As soon as Snape woke up, he rushed straight to Dumbledore's office.
There was no getting his magical ingredients back now, because he had no evidence. The Ministry of Magic had never accepted Legilimency as evidence, since memories could be altered. Still, someone had to foot the bill for losses totaling over a thousand Galleons.
And that sucker absolutely could not be him!
When Snape arrived at the Headmaster's Office, seething with rage, he discovered that another obnoxious peacock was there too.
"Please wait a moment, Severus," Dumbledore said quietly.
"Good afternoon, Snape." Lockhart flashed what he thought was a charming smile, immediately making Snape dislike him even more. "What brings you rushing here too? Did you hear that I was planning to ask the headmaster for permission to start a Duelling Club, so you came specially to be my assistant?"
"A Duelling Club?"
Lockhart's words briefly distracted Snape from his anger, only for his gaze to turn contemptuous, as though to say, You?
But Lockhart noticed nothing.
He probably thought nobody could be better suited to the role.
"Dumbledore, the situation is very serious. Someone has been hurt. I think it's absolutely essential to establish a Duelling Club and give everyone thorough training, in case they ever need to defend themselves! They can protect themselves using the methods I've employed countless times-and I'm a member of the Dark Magic Defense Association, too. I don't think anyone could be better qualified!"
He looked eagerly at Dumbledore, hoping for an affirmative response.
Dumbledore agreed almost at once.
This left Lockhart extremely excited.
"Believe me, you'll be very glad you made this decision!" His expression seemed to say, You've really struck gold. "Although I agreed to teach this subject for you, a club wasn't part of the deal. This is a small personal contribution to my alma mater, and not something I offer every day!"
"Then thank you very much!" Dumbledore said with amusement. "Now, as for your assistant, let me think. How about Filius? He was a duelling champion in his younger days." Dumbledore strongly recommended him.
At the words "duelling champion," Lockhart's expression immediately changed. He paced anxiously around the office, but soon came up with a suitable excuse.
"Fi-Filius... although he certainly was impressive when he was young, I rather doubt he could keep up with me now. To tell you the truth, if wizard duelling hadn't been discontinued in Britain, I might well be the reigning champion."
Even Snape found that utterly ridiculous.
Then Lockhart's gaze shifted to Snape. He recalled Snape's school days-hadn't a few Gryffindors often bullied him? They were four years apart, so Lockhart didn't know much about Snape's time at school. Still, he vaguely remembered a student in Slytherin House who never liked washing his hair and was frequently bullied by a few Gryffindors.
In that case, he can't be particularly capable!
Exactly. What could a sour-faced potion brewer possibly do?
Boiling cauldrons dry won't do him any good in a duel!
At that thought, Lockhart's eyes lit up, and he immediately tried to goad him:
"Professor Snape, you would be a-ah, never mind. I'm afraid my powerful magic might injure you. I'd better think of someone else."
"You, injure me? How very interesting-"
Snape was so angry he laughed, his gaze turning decidedly hostile as he looked at Lockhart. "As it happens, I know a thing or two about duelling."
"Then that's wonderful!" Afraid Snape might refuse, Lockhart lunged forward and clapped both hands firmly onto his shoulders. "That settles it, Dumbledore! Snape will be my assistant.
"Don't worry, I won't let the children's Potions Class professor get hurt!" Snape brushed his hands off his shoulders in disgust, then ruthlessly wiped the backs of his own hands on his cloak.
"Since you've reached an agreement, that couldn't be better," Dumbledore said cheerfully, preparing to see them out. "Now, Severus, was there something you wanted to see me about?"
Dumbledore's words brought Snape's anger flooding back. He spoke before Lockhart had even left the Headmaster's Office.
"I want to report a few little thieves to you-they stole my potion ingredients!"
"You've been robbed?" Lockhart, who had practically had one foot out the door of the Headmaster's Office, immediately turned around and strode back. "It seems my duelling assistant has run into a tiny bit of trouble. But catching thieves-this isn't boasting, mind you-if you've read my books, you'll know I've done it countless times. Finding clues and tracking down culprits has never presented any difficulty for me!"
He eagerly turned back, doing his utmost to take the whole affair into his own hands.
"Just leave it to me. I could have the culprits brought to justice as early as tomorrow!"
But neither Snape nor Dumbledore paid him any attention. They had already completed their exchange with a glance.
"The school governors will compensate you for your losses," Dumbledore said. "Also, keep an eye-"
"You don't need to tell me. I'll be keeping an eye on her!" Snape swept his cloak aside, turned, and left.
"What's going on?" Lockhart was still puzzled. Hadn't Snape come to ask for help? Why had he suddenly left?
Unwilling to miss any chance to show off, he hurried after Snape and began chattering in his ear. "Seriously, Snape, with me on the case, I'll definitely catch them with the stolen goods! I'm only helping you for free because we're colleagues. Otherwise, it would be a different price entirely! Come on, take me to your office. I have an automatic tracking spell that will find the culprits the moment I cast it!"
Remembering how Lockhart had made the bones in Harry's arm vanish with a single spell-his talent for healing in reverse-Snape immediately shuddered, terrified that this spell might blow up the rest of his potions!
And thinking of Harry's vanished arm bones made him even angrier.
I've thrown away every last shred of dignity protecting that boy, and this fellow actually dared to hurt him-Lily's son?
You're finished, boy!
"The Duelling Club-I'll be delighted to serve as your assistant!" Snape smiled cruelly.
(Translation: prepare to die!)
But Lockhart was already lost in visions of himself stealing the show.
"Then it's settled. We'll hold a session before Christmas. I may need you to assist me with a small demonstration then. Don't worry, you won't get hurt. We won't use any highly damaging magic, only defensive spells: Expelliarmus, Protego. All right, that one's a bit difficult. Perhaps we should stick to the Disarming Charm."