goku asked in confusion, "You had the chance just now. Why didn't you kill him?"
"Killing a monster like that outright would be letting him off too easily! If I don't make him experience the agony of being unable to live or die, I'd be letting down all the ordinary people who died because of him!" Uzumaki Gamu answered scornfully.
After he started impersonating the Little Emperor, Uzumaki Gamu's first target had been that villainous minister!
He had spent the day ordering him around on every pretext just to torment him. Of course, that wasn't all Uzumaki Gamu had done-he had also sent ten clones to investigate the entire Imperial Capital. The minister's enormous mansion received particular attention: several clones scouted it out, learning its layout and who lived there. One especially noteworthy detail was that Uzumaki Gamu had used Genjutsu to control the minister's butler and extract inside information-such as who deserved to die and who was merely a servant!
Once he had learned all that, it was time for tonight's operation-by day, he was the arrogant, extravagant, debauched heir to the Empire's throne; by night, he donned a mask and became a righteous vigilante, punishing villains and rooting out evil. Wasn't that just Batman? So Uzumaki Gamu had gone straight for a Batman cosplay! (Uzumaki Gamu: I've wanted to cosplay Batman for ages! Too bad this outfit was made with the Transformation Technique. I can't use any of it like Batman does~~ Will I ever get a chance to visit the DC universe and pick up some real Batman gear? Author: You will. The Injustice Universe is waiting for you! Objective: kill Injustice Superman! Uzumaki Gamu: ...Just say so if you want to get me killed!)
After becoming the Dark Knight, Uzumaki Gamu went after the minister he had spent all day ordering around! He used the Bringer-of-Darkness Technique to torment his mind, then cut off his right arm to torment his body-a two-pronged approach to teach him pain! (Uzumaki Gamu: This world shall know pain!!)
While hurting the minister, Uzumaki Gamu also purged his entire estate-everyone on the butler's kill list was executed! Those who were innocent or guilty of only minor offenses were taken outside the Imperial Capital by his clones and dismissed, so the minister couldn't execute them afterward. He even gave them some severance money before they left. If they had any brains, they would know to flee far away and live somewhere under new identities.
If they refused to listen, returned to the Imperial Capital, and were punished afterward... then they had brought death upon themselves!
Of course, this was only the beginning! Uzumaki Gamu had a whole package of wicked plans lined up to make the minister experience the despair his victims had felt before dying!
After learning what Uzumaki Gamu had in mind, Shukaku remarked, "Kid, aren't you being a little extreme?"
"How is that extreme? I don't think it's extreme enough~ His crimes are enough to earn him life in hell. Forgiving their sins is Yama's responsibility. My job is to send them to meet him!" Uzumaki Gamu said.
Shukaku agreed. "True. This fellow deserves everything he's getting!"
"Of course, my main reason for torturing him is that it's fun. I love tormenting bad guys!" Uzumaki Gamu said with a grin.
All three Tailed Beasts fell silent-was this kid a bit of a psychopath?
How did tormenting bad people make someone a psychopath? Using a golf club to disgust players-that was psychopathic!
And so Uzumaki Gamu returned to the palace to rest. He did, however, leave a clone hidden in the minister's mansion to keep tabs on him!
Just like that, another day passed!
At noon the next day! The Hall of Mental Cultivation... no, the palace's main hall.
"Yaaawn... This is kind of boring!" Uzumaki Gamu, seated on the throne-we would stop calling him the Little Emperor from here onward-was bored out of his mind!
Being emperor was duller than he had imagined!
Ultimately, being emperor was a job, and a very boring one at that. Under normal circumstances, when nothing unusual happened, an emperor simply worked according to his regular schedule!
For an example, let's look at Emperor Yongzheng's daily schedule!
03:00-05:00, hour of the Tiger
Rise and wash up (cold water to wake the mind; avoid hot water).
Recite the "Sacred Instructions" or the veritable records of previous reigns (reinforce principles of governance).
05:00-07:00, hour of the Rabbit
Hold court at the palace gate (the Gate of Heavenly Purity or the Hall of Mental Cultivation, without fail).
Review and critique the Ministry of Revenue's fiscal memorials and the Ministry of Justice's autumn assize cases.
Make decisions on the spot, demanding "swift deliberation and swift reports."
07:00-09:00, hour of the Dragon
Breakfast (simple: rice porridge and pickles; no extravagance).
Summon the grand councilors (dictate decrees, with Zhang Tingyu taking notes).
09:00-13:00, hours of the Snake and Horse
Review memorials (vermilion annotations often exceeded a thousand characters, such as "That is the sort of man I am" on Tian Wenjing's memorial).
Spot-check palace examination papers (personally mark the highest-ranked submissions).
13:00-15:00, hour of the Ram
Take a short nap (in the warm chamber of the Hall of Mental Cultivation, with paper and brush beside the pillow).
Summon officials submitting secret memorials (such as Li Wei and Ertai, who secretly reported official misconduct).
15:00-19:00, hours of the Monkey and Rooster
Inspect the imperial workshops and granaries (surprise inspections; punish corruption and malfeasance).
Review the "Diaries of Activity and Repose" (revise unfavorable accounts of himself).
19:00-21:00, hour of the Dog
Give the princes evening lessons (test Hongli on the "Book of Documents"; scold Hongzhou for neglecting his studies).
Reply to secret memorials (write vermilion annotations by lamplight: "Do not let a single person know of this").
21:00-03:00, hours of the Pig, Rat, and Ox
Continue reviewing memorials or writing books (much of the Record of Great Righteousness Awakening the Deluded was written during this period).
Retire to bed (often sleep fully dressed, ready for urgent military dispatches).
As we could see, emperors were no different from corporate drones! Well, workaholics like Yongzheng were rare even throughout history, so using him as an example was a little unfair!
But diligent emperors weren't much less busy than Yongzheng-either way, they had plenty to do!
This also led to a fairly common phenomenon: diligent emperors generally had short reigns and died young, while lazy ones enjoyed absurdly long battery life. Yes, I meant those Ming emperors. Of course, there were plenty of counterexamples, too. And diligence didn't necessarily mean competence. Some people wrecked their countries more the harder they worked; they would have been better off being lazy~ Nor did laziness mean incompetence-a certain Daoist spent every day refining elixirs and pursuing immortality, yet still maintained his grip on court affairs~ Yes, that meant Jiajing. (How well he governed the country was another matter~)
The Little Emperor was also determined to govern well! He idolized his late father and hoped to become an emperor worthy of the title, a great and enlightened ruler just like him. He had therefore always held himself to strict standards, working diligently every day and studying earnestly.
That was why the minister had been so astonished to hear Uzumaki Gamu say, "Keep the music playing and the dancing going. I've been emperor my whole life-can't I enjoy myself?" He really had been such a good boy before!
It was rather tragic-too young to wield real power and without loyal ministers to support him, he had left an opening for the treacherous Honest, who turned him into an easily manipulated puppet. Everything he did ran completely counter to his ideals!
For that reason, Uzumaki Gamu hadn't planned to kill the Little Emperor outright. Instead, he left his life or death to fate! Whether the Revolutionary Army eventually caught and executed him, or he escaped by luck and scraped out a living in this world... that was entirely up to heaven!
After all, Uzumaki Gamu didn't consider himself some righteous judge. He targeted the minister purely because tormenting him was entertaining!
In conclusion, Uzumaki Gamu's alignment was chaotic good! (The chaotic good alignment champions freedom, justice, and love. Its adherents are bound by neither authority nor rules, viewing traditions and regulations skeptically because they believe these things can restrict people's freedom and happiness. Chaotic good people are usually rebellious and freedom-loving, fighting for justice and truth in their own way.)
Right, back to the point. Following the Little Emperor's regular schedule bored Uzumaki Gamu terribly. And since the minister couldn't enter the palace with his injured arm, a great source of entertainment was missing! On top of that, this damned throne was so hard it hurt his backside. Uzumaki Gamu didn't want to sit here anymore!
Uzumaki Gamu thought, Well, I only wanted to try it out... Being a good emperor really is exhausting, but being a foolish ruler or a tyrant should be fun. Of course... the consequences would be pretty interesting, too! What consequences? Death, naturally~
Well, I've had my experience. Time to get down to business! Tormenting the minister is only one part of it. There's something else I need to do! Tormenting bad people was merely Uzumaki Gamu's twisted hobby. There was another very important reason he hadn't killed the minister outright-he needed to round up all his cronies!
Evil had to be eradicated completely, or it was meaningless!
Honest was a powerful minister, and his cronies were no pushovers either. If they survived, they would threaten whatever new regime arose even after the Empire fell! For the sake of the ordinary people, he had to wipe them all out!
At this point, someone might ask: even if you killed all these people, wouldn't more villains emerge to harm the world as long as humanity remained unchanged?
Indeed, unless humanity as a whole changed, another minister would appear. But that was a problem for the future! Killing all these bastards now could at least buy ordinary people ten or twenty years, several decades... with a little luck, perhaps even a century of peace!
I'm only human. I can't think that far ahead. I'll just do what's in front of me! With that thought, Uzumaki Gamu went into action. His first task was to kill Oka, captain of the Imperial Capital Guard!
Part of the minister's earlier description of Oka had been accurate-nicknamed "Ghost Oka," he was feared by many criminals.
In reality, however, he colluded with an oil merchant to make enormous illegal profits, framing and killing many innocent people. He was a thoroughly evil man, someone who had to die!
Still, simply killing him would be letting him off a little too easily, so Uzumaki Gamu had devised something special... A good show was coming!
-Preparing Ninja Tools-
At Imperial Capital Guard headquarters, Oka was directing the entire force's search for Night Raid!
Oka was under tremendous pressure!
An emperor's word was law-once spoken, it couldn't be changed!
Oka had spent years navigating officialdom, and he could tell at a glance whether the Little Emperor was serious. If he couldn't catch anyone from Night Raid, he really would be killed!
Oka thought, I only brought up Night Raid to buy myself time, but all I got was three days... If they could be caught in three days, there wouldn't be wanted notices for them! If catching Night Raid was that easy, why would anyone need to go to so much trouble?
Still, he had three days... no, only two now. At least he had some time to devise a solution!
He had already deployed every member of the Imperial Capital Guard to search the whole city for Night Raid, but... it was useless during the day. Night Raid generally operated at night!
Besides, their base probably wasn't inside the city. If they saw him conducting such a conspicuous search, with the pressure this high, couldn't they simply avoid the Imperial Capital for a few days?
How could he catch them if they didn't come?
Damn it, I should have made up some random person! Now the emperor has specifically ordered me to catch Night Raid. How am I supposed to do that? Oka bitterly regretted it!
Just then, his disciple, Seryu, approached and said, "Master! All our members have spread out. I'm sure they'll find traces of Night Raid... As the side of justice, we will surely triumph!"
"...Yes, we will surely triumph!" Oka replied, forcing out a faint smile. Right now, the sight of his disciple was starting to irritate him!
Seryu's parents had died long ago, and Oka had raised her. She therefore saw him as both a father and an idol, aspiring to become a scourge of evil and an embodiment of justice like him! ...Well, Oka cared about appearances. All his dirty dealings took place in the shadows, and before his disciple, he presented an image of greatness, righteousness, and moral perfection.
Although being worshipped felt wonderful to Oka, it sometimes caused him trouble. Last night, for instance, Seryu had accompanied him to the scene and immediately launched into a righteous speech, deciding on his behalf that they would apprehend Night Raid... Lady! I was still trying to figure out the best answer! Why did you answer for me?
Oka had been helpless. Once his disciple said it, could he refuse in front of the emperor? Doing so might get him beheaded, and it would considerably diminish his glorious image in his disciple's eyes!
So his current predicament was partly the work of his unfortunate disciple!
Of course, he couldn't really blame it all on Seryu. After all, he had taught her to develop this warped personality. Huh? Warped? What was warped about her? Didn't she seem perfectly normal right now?
Under her master Oka's influence, Seryu revered a twisted form of "justice," believing that "justice" must never submit to "evil." Acting in the name of "justice" became her guiding principle and her self-image. That was also why she had immediately jumped in and made the decision for her master upon hearing about the evil Night Raid!
So... Oka had actually been struck by his own returning boomerang!
Back to the point: hearing his disciple's words gave Oka a headache. If justice always won, he should have died ages ago! How could he still be alive?
Besides, if shouting slogans was enough to catch criminals, what were they even needed for? Couldn't they just recruit a bunch of loudmouths as guards?
Well, he had deliberately made his disciple this stupid, so he wasn't going to say much about that. And the most important thing now was catching Night Raid... He would need some special methods!
Night Raid were a bunch of bleeding hearts who liked standing up for the slum dwellers. In that case, he would start with the slums. They were full of worthless people nobody cared about, so neither torturing them nor killing them outright would have any consequences... Since you consider yourselves righteous, surely you won't stand by and watch ordinary people die because of you?
So he said to Seryu, "Seryu, let's go!"
Seryu asked curiously, "Master, do you know where Night Raid is?"
"More or less... Just follow my instructions when we get there!" Oka said with a chuckle.
The master and disciple then arrived in the slums. Oka was about to grab a couple of random people for questioning when a man and a woman blocked him from the front and rear!
The man spoke first. "You're Oka, captain of the Imperial Capital Guard, right? Prepare to die!"
The woman followed up. "Night Raid will be taking your life!!"
Upon seeing them, Oka burst out laughing. "Hahaha! I searched high and low without finding you, and now you've fallen right into my lap! Just when I wanted to find you, you delivered yourselves to my door... Akame, Bulat!!"
Oka recognized the two before him. They were among the few Night Raid members whose faces were known: Bulat, a former imperial soldier called the "Hundred-Man Slayer," and Akame, a beautiful girl with black hair and red eyes, rumored to have once been the Imperial Capital's most vicious assassin!
Seeing Oka laugh wildly, Bulat said speechlessly, "You're about to die, and you're standing here laughing? Have you lost your mind?"
"I'm laughing at your stupidity and lack of planning, showing yourselves in broad daylight... Still, that's fine. I need you to save my life!" Terrified of dying, Oka couldn't spare a thought for why Night Raid had appeared during the day to kill him. He had to capture them and bring them back to save himself!
So Oka told Seryu, "Keep that woman occupied. She's the strongest assassin, and I hear her sword is highly poisonous. Don't touch it!" After assigning his disciple to hold off Akame, the most troublesome opponent, Oka charged decisively at Bulat!
Hey, was it really appropriate to make your disciple handle the most troublesome one?
Well... she was only his disciple. Though he had raised her and she felt no different from his own daughter, she wasn't actually his! Besides, hadn't he warned Seryu? His disciple had a Teigu, too, so she should be strong enough to give Akame a fight. As for who would ultimately win... who knew? All Oka wanted was to survive. Everything else could wait!
"Yes, Master!!" Seryu trusted her master completely and never considered that he might be using her as cannon fodder. She only saw it as proof of his confidence in her!
The two fought their respective opponents. After a fierce battle, each defeated and captured the enemy they faced!
"Hahaha! A former imperial soldier is nothing special after all!" The battered Oka laughed arrogantly. Though he was covered in blood and had more wounds than one could count, he didn't care at all, because... now he had a chance to live!
For that same reason, he didn't stop to consider... why were these two wanted criminals' abilities so different from their descriptions?
Just then, Seryu asked, "Master, should we execute them?" That was what extremists of justice were like: the moment they saw wanted criminals, they wanted to kill them!
"Idiot! If they die, what am I supposed to present to His Majesty?" Oka snapped in alarm. These two were treasures! Catching them would not only save his life but earn him credit and even the corresponding bounties!
It was practically three birds with one stone!
Although Seryu had been scolded, she didn't think much of it, seeing how happy her master was. This girl wasn't exactly overflowing with intelligence either!
After catching the pair, Oka immediately summoned the Imperial Capital Guard members searching nearby to escort the prisoners back. He then sent messengers to both the palace and the minister to report that the criminals had been captured!
Normally, he should have notified only the minister, but Oka was anxious. Afraid of dying, he had to report this to the emperor immediately and dispel any thoughts of executing him!
Only then could the constantly tense Oka finally breathe a great sigh of relief!
Once he had calmed down a little, Oka led the remaining men back to guard headquarters. He planned to tend to his wounds first, then visit the minister, find out what he wanted, and decide what to do next!
Yet as soon as he returned to Imperial Capital Guard headquarters, he encountered someone completely unexpected-the Little Emperor was waiting there with an entourage?
What was this about?
Upon seeing Oka, the Little Emperor... well, Uzumaki Gamu, walked over delightedly and said, "I hear you have captured members of Night Raid, my loyal subject?"
Oka immediately knelt. "Your Majesty, despite my humble abilities, I fought with my life on the line and have brought Night Raid's two strongest members to justice!" To claim all the credit, Oka simply omitted his disciple!
"Wonderful! Such great service deserves a reward... How about making you a noble?" Uzumaki Gamu dangled the bait!
Hearing that, Oka instantly felt rather giddy. For someone without connections like him, captain of the Imperial Capital Guard was essentially the highest he could rise. But if he became a noble... could he eventually stand as an equal to the minister?
The moment that thought appeared, Oka suppressed it. The minister was extremely powerful, far beyond his league. If he grew presumptuous, he would die. He had to stay humble... But he still had to accept this reward.
So Oka knelt and gave thanks. "Thank you for your boundless grace, Your Majesty!"
"Hmm... We can discuss your precise title later. For now... let me see what those two prisoners look like," Uzumaki Gamu said, steering the conversation onward.
"Huh? Well... Your Majesty, those two are dangerous criminals!" Oka said nervously.
"It's all right. With a brave and battle-hardened subject like you here, those two scoundrels won't cause any trouble!" As Uzumaki Gamu spoke, he encouragingly patted Oka's shoulder twice, as though he held him in very high regard!
That made Oka feel giddy again. Right, what was there to fear from two defeated opponents? Bring them over and let the Little Emperor broaden his horizons!
Once that thought struck him, Oka ordered his subordinates to bring out the two prisoners they had captured!
His subordinates instinctively felt this was inappropriate and tried to dissuade him, but Oka silenced them with a demonic glare... They no longer dared disobey!
Then Oka's men brought the two Night Raid members forward. Oka immediately wanted to show off his achievement to the emperor, but... something unexpected happened!
Just as he opened his mouth, both Night Raid members suddenly turned into smoke and vanished!
The scene became excruciatingly awkward!
Uzumaki Gamu turned to look at Oka and asked in a somewhat icy voice, "My loyal subject... are you putting on a monkey show?"
I'm screwed! That was the only thing Oka felt at that moment!
Before you continue