Blizzard, You Suck!

Lin Yu flung his mouse aside and cursed, "Fuck! I run dungeons because my gear sucks! If I had good gear, why would I go with you lot? If you're going to make excuses, at least come up with a decent one! You actually kicked me because my male Blood Elf wasn't as good-looking as a female Blood Elf. What kind of fucking guild is this? You just don't like me being a hunter, do you? Isn't that Troll hunter uglier than me? I didn't see you kick him! I curse you all-wipe on every clear, and get nothing but crap loot!"

Lin Yu ranted for a while, growing angrier with every word. Finally, he picked up his mouse and clicked Leave Guild, becoming a man without an organization or discipline once more. Yet the moment he left, he began to regret it.

Freedom's great! Lin Yu sighed inwardly. But it's fucking hard to get by without a guild. What now? Run little dungeons for transmog and make myself prettier? Isn't that boring? Follow big brother Sanjidao's example and slaughter lowbies? But this isn't the level-sixty era anymore. Kill the little guy, and the big guy might come running right away.

How many people these days didn't have a high-level main? Only someone like him, with so little time to play, had nothing but a level-seventy Death Knight alt. Where was he supposed to find a higher-level character?

His highest-level main was this Blood Elf hunter, freshly level eighty and still dressed in junk. He couldn't pull that kind of rotten stunt, nor did he dare. Besides, hardly any lowbies were out killing monsters in the wild anymore! Even finding an easy target was difficult! It looked like battlegrounds were his only option.

Lin Yu had utterly rotten luck that night. Every match ended in defeat-not a single win-and it left him irritable and frustrated. He spewed curses nonstop in the game, calling one person a fucking moron and another an idiot. By midnight, he still hadn't won a single match.

Lin Yu dug in his heels. He swore he wouldn't log off until he won, even if he had to go to work tomorrow with eyes as red as a rabbit's.

After countless defeats, Lin Yu's eyelids were fighting a battle of their own. No matter how hard he tried to stop the upper lids from meeting the lower ones, it was becoming very, very difficult.

Lin Yu believed, firmly and sincerely, that this was because hunters weren't a class with strong control abilities. If he'd rolled a Rogue back then, he would surely still be wide awake. Rogues were always especially alert at night.

Precisely because he was a hunter, he couldn't resist closing his eyes for a little nap after entering the Alterac battleground. Since hunters weren't a high-control class, he considered that a perfectly sound reason to rest.

Perhaps heaven took pity on him. When he suddenly jolted awake, a battleground victory panel popped up on the screen, dazzling his freshly opened Pay-to-Win Eyes.

"I won? I didn't even fucking move!" he muttered to himself. Still, he shut down his computer in satisfaction and went back to bed with a clear conscience.

He believed his persistence must have moved heaven to floods of tears, just like the sweet nothings that damned monkey had whispered to Fairy Zilu. That was why he'd finally been granted a victory.

Lin Yu soon fell asleep, snoring loud enough to shake the room.

Lin Yu had a dream he liked very much.

That's right! He dreamed of a beautiful woman, an immensely popular beauty-at least among Warcraft nerds back on Earth: Sylvanas. He dreamed that he was dressed in a green recruit's ranger uniform, leading a hundred or so male and female elf recruits toward Sylvanas.

"Reporting for duty! Yu Lin Bloodhawk, commander of the Third Company, Third Battalion, Golden Mist Burning Legion, reporting with my troops." Lin Yu brought his left arm across his chest, his fist over his heart, and delivered an impeccably proper Quel'Thalas Military Salute, reporting loudly to Sylvanas in Thalassian.

At the same time, he felt nothing was amiss, because his hunter's name was Yu Lin Bloodhawk. As for why he could speak Thalassian so fluently and state his identity, he subconsciously chalked it up to being a dream-a bug in the dream.

Yes, he was perfectly lucid now, as clearheaded as if he were awake, and he believed he was dreaming. He remembered going to sleep, so everything seemed perfectly reasonable. Even if everything before him suddenly vanished, he wouldn't have found it strange.

He merely felt that this dream was so real he didn't want to wake up. All he wished was that it would last a little longer.

"Excellent! Your arrival is very timely, Company Commander." Sylvanas formally returned his salute with an elegant gesture. "Based on the intelligence gathered by our scouts, I've found that the Darkpine Trolls have been rather restless lately."

As she spoke, Sylvanas opened a map. "But we still have too little intelligence to determine exactly what the Trolls in Zul'Aman intend to do.

"Therefore, I plan to launch a surprise attack on the Darkpine Trolls in Zeb'Sora, south of Lake Elrendar, to uncover their intentions. To prevent the Trolls in Zeb'Nowa and Zeb'Tela from coming to their aid, this operation must be swift.

"However, the troops currently at my disposal are very limited, so I need you to lead your unit in establishing a blocking line between Zeb'Sora and Zeb'Tela. Try to choose an ambush site close to the Tower of the Stars. The guards there will be able to provide timely reinforcements."

"Yes, Your Majesty!" Lin Yu saluted.

He was a casual player, and quests were his specialty. As long as they didn't involve running a dungeon, there were very few quests a hunter couldn't complete alone. He also enjoyed questing because he liked the stories they told.

He had quite a bit of respect for this woman, the toughest and most distinctive female character in the game. In his opinion, a woman who had achieved what she had was no longer merely a woman-she was a man! That's right, a tough-as-nails woman! A Wu Zetian!

"What did you call me?" Sylvanas looked up and asked with a frown.

"Haha, my mistake!" Lin Yu scratched his head. "Yes, General."

Sylvanas watched Lin Yu coldly for a moment. Finding that he didn't seem to be joking, she said icily, "I'm not a general either. I'm merely a unit commander. Your joke isn't funny, and this is the military!"

She deeply despised this sycophantic male elf, and his flippant behavior-joking on a formal military occasion-angered her as well.

"Not a general?" Lin Yu froze.

Wasn't Sylvanas the high elves' Ranger-General? How was she just a unit commander? What the hell was a unit commander?

"What? Is there a problem?" Sylvanas asked frostily.

For an instant, Lin Yu felt as though a venomous snake had fixed its eyes on him. Holy shit, this dream is way too fucking real. He even felt an urge to smack himself and check whether he really was dreaming. But he feared that would wake him up, which would ruin everything. This dream version of the game was far better than the one on his computer. Now this was true immersion-probably even more badass than Martian Technology.

"You aren't now, but you will be!" Lin Yu said with absolute certainty.

"I'm honored by your confidence," Sylvanas said, still icy. "However, this operation will be dangerous. Do you have any requests, Company Commander?"

Deep down, she truly didn't want to waste another word on this shameless male

elf.

"Requests? I can make requests?" Lin Yu's eyes widened in disbelief.

Fuck, this is the direction games should really be developing in-everything as close to reality as possible. Blizzard, you suck!

"Yes, requests! If you have any, make them now. I'll accommodate you as best I can," Sylvanas said with utter disgust.

She deliberately raised her voice on the word "requests." Everyone could hear the anger buried in her tone.

"Then can I ask what the quest rewards are?" Lin Yu asked uncertainly. Naturally, he too could hear the displeasure in Sylvanas's voice.

"Rewards? What other rewards do you want?" Sylvanas's face darkened, and her tone grew much harsher.

"For example, what weapons and equipment are the rewards? How much gold? How many Experience Points? How much reputation? Reputation with which faction..." Lin Yu explained.

With every item Lin Yu listed, Sylvanas's expression darkened further.

Before Lin Yu could finish, Sylvanas lost her patience, slammed the table, and shot to her feet with a roar. "This is the military! Not the Goblin Auction House, and not a tavern in Silvermoon City! This is not a place for you to haggle!"

Wow, she can even get emotional. Tsk, tsk, tsk. This NPC is really something, Lin Yu marveled.

"Make requests related to combat!" Sylvanas said, furious but forcing herself to suppress her anger.

She couldn't understand how such a shameless, greedy creature could have emerged from the high elf nobility. He had shamelessly flattered her the moment they met, and now he had gone even further. Facing a combat operation, he didn't consider how to complete the mission or the lives of his soldiers. His first thoughts were of money and profit, just like those greedy, cowardly Goblins.

"Requests related to combat?" Lin Yu swayed his head as he thought for a moment. "Can I ask NPCs to help me fight?"

He didn't actually hold out much hope for that request. He was merely giving it a try.

"NPCs? What are NPCs?" Sylvanas asked, holding back her anger.

"Soldiers," Lin Yu said, suddenly understanding. Right, these NPCs don't think of themselves as NPCs who do nothing but hand out orders. They see themselves as living, breathing elves.

"I have no spare soldiers to assign to you. You can only lead your own company to complete the mission. I'll notify the guards at the Tower of the Stars. If necessary, they'll provide some assistance, but it won't be much. You'll still have to rely mainly on yourselves."

Sylvanas had absolutely no interest in asking why he called soldiers NPCs. She didn't want to entertain this idiotic company commander's nonsense. More than anything, she wanted the shameless idiot to disappear from her sight immediately.

"Them? They'll all help me fight?" Lin Yu pointed incredulously at the hundred NPCs he had brought along. The game had never provided so many NPCs to help a player fight.

"Yes, only them!" Sylvanas struggled to control her emotions, which were on the verge of erupting. Looking coldly at the idiotic company commander, she said, "They are your company to begin with. Any other questions? If not, then you-right now, this instant-get the hell out!"