If I Felt Sad

On that ever-changing battlefield, Bai Qi would already have died if the Qin Kingdom's deputy general had not suddenly ordered a volley of arrows to separate him from those two monster-like figures.

Though the reinforcements that arrived hurriedly carried him away, Bai Qi knew they probably could not win this battle.

After all, those two had escaped unscathed. They would soon regroup and lead their troops back into the fray.

Du Yu and Zhongli Chun did not pursue Bai Qi. Instead, they seized two horses and rode straight toward the Qi Kingdom's Main Camp.

"You..." Zhongli Chun looked at Du Yu and said, "You feel strange."

"Strange? How?" Du Yu asked coldly.

"Familiar, yet unfamiliar."

"Really?" Du Yu nodded noncommittally. "One day, you'll be just as strange as I am. For now, let's win this battle first."

"I can't win this battle alone... I need at least one deputy general capable of commanding an army..."

"No problem. Isn't that why I'm here?" Du Yu said.

"You...?"

"Don't worry. We're going to win this battle." With that, Du Yu pulled his horse around, scooped a Qi general's banner off the ground, and charged into the crowd.

"I am the deputy general Zhongli Chun just appointed! All Qi soldiers, heed my orders!" Du Yu shouted. "Every Squad Leader, raise your battle flag! Squads that are still intact, move toward the blue banner to the south! Incomplete squads, move toward the Red Banner to the west! Execute at once!"

Seeing Du Yu take charge, Zhongli Chun knew he really did have the bearing of a commander. But what was going on?

With the enemy army bearing down on them, Zhongli Chun had no time to dwell on it. She pulled her horse around as well and rode in another direction. "All Squad Leaders, heed my orders! I am Zhong Wuyan, general of Qi! Reorganize the squad members around you and restore your formations! Leave ten paces between squads! Execute at once!"

The exhausted Qi soldiers suddenly caught sight of their commanding general, and their depleted strength slowly began to return.

"Her Majesty the Queen is back?!"

"Our commanding general is still alive?"

Though Her Majesty appeared badly wounded, she was indeed alive. The Qi Kingdom's commanding general was still alive!

"Squad Leaders, form your squads as you follow me!" Du Yu roared. "If you want to live, get running!"

Although the soldiers did not know Du Yu, his overwhelming presence marked him unmistakably as a general.

Du Yu rode swiftly toward several Qi soldiers trapped in danger, pierced their enemies, and rescued them.

At the sight, many Squad Leaders immediately began taking in new members. The scattered crowd fell into formation in an instant.

"Ten-Man Commanders, raise your hands!" Du Yu shouted.

Several people in the crowd raised their hands.

"Only this many left?" Du Yu muttered. There were rather few Ten-Man Commanders, but he quickly gathered himself and shouted, "All Ten-Man Commanders, as deputy general, I hereby appoint you temporary Hundred-Man Commanders! All remaining Squad Leaders are promoted to Ten-Man Commanders. Merge with the units around you! We're launching an all-out attack today! Form ten hundred-man units at once!"

Du Yu's orders were methodical, and he soon restored formation to a large mass of disorganized Qi soldiers.

Just then, an armored young man rode over from the distance, with numerous cavalrymen following behind him.

Seeing Du Yu issuing orders, the young man grew suspicious. He rode to the front and demanded, "Who are you? What is your rank? Why are you organizing troops here?!"

Du Yu looked at the young man before him and could not help smiling. Interesting. I haven't seen him in two thousand years. "Kuang Zhang, I remember you're a Thousand-Man Commander now, aren't you? And yet you only have these hundred men left?"

"You...?" The young general named Kuang Zhang had no idea who this man was or how he knew so much about him, but his tone was far too arrogant. "Don't talk nonsense! For the past three days, I've led my troops all across the battlefield to provide support. The fact that we're still evenly matched is almost entirely thanks to the lives my men sacrificed!"

"Oh?" Du Yu raised an eyebrow. "Is that so? Then we really do owe you our thanks. Hear my orders. I now appoint you Three-Thousand-Man Commander. Regroup immediately and launch a fierce offensive with me."

"Three... Three-Thousand-Man Commander?!" Kuang Zhang was bewildered. "But who are you?! What gives you the right to promote me?"

"Kuang Zhang!" Du Yu shouted. "Have you forgotten what you promised me?"

"Huh?" Kuang Zhang was confused.

"You once told me that if you were entrusted with command in a crisis, you would uphold military orders with your life," Du Yu said.

"You...?" Kuang Zhang's eyes widened. He could not understand why he sensed Her Majesty the Queen's presence in the man before him.

"If we're to survive this battle, stop asking questions for now." Du Yu pulled his horse around. "I'll give you two hours. You must assemble three thousand men. When you judge the time is right, strike straight at the Zhao Army Camp."

"The Zhao Army?" Kuang Zhang thought for a moment, then said, "Forgive my bluntness, but the Zhao Army's offensive isn't particularly fierce at present. Over the past two days, the most formidable force has been Bai Qi's personal guard from the Qin Army. We should destroy that unit first."

"Bai Qi's personal guard has already been wiped out, and Bai Qi himself is wounded," Du Yu said coldly. "Our only remaining target is the Zhao Army Camp."

"What?" Kuang Zhang could not believe that terrifying unit no longer existed, but he quickly realized there was another problem. "Even so... the terrain around the Zhao Army Camp is complicated, with three roads in and out. Even if we launch a surprise attack, Lian Po will surely escape along another road. Then, with the Zhao Army returning to support him, we'll be the ones surrounded."

"Don't worry." Du Yu's face was expressionless, his eyes exceptionally cold. "Three forces of three thousand men will attack along all three roads simultaneously. Lian Po will have nowhere to flee."

"Three forces...?" Kuang Zhang pondered this, then asked, "Also, you said I should deploy when the time is right? When exactly would that be?"

"I already told you." Du Yu looked at Kuang Zhang. "When you judge the time is right."

Lian Po could never have imagined that the Qi army's tactics would suddenly become so eerily unpredictable. The Qi soldiers scattered across the battlefield abruptly began withdrawing in an orderly manner. They left only highly mobile cavalry to keep the Zhao Army occupied, while the remaining infantry gradually retreated.

Although Lian Po caught the scent of a scheme, he could not figure out where the problem lay. Before he could react, three forces suddenly launched surprise attacks on the great mountain to the west where the Zhao Army Camp was stationed. Even the twenty thousand soldiers defending the camp could not stop those three forces of three thousand.

What sort of unspoken coordination could enable three forces so far apart to attack at the same moment?

What sort of generals would lead three thousand men in an unwavering charge against a camp of twenty thousand, without knowing whether the others would even deploy?

Lian Po never managed to understand it.

The sun sank behind the western mountains.

The Qin, Zhao, and Qi Kingdoms all withdrew their troops.

Although the commanding generals of Qin and Zhao had been driven back, the Qi Kingdom had lost more soldiers in this battle.

Lian Po proved capable of swallowing his pride. He actually changed into an infantryman's clothes and escaped amid the chaos. After learning of Lian Po's defeat and retreat, Bai Qi also chose to sound the gong and withdraw, though no one knew what he feared.

With that, the entire Qin-Zhao Allied Army withdrew.

This battle became the sole bizarre victory among the more than seventy battles Bai Qi fought in his lifetime.

Judged by its course, Qin and Zhao had lost. Judged by its outcome, the Qi Kingdom had lost.

The generals of the three three-thousand-man forces gathered on the mountaintop, raising their arms and cheering.

It had been a difficult battle, but a beautifully fought one.

"Huh?" In the midst of raising his arms and cheering, Du Yu suddenly looked puzzled. "What am I...?"

"You..." Zhongli Chun looked into Du Yu's gentle eyes. It was as though he had become another person again. "You're back?"

Du Yu nodded. He still remembered what had just happened, but at the time, he had seemed completely unable to control his body. It felt as though someone else had been manipulating him.

"We won... didn't we?"

"Yes, we won."

"That's wonderful..." Du Yu smiled bitterly.

This time, Du Yu had descended for three days, but nearly all of the remaining two days were spent dressing his wounds and recovering. Zhongli Chun was hardly any better off.

Since Zhongli Chun now lived in the royal palace, hiding Du Yu was rather troublesome. Fortunately, her temperament was peculiar, and few people ordinarily came to see her, giving the two of them a rare respite.

"Honestly, that King Xuan of Qi is a real piece of work..." Du Yu said as he applied medicine to himself. "It's bad enough that he never bothered to ask after you while you were out leading troops into battle. Now you've returned victorious and wounded, and he still completely ignores you?"

"What of it?" Zhongli Chun said indifferently. "King Xuan of Qi and I have only ever been partners."

"Uh..." Du Yu understood what Zhongli Chun meant, so he did not probe further.

Just then, a very faint knock sounded at the door. Looking closely, they could see a lantern hanging outside.

"Who is it?" Du Yu felt a little nervous.

"Don't worry. There's only one person who would come at this hour."

The door slowly opened, and Xiao Xia walked in with a worried expression.

"My lady! How are you? I've come to apply your medicine... Ah!" Xiao Xia spotted Du Yu and screamed. "Who are you?! How dare you be in my lady's... in the middle of the night... Huh? You're...?"

Du Yu smiled faintly and said, "That's right. It's me, the servant you slapped."

"Heavens..." Xiao Xia looked at Du Yu in disbelief. "Twelve years have passed, and you haven't changed at all either. So you really are the same kind of person as my lady?"

"How should I put it... There are still some differences, I suppose," Du Yu said, shaking his head.

"Even if you're an old acquaintance, you can't stay here the whole time." Xiao Xia turned and closed the door. "My lady is wounded. How are you supposed to help treat her?"

"Well... fine, I'll go outside." Du Yu pursed his lips and slowly stood.

"It's all right." Zhongli Chun shook her head and told Du Yu, "If you feel awkward, just turn your head away. This palace isn't like the courtyard I lived in before. It's dangerous for you to stay outside."

"Oh..." Du Yu nodded silently and faced the wall.

He could faintly hear Xiao Xia removing Zhongli Chun's clothes and bandaging her wounds. Neither woman spoke, and Zhongli Chun did not cry out in pain. There was only the sound of a small knife cutting gauze and medicine jars clinking together.

In the room lit by flickering candlelight, the three of them were exceptionally quiet.

Du Yu called Dong Qianqiu several times and found that she never responded. After his previous experience, however, he was not so alarmed. She was probably handling the aftermath now.

"Little Zhongli..." Du Yu said quietly. "I'll be leaving again soon. Once I leave this time, I won't come looking for you again."

Zhongli Chun's heart lurched, but she still said softly, "I understand..."

"So let's make a promise. Next time... you'll come find me instead."

Tears welled in Zhongli Chun's eyes, but she still nodded.

"You need to live out this life properly, understand?" Facing the wall, Du Yu spoke gently.

"I will."

Du Yu thought for a while longer, then continued, "If those two thousand years become too hard, you can give up at any time. Please don't force yourself."

"It won't be hard." Zhongli Chun shook her head. "When I'm tired, I'll sleep in the street. When I'm hungry, I'll steal money and food from bad people. When I'm dirty, I'll bathe in the river... Two thousand years will pass in the blink of an eye."

"That's not what I mean..." Du Yu gritted his teeth and said, "What I'm worried about... is that you'll feel sad..."

"It's all right. If I feel sad, I'll eat something sweet."

My name is Zhongli Chun.

The café I found today has an interesting name. It's like the state I'm in now: Bitter Wait.

I don't know when it began, but nothing I eat tastes sweet anymore. Every day, I'm sadder than I was yesterday, yet I can't find anything sweeter to push that sadness down.

How long has it been?

Two thousand three hundred years, I suppose.

Three hundred years longer than the time we agreed on.

I'm so afraid that one day I'll forget why I wander this Underworld. When that happens, perhaps my soul will scatter into nothing.

But why didn't he appear on time? Is it because I failed to do what he told me?

Is it because I felt sad? I promised him I wouldn't feel sad, but how could I not?

I tasted the dessert on the table. The clerk said it was the sweetest thing in the shop, but I couldn't taste it. My heart was so bitter.

The man at the next table kept looking at me.

Was it because I looked sad now?

No. I couldn't let anyone see me looking sad.

I hit that man. I couldn't control my emotions now, and this time I struck too hard. He smashed through the door and flew outside.

The clerk asked why I had hit someone.

I told her it was because I was in a bad mood. Though that was what I said, I felt very sorry.

Another Underworld Enforcer appeared outside the door from somewhere, swearing away. He was so noisy. I wanted to send him flying too, but then a madwoman sprang out and blocked me.

That madwoman seemed familiar. I had seen her a very, very long time ago, but who was she? I couldn't remember.

Everyone here today had seen that I was sad. I couldn't let them leave.

For some reason, that madwoman suddenly conjured a shield. It was nothing to me, though. I smashed it in just a few blows.

I was very sorry. Though I had no quarrel or grudge against any of them, I truly couldn't let them leave today.

Because when I saw him again, I didn't want him to hear from someone else that I had felt sad.

I had to finish fighting quickly, then go eat the dessert. Otherwise, I would feel even sadder.

"Stop!!!"

I suddenly heard a shout and froze. I had waited more than two thousand years for that voice.

I turned around and saw him.

He was just as he had been when I first saw him. He hadn't changed at all.

He seemed to say a great many more things, but my mind was blank, and I heard none of them. All I knew was that my heart was no longer bitter. I wanted to share the sweetest dessert on the table with him.

But why did he refuse?

Could he have... forgotten me?

He told me to stay here and not move. He would go buy me some mandarins.

Mandarins. I knew those. They were sweet too. It seemed he hadn't forgotten. He remembered me. He really still remembered.

Last time, I hadn't listened to him. I had often let other people see me feeling sad, so he had come three hundred years late.

This time, I absolutely wouldn't move again. I would listen. I would wait here for him, wait for him to return.

"Little Zhongli, let's make a promise. Next time, you'll come find me instead."

I remembered what he had said back then.

Yes. I found you, just as we promised.