I'm an Uncultured Bumpkin, I'm Not Worthy

"That Yu Dog bullied kids at school, then bullied other entertainers after his debut, assaulted people, spread malicious rumors, and found himself a sugar daddy. God Yun, don't give scum like him the time of day!"

"Girls, don't forget God Yun hasn't checked his phone yet! He doesn't know what Yu Dog is like! Everyone, tag God Yun's manager and save God Yun!"

"Exactly, exactly! Don't panic yet, everyone."

Before long, #SaveGodYun# was trending.

His manager stared at the countless tags on Weibo in silence.

He was losing his mind too. He was just as helpless! What could he do when Yun Chuan refused to take his phone?

Still, the fans were worrying for nothing. There was no way Yun Chuan would fall for Yu Xiuyuan.

To be precise, he wouldn't fall for anyone.

It was all an act.

When Yu Xiuyuan finished washing the dishes and came out, everyone was chatting in the living room. The director announced that the first day would focus on getting to know one another, with no packed schedule. They were free to do as they liked.

Yu Xiuyuan's eyes lit up. Wasn't that perfect timing? He had just been thinking of asking permission to go buy a few outfits. Now he wouldn't have to.

He grabbed his phone and headed out, only for the director to stop him at the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Didn't you say we could do as we liked? Can't I go out?"

The director was speechless. "This is a Dating Reality Show! That means you're free to mingle and build connections. Starting tomorrow, you'll be paired up for dates. How are you supposed to build connections if you run off by yourself?"

Yu Xiuyuan turned sideways and raised a hand toward the people in the living room. "Here, director, take a look. Which of our guests looks like they want to build a connection with me? They've never done anything to you. Have mercy on them!"

"Besides, I'm going out to buy clothes. You don't want me wearing those hideous outfits and assaulting everyone's eyes, do you?"

Remembering his hideous clothes, the director hesitated. Just then, the assistant director came over and told him to look at the live comments.

"Let him leave already! If you don't, I'll report you for using a disgraced celebrity!"

"Let him leave already! I want to see what nonsense he's going to pull this time!"

"Let him leave already! If he doesn't go, I will!"

The director promptly let him through and arranged a car and a camera operator for him.

After thanking his haters once again, Yu Xiuyuan told the driver to take him to the nearest mall, then sat in the back and gazed out the window.

He looked for quite a while but saw nothing special. It was just like his old world.

But the very nature of the world had changed. After all, he had money now~~~

The more he thought about it, the happier he became, until he couldn't resist sharing his joy with his hater friends.

He leaned toward the camera, his eyes curving with his smile. "My dear hater friends-though, of course, maybe no one's watching me. If anyone really is watching, I'd like to offer you a song and share my joy!"

He scooted back a little to sit properly and raised his phone like a microphone.

"If one day I become very rich

My first choice won't be to travel the world

I'll lie on the biggest, softest sofa in the world

Eat, then sleep, wake up and eat again, and spend a year that way

If one day I become very rich,

I'll buy every smile that's so rarely seen,

So no poor child has to live in fear,

And no evil person gets to control what we hear.

If..."

"We're at the mall," the driver reminded him.

The singing stopped abruptly, leaving those who had been caught up in the song struggling to snap out of it.

"All right, all right. Thank you, sir. Sorry for the trouble, but could you find somewhere to wait for me? I'll be out as soon as I can." The singer himself took it perfectly well, cutting off his song in a second.

Yu Xiuyuan hurried into the mall, while the haters who had just switched to his livestream to watch the fun exchanged bewildered looks.

"Was arriving at the mall really that important? Couldn't he have waited until the song was over?"

"I came here to criticize him, but then..."

"That's Yu Dog? He can sing that well?"

"Whoever you are, get out of Yu Dog's body right now! He's filthy! Come possess me instead!"

"The person above is filthy too. Come possess me."

"I've never heard this song. Who's the original singer? How did such a good song not blow up?"

"I couldn't find it. Don't tell me Yu Dog wrote it himself? He keeps going on today about having enough money to retire."

"No way! Everyone, search together. We'll definitely find the original singer! Find the songwriter and get them to sue him for infringement!"

"That Yu Dog didn't even finish compulsory schooling. How could he write a song this good?"

"If he wrote it, I'll do a handstand and shit diarrhea!"

The haters posted screen recordings of Yu Xiuyuan singing online and asked who the original singer was.

In the end, they didn't find the original singer. Instead, they attracted a crowd of passersby, all asking who this gorgeous young man was, saying how well he sang, and asking where they could watch him.

Yu Xiuyuan's haters refused to give up. They went to the Dating Reality Show's main livestream to rally people to help find the original singer. Everyone responded enthusiastically and went to watch the recording. Then no one came back...

With so many people searching, the singing video and #WhoIsTheOriginalSinger# quickly began trending.

Yu Xiuyuan's Weibo follower count was quietly rising too.

Those who saw the trending posts followed the directions to Yu Xiuyuan's livestream to see what was going on, only to find themselves unable to leave as they watched Yu Dog act like he'd never seen a mall before.

"How much? You said how much? Six thousand eight hundred for a T-shirt? Three thousand seven hundred for a pair of pants? Is there gold woven into them? Why are they so expensive?"

"It's the brand? A designer brand?"

"Got it. It's for rich people. I'm an uncultured bumpkin. I'm not worthy."

Unbeknownst to Yu Xiuyuan, more and more people were entering his livestream...

He shoved his handsome face up to the camera and muttered quietly, "My hater friends, take my advice. Clothes just need to be clean, presentable, and comfortable, warm in winter and breathable in summer. Don't get sucked into competing over designer labels just to save face."

"Especially foreign luxury brands. A higher price doesn't necessarily mean better quality, more comfort, or a better fit for you.

Of course, if you need them for work and buy them to keep up appearances, forget I said anything."

"A person's poise and character come from kindness, hard work, and confidence within, not the label on their clothes."

"If we save that money, we can do more meaningful things."

When he finished muttering, the newcomers filled the live comments with praise.

"This celebrity has such good values. This is the kind of star kids should be fans of."

"This guy is so handsome. Is he the one singing 'If I Become Very Rich' in the trending video?"

"Even Yu Dog can say something this sensible? He's putting on a pretty convincing act!"

"Wonderful. I'll have my kid watch more of this celebrity. These days, all my kid does is compete with classmates over designer clothes and running shoes."

"Hold on, person above. He's a disgraced celebrity. Don't let your kid watch him!!"

"Does the person above have any solid proof? If not, you're spreading rumors!"

"I don't believe someone with such good values is a disgraced celebrity. There's plenty of fake dirt in the entertainment industry!"

On camera, Yu Xiuyuan still thought hardly anyone was watching him. His eyes shone as he stared at a poster for the seafood restaurant ahead. He swallowed and continued:

"For example, we could go have a seafood feast and broaden our horizons. I can take or leave river snails that cost fifty cents a bag, but a crab as big as a washbasin? I've got to give that a taste."

The live comments slammed on the brakes.