So even Fan Jin could get shy

"We're almost there, right?" Shan Ye broke their silence.

"Turn right up ahead."

Shan Ye followed the navigation and turned right, then parked beneath the apartment building. He got out with Fan Jin and held an umbrella over him. "I'll go up with you."

Fan Jin felt that wasn't quite appropriate and wanted to refuse.

Shan Ye added, "You're definitely not as good at looking after kids as I am. She's a little girl. What if you don't know what to do?"

He had a point. Fan Jin nodded. "Don't wake her."

"Don't worry."

Once they were upstairs, Fan Jin entered the passcode. When the door opened, they saw a small figure lying on the sofa directly opposite.

Yaoyao lay on the sofa under a blanket, with a cooling patch on her forehead. Xu Jing had probably put it on her before leaving.

Wrapped in her little blanket, Yaoyao coughed with her eyes half closed and said quietly, "...Daddy Fan, my head really hurts."

Fan Jin hurried over and saw her flushed face. He checked her temperature with the back of his hand. "Have you taken anything for the fever?"

Yaoyao nodded. "Daddy gave me some before he left. I want some water." She blinked her watery eyes, her hair hanging loose, and caught sight of Shan Ye behind him. "Big brother."

Shan Ye leaned over and gently pinched her cheek. "I'll get you some water. Be good, okay?"

He turned to get water, spotted the medicine and insulated flask on the table, and poured her a little hot water into a cup.

Yaoyao was still listless after drinking the water. She lay in Fan Jin's arms and slowly fell asleep.

Shan Ye watched Fan Jin take care of her. He rarely saw such a tender side of him.

Once she was asleep, Fan Jin carried her carefully into the bedroom, with Shan Ye following behind.

After laying her on the bed, Fan Jin tucked her in, and the two of them stepped out.

Shan Ye leaned against the bedroom doorway, arms folded across his chest, and looked at him. "Fan Jin, you really care about Yaoyao. It's like she's your own daughter."

Fan Jin went over and sat on the sofa. He instinctively took out his cigarettes and put one between his lips, then suddenly remembered there was a child here and lowered it again.

He rolled the cigarette between his index and middle fingers and said quietly, "It's not easy for Xu Jing to raise a child alone."

Shan Ye sat down beside him. "The man who was at your place that day?"

Fan Jin nodded.

Shan Ye had guessed right. That man was Yaoyao's biological father.

Yaoyao's drawing came to mind. He suddenly narrowed his eyes with a smile and asked, "Then have you ever thought about having a child?"

Fan Jin's fingers stopped moving. A child? He had never thought about it. Even marriage wasn't in his plans, let alone children.

But he found the question a little odd. He turned to Shan Ye. "What's it got to do with you? Can you give birth?"

Shan Ye burst out laughing. "Of course I can't."

He suddenly leaned closer. "Why? Want me to have your baby?"

Fan Jin shifted away and moved to another sofa, putting some distance between them.

"You're talking nonsense again."

Shan Ye's eyes curved with his smile. "You brought it up first, Fan Jin. I was just playing along."

Fan Jin ignored him. Feeling the tips of his ears grow warm again, he became inexplicably irritated. He put the cigarette between his lips and lowered his head to light it.

So even that icy face could get shy.

Fan Jin paid him no attention and went out onto the balcony alone to smoke.

He had only asked Shan Ye that question out of curiosity. He was curious why a gay man would ask him something like that.

Shan Ye followed him onto the balcony. A light rain pattered outside. He turned to watch Fan Jin exhale clouds of smoke. That handsome face was always frowning, as though weighed down by countless worries.

He couldn't help asking, "Fan Jin, have you ever liked anyone?"

Fan Jin exhaled a plume of bluish smoke. "No."

Shan Ye raised his eyebrows. "Neither have I. You're the first person I've ever liked."

Fan Jin's frown deepened at that. He rubbed between his eyebrows. "There's nothing about me worth liking."

"How could there not be? Everything about you is worth liking."

Fan Jin sighed, then said after a brief silence, "Do you know what my family situation is like, or what kind of person I used to be?"

Shan Ye shook his head. "No, but you can tell me."

Fan Jin laughed. "You don't know anything. All you know is that I make coffee, and you're already saying you like me." He looked at Shan Ye. "Don't you think that kind of liking is meaningless?"

Shan Ye's lashes fluttered as he listened to Fan Jin continue, "You're twenty-eight already. I shouldn't have to explain these things to you, should I?"

He looked away and went back to smoking.

Shan Ye lowered his head and smiled faintly, his hands in his pockets. "If all the love in the world worked the way you say, if people had to know each other inside out before deciding whether they liked each other, how many couples would never get together?"

He looked at Fan Jin. "What if I said I fell for you at first sight? Is that not allowed either?"

"I don't believe in love at first sight." Fan Jin's words were unequivocal.

What he meant was that he didn't believe Shan Ye's claims of liking him.

Shan Ye froze where he stood, his eyes half blinking as disappointment washed through them.

At some point, the rain outside had grown heavier. It battered the window with a loud clatter.

Fan Jin turned and walked back inside. "You should go. I'm not going home tonight. I don't need a ride."

Shan Ye stayed where he was. At a sound from the doorway, he looked over. It was Xu Jing.

Xu Jing came in with his hair and clothes partly soaked. He didn't notice Shan Ye on the balcony and spoke with his head lowered. "Fan, I'm back. The traffic was awful the whole way. I brought dinner for you and Yaoyao."

Fan Jin said nothing. He sat on the sofa, having lit another cigarette at some point.

Only when Xu Jing came closer did he notice someone else standing on the balcony. He gave an awkward smile. "You're Mr. Shan, right? I didn't know you were here too, so I didn't bring extra food."

Shan Ye came inside. "No need. I'm leaving now." His face was expressionless.

Taking in the atmosphere in the apartment, Xu Jing sensed a hint of tension.

Shan Ye passed Fan Jin without looking at him or saying goodbye. At the door, he nodded to Xu Jing. "Sorry for intruding."

Xu Jing wanted to say something else, but the door had already been pulled shut from outside.

He looked at Fan Jin sitting on the sofa smoking, his expression rather grave. It reminded him of their days in the military years ago. After evening training, Fan Jin would often sit alone at the edge of the training ground during their break, just as silent as he was now.

Fan Jin was a man of few words. Once, during a field exercise lasting four days and five nights, he had accidentally been bitten by a snake on the second night. Afraid of holding up the training, he squeezed out the blood, wrapped the bite in a bandage, and endured it for three days and nights. By the time they returned on the last day, his ankle had swollen as thick as his calf.

Fortunately, the snake wasn't venomous. He only started applying medicine after they got back. He hadn't uttered a word throughout the whole ordeal or told anyone. Even so, his land training scores were still among the best in the unit.

Xu Jing knew that was the kind of man he was. So all these years, he had never needed to ask about anything Fan Jin didn't want to discuss. Even if he asked, Fan Jin wouldn't say a word.