The Madman in Town

"Hehehe, this humble scholar is invincible under heaven! Kekeke!"

On a street bustling with people, a young man wearing a tattered blue robe, a wooden sword strapped to his back, suddenly tossed his book aside, planted his hands on his hips, and threw his head back in laughter.

The sudden outburst gave the passing pedestrians a fright. Annoyed, they were about to curse him out, but their gazes froze when they looked up and saw the disheveled young man.

Oh, it's that mad scholar. Never mind, then.

They muttered inwardly about their rotten luck and went on their way, one after another.

The blue-robed scholar cackled, picked his book back up, and crouched on a street corner, leafing through it with feverish eyes.

Now and then, passersby would glance over to see what had the blue-robed scholar so engrossed, only to discover, to their astonishment, that it was a blank book with nothing written in it at all. He really is a madman, they thought, before tossing him a few copper coins in varying amounts, shaking their heads, and leaving.

The blue-robed scholar noticed none of this, utterly immersed in his own world.

The blue-robed scholar's name was Chen Xun. No one knew where he had come from.

The townspeople only knew that since this blue-robed scholar had appeared in Little River Town, he had never left.

By now, it had been two and a half years, and everyone knew there was a mad scholar in blue living in town.

Chen Xun crouched on the street corner reading like this, though no one knew what he was reading. Sometimes he cried out in surprise, sometimes he drooled and grinned foolishly, and sometimes he stood up to perform strange movements that stunned onlookers, like some bizarre creature.

Soon, the sun sank in the west.

"Grrr rumble."

Chen Xun's stomach growled.

Curious, Chen Xun rubbed his belly and said, "Do that again for me?"

"Grrr rumble."

"Hey!" Chen Xun was instantly intrigued. He hurried to his feet and randomly grabbed a bewildered old passerby, pointing at his own stomach as he asked in shock:

"It's making noises! Can you hear it making noises?"

Seeing that it was Chen Xun, Old Li pressed his lips together, leaned toward Chen Xun's belly, and pretended to listen closely. Then he nodded with a solemn air. "Yes, it's making noises."

With that, he cast Chen Xun a cautious look, afraid that Chen Xun might do something outrageous to him at any moment.

Old Li was getting on in years, and he worried that his reputation would be ruined in his twilight years.

Chen Xun's eyes were suspicious. "Why is it making noises?"

Old Li gave a dry cough. "It's hungry. Naturally, it makes noises."

Old Li did not want to spend any more time with this madman, Chen Xun, and wanted to flee. Unfortunately, Chen Xun had a tight grip on one of his hands, leaving him no chance to escape.

"Hungry?"

Chen Xun's features scrunched together. He tugged at his ears and scratched his cheeks, muttering obsessively, "How could it be hungry? That's not right! How could this humble scholar be hungry?! So annoying! It's so annoying that it keeps making noises!! Aaaaaah!!"

"Holy shit!" Frightened by Chen Xun's behavior, Old Li hurriedly said, "It's all right, it's all right! Calm down first! I'll take you to eat. Once you're full, it won't make noises anymore!"

At this, Chen Xun calmed down a little and looked at Old Li expectantly. "Really?"

Looking sheepish, Old Li helplessly glanced out of the corner of his eye at the wrist Chen Xun was gripping tightly, then nodded. "Re...ally."

And so, under the strange gazes of the many passersby, Chen Xun and Old Li left hand in hand. Old Li's face and ears were red the whole way as he inwardly lamented that his reputation in his twilight years was ruined.

Normally, he took a detour whenever he saw this mad scholar. Today, a moment's carelessness had gotten him caught. What rotten luck.

Happiness Noodle Shop.

Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp-

Chen Xun buried his head and devoured his noodles, utterly ignoring the other customers' astonished gazes.

Old Li, sitting across the table, was not looking at Chen Xun, but at the tall stack of bowls on the table.

Ten bowls. In other words, Chen Xun was eating his eleventh bowl.

Old Li's heart pounded. This lad could eat far too much! Was he the reincarnation of a starved ghost?!

No, no, I can't let him keep eating like this. At this rate, he'd eat even mountains of gold and silver bare!

"All gone."

Just then, Chen Xun looked up at Old Li and pointed his chopsticks at the bowl before him.

The old man looked at the empty bowl with difficulty, inwardly exclaiming, Good grief, he's finished another one. Just like before, he didn't even spare the broth.

"Uh, Chen Xun, you've eaten eleven bowls already. Aren't you full yet?"

Old Li asked tentatively.

Chen Xun rubbed his face and said with absolute certainty in his eyes, "No!"

Old Li froze.

Good grief, if you're checking whether you're full, rub your belly! What the hell are you rubbing your face for?

Besides, can't you feel whether you're full?

But no sooner had he thought this than Old Li abruptly came to his senses. Damn it, I almost forgot. This lad is a madman to begin with. How could I treat him as though he thinks like a normal person?

Old Li sighed, felt his pocket, and said with an awkward smile, "Chen Xun, I don't have much money on me, and I still have to buy a hairpin for my granddaughter later. I don't have any spare money to buy you more noodles!"

What he meant was that eleven bowls of noodles were already his limit.

But Chen Xun only frowned. "Money?"

Old Li was dumbfounded. "You have to pay for noodles. You don't expect the owner to let you eat for free, do you?"

Chen Xun nodded thoughtfully.

Seeing this, Old Li brightened. Chen Xun might be mad, but he still had some basic capacity for thought. That made things easier. As long as Chen Xun understood, all was well.

At least right now, the lad seemed much more normal than before. He could hold a normal conversation.

"Then why don't we just not pay?"

Unexpectedly, Chen Xun suddenly made this solemn declaration.

Old Li's expression became quite a sight. His mouth hung open, and he did not know what to say.

The other customers and the noodle shop owner heard Chen Xun's words too.

The owner immediately stepped forward and snapped, "Chen Xun, if you dare dine and dash, I'll report you to the authorities and have you arrested!"

But how could Chen Xun understand anything about reporting him to the authorities? He merely turned and looked at the owner as though he were an idiot.

The corners of the owner's mouth kept twitching. Today, an idiot was actually looking at him like he was an idiot... Then his anger flared, and he was about to teach Chen Xun a lesson!

He could hardly help being angry. After all, he had often taken pity on Chen Xun and given him food. Who would have thought that Chen Xun would remember none of his kindness and even look at him like that?

"Ahem, Old Xu, Old Xu, don't be angry. We're paying, we're paying. I was treating Chen Xun to a meal today."

Old Li hurriedly stood up and handed over the thirty-three copper coins he had counted out beforehand for the noodles, then pulled Chen Xun up and ran out of the noodle shop.

Only after putting away the money did the owner's expression soften considerably. Still, he watched Chen Xun's retreating figure and snapped, "Hmph, what an ungrateful wolf. If I ever give him food again, my surname isn't Xu!"

"Oh, calm down, boss. Why take offense at a madman?"

"That's right, boss. When you think about it, Chen Xun is a pitiful fellow too, going mad at such a young age. Ah."

"..."

The customers offered words of comfort one after another. The owner forced a smile and turned to enter the kitchen.

Meanwhile.

"Chen Xun, it's getting late. I have to buy a hairpin for my granddaughter, then I'm going home."

Old Li said with a smile.

As he spoke, his eyes frantically signaled toward the hand Chen Xun had clasped in his own.

Chen Xun looked bewildered for a moment, then began waving his arms and stamping his feet madly, saying excitedly, "What's home? You're going home? Can this humble scholar go home too?"

Old Li's smile stiffened.

Inwardly, he cried, This is bad!