Never Seen a Monk This Handsome and Extraordinary?

True Immortal Ruyi bowed low, his face brimming with hope.

What was official recognition?

Independent cultivators in the mortal realm toiled for thousands of years for nothing more than an immortal writ that would let them rightfully enjoy incense offerings.

Chen Wei understood perfectly.

Grant him official recognition?

The Folk Customs and Morals Inspection Bureau itself was still a makeshift outfit only just thrown together. Even its provisions and salaries depended on the Bright Hall's favor. Where would it find spare grain to feed the younger brother of a demon sage who had claimed a mountain as his kingdom?

Besides, all official appointments to the river and water palaces below fell under the Four Seas Dragon Palaces and the Water Virtue Star Lord.

He was merely a minor Heavenly Immortal. However much authority he held, he certainly had no right to hand out offices and promises on his own.

However.

In the halls of government, the most important thing was to remain unfathomable.

Since the other party wanted a pie, he might as well draw him one. As for what the future held, who could say for certain?

Seeing Chen Wei resting his hand on the Jade Seal without a word, True Immortal Ruyi could not gauge his intentions and fell silent himself.

Spring water dripped.

Chen Wei pretended to deliberate for a full half-stick of incense before slowly lifting his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips.

He nodded and drew out his official tones. "Ah, True Immortal, what you say is not entirely without merit. The Heavenly Court has enjoyed peace for many years, and the doors of the Lingxiao Palace have always stood open to ambitious souls throughout the Three Realms. The Great Heavenly Venerable's grace is vast, and our tradition is generous and tolerant. If everyone clung to old ways, would that not chill the aspirations of independent cultivators everywhere?"

There was nothing of substance in those words, yet Chen Wei delivered them with righteous conviction.

True Immortal Ruyi nodded repeatedly as he listened, believing the immortal official was beginning to soften.

"However..." Chen Wei changed tack, his gaze settling on distant West Liang City. "Rules are dead, but immortals are alive. Still, everything must follow its proper procedures and order. Those above value people who get things done, not empty promises. The drying of the Mother-Child River is a major case that has alarmed the Bright Hall.

At this point, he smiled meaningfully. "If you wish to serve the Heavenly Court with proper standing, True Immortal, you must first resolve the Mother-Child River's troubles. Only with solid achievements on my desk can I submit a memorial and petition on your behalf."

True Immortal Ruyi had lived for untold years and was an old hand at cunning. He was hardly someone a few empty words could fool.

He would not loose the hawk without seeing the bone.

He gave two dry chuckles and rambled evasively. "You honor me, my lord. It is just that the Western Liang national fortune is complicated, and the earth veins and water eye beneath the Mother-Child River have been battered by resentment accumulated over the years. Moving them and opening new channels would cost a great deal. My humble sanctuary at the Fetus-Dropping Spring is impoverished, and my purse is thin. Besides, with my status still unsettled, I fear those good-for-nothing lads under me may prove difficult to mobilize..."

Shifting responsibility, haggling over terms.

The mercenary nature of an unaffiliated demon was laid bare.

Chen Wei could not be bothered to waste more breath on this old fox. He promptly took out a jade token carved with a golden star pattern.

"True Immortal, take a look at this."

True Immortal Ruyi had still been smacking his lips and lamenting his hardships, but the instant his gaze touched the command token, his expression froze.

He was no ignorant mountain spirit from the mortal realm.

Back when the Great Sage Equal to Heaven journeyed west and immortals from across the Heavenly Court descended to set obstacles in his path, Ruyi had done plenty of secret digging into their backgrounds.

That distinctive golden star pattern on the jade token could belong to no immortal in the Heavenly Court other than Taibai Jinxing, who relieved distress and proclaimed decrees on Heaven's behalf.

To see the token was to see the Star Lord himself.

"The... the Star Lord's command token?!" True Immortal Ruyi's expression changed faster than a page could turn, and he declared loudly, "Your assignment is my bounden duty, my lord! Within four hours... no, within two hours, I will have sweet water flowing through that dry riverbed again! I will not delay your meritorious work!"

Seeing this, Chen Wei put away the token. "You truly understand the greater good, True Immortal. Just what one would expect of an outstanding talent from Accumulating Thunder Mountain."

In the affairs of the Three Realms, connections came first.

With a strong enough backer, one could sweep the board.

Empty and solid, true and false-the fox borrowed the tiger's might!

This was a rule observed throughout the Three Realms. Everyone, remember it well.

It was not on last year's exam, and it would not be on this year's either. Your zero was sitting right here. Memorize it or don't~

The two immortals were exchanging insincere pleasantries.

Suddenly, the clear sky blazed with light.

The dark clouds above Jieyang Mountain scattered without warning. At the far edge of the sky, brilliant Buddhist radiance pierced the mist and descended straight toward the Fallen Embryo Spring Thatched Cottage.

Before the Buddhist light reached the ground, the sandalwood fragrance unique to a virtuous, eminent monk had already filled the valley.

True Immortal Ruyi's face had been full of flattery, but when he saw the figure atop the leading cloud, his expression went from sunny to overcast.

The Sandalwood Merit Buddha?

Xuanzang had now attained Buddhahood and had the Great Thunderclap Monastery behind him. How could an unaffiliated demon who had merely claimed a mountain dare provoke him?

If that damned monkey's master casually delivered him into the next life, even the Bull Demon King of Accumulating Thunder Mountain would have nowhere to seek justice.

"Exalted... exalted immortal!" True Immortal Ruyi's legs went weak. He hurriedly cupped his hands toward Chen Wei. "This humble demon... this humble demon will go outside West Liang City at once to clear the earth veins and deal with the Mother-Child River! Official business is urgent; I dare not slacken. I'll slip... I'll take my leave!"

Before his words had faded.

The old demon flickered and vanished in an instant.

Of course, he had not forgotten to take the fruit basket. That was a tangible benefit, after all.

Chen Wei shook his head and turned his gaze toward the clouds, feeling faintly surprised.

His Immortal Second Generation deputy really was headstrong.

He had thought Yang Niansan's trip to Spirit Mountain was merely a fit of pique. Who would have imagined she would actually invite the Sandalwood Merit Buddha down to the mortal world?

The clouds descended.

Yang Niansan was the first to land, stepping down on a long rainbow. Her fair, pretty face was full of triumph as she cast Chen Wei a sidelong look.

See that? When I say I'll invite someone, I mean it.

Behind her, the Sandalwood Merit Buddha slowly stepped off the Auspicious Cloud. His palms were joined, but a trace of intractable sorrow lingered amid his kindly features.

Clearly, the absurd karmic entanglement of having his gilded statues worshipped throughout the Western Liang Women's Kingdom, facing beds of lovemaking day and night, had left his Buddha-heart unsettled.

At the Buddha's side.

There followed a portly, swollen figure whose great belly jiggled as he walked: none other than the Altar-Cleansing Envoy-Zhu Bajie.

The envoy looked rather dashing, however. He was not dressed as a monk, and his black hair flowed freely.

At their old haunt on Jieyang Mountain, the scripture pilgrims reunited.

Zhu Bajie had barely planted his feet before his gaze was drawn to the large stone stele beside the spring.

The bold characters on it were particularly offensive to the eye.

Bajie snorted coldly and drew the Nine-Toothed Rake from behind him. "That bull demon is outrageously arrogant! How dare he erect such an insolent thing outside his mountain gate! If Brother Monkey saw it, wouldn't he turn Jieyang Mountain upside down? Old Pig here will sweep his courtyard for him today!"

With that, he wasted no time, lifting the rake high and smashing it down on the bluestone stele.

In a few swift blows, he left not even a fragment of the stele behind.

Having smashed the eyesore.

Zhu Bajie put away his weapon, freed one hand to brush back the hair over his forehead, and gave Chen Wei a sidelong glance. "What? Never seen a monk this handsome and extraordinary?"

"This humble official, Chen Wei, pays his respects to Marshal Tianpeng!" Chen Wei immediately cupped his fists and offered his greeting in a ringing voice.

One "Marshal" was worth a thousand words.

Hearing his old, awe-inspiring title, Bajie grinned so broadly that his eyes disappeared and nodded again and again. "Oh my! For a mere minor immortal official, you certainly know how things work! Quite the silver tongue! Much more agreeable than the Protector of Horses. Next time I attend a banquet at the Bright Hall, if I run into old Taibai, I'll certainly put in a few good words for you!"

Chen Wei's expression remained unchanged as he replied with perfect composure, "Many thanks for your support, Marshal!"

In immortal society, a few exchanged words were enough to forge a favorable bond.

Bajie was thoroughly pleased. He promptly turned his enormous head toward Yang Niansan beside him. "San..."

"Master!" Yang Niansan's eyelids twitched wildly. She raised her voice, cutting the pig off. "Shouldn't we set out first and visit West Liang City to settle those old grievances?"

They looked toward her voice.

Only to find the Sandalwood Merit Buddha crouched beside the spring, carefully wiping mud from the edges of his shoes.

Hearing her urging.

Xuanzang waved a hand without even lifting his head. "No hurry, no hurry. Allow this humble monk to brush away the surrounding dust first."

When he finished wiping, he looked at Zhu Bajie and began to admonish him. "Bajie, you too. If you must smash a sign, then smash it, but why be so rough and disturb the flowers and grasses on the mountain? Oh dear, why are you always so impetuous? Those flying stone fragments dirtied your shoes again. Hurry and wipe them clean!"