Two auspicious clouds descended toward the Eastern Victory Divine Continent.
Chen Wei stood at the front of his cloud, while Ma Muzhi remained half a step behind to show the distinction in their ranks.
The two newly appointed immortal officials both wore brand-new jade-green everyday robes. A faint shimmer flowed through the fabric, and gold-thread patterns adorned the cuffs.
Each wore a token at his waist, marking his legitimate registration as a Heavenly Immortal.
Clothes made the immortal.
With a full set of proper attire, they would embody respectability wherever they went in the mortal realm.
The air of an immortal official would reveal itself naturally, even without putting on airs.
Their clouds pierced the sea of clouds, bringing the territory of Flower-Fruit Mountain into clear view.
Ma Muzhi leaned halfway forward, his eyes turning. "Lord Chen, this subordinate ventures to offer a suggestion."
"Speak." Chen Wei kept his gaze ahead.
"By the rules, we ought to visit the local mountain god or earth god's temple first," Ma Muzhi said with a chuckle. "But all we'd do there is look through the records and drink a couple of cups of welcoming tea. They must have caught wind of our arrival already. They might even be sweeping the mats outside the temple gates to welcome us, with a whole set of excuses ready and waiting. If we go, we'll hand them the initiative and let them lead us around by the nose."
"Let's take the road less traveled!"
"We'll bypass them and head straight to the scene while they're unprepared. Catch them completely off guard!"
After hearing him out, Chen Wei remarked, "An excellent plan! Since we're taking an unconventional route, let's establish a rule: no head-on clashes. Remember our division of roles. If we run into someone in charge, I'll play the good cop, and you'll play the bad cop."
It was an old interrogation routine used by the Heavenly Court's inspectors.
One played the bad cop to apply pressure, while the other played the good cop to soothe the target.
Ma Muzhi nodded repeatedly, his face brimming with slyness. "Naturally. We'll coat ourselves in sugar, then stab them in the back!"
Chen Wei offered no objection and merely swept his sleeve.
The two clouds silently avoided the main peak, circled around the mountain god's temple, and descended toward Flower-Fruit Mountain.
The mountain truly deserved its place among the Eastern Victory Divine Continent's foremost blessed grotto-heavens and celebrated landscapes. Even without venturing deep inside, they could sense the vast spiritual energy coursing faintly through its earthly veins.
On the distant cliffs, ancient pines stood lush and green, and waterfalls streamed down like ribbons of white silk.
Several monkeys darted nimbly through the distant woods, occasionally letting out a long cry that echoed through the empty valleys.
The scenery was splendid, brimming with life.
And yet.
Closer at hand, the orchards presented an entirely different sight.
Hundreds upon thousands of spirit peach trees and Immortal Apricot Trees, which should have been laden with abundant fruit, stood with yellowed, withered branches.
The young fruit nearing ripeness looked as though its vitality had been sucked dry.
Shriveled like firewood, lifeless and still.
Half alive, half dead.
Chen Wei's brows drew together slightly. The case records had spoken the truth; this blight was indeed suspicious.
He exchanged a glance with Ma Muzhi and was about to step forward and bend down to inspect the roots of a dead peach tree.
Just then.
"Ohhh~" A drawn-out call rang through the orchard. "You two little immortal officials."
Chen Wei paused and peered toward the source of the voice.
Without the slightest warning.
Ten paces away.
On a previously empty blue stone, a monk had somehow appeared, sitting cross-legged.
The monk wore a monastic robe with its collar hanging wide open, and he was toying with a peach.
Chen Wei dared not be careless. He and Ma Muzhi had now attained Heavenly Immortal bodies; with their spiritual senses spread out, they could detect even the slightest rustle of wind or grass.
Yet neither had noticed when the monk appeared.
Moreover, the very first words out of the monk's mouth had exposed their identities as immortal officials. He had seen straight through them at a glance.
His cultivation had to be unfathomable.
Besides, this was the Victorious Fighting Buddha's old home, where he had attained Buddhahood. An inscrutable monk appearing on the Monkey King's turf might well have countless threads tying him to the Buddhas of the Western Heaven.
They could not afford to offend him.
Chen Wei hurried forward, stopped three paces away, and clasped his hands in a bow to the monk. "Greetings, master."
The monk did not rise. He casually wiped the peach, opened his large mouth, and took a bite.
Juice spilled everywhere.
His lip-smacking sounded especially loud in the orchard.
As he took great bites of the peach, the monk asked indistinctly, "What have you two come here for?"
Keeping his hands clasped, Chen Wei delivered the official explanation he had prepared beforehand. "Master, we have been ordered to investigate the blight affecting Flower-Fruit Mountain's fruit trees. That is precisely why we have come."
The words had barely left his mouth.
The monk stopped chewing. A moment later, he abruptly slapped his thigh and burst into laughter. "Hahahaha! They only sent two little officials like you? What could you possibly uncover? What would you dare uncover?"
He rocked back and forth with laughter, every word dripping with contempt.
Chen Wei's expression remained unchanged, as though he had heard nothing.
Ma Muzhi, however, could not contain himself. After years of bitter struggle, he had finally become a Heavenly Immortal. He had thought he could swagger through the mortal realm in all his glory, only to have some stray monk mock him to his face the moment he landed.
Even an immortal had a spark of temper.
Ma Muzhi stiffened his neck and protested, "Monk! Don't look down on us! As the saying goes! Clouds follow the dragon, winds follow the tiger! Dragon-and-tiger heroes stand proud beneath the heavens! We two brothers are immortals, after all! We're no slouches!"
Chen Wei did not stop him. This was a good chance to use Old Ma to test the monk's mettle.
The monk stopped laughing and blinked.
After a long while.
He smiled and nodded repeatedly. "Very well, very well. As you say. You must investigate with all the tiger's awe-inspiring might!"
Meanwhile.
Incense curled through the rear hall of the mountain god's temple in Flower-Fruit Mountain's territory.
The mountain god, Xiahou Lie, reclined comfortably in a grand armchair. The fellow had a leopard-like head and round, bulging eyes-the face of a military commander-but affected refinement by wearing a silk civil official's robe, making him look neither one thing nor the other.
A figure stood ramrod straight below him in the hall.
He was twelve feet tall, his body still covered in black fur, with a massive bear's head and protruding fangs.
Xiahou Lie picked up his teacup lid and skimmed the tea leaves aside. "Big Bear, remember our roles when the heavenly officials arrive. I'll play the bad cop, and you'll play the good cop."
"My lord, what does that mean?" Big Bear scratched the back of his head, looking utterly lost.
"Idiot!" Xiahou Lie slapped the table. "On the surface, we'll go along with what they say. Behind their backs, we'll coat ourselves in sugar, then stab them in the back! Catch them completely off guard!"
Big Bear nodded vigorously, only half understanding. "Got it! Backstab them to death!"
Xiahou Lie had long since used his connections to establish that Chen Wei and Ma Muzhi were merely two fledgling immortal officials.
Just two green boys, nothing to fear.
Investigate the case?
Could they even make sense of it?
Beside him, a chief clerk with a goatee stepped forward with his back bent and his face wreathed in smiles, his flattery ringing to the heavens. "My lord, your foresight is truly divine. They must think we'll line up outside the mountain gates to welcome the heavenly officials' arrival."
"Ah, but we'll do the exact opposite. We won't welcome them at all!"
"We'll sit right here in the temple drinking tea and leave them out in the cold to blunt their edge. Once we throw them off balance, they'll be easy to handle!"
[To get this new ten-thousand-character installment finished today, I sat without respite for half the night, fearing I might cough up every last drop of blood from the tip of my heart. I sought nothing else, only that you dear brothers and sisters might find it diverting and amusing, enough to coax a smile onto your faces. If it truly does catch your fancy, a little gift or a few five-star reviews would leave my heart a thousand times willing and content, however much more torment these weary bones must endure.]
[In plain language: both the new book and the old book are updating as usual.]
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