Chapter 14

Fuck!

Everyone who saw that scene swore inwardly.

Nobara Kugisaki leaped to her feet. "Who does that?! That gutted me!"

God, just thinking about how the bond between 948 and Fyodor had snapped with a single tug was enough to give them a heart attack!

Momo Nishimiya wiped her face and gripped her cursed tool tightly. "Emotional gut punches can kill people, you know!"

The others looked equally unable to accept it, unable to stop themselves from turning looks of both condemnation and sympathy on Fyodor.

Tragic! Too tragic! They didn't even know whether to pity him or blame him.

Fyodor remained expressionless, but the veins bulging on the hand clutching his hat betrayed his inner turmoil.

"You're such a bastard, Fedya." Nikolai Gogol never had anything decent to say. "I like An Xinyi quite a bit too. If you don't want him, you could let me have him."

"Fuck off!" Ranpo jumped to his feet. "An Xinyi doesn't belong to him! What right does he have to give him away?!"

Fyodor gave a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "You can shut up now." A few more words, and he wouldn't be able to resist killing the man.

Koyo Ozaki couldn't help sighing. "This child is far too gentle."

Chūya Nakahara nodded instinctively in agreement. "That gentleness is a kind of cruelty to himself, too." He was so gentle with others that he was far too cruel to himself.

Even Chūya Nakahara couldn't imagine how An Xinyi could be so ruthless toward himself.

Osamu Dazai rested his head on his hand. At those words, something shifted in his eyes. He looked at An Xinyi on the screen, a little puzzled, a little curious, and moved in a way he couldn't quite describe.

Why? Why could you go this far? Why, after everything you had been through, could you still be so gentle, still hold true to who you were at the beginning?

Even after the replacement with "144," An Xinyi's life didn't change much.

As before, he conducted research, gathered information, and patiently eliminated sources of threats to humanity one by one.

"S016" was merely one of them. In terms of threat level, although "S016" could bring about humanity's extinction, it was relatively easy to deal with.

Even An Xinyi couldn't help remarking, "If only every source were as easy to handle as 'S016.'"

After all, they were only three immobile statues. As long as they didn't come into contact with humans, they were harmless.

"Some disasters appear out of nowhere. Even preventing them is a headache." An Xinyi rubbed his temple in frustration. "With some, we can't even identify the source."

"The moment they appear, it's utter devastation."

It was that cruel. Some disasters were difficult to handle even with his ability to restart.

"Mr. An Xinyi, I think you need to rest." DD was utterly sincere.

Every An Xinyi pushed himself too hard. Working day and night was commonplace. No wonder they all had dark circles under their eyes; they had earned them through endless sleepless nights.

"It's all right." An Xinyi's voice was soft. "I can't stop yet."

There was too little time and too much to do. Every An Xinyi lived in fear. Would resting for a second mean overlooking some hidden disaster? Would another second of research let him overcome a little more of humanity's suffering from disease?

Perhaps that was why An Xinyi's replacement rate remained so high, even though things were safe before the disasters struck.

"What does he even take himself for?!" Even an idealist like Doppo Kunikida thought An Xinyi had gone too far. "Even if it's for humanity, he needs to take care of himself!"

"He's used to it," Osamu Dazai said suddenly.

"What?"

"Exactly what I said. He's used to it." Osamu Dazai lowered his eyes, hiding his emotions. "Whether it's dying, being replaced, or squeezing everything out of himself like this, he's done it far, far too many times."

"So he's long since grown used to treating himself this way."

"..." Everyone fell silent. It was beyond words. Could even death become something one grew accustomed to?

"No matter what, no matter who it's for, I can't understand it." Yosano clenched her fists so tightly her nails nearly dug into her flesh. "The way he treats his own life... he holds it far too cheap."

He truly saw himself as nothing more than a meaningless expendable resource, a tool.

Ranpo tugged at his hat. "Really, he's only cruel to himself." He loved other lives, but never his own.

"Ah, or perhaps it's because he has no other choice?" Fyodor smiled mockingly. "After all, we're all useless fools." His former self would never have mocked himself like this.

"..." Everyone fell silent again. That was right. Through those countless loops, no one could help An Xinyi but himself. He could only grope through the darkness alone, unable to cry for help, unable to ask for aid.

Chūya Nakahara tugged at the choker around his neck, his feelings complicated. "Seriously, what an irritating guy. Whatever the case, he could at least try telling someone." He really did want to help him!

Osamu Dazai glanced at Chūya Nakahara and sneered. "A slug will always be a slug. So simple-minded. If it were you, would you trust a stranger that easily?"

Those words stopped Chūya Nakahara's anger in its tracks.

"Besides." The auburn-haired man's voice grew quieter and quieter. "Why do you think he could bear it? The indifference, suspicion, or even harm from someone important to him?"

Ayatsuji Yukito held Mei Misaki tightly in his hands. "In the end, it's simply his way of protecting himself."

Afraid of being hurt, he would rather be alone.

Pitiful, and heartbreaking.

Listening to them, Kasumi Miwa couldn't help saying, "If that's the case, it's just too cruel."

Who could save him?

"With all due respect, sir." Even an AI who needed no rest could hardly bear to watch. He was simply burning through his life, wringing out his potential. "Is the entire An Xinyi species made up of workaholics?!" Not a single one of them rested!

"Well..." An Xinyi's eyes curved with his smile. "Not necessarily. With so many An Xinyis, there are bound to be a few who are different."

"Who?" There was such a rare specimen? They had to protect him!

"You've met him. Though, well, he doesn't exactly count as the same person."

"??"

"143, the one who was just replaced."

"!!"

"Come to think of it, he might have been the An Xinyi most like Zero." An Xinyi chuckled. "Or perhaps not? After all, while 948 went from being An Xinyi to being 948, 143 was 143 from the very beginning."

A different 143. A one-of-a-kind 143.

"I was a little surprised he was replaced so soon."

"But with Ayatsuji Yukito involved, it's understandable."

"?? Tell me!" Who said an AI couldn't gossip? She wanted to know!

"Haha, he scared the life out of you in that loop." An Xinyi gave a playful smile. "After all, not every An Xinyi runs off barely any time after leaving the culture medium, with nothing more than, 'The world is so big. I want to see it.'"

DD: ??!! What kind of outrageous stunt was that?!

An Xinyi couldn't help recalling what 143 had been like back then. Yes, he truly was the An Xinyi most like Zero-or rather, the An Xinyi most like Zero at the very beginning.

Even so, he was 143, and that had never changed.

That afternoon, An Xinyi waved goodbye to the An Xinyis with identical faces in their culture medium. "Goodbye, brothers. I think the world is so big, I ought to go see it!"

When he left, sunlight draped over him and the earth lay beneath his feet. He was more vibrant and radiant than any other An Xinyi.

Like the wind, impossible to catch. Like the clouds, impossible to pin down.

Yes, he was different from all the other An Xinyis. From the very beginning, he had been the one and only 143.

"Th-this is Mr. 143?" Atsushi Nakajima was stunned. "He's completely different."

Seriously, the An Xinyi 143 they had seen earlier hadn't seemed any different from 144! At most, he wasn't quite as much of a shut-in as 144, and occasionally went out for a stroll.

"Keep watching," Osamu Dazai said. Yet the slight flicker in his eyes seemed to betray his own unease.

Feeling the gazes around him, Ayatsuji Yukito pressed his lips together.

Mizuki Tsujimura looked cautiously at Ayatsuji Yukito. "Was he close to you, Mr. Ayatsuji?"

Ayatsuji Yukito didn't answer.

Unlike every other An Xinyi, 143 refused to work tirelessly for humanity and burn himself out.

"At the end of the day, even if I came into being because of Zero, he can't dictate my thoughts, and my life doesn't belong to him."

An Xinyi 143 smiled brilliantly. "Only I can decide what to do with my life, whether it's how I live or how I die."

Exhausting everything he had for humanity, trampling everything that made him who he was.

No matter what, he couldn't understand it. 143 couldn't understand Zero's decision, or the decisions of those An Xinyis who had died.

Since he had been born into this world, surely he ought to truly live in it, no matter what.

With that thought, An Xinyi 143 set out on his journey.

But before he officially departed, he met someone.

Someone who had once lived vividly in this world, only to later become a caged bird.

At this moment, his eyes still held defiance and a yearning for freedom, like a flame, bright and scorching.

How beautiful. I like his eyes.

Those were eyes that resisted, eyes that refused to yield. They held the vigorous vitality 143 lived by and yearned for.

Then-

?

An Xinyi smiled. He had always been willful and reckless; otherwise, he wouldn't have abandoned everything and run away.

"Hey." An Xinyi took that person's hand. "The world's so big. Want to take a spur-of-the-moment trip?"

"Come with me. Let's wander through the world. All the beauty and splendor it holds-would you like to see it?"

Th-that person was-

"Mr. Ayatsuji?!"

Mizuki Tsujimura was utterly dumbfounded.