An Underworld Phone

Du Yu patted Zhongli Chun on the shoulder. "Hey, it's all right. Your injuries haven't healed yet. This is exactly when you need to rest."

Only after hearing Du Yu say that did Zhongli Chun reluctantly agree.

"While you're at it, take my jacket back to the room too. Thanks!" Du Yu took off his jacket and handed it to Zhongli Chun.

Zhongli Chun took the jacket, gently cradled it against her chest, and slowly followed the staff member away.

"All right, let's get back to business." He Suoyi stroked his beard. "The missions aren't that urgent, but there are quite a few."

"Quite a few?"

"Indeed. Countless legends have piled up over the years, most of them grade C. Now that we have an Operator, we should resolve them gradually and eliminate trouble down the road." He Suoyi waved his hand, and a pizza box stood upright before them. Pointing at it, he said, "Take a close look at these legends. The first is called... rich cheese pizza... legend...?"

"Director, your condition seems to have gotten worse again. You summoned a pizza box, not a screen," Dong Qianqiu said, adjusting her glasses.

"Huh? Did I?" He Suoyi took a closer look, hurriedly tossed the pizza box aside, and pulled over a monitor. As though nothing had happened, he said, "Look closely. I've roughly divided these legends into three categories: Underworld Enforcers, heavenly officials, and historical figures."

"The Underworld Enforcers are mostly people we know. If something goes wrong with their legends, they may never become Underworld Enforcers, and the entire structure of the underworld could change. Heavenly officials generally refers to the immortals of the Heavenly Court. They have many legendary stories, so there's also a high chance of something going wrong. Historical figures are people like Miss Zhongli just now, whose legends concern mortals from birth to death."

Du Yu looked at the monitor. The screen was packed with names, looking just like a karaoke song list. There were dozens of legends, major and minor, some he had never even heard of.

"I believe our most pressing task is to resolve these two legends first." He Suoyi pointed. "Cui Jue Slays the Tiger, and Black and White Impermanence."

Dong Qianqiu nodded. She seemed to understand the director's intention. Grand Judge Cui Jue and Black and White Impermanence had already clearly extended an olive branch to the Legend Management Bureau. Now that their legends had encountered problems, this was the perfect opportunity to strengthen their relationship.

"By the way, Du Yu, do you remember what the Grand Judge asked you to do?" Dong Qianqiu asked with some concern.

"I do. But..." Du Yu looked at the screen. "I don't intend to deal with those three first."

"Hmm?" He Suoyi also looked at the screen. "What, do you have another choice in mind?"

Du Yu reached out and pointed at the name in the corner of the screen: "Saltless Woman."

"This Saltless Woman is Zhongli Chun, right?" Du Yu asked.

"Yes." He Suoyi nodded. "Zhongli Wuyan herself."

"I want to see what exactly happened between her and me." Du Yu seemed lost in thought. "She really has me far too curious."

"Oh? You're going to leave the Grand Judge and Seven and Eight's affairs aside and deal with Zhongli Chun first?" He Suoyi considered it for a moment, then said meaningfully, "I wouldn't really recommend that. You need to think it through."

Du Yu looked at He Suoyi, not understanding what he meant.

"Zhongli Chun's legend is rather troublesome. First, she was born during the Warring States period. There are many mortal legends from that era, and they're all interlinked. Tug one strand, and the whole body moves. Second, hers is one of the relatively rare long-term legends. Although it's a low-difficulty Class C Mission, the Operator will need to descend multiple times over the several decades of her life. That takes considerable manpower and resources."

"So that's how it works?" Du Yu thought for a moment, then asked, "Are there many long-term legends like that?"

"They aren't particularly common, but there are a number of them," He Suoyi replied. "The legends of Yang Jian, Sun Wukong, and others like them are all long-term ones."

"In that case, wouldn't this grade C legend be the perfect opportunity for me to get some practice?"

"Hmm... you're the Operator, so naturally the decision is yours. We're merely offering advice." He Suoyi nodded. "In that case, you'll officially enter the Saltless Woman's legend tomorrow. It's late today, so get some rest first."

After speaking, He Suoyi remembered something else. He took an object out of his pocket and pressed it into Du Yu's hand.

"Oh, right. As an Operator of the Legend Management Bureau, you ought to have a phone of your own. The bureau has issued you this one. Take it and use it for now."

Du Yu took it and examined it carefully. After a long while, he still couldn't stop himself from saying, "Director, this is a remote control..."

"Huh?" He Suoyi rummaged in his pocket for another long while before finally pulling out a phone. "This one's right."

Du Yu thanked He Suoyi, then headed toward his room with the phone and Dong Qianqiu.

"Qianqiu... do we have any spare rooms here?"

"Are you... looking for somewhere to settle Zhongli Chun?"

"Yes... having her stay in my room all the time doesn't really seem right."

"I'll take her to stay at my place in a bit," Dong Qianqiu said. "There aren't many mortals here, and most of us don't need sleep, so that's our only guest room. But I have an office of my own. Zhongli Chun can stay there."

When the two reached the room, they found Zhongli Chun curled up quietly on the bed like a well-behaved kitten. She slept peacefully, holding Du Yu's jacket in her arms. Strangely, though, there were still tears at the corners of her eyes.

"Hmm?" Du Yu looked at Zhongli Chun. "Qianqiu, didn't you just say only mortals need to sleep?"

"Well... if I remember correctly... Zhongli Chun is a mortal. I just don't know why she refuses to reincarnate and keeps staying in the underworld."

"You mean..." Du Yu looked at Dong Qianqiu in disbelief. "A mortal nearly scattered your soul today...?"

"Yes. It may sound unbelievable, but you absolutely cannot judge Zhongli Chun by ordinary standards. She seems to know some methods of immortal cultivation, but she's never undergone systematic training. As a result, she wields immortal power directly through a mortal body. I'm not very clear on the details either. I never paid attention to Zhongli Chun's legend before."

As the two spoke, Zhongli Chun slowly opened her eyes.

"You're back?" Her gaze passed over Dong Qianqiu and went straight to Du Yu. "I... didn't mess anything up here, did I...?"

"Don't worry." Du Yu smiled at Zhongli Chun. "Even if you did, no one would blame you."

Zhongli Chun managed a faint smile for Du Yu as well.

"Zhongli Chun," Dong Qianqiu said, "you and Du Yu are an unmarried man and woman, after all. It isn't appropriate for you both to stay here. Come stay at my place."

"Hmm?" Zhongli Chun glanced at Dong Qianqiu. "Why isn't it appropriate?"

"Why?" Dong Qianqiu grew a little angry. "Do you lack not only basic common sense, but even a basic sense of propriety?"

Although Zhongli Chun didn't understand, she could tell Dong Qianqiu was scolding her. She looked at Du Yu and asked, "Do you want me to leave?"

"Huh?" Du Yu found himself in a bind. He quickly waved his hands and said, "Miss Zhongli, you have to understand. I'm not asking you to leave because I think you're in the way. It's just that staying here really isn't quite appropriate..."

"'Miss Zhongli'...?" Zhongli Chun looked at Du Yu like a child who had done something wrong. "You called me 'Miss Zhongli'... if I leave, will I never see you again?"

"Never see me again?" Du Yu froze. "How could that happen? I have to stay here for at least another hundred years. You can come see me whenever you want."

"A hundred years..." Zhong Wuyan murmured. "How could a hundred years be enough... to see you again... I've already waited in this gloomy underworld for two thousand three hundred years..."

"Miss Zhongli, what are you saying?" Du Yu asked.

"Nothing." For the first time, Zhongli Chun didn't answer Du Yu's question. She seemed a little choked up. Glancing at Dong Qianqiu, she said, "Hey, take me to your place."

Before the two left, Dong Qianqiu tossed Du Yu a slip of paper. "Now that you have a phone, here's my number. You already have the Seventh Master's and Eighth Master's numbers too. Add us on GhostChat so we can keep in touch."

"Add you on what?!" Du Yu thought he had misheard. "'GhostChat'?"

"Yes. Don't you use it in the mortal world?"

"That's seriously something else..." Du Yu said. "The stuff we use doesn't have such underworld-style names..."

After seeing the two off, Du Yu lay on his stomach on the bed and started fiddling with his new phone. New to him, at least-it was clearly secondhand, with obvious signs of wear. Given the Legend Management Bureau's straitened circumstances, Du Yu was certain some employee had discarded it after upgrading. Fortunately, although the phone was old, it had everything it needed.

Du Yu searched around and opened GhostChat, whose black icon featured a little white ghost. Its interface was almost identical to the one he used in the mortal world, except it was steeped in underworld atmosphere, with features like "Find nearby ghosts" and "Drifting urns" that sounded anything but normal...

Du Yu opened the add-friend function, entered Dong Qianqiu's, Xie Bi'an's, and Fan Wujiao's phone numbers, and sent requests. To his surprise, Xie Bi'an accepted in less than three seconds.

"Oh! If it isn't our esteemed Operator!" Xie Bi'an sent him a message straight away.

"Don't tease me, Seventh Master. Just call me Brother Du," Du Yu replied.

"All right, Little Du. I'm truly overwhelmed by the honor. Am I your first friend?"

"Looks like it."

After those few brief exchanges, Xie Bi'an stopped replying. Enjoying a rare moment of peace, Du Yu began checking the phone's other features. As it turned out, underworld phones were much like mortal ones. Short-video apps, social apps, browsers, even photo-editing apps-it had them all.

Before long, Du Yu suddenly noticed notifications popping up madly on GhostChat. He opened it and saw friend requests from over a dozen people.

"Huh? What's going on?"

While Du Yu was still wondering, more friend requests flooded in. In just a short time, over thirty people had sent requests.

Puzzled, Du Yu checked GhostChat and opened Moments. Xie Bi'an had posted an update just three minutes earlier:

"GhostChat ID of the Legend Management Bureau's newly appointed Operator. Personally verified, absolutely genuine. Anyone interested, transfer Underworld Currency directly. Payment first, ID afterward."

"What the hell?!" Du Yu had never imagined Xie Bi'an would turn him into a business opportunity.

"Seventh Master, that's going too far." Du Yu sent Xie Bi'an a message.

"Hmm? Have you made other friends already?" Xie Bi'an asked, playing dumb.

"Thanks to you, Seventh Master, I'm making friends all across the world."

"You're welcome, you're welcome."

"But Seventh Master, there's something I'd like to ask you."

"What is it?"

Du Yu smiled faintly.

"How are we splitting the money?"

"Splitting?" On the other end of the phone, Xie Bi'an looked utterly baffled. "Little Du, I earned this money through my own abilities. Why should I split it with you?"

"Well, in that case..." Du Yu thought for a moment, then said, "I'll just reject all these friend requests. Adding them doesn't benefit me anyway..."

"Huh? Don't, don't! We can talk this out..." Xie Bi'an began to panic. "If you don't add them, won't that make me a scammer?"

"Exactly." Du Yu grinned wickedly. "I'm not asking for much. A fifty-fifty split will do. For every payment I receive, I'll add one person."

"Alas... I, Xie Bi'an, have been clever all my life, only to get swindled by you today."

"Seventh Master, how can you say that?" Du Yu comforted Xie Bi'an. "I have to add all these friends and greet them too. I'm putting in effort as well."

With an aching heart, Xie Bi'an transferred the money to Du Yu. The amount left Du Yu dumbfounded: a hundred million in a single transfer. Then he remembered that Underworld Currency came in huge denominations to begin with. A hundred million probably didn't buy much.

Without worrying about how much money he had received, Du Yu began accepting all the friend requests. Some were Yin Immortals and heavenly immortals whose names he recognized; others had names he didn't recognize at all, probably ordinary Underworld Enforcers or unaffiliated immortals. In that brief stretch, Du Yu's friend count grew by nearly a hundred, and it was still climbing.

Looking at this motley assortment of people, it truly was:

The Four Heavenly Kings, divine soldiers and generals, the Cangue Master and Lock Master, and the Kitchen God.

Earth Gods, Mountain Gods, old River Lords, Heavenly Venerables, True Persons, and great masters.

Du Yu mechanically added people for a long while before one name suddenly caught his eye.

"Fairy Chang'e."

"By the way, I won't be transferring you any money for Fairy Chang'e. I didn't charge her. I recommended you to her myself," Xie Bi'an suddenly messaged.

"Why did you recommend me to Fairy Chang'e?"

"Why?" Xie Bi'an thought for a moment. "You two do know each other, after all. Isn't it only natural to add each other on GhostChat?"

Du Yu accepted Fairy Chang'e's friend request. Before he could decide what to say, she sent him a video call.

"Huh?!" Du Yu was suddenly at a loss. In all his years, he had never video-called a girl before. And she wasn't even an ordinary girl-she was a real fairy!

Amid the urgent ringing, Du Yu spent ages fixing his hair and clothes before shakily pressing accept.

Before Du Yu could speak, a flurry of fumbling noises came from the other end.

"Huh? Oh no, oh no, why is this a video call...?"

"How do I turn this thing off... oh no, oh no..."

"Uh..." Du Yu waited quite a while, but the screen on the other end remained black. He tentatively asked, "Fairy Chang'e... are you all right...?"

"Ah?!" The screen flashed with light, and Chang'e finally revealed her face. Although she looked completely unprepared, her face, makeup, and hair were still exquisitely arranged.

"Brother Pang Meng, it really is you!"