Wife number five

"Damn you, how dare you hurt my noble body!" Tarnished panted as he drained his last Flask of Crimson Tears.

Before him lay a neatly arranged row of dead soldiers from the gate.

Honestly, Melina was a little surprised.

Without any armor, armed with nothing but a club, he had defeated fourteen fully armored Godrick soldiers, including a Godrick Knight. Tarnished's combat prowess far surpassed that of every other Tarnished she had ever met.

"Boo-hoo, my third wife protected me! Klara, thank you!"

Tarnished hugged the jellyfish, who gently stroked his back with her tentacles like a mother comforting her son.

Had he won because a spirit helped him?

No.

Melina quickly dismissed that explanation. She knew a little martial arts herself and could tell that Tarnished would have won even without the Spirit Jellyfish's help. His fundamentals were incredibly solid, unlike those of the newly arrived Tarnished. Why?

Tarnished dismissed Klara and began pulling the trousers off the corpses with a lecherous grin.

Melina: *...*

All right, she understood now. Tarnished must have traded his intelligence and decency for that fighting ability.

She did not envy him in the slightest.

Fortunately, although Tarnished had little decency, he still had some limits. He liked backstabbing people in the ASS during combat, but he had no interest in stabbing corpses in the ASS.

His main reason for stripping their trousers was to collect equipment.

[Godrick Soldier Helm]: Helm worn by soldiers who serve Godrick the Grafting. Armor consisting of an iron helm and chain mail.

[Tree-and-Beast Surcoat]: Armor worn by soldiers who serve Godrick the Grafting. The surcoat depicts the Erdtree of the distant past and the Beast Regent, symbol of the golden lineage-relics of bygone glory.

[Godrick Soldier Gauntlets]: Gauntlets worn by soldiers who serve Godrick the Grafting. Rusted and filthy from fighting in an endless war.

[Godrick Soldier Greaves]: Greaves worn by soldiers who serve Godrick the Grafting. Rusted and filthy from fighting in an endless war.

"They stink!" Tarnished pinched his nose. "Don't these soldiers ever bathe? Whatever, let's check out Sir Knight. His underlings might be slobs, but surely the boss has some standards."

He began stripping the Godrick Knight's trousers next.

[Godrick Knight Helm]: Helm worn by knights who serve Godrick the Grafting, adorned with a plume of withered gray hair.

[Godrick Knight Armor]: Armor worn by knights who serve Godrick the Grafting. The emblem on the left breast depicts a double-headed battle axe, symbol of the golden lineage. Once, they took pride in their strength.

[Godrick Knight Gauntlets]: Gauntlets worn by knights who serve Godrick the Grafting. Old, but their luster remains undiminished.

[Godrick Knight Greaves]: Greaves worn by knights who serve Godrick the Grafting. Old, but their luster remains undiminished.

A knight was a knight, after all, with far more class than a common soldier. Sir Knight's armor might not qualify as "lady-owned, practically new," but at least it did not come with its own body odor. Tarnished happily accepted it.

As for whether Sir Knight wanted to donate his armor, he had not objected, so that clearly meant he agreed.

Tarnished gleefully put on the full Godrick Knight set, and promptly stopped feeling gleeful.

The armor offered impressive defense, but its weight was equally impressive. Simply put, wearing it made Tarnished extremely cumbersome. Both movement and rolling were severely hindered, drastically reducing his mobility.

There was no helping it. The real world was not a game; it had to follow the laws of physics.

Everyone had a different maximum equip load based on their endurance. Equipment weighing less than 30% of that maximum counted as a light load, allowing all sorts of nimble movements in combat and evasion. It suited warriors who relied on speed.

Equipment weighing 30-70% of the maximum counted as a medium load. It reduced mobility somewhat while maintaining a degree of defense, making it the most broadly useful approach to armor.

Above 70%, it became a heavy load. Mobility suffered drastically in this state. Defense improved considerably, but moving quickly became impossible, making the wearer a sitting duck on the battlefield. That was Tarnished's current situation.

Apparently, some people even wore equipment exceeding 100% of their maximum load. Forget rolling or jumping-even walking became incredibly difficult. Such setups were generally reserved for special roles in army battles and required dedicated supporting equipment to achieve their full potential. Choosing one for solo combat was undoubtedly asking to die.

Matching armor to one's carrying capacity and choosing the right fighting style and load category had always been a complex subject among warriors. Sacrifice defense for mobility and become a tough guy who traded blow for bloody blow, or build endurance, wear the thickest armor, and take the nastiest beatings? Everyone had their own standards.

But Tarnished chose neither. He had just one principle when picking armor: look cool!

After all, power was temporary, but style was forever.

As the Elden Lord, he naturally had an image to maintain.

Tarnished thought it over and discarded the helmet first, because it hid his handsome head.

Then he discarded the breastplate, because it was the heaviest piece.

Considering that he still needed to wield various weapons, Tarnished also discarded the second-heaviest piece, the greaves.

And so he kept only the [Godrick Knight Gauntlets], making a magnificent evolution from a naked man wearing nothing but a loincloth into a... naked man wearing a loincloth and a pair of iron gauntlets.

Tarnished examined his reflection in a puddle. "Looks a little lewd, but there's nothing shameful about my strong, pure body. Consider it a little fan service for Melu."

Melina: ...No, thank you.

Unfortunately, Tarnished could not hear Melina's thoughts. Having finished choosing his armor, he began selecting weapons.

The soldiers had three kinds of weapons.

[Godrick's Soldiers' Straight Sword]: Straight sword carried by regular soldiers in Godrick's Soldiers, featuring an intricate design. Long use has degraded its quality and blackened its surface, yet it shows signs of maintenance-though by all rights, the soldiers should have long since lost their minds.

[War Pick]: A combat pickaxe with a sharp, beaklike protrusion on one side of its head. A simple but effective weapon whose heavy thrusting attacks can easily pierce metal armor.

[Broadhead Spear]: A spear with a broad blade. In addition to thrusting, it can perform sweeping attacks, making it suitable for changing battle conditions.

Besides those, Tarnished found two more weapons in the carriages at the Gatefront ruins.

[Godrick's Soldiers' Greatsword]: Greatsword carried by regular soldiers in Godrick's Soldiers, featuring an intricate design.

[Flail]: A weapon with a striking head attached to the handle by a chain. Its spiked ball can cause blood loss. Its attacks cannot be parried, and charged attacks keep the ball spinning for powerful blows.

Tarnished chose the Godrick's Soldiers' Straight Sword because it looked cool.

In addition to those weapons, there were three kinds of shields.

[Brass Shield]: A shield with a face covered in brass. On the larger side among medium shields, it was commonly used during the Shattering.

[Godrick's Soldiers' Greatshield]: A wooden tower shield commonly used during the Shattering. Greatshields offer excellent damage negation and defensive stability, and readily deflect enemy attacks.

[Gilded Greatshield]: A metal greatshield coated in gold, carried by knights who serve Godrick. The gold coating imitates the primordial Erdtree and has a reddish tinge-a color of longing for home.

Tarnished was a true shield fanatic. At the sight of the gleaming Brass Shield, his whole body trembled again, and he called out in a quavering voice, "Melu."

Melina: ?

"The Brass Shield is my fourth wife now. You've dropped a place. You're wife number five."

Melina: ...He won't even leave inanimate objects alone?

Whatever. She was used to it. No thoughts, no cares, no complaints.

Tarnished eagerly picked up the Brass Shield, but its heft made his heart sink. After several attempts, he discovered that the shield itself was absurdly heavy. With his current strength, he could not wield it with any agility.

The Brass Shield required 16 strength just to "hold," while Tarnished currently had only 10.

What could he do if he lacked the stats? Simple!

Tarnished shouted, "I got where I am today through my own hard work! Melu, give me some stat points!"

No response.

"Melu?"

Still no response.

"Wife number five? I want to level up. I want to turn runes into strength. Hey, hey, can you hear me? Anybody home? Hello, hello..."

Melina sighed. "Then touch a Site of Grace. I need the Erdtree's power to channel the runes into your body."

"Oh, right. Haha, I forgot."

Tarnished scratched his head and obediently sat down at the Gatefront Site of Grace. As promised, Melina appeared and extended her right hand. "This will only take a moment. Let me touch you."

His gauntlet was a little cold as Tarnished took Melina's hand... and placed it on his firm abdominal muscles.

Melina: ?

"Didn't you say you wanted to touch me? I knew you'd been lusting after my body for ages." Tarnished wore a look of indulgent resignation. "You may be merely my fifth wife, but satisfying my wife's needs is my responsibility as a husband. I'll let you enjoy this strong, pure body of mine. Touch these perfect abs for as long as you like!"

Melina remained expressionless. "...No, your hand will suffice."

"You actually want to hold hands? Aren't you being a little greedy? Your infatuation with my body is understandable, but holding hands is a privilege reserved for my first wife." Tarnished sighed. "I can't let you hold my hand, but to make up for it, I'll let you touch something even better."

With that, Melina felt Tarnished pull her hand down along his abs.

Melina's composure faltered despite herself, and she hurriedly said, "No, your abs are fine. Your abs are quite enough."

Tarnished showed no sign of stopping. She had no wish to add a memory of touching a slime monster to her precious recollections, so she immediately activated her ability and began channeling the power of the runes into his body.

In an instant, Tarnished's consciousness was drawn into a strange space where he could clearly see his various "physical attributes."

Level: 1

HP: 414

Focus: 78

Stamina: 96

Discovery: 110

Memory slots: 2

Vigor: 10

Focus: 10

Endurance: 10

Strength: 10

Dexterity: 10

Intelligence: 10

Faith: 10

Arcane: 10

Huh? Tarnished actually has 10 intelligence?

After a brief moment of doubt, Melina explained, "This is another blessing Goddess Marika bestowed upon all Tarnished. Through this clear presentation, Tarnished can freely distribute the power of runes among their various attributes and steadily grow stronger."

Tarnished nodded repeatedly. "So that's how it works. Thank goodness you explained it, Melu. Otherwise, I never would've figured it out."

"You're welcome. I am not a true Finger Maiden and cannot guide you. This is all I can do." After that modest disclaimer, Melina continued, "To survive in the Lands Between, I suggest improving your vigor first. Raise it to..."

"Strength." Tarnished interrupted Melina without a moment's hesitation. "Strength is what makes a lord. Put all my runes into strength!"

Melina sighed softly, but reserved as she was, she did not object. "Then, as you wish."

Power flowed into Tarnished's body. In accordance with his wishes, his strength rose from 10 to 11, and his level rose from 1 to 2.

"Yes, just like that! Keep going!" Tarnished cheered loudly.

But Melina did not respond.

"Move, Melu! Why did you stop moving? Are you tired? How about you take a break and let me do the moving?"

The innocent maiden did not understand his suggestive remarks and calmly said, "You have insufficient runes."

Tarnished froze. "What?"

"I said you no longer have enough runes to level up again," Melina explained. "Runes are fragments of the Elden Ring. When the Ring shattered, these fragments fell into the mortal world and entered the bodies of living creatures, becoming one with their lives. Thus, taking someone's life also allows you to take the runes within them. However, the number of runes each individual contains varies according to their abilities. The stronger a creature, the greater the quantity of runes within it. Conversely, weak beings such as Godrick soldiers contain relatively few."

Tarnished stared blankly. "How few is relatively few?"

"A Godrick soldier has only 67 runes, while a Godrick Knight has 260."

"Then that means..." Tarnished counted on his fingers. "Thirteen Godrick soldiers gave me 871 runes, plus the Godrick Knight's 260, for a total of... 9.8 billion runes?"

The corners of Melina's mouth twitched several times before she corrected him. "1,131 runes. Going from level 1 to level 2 requires 689 runes, leaving you with 442. That falls short of the 706 runes needed to go from level 2 to level 3."

Tarnished was speechless. "Why does leveling up come with price hikes?"

Melina shook her head. "Humans have limits. The further you surpass those limits, the greater the price, and thus the more runes you require."

"But I'm the Elden Lord! Can't you give me a discount?"

"First, you are not the Elden Lord. Second, even if you were, these rules were established by Goddess Marika and cannot be changed."

"Fine. So the first step to saving the world is making money? Raising capital? Am I actually saving the Lands Between Limited rather than the Lands Between?"

Melina still did not understand Tarnished's strange remarks, but without enough runes, there could be no leveling up. That was one rule she would never bend.

"There is no need to rush," Melina advised. "Travel the world, hone your skills, and gather runes. You can grow stronger gradually."

"That won't do." Tarnished shook his head. "I need to defeat the lord of Stormveil Castle as soon as possible."

"...For the girl in the red hood?"

"For Little Red Hood, and for you." Tarnished smiled. "Didn't you say earlier that you wanted me to challenge powerful enemies?"

Melina paused, then felt her heart beat a little faster.

Then Tarnished added, "Once I retrieve that fellow's fragment of the Elden Ring, you can repay me by sharing my bed, Melu!"

Melina's heartbeat returned to normal.

To think I expected anything from someone like him. I've grown weak, too.

Melina withdrew her hand from Tarnished's abs and vanished into motes of light, her face expressionless.

"We're practically an old married couple. Why so shy? Still, I like it!" Tarnished chuckled and rallied his spirits. "All right, the next task is making money. Lots and lots of money. I'm saving the Lands Between Limited, no matter what!"

Several minutes later, Kale stared thoughtfully at a large heap of battered armor and weapons.

Tarnished smiled. "Shopkeeper, how much will you give me for these?"