Mr. Yu Had Kidney Trouble

The director was still brainstorming over there.

Meanwhile, Yu Xiuyuan already had his feet soaking in rose-and-mugwort water, humming contentedly:

Take a cup of water from the heavens,

Hold it to the bright moon as the mortal world sways and sways,

Love and hate last only an instant,

Drifting through this earthly life...

His singing cut off abruptly, and his gently swaying body froze too.

Li Rou couldn't help turning to ask him, "Why did you stop singing?"

The livestream viewers, nearby crew, director, and even the foot massage therapist all discreetly pricked up their ears, waiting for his answer.

Yu Xiuyuan relaxed and said shamelessly, "Nearly forgot. I can't sing any more. Those two songs from yesterday still haven't been sorted out. If I keep singing, I might never get to retire."

"You're such a jerk." Li Rou voiced everyone's thoughts.

Yu Xiuyuan gave her a side-eye and threatened, "You don't want that foot soak anymore, huh..."

"I do, I do! I meant you're so... impressive!"

"You sound so good even when you just sing a couple of lines, and your technique seems really good too. Why didn't you pursue singing before? Did your agency not let you? Then I..." Once she opened her mouth, she couldn't stop, chattering away.

"Stop! It wasn't the agency." Yu Xiuyuan hurriedly cut her off. "My agency is great. Unbeatably great. Our artists have loads of freedom. I'm just too lazy and don't want to do anything. Now that I've saved enough money, I want to retire."

Thinking that wasn't enough, he braced himself against the armrests, sat upright, and looked solemnly into the camera:

"Time for a blatant ad: want to enter showbiz? Come to Star Entertainment Agency! No shady backroom deals, no exploitative contracts, full respect for our artists. Harmony is our specialty. My manager, Li Man, is reliable and loyal-even a slacker like me managed to save enough to retire. Think about that."

With that, he smoothly reclined again and wiggled his legs, signaling that the massage could begin.

The therapist didn't notice. She was still staring blankly.

She'd never seen anyone slip a blatant ad for their own agency into a variety show before.

The earlier trending topics were still up, drawing plenty of spectators, and Yu Xiuyuan kept pulling one outrageous stunt after another.

#Yu Dog gets a foot massage#

#Yu Dog sings another new song#

Both topics quietly crept onto the bottom of the trending list.

Yu Xiuyuan's follower count on Big Eye surged again, and this time they weren't just haters.

Before he transmigrated, Yu Xiuyuan had three million followers on Big Eye, more than half of them haters. After he arrived, he kept trending for all sorts of things, and in less than two days, his follower count had risen to four million.

Most of the new fans had come from the trending topics about his singing.

Watching him praise her on the livestream, his manager Li Man felt a swirl of conflicting emotions.

She had already planned to give up on him and thought she understood him. Yet after just one day, she found she couldn't figure him out anymore.

If he could keep this up, continuing to work together wasn't out of the question.

Unaware that his manager was already planning to keep working him like a mule, Yu Xiuyuan was still reminding the foot massage therapist to snap out of it.

The pretty therapist quickly switched into professional mode and marveled at his feet. "Mr. Yu, your feet are so beautiful. They're slender, and your skin is very fair and soft, just like a girl's."

Yu Xiuyuan pulled a stern face and said through gritted teeth, "Lovely compliment. Never do it again. I'm a proper grown man!"

"Hahaha, a girl!" Li Rou couldn't resist piping up beside him.

Yu Xiuyuan shot her a sideways look. "You shut up too!" Then he lifted his head straight up and addressed Li Rou's therapist. "Miss, please press harder. She can take it!"

"Ow!" No sooner had he finished than he yelped himself, looking at his own therapist with a helpless mix of amusement and distress. "Ma'am, I said she can take it, not me."

The therapist stifled a laugh. "Sorry, force of habit. Does it hurt a lot? This area corresponds to the kidneys. Your kidneys aren't in very good shape, Mr. Yu. Have you not been resting well?"

Yu Xiuyuan flopped back into his recliner, looking utterly done with life:

"My good name across two lifetimes... I'll just die for a bit. Burn some paper offerings if you need me." Then he peacefully closed his eyes.

This body had already died once. How could it possibly be in good shape?

Only then did the therapist remember they were livestreaming. Was it a bad idea to say outright that a celebrity had weak kidneys? She quietly observed him for a while and only relaxed when she realized Yu Xiuyuan was just clowning around.

Beside him, Li Rou shook with the effort of holding back her laughter.

Yu Xiuyuan opened one eye to peek at her. "Oh! Switched to vibrate mode? Aren't you multitalented!"

"Hahahaha... honk..." Li Rou couldn't hold it in anymore and laughed with a goose-like honk.

The live comments were full of teasing too.

"Yu Dog's kidneys don't work. Just so everyone knows."

"Yu Dog is hilarious. Has he always been this funny?"

"Heh, weak kidneys? His sugar daddy must've worn him out."

"Got any evidence, person above? If he really had a sugar daddy, would he have been getting trashed for so many years?"

"Didn't people say he was vicious and hit people over the slightest disagreement? Someone just said he had weak kidneys, and he isn't even angry?"

Watching the monitor, Director Liu let out a sinister chuckle. "Hehehe, that's what you get for showing off! Got mocked, didn't you?"

The assistant director looked at him, unsure what he was sneering about. The show's popularity was still climbing. It didn't look remotely like they were filming a dating show, but that was fine. Everything was going well.

By the time the full foot massage was finished, Yu Xiuyuan and Li Rou were humming with pleasure.

Li Rou remembered her gentle, intellectual persona for the first time in ages and felt dismayed.

Once Yu Xiuyuan had had enough sun, he moved the loungers into the shade, and the two comfortably fell asleep.

The other pairs were still diligently filming the show.

At lunchtime, the two were sleeping soundly.

Director Liu watched the sleeping Yu Xiuyuan with gleeful anticipation. It was already noon, and he still hadn't gone to prepare lunch, while the other pairs had already set off for the restaurant.

Just wait till they tear into you, punk.

Before he could finish gloating, a voice rang out. "Excuse me, which of you is Mr. Yu? Your food delivery is here."

Yu Xiuyuan slowly woke and raised a hand. "Over here! Is Little Liu around? Help me take that and bring it to the pavilion over there."

Pinpricks of sunlight filtering through the leaves fell right on his fingertips, giving them a lustrous glow.

The director gritted his teeth at that glimmer. Damn it, there's something uncanny about this guy.

Before he could unclench his jaw, he saw that glimmer wave at him. "Little Liu, don't forget to reimburse me!"

He might as well grind his teeth to pieces!

Yu Xiuyuan patted the peacefully sleeping Li Rou and waited for her to fully wake before telling her it was time to eat.

Having slept so comfortably, Li Rou felt a little embarrassed. "Did you go cook by yourself? Could you call me to help next time?"

Yu Xiuyuan looked slightly awkward. "Perhaps there's this thing in the world called food delivery?"

Li Rou slapped her forehead. Right, this guy hardly looked like someone who could cook. Takeout was fine too. She wasn't picky.

The two went to the pavilion, where Li Rou's eyes widened at the food on the table.

On the stone table, a crab as big as a washbasin was smothered in sauce, arm-length mantis shrimp gave off an enticing garlic aroma, fist-sized abalone sat in a rich sauce, a huge bowl of drunken crab smelled fragrantly of wine, and crab roe noodles were coated in crab paste.

The takeout containers bore the name of the very restaurant whose food Yu Xiuyuan had insisted on trying yesterday.

So he hadn't been making a joke yesterday. He really meant to eat there.

Li Rou's eyes sparkled. "I'm extremely happy with this arrangement! Mr. Yu really knows how to plan a date!"

Yu Xiuyuan lifted his chin and accepted the compliment with smug pride.