I have everything but you

His grandmother's words came crashing down one after another, and the atmosphere in the courtyard instantly grew tense.

The grapes in Shan Ye's hand suddenly lost their sweetness. One caught in his throat, leaving him unable to swallow or spit it out.

He lowered his head, the tips of his ears flushing red as his heart pounded wildly.

Listening to Fan Jin's conversation with his grandmother left him aching inside. He understood that she meant well, but more than anything, he wanted Fan Jin to be free.

Free to choose whom to love, and when to make that choice.

He understood that no matter how much he loved Fan Jin, no matter how completely he gave him his heart, he could never give Fan Jin a "normal" family in society's eyes, nor could he give his grandmother a great-grandchild.

Shan Ye stole a glance at Fan Jin, who stood nearby.

The man's brows were slightly furrowed. His expression remained impassive, but he clearly looked displeased. The nagging had obviously worn his patience thin, yet he couldn't bear to talk back to his grandmother.

"Grandma, I know what I'm doing with my own life." Fan Jin's voice deepened, though his tone remained restrained.

"You know, you know-just how old have you gotten while knowing?" His grandmother wouldn't let it go, her eyes shining with anxious tears. "At my age, how many more years can I stay with you? All I want before I close my eyes for good is to see someone by your side, someone who cares for you. Is that so wrong?"

Shan Ye clenched his hands, wanting to quietly say something to help Fan Jin out, but he had no idea what to say.

His position was awkward. He feared that even one extra word would overstep the line.

Yu Chuan spoke first, his smile warm and tactful. "Grandma, don't worry. Mr. Fan is such an outstanding man. I'm sure he has no shortage of admirers. He just has high standards and hasn't met someone who feels right."

He paused, deliberately glancing toward Shan Ye as he hinted, "Besides, a partner doesn't necessarily have to be a woman. Getting along and genuinely treating him well matter more than anything else, wouldn't you agree?"

Shan Ye went rigid and whipped his head toward Yu Chuan.

Was he... helping me?!

His grandmother froze for a moment, seemingly missing the deeper meaning, then sighed. "You have a point. Getting along and both being sincere matter more than anything."

Fan Jin shot Yu Chuan a cold look, a clear warning in his eyes.

Yu Chuan pretended not to notice and kept smoothing things over. "He'll find someone. When fate comes, there's no stopping it. Who knows? Someone might already be waiting by his side, and you just haven't noticed."

Shan Ye lowered his head and pretended to concentrate on peeling a mandarin, sneaking a glance at Fan Jin's expression.

Fan Jin interrupted their conversation, bending down to gently pat his grandmother's blanket as his voice softened. "I know you worry about me. I'll keep it in mind, so please don't make yourself sick over it."

Only then did his grandmother calm down a little. She held his hand, reluctant to let go. "As long as you understand. I'm not trying to force you. I'm just afraid you'll be lonely."

"I'm not lonely," Fan Jin said evenly.

The atmosphere finally eased, and Shan Ye went back to chatting with his grandmother.

When she learned that Shan Ye and Yu Chuan were teachers, her respect for them grew, and she insisted they stay for lunch.

Shan Ye glanced at Fan Jin. He didn't seem opposed, so Shan Ye agreed to stay and have lunch with them.

The kitchen was filled with the warm bustle of cooking. Fan Jin was preparing a fish inside, and Shan Ye went in to help him.

"Fan Jin, let me help."

Fan Jin didn't refuse. He pointed at the vegetables beside him. "Wash those."

"Put on an apron. Don't get your clothes wet." He set down what he was holding and found Shan Ye an apron.

Shan Ye took it and put it on himself.

Fan Jin continued preparing the fish. Watching his practiced movements, Shan Ye couldn't help saying, "Fan Jin, you're really good at cooking. That's amazing."

"Can you cook?" Fan Jin asked.

"Me?" He lowered his head to wash the vegetables. "I can't."

He regretted it as soon as he said it. Fan Jin had gone quiet. Did he think less of me because I couldn't cook? Oh no, oh no.

"Actually, I can make a few things. I can do all the simple stuff," he hurriedly added.

"Mm." Fan Jin said nothing else and stepped toward the sink. "Move over a little."

Shan Ye shifted a step, making room for him. Two tall, well-built men crowded around one small sink, one washing the fish and the other washing vegetables.

Fan Jin caught sight of his wrist. "You have a tattoo?"

"You mean this?" Shan Ye raised his left wrist. "It's not a tattoo. I accidentally burned myself as a kid, and it left a scar. As I got older, it grew bigger along with me."

"It looks like a flower," Fan Jin said.

Shan Ye looked pleasantly surprised. "Really? I've always been self-conscious about it. I thought it was ugly and didn't want anyone to see it, so I always wore a watch."

It really hadn't been noticeable before. The scar on Shan Ye's wrist resembled an iris, tinged with pale pink.

"Mm. It's not ugly."

Those reassuring words filled Shan Ye's heart with bubbles, and he couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from lifting.

Fan Jin finished rinsing the fish and went to marinate it, while Shan Ye was still picking at a few vegetable leaves.

Seeing the vegetables he had mangled, Fan Jin frowned and took them from him. "Let me."

Shan Ye blinked. "Is there anything else I can help with?"

"...Just watch."

"Oh, okay." Shan Ye didn't make a fuss. He untied the apron and leaned against the counter, watching him cook.

He remembered what Fan Jin's grandmother had said.

After thinking for a while, he asked, "Fan Jin, can I ask you a few questions?"

"Mm."

"Your mother... how old were you when she passed away?"

Fan Jin's hands paused. "My grandma told you?"

Shan Ye nodded slightly. "Fan Jin, I don't mean anything by it. I just want to know you better."

Fan Jin was silent for a while. "Eighteen."

Eighteen... That was fourteen years ago.

"So, the year you joined the military."

"Yes."

Shan Ye thought of how he had only just started college at eighteen, while Fan Jin had already begun living independently.

"Then... what about your father?"

Fan Jin was silent for several more seconds before saying, "He passed away too."

Shan Ye's eyes widened slightly. He opened his mouth to say something, but he knew nothing would be appropriate right now. Offering comfort would make Fan Jin seem pitiful; offering none would make him seem insensitive.

Fan Jin kept cooking, his voice very low. "Shan Ye."

Shan Ye looked up and answered at once. "What is it?"

Time stood still for a few seconds. "I have nothing. The man you're looking at is far worse than you imagine," Fan Jin said.

Shan Ye blinked and hurriedly said, "No. I've never thought there was anything wrong with you. Quite the opposite. You're wonderful."

Fan Jin stopped what he was doing and looked at him.

"You wouldn't understand."

Shan Ye didn't understand what he meant. What did he mean, he wouldn't understand?

"You say you have nothing, and I have everything I need. Doesn't that make us a perfect match?"

"No," he corrected himself. "The only thing I'm missing is you." His eyes were filled with sincerity.

Fan Jin looked away. "...Talking nonsense again."