Wait, wait, wait!
Was I dreaming? How had I become a Wretch Tarnished and ended up in Elden Ring? And was this the Chapel of Anticipation?
I raised a hand and slapped my left cheek.
"Holy shit, that hurt! Did I really have to slap myself that hard?"
The burning pain in my cheek relentlessly assaulted my brain-this definitely wasn't a dream! I really had come to the Lands Between!
"Woo-hoo! Awesome! This is so fucking awesome!"
"Whoa, my body feels so light, and I'm brimming with strength! Look at these biceps! Power!"
"Just what you'd expect from a member of the finest warrior legion in the Lands Between! Anyway, this club feels like it weighs three or four pounds, about as much as a sword! Hah! Hah! Hyah!"
I swung my arms and leaped around to my heart's content. Anyone who saw me might have mistaken me for that wild monkey who had just sprung out of a rock, except that monkey had been completely naked.
Well, I was something of a shut-in, after all. Once I started working, my backside spent even more time glued to a chair. I looked skinny, but my body always felt heavy, and running just a few steps left me exhausted.
So, honestly, having a body that was suddenly so light and agile took some getting used to.
At the same time, it confirmed again and again that I wasn't dreaming. Everything was utterly real!
So this really was the world of Elden Ring, right?
Hehehe, no time to waste. Next up... of course I had to see it with my own eyes-the golden radiance drifting like snow the moment I opened the door, and that Erdtree towering into the heavens!
Go! Go! Go!
My feet had already started carrying me toward the chapel doors before I realized someone was sitting in front of them!
She wore a long white dress. Beneath her bowed head, a black spider lily bloomed on her chest.
"Is this my Finger Maiden? Pretty faithful to the game... though I think she was a little farther to the side in the game." I crouched down.
Sure enough, the hole in her chest had dealt a fatal wound.
After gently laying her down, I found a hole in the corresponding spot on the door as well.
"She must have been trying to keep something from getting in, only for it to stab straight through her." I lowered my head. Near the doorway, there was writing on the floor in a script I had never seen, yet I understood it instinctively the moment I looked at it. "Though the guidance has long since shattered, please become the Elden Lord."
A surge of passion welled up in my chest.
I turned and bowed deeply to the departed Finger Maiden, answering firmly, "Of course. That's what I came here for."
Unfortunately, all I had was a wooden club, so I couldn't give her a proper burial.
I could still take the portal back here from the Four Belfries later, right? I settled the maiden's body somewhere for the time being, then pushed the doors open with all my strength.
I had lost count of how many times I had seen this view. Even the deep toll of an ancient bell that played upon entering a new area sounded automatically in my mind.
The world was gray as a rainy day. Tiny leaves drifted down from the distant sky, like a snowfall of gold.
And there, an immense golden tree held up the entire firmament with its luxuriant branches and leaves!
Ah, the eternal Erdtree, the symbol of the entire Lands Between, and the world tree of Elden Ring.
No matter how many times I saw it, the overwhelming emotion in my heart never faded.
I tightened my grip on the club once more, marveling again that I had truly set foot on this fantastical land of magic and swords.
"All right, unless something unexpected happens, next up should be Elden Ring's first boss-the Grafted Scion." As I crossed the swaying wooden bridge, I weighed things up in my mind. In the game, almost nobody except the best of the best could beat him on their first encounter...
"Heh, but I'm an 'expert' with at least a dozen playthroughs under my belt! I've mastered every build! Sure, I've started as a Wretch Tarnished, but this Tarnished body feels way stronger than it did in the game."
"Watch me clear the whole thing without dying once!"
...Well, if I couldn't manage it, it was just a scripted death anyway. No harm done.
Squish!
An indescribably sticky sensation came from beneath my feet, and at the same time, the smell of rust forced its way into my nostrils.
It felt like blood.
Ahead of me, bones lay scattered across the open plaza beneath a statue of Marika the Eternal, posed like Jesus on the cross, attracting gray butterfly after gray butterfly.
The air of death permeated everything, sending cold sweat trickling down my skin.
The next second, a monster that heralded death sprang from behind the statue and crashed down before me, kicking up a thick cloud of dust.
"Wow, he really is a monster among monsters," I couldn't help remarking.
He resembled a giant spider, roughly the size of a tank. Beneath his massive body, countless arms and legs were jumbled together in such confusion that I couldn't tell them apart.
And yet he had the fairly delicate face of a young boy. What a waste.
"Aah-!"
The piercing, miserable shriek left my eardrums ringing.
Almost at the same instant, a cold glint flashed toward my head!
My warrior's body instinctively stepped back, but a second slash followed right behind the first, leaving me no chance to dodge.
I could only raise my club and try to block his attack.
To my surprise, his strength was immense. He sent my entire body flying, and I slammed headfirst into the ruined wall behind me.
Pain swept through me, and fear erupted in my mind!
Die! Die! Die! Die!
A-at this rate, was I really going to die?!
The wind whistled as blades thrust through it. My body moved before my mind could catch up, rolling clear of the Grafted Scion's double thrust.
At that, he let out a shriek and raised his entire upper body. His longswords and grotesque hands rained down attacks from above, like a giant trying to smash a toy.
How was I supposed to fight a monster like this?!
Luckily, the Tarnished's muscle memory as a warrior helped me dodge attack after attack.
Out of the corner of my eye, I looked toward the gate on the other side of the plaza.
If I remembered right, even if I beat this guy outright on a second playthrough, I would still fall from the end of the cliff beyond that gate, then drift to the other shore and trigger the next part of the story.
Revenge could wait! Right now, I needed to get out of here!
"Aah-!"
Damn it, had he figured out what I was planning?
The entire monster curled into himself, becoming a whirlwind of blades that forced me back. At the same time, his enormous body completely cut off my escape route.
Hey, hey, hey, I could already see the red [You Died] appearing before my eyes!
Or... did scripted deaths not exist here?
Looking at the heaps of bones scattered across the plaza, I instinctively swallowed.
It really was an open-world Souls game. I'd barely started, and I was already facing the greatest crisis of my life! What was I supposed to do?